Time to regroup for the week ahead

I'm not going to lie.  This weekend has been horrible for me -eating / activity wise.  I won't even go into what all have gone past my lips recently.

What I will say is that I want wipe it all clean and start new from this post.  I have junk left at my house and it's going to work tomorrow to be distributed among the hugry wolves there.  I just can't trust myself around junk food.  I'm a little mad in retrospect because I was in WalMart -- where food is super-cheap.  I checked out and a bag that had various items in it like cookies, popcorn.. yada yada accidentally got left at the register.

Now would you have taken that as a sign from God?  A sorta diet-karma intervention?

Well the story doesn't have a happy ending.  I went back to Wal-Mart and claimed my missing "junk" - litterally.

Bad Jen!! 

Moving Doors

I knew that change was coming.  

Wed when I went to work, I found out through DA that essentially my dept at the system office is leaving... both through eliminated positions and decision to leave. Of course I was jaw-dropped -- but feeling safe and 'Thank God' that I had had the conversation when I was down there last week that the support I was lending down there was essentially a full-time position... and that I wanted to return to only working full-time here.

Well then later that day, the system office dept SVP essentially called me to make sure I had seen the announcement, and then explained that the dept was splitting to be both Marketing and Communications -- and then asked if I would be interested in pursuing the full-time position created for Web Manager. Immediately I think "No Way" -- I always do. My first gut reaction to everything is alway the no.... but then as I got to thinking about it... and of course I don't remember everything in the conversation... but I think I do remember her making it a point to say that she didn't care where I sat to work --- that she'd done international work herself -- from sitting in the Mid-West.

Of course DA thinks it's a no brainer. It's good he pushes me. A thinks it is too... why don't I?

So I've also learned that they are definitely eliminating positions at my facility. From what I hear.... it's definitely over 10 and will come only from support positions... not clinical. That's very scary. So doors moving everywhere. DA seems to think that my specific position wouldn't have been affected, but maybe it doesn't even matter now.

All I know is that to deal with all this -- I've not made very good food decisions. Not happy with myself, but it's June 1st. Anothert day to start over and I can't expect perfect behavior just with the snap of my fingers.

...

I just made an extremely long post -- accidently hit the wrong key and lost the entire thing.   It was passionate too!! lol

Maybe I'll have oomph to type it out later.  Major changes happening at work.  Supersized portion of stress.

Scale-addiction starting

I told myself lastnight when I went to bed that I would NOT weigh in this morning.  I hadn't gotten all my water in, and was actually finally finishing my food intake for the day right before 10:00 pm

Well I couldn't resist.  Of course the scale did not show me anything I wanted to see.  I'll just do better today.  IF anything, getting in all my water --which UGHHH  at the 1/2 oz per lb rate is like 135 oz.  That's like one of those Culligan water jugs.  Why not just stick a nozzle on one and down it?

Postive choice yesterday.  Work wanted to go out for lunch -- went to this sandwhich shop -- and I SPLIT a sandwich with someone.  I figured I shaved 1/2 the calories I would have otherwise eaten.... and I was just fine. 

Feels like a Monday

I got up this morning feeling like I had more spring in my step.  I'm 2 days into recommittment to the Nutrisystem program and definitely in the detox mode.  Of course I raced to the flippin' scale.  No difference.  Patience Jen... I know my body needs to adjust to the fact that I'll continue to feed it healthy... no need to hold on extra long to the nutrients... please. lol.

Not really all that hungry, but drinking all the water is really hard for me.  I've resorted to adding Crystal Light powder -- 2 individual packets per 1/2 gallon drinking jug.  That makes it really diluted, but enough flavor to not be "water-boring"

Off to work - I'm guilty of not working on anything this holiday weekend... I had all intentions, but they all changed once I was home... besides, I think I did something better by using this weekend to start taking steps to get back in control of this pound dumping journey.

Recommitted

It seems that May is my month to really reflect on life.  I don't want to be sitting here May 2008 in the same out of shape situation.  It's time to get serious and take control.    If I'd done this very thing back when I started this blog... I may have been at the beach, trying on a new summer wardrobe, or doing something much more fun then what I am...

Indoor like a hermit -- browsing the Internet for success stories of people who've successfully regained control of their lives.  I want to be an inspiration to others. 

The one thing I do have to mention is that it's not like I haven't done anything this past year.  I went through a really sloooow stint of therapy to discuss my bulimia.  While I'll never be 100% cured, I do feel that I'm in a better place.  Life is a journey and I'm ready to make my life.. and me even better.

Bump in the road

Well I kinda thought I would have a little trouble staying on track during the trip to Az... and I was right.  I started out great last Thursday (even counting out 5 Breakfasts, Lunch, and Dinners and taking them with me) as we drove there, but got back home today and feel like it's going to be starting all over.

In the past 24 hours, 3 meals have been fast food.  That's just gross.  How easy to slip into old habits.  I haven't weighed myself yet since being back.  Kinda scared to because I don't want to lose momentum.  I did however go right back and eat a NS Dinner tonight with fruit, etc.. so that's a really good sign.  I'll slip back into the program tomorrow morning.

Ciao.

Off and running

Well I'm ending day 3 on Nutrasystem.  So far, all is going REALLY well.  Amazingly enough I've already lost 2lbs.  I don't expect that to last long, but I'll take it! 

Tough day today, but quite proud of myself that I didn't turn to food as a fake fluffer to comfort me.  What is it they say?  It takes 23 times to form a habit?  Well here's to good habits.  I'm getting ready for a roadtrip to Az.  The real test will be sticking with my plan while away from home.  I think I can do it.  Time will tell.. ekkkk!