Apparently in 2wks time they're announcing a new plan, now without going into details on what it will include, it did make me think.....

One of the problems I've been having recently is eating ... and ... eating ... and eating .... but mainly eating junk .. ie takeouts, chocolate, crisps, biscuits, if it stops still long enough, I'll eat it.

So, last night on the way back from WW before we had Chinese ... I went to the supermarket, with absolutely none of this in my mind, I ate a very nice Snickers bar, and I bought a French stick in the reduced aisle (shop due to shut in 5 mins, means for reduced bakery items) ..... came home and wolfed some bread and butter..... ate the Chinese .. and later had another bit of bread and butter.

Why did I do all this? Because I was unprepared ....

I've been of the mentality that we have no food in and I'm not going to go grocery shopping until next week, so need to make do ... which means ... "oh, there's nothing inspiring in .... takeaway .. yet again".

Now a) there is nothing to stop me going shopping this week, apart from I'd rather do it closer to pay day and b) I do actually have a fairly well stocked pantry and freezer.

So .... this morning I have eaten my porridge with f/f blueberry yoghurt

Drank 2 cups of coffee with s/s milk

And made some carrot & red lentil soup, which apparently is enough for 4 (looks more like for 6) .. but if it's 4 portions, then I've worked it out to be 3pts per portion (although if I was going to be truly WW orientated, I wouldn't include the calories from the carrots ... so that'd be 2.25pts per portion)

You see being unprepared leaves me both economically worse off (go on you do the maths ..... use food you've already paid for .. or eat takeaway at approx $30 per go!) and calorie deficient and putting on the poundage, resulting in me not fitting into the clothes I've got and therefore needing to buy the next size up (no, I'm not there yet, I'm stopping it before I get that way!)

So, no I haven't worked out since Monday, and realistically it will be next Monday before I go again ... but I am going to do some serious food inventorying and planning ... it's back to being truly accountable of what I'm eating.

"Back to Basics" here I come ......

 I am getting fatter and fatter and fatter ... and I'm sure it has nothing to do with the following eating habits:

Thurs - Chinese

Fri - can't recall, but did cook

Sat - Fish and chips

Sun - Indian Takeaway

Mon - Chinese

Tues - cooked *but* was uninspired by it .. and resorted to sharing a portion of fries with DH

Wed .... OMG .. I actually cooked the fish pie !!

And all of this the week before my WW WI .. the one which would have marked me being at my goal weight for ONE whole year.

I'm such a sap.

I'm sure I have a million "reasons" (read: excuses) for this crap eating pattern. But, forgive me, if none of them come immediately to mind, except for the fact .. I haven't wanted to cook, and no one else around here is either currently.

I was, therefore, exceptionally proud of myself for actually getting off my butt and making the fish pie. It's a shame I didn't make it to the gym .. but at least I made the pie, right?!

This coming week has to be a "use it up" week, i.e. eating from the freezer .... it's the week before pay day, and more importantly the week before a shoulder of beef comes to us, ready for me to batch cook, and fill the tummy of the freezer with delicious "ready" meals.

Sadly, I am strangely excited at the prospect of spending next Sunday cooking.

So, a menu plan needs to be formed for this week .. a menu plan which doesn't make me think "yuk" as did this weeks ... problem is .... I'm lacking imagination (and ingredients!)

I have plenty of rice, cous cous, pasta, potatoes ...

I have onions and carrots

I have meat ... though what type I can't recall

I have plenty of dried beans

I have 3 loaves of bread

So:

Thurs = Chinese (oh, don't)

Fri = filled pasta / sauce and garlic bread

Sat = sausage casserole with rice (remember to cook extra rice for Tues meal)

Sun = friend stopping over ... so ... roast beef (there is a joint in there somewhere!), Yorkshire puds and veggies (may need to buy parsnips and broccoli)

Mon = Fishcakes / potato waffles / baked beans

Tues = Egg fried rice with either turkey or chicken (dependant on what's in the freezer!)

Wed = A pie ... turkey and bacon perhaps?

Thurs = Chinese

Fri = Sticky ribs and veggie cous cous

SAT - GO SHOPPING !!!!!!

(Oh and for lunches ... I currently have 3 bags of carrots ... I'm thinking red lentil and carrot soup may favour highly in this thought! .. I have tortilla wraps too ... and there's a pack of crumpets, and a pack of cheese ... I can, and I will do this!)

Perhaps this cold has finally gone from my system, but I'm feeling strangely positive.

I've made a conscious decision .... that being rather than being a pure number on the scale (though I do want that number to read 9st 0lbs!) .... I really, really want to be the size I was in April (which incidentally was when I was 9st 1lbs) ... I want to be that "perfect" 10. Not the squeezed in 10 I am at the moment. There I said it !!

So, the size "10" I am taking for this is Next's "10", which is 34" / 27" / 36"

As of this lunchtime, I am 35 / 29 / 38.5 (which, cough, splutter, makes my top half a "12" and my bottom half a "12 / 14" ).

I am no longer going to delude myself that just cos I fit into the 10's, that the 10's is where I currently am at, measurement wise.

Vanity sizing, donchya just love it.

In order to do this, I am going to focus on the exercise, and let the food follow .... but I have sat down and made up a food plan for this week, in another vague attempt to curb the munchies and takeaways (yes, I will be having Chinese tonight !)

So, here goes, foodwise:

Friday: leftover "surprise" with veggies and wedges (I have some unidentified stew / casserole portions lurking in the freezer which need to be eaten .. and I need to buy a freezer pen which actually works, LOL)

Sat: Fish pie (I am going to make it, I am, I am!)

Sun: Stuffed chicken breast with soft cheese, garlic & chives, veggies & cous cous

Mon: Mr Ed's egg fried rice (not that he knows this yet ;) ) ... as I'm going to a Day Spa and have no interest in cooking when coming back, LOL.

Tues: Prawn stirfry & noodles

Wed: Pasta bean salad

Exercise "plan":

Gym x 4 somehow ....

Fri: Gym in the evening

Sat: Gym in the morning

Sun: None

Mon: Day Spa ... may do some, may not ....

Tues: Pilates class

Wed: Gym in the morning

This is a one week "lifestyle" plan ... on which I shall be focussing one meal at a time ...... 

S'pose I'd best go cut up a few carrots and make up some sugar free jelly then ... LOL.

 I'm going on the premise that if I blog each day, I may start to actually focus on this weight loss / exercise gain thing.

Although I do have to report first off .. my back aches!

I don't think it was the gym that has caused the pain, I think it was the sweeping and shovelling of 5 bags of rubble from outside the house, that "may", may just have caused the damage.

However, also ... my legs ache .. but that I think I attribute to the gym. With the legs, it's that "nice", morning after "ooh I've exercised" hurty feeling.

Weight this morning, not sure .. somewhere between 9st 9.25lbs and 9st 8.5lbs, with jumper. So gawd alone knows what WW WI will bring me tonight...

But, that's ok, I know that I've been rubbish on the eating front, but better on the exercise front. It'll come, it'll come ....

Now, sending positive vibes to TatumsMom ..... good luck!

 I had planned to go to the gym "at some point" today, but decided as the yeast hadn't defrosted, etc., etc., that instead of baking and then going (or rather baking, then realising I'm outta time .... and possibly going after DD has gone to bed (more and more unlikely) ). That instead I had to seize the moment and haul myself to the gym.

(Well, right after I'd had a coffee obviously, LOL)

So, this posting is coming to you from a happy Zed. Gym - tick ..... and now for the rest of my day. But, what it won't contain is guilt at not going to the gym :)

Foodplan, once again, I plan to make fish pie. This time at least, I have already made the mash for the topping.

Weight, no idea, whatsoever ... but heck, who cares ... I've been to the gym, LOL!

Have a great day, because I will :)

 Well, I did indeed go to the gym yesterday, it may have not been the longest workout in the world, nor the shortest ... but it was the best run I've done in eons. Admittedly it was only a mile, but a mile in 9:30 makes me happy.

Now to keep it under 10, and aim for my "best" of 8:29 ... no pressure then, LOL.

Today I had planned for some "me" time, but unfortunately it didn't quite workout like that, my ma needed some "me" time, ie .. time with me. So, I ended up driving for 3hrs and am absolutely worn out. But it was worth it.

Exercise wise I was going to go to Pilates, but a combination of DH home too late and me feeling worn out has resulted in a "no show", but I have danced to HSM3 for about 30 mins frenetically with DD, including lots of leg kicks and star jumps, twirls etc., so I think I'm "good" for some aerobic exercise, LOL.

I haven't yet cooked dinner for DH & I, as I had a large lunch (Spanish omelette, salad and a roll), but I have defrosted some bacon chops and I have made some mash, so later all we need to do is assemble and grill the chops.

I have been looking for a dress for a works "do" I am going to next month, which has the theme of "gangsters", so I've been looking down the road of being a "moll" or going as a "flapper" ... however, today, I bought a frock .... which is nothing like either of those, so somehow I have to persuade myself that it will still work, accessories from the 1930's perhaps? (I'm thinking long pearls)

Here's the dress, I also bought some evening gloves

So, what does this have to do with dieting ... it has to do with the fact that this is a UK 10 (US 6) and I fitted into it . Now, I just need to ensure I stay the same size (or less) until mid-December, LOL.

Of course, I also need shoes ... someone help !!!

Right, for now, I'm going for a bath, I need to do my nails and think of 1930's hairdo's.....

 I'm not going to give up. However, part of me does think that I've already given up. I seem to be on a path of self-destruction. Let's not discuss the amounts of food (or types) consumed this weekend.

Let's start a-fresh today.

Weight BAN: 9st 8.5lbs, which means I'm about 9st 11.5lbs, which is 6lbs over where I want to be on November 22nd.

1 x coffee with s/s milk

1 x bowl of porridge, apple puree, f/f yoghurt

Dinner will be turkey & chickpea curry with rice

Then I'm going to go to the gym this evening. There will be no excuses (except if some peculiar reason the meeting I'm going to at 6 this evening lasts until 9, which bluntly I can't see happening!)

I don't care how much / how little I actually do at the gym, the physical process of me hauling my body there will suffice for today.

Losing weight shouldn't be rocket science, losing weight should be a case of putting less calories into my body than I'm expending .... so, why doesn't this stop me shovelling food which I know is going to sit firmly on my hips into my mouth!?!

Am I just "afraid" of succeeding? Am I just not in the mood? Do I just not need to actually lose any more weight? Am I just plain depressed at the moment? Is it a case of having been cold ridden for the past 2 weeks, and stressed about so many other things? Does it not help that my house looks like hell, and I seem to be the only one who notices?

Or ... is it all of the above?

Whatever it is, I really do need to stop the pity party and actually do something positive for myself. This weeks aim is to get those endorphines pumping. Even though the very thought of going to the gym leads me to wanting to find a box of chocolate biscuits, cup of tea and retire to bed with a book!

 Still cold ridden, feeling like I'm going to be that way forever. I know I won't, but it's hard at the moment to remember how feeling "well" feels. Ok, enough self-pitying drivel.

Never ever weigh the morning after takeaway. Oh and don't eat the other half of the bar of chocolate, just because you know that your weight will be up cos of the takeaway, so the chocolate won't count!

Now would I have done that, would I? .

Ah well, at least the temptation is no longer there, LOL.

Food today:

2 x coffee with s/s milk

1 x tea with s/s milk (in front of me )

HM Carrot & Ginger soup with 3 slices of HM bread and butter (feeling v.full now!)

Dinner is slightly changed, in the sense that we're not having gammon, as I found a rack of lamb ribs in the freezer, so we'll have those with roasted butternut squash, carrots & taters.

 I think this cold is wreaking havoc with my weight.

Yesterday I ate:

Ham & Cheese on toast

Drank some water & some coffee

Slice of birthday cake, small though.

Dinner was HM pork & leek pie with shortcrust pastry, carrots & sweetcorn

1/2 bottle of wine

2 bags of crisps

1/2 big bar of Green & Black's whit chocolate

1 mini-twix finger (98 cals apparently ... but no idea on sat fat)

1 small bag of Haribo, about 6 jellies

..... weight this morning ..... 9st 7lbs (after drinking 3 mugs of coffee and eating my porridge).

I still feel, horrible.... this cold is now truly boring me to death. 10 days and going strong. Bleurgh.

Menu plan, as threatened for the week, just in a vain attempt to put some focus of some sort into my life, though whether I follow it remains to be seen:

Tonight: Takeaway (good start huh!) ... either Chinese or Indian, prob. Indian as I think my favourite Chinese is shut tonight and the alternative was really cr** last week)

Friday: Gammon, with roasted butternut squash, carrots & potatoes

Sat: HM Fish Pie

Sun: Bbq'd sticky ribs & veggie cous cous

Mon: HM Turkey & chickpea curry with rice

Tues: HM chicken goujons, potato wedges, peas and carrots

Wed: DD may be having a playdate, if so HM pizza & garlic bread. If not ... HM pizza & garlic bread, LOL.

Exercise wise, not made any firm plans, as whilst I feel like this, I have zilch inclination, nor do I wish to spread my germs around the gym. But .... tentatively:

Fri: Gym

Sat / Sun: None, DH has got to get cracking on DIY, so I shall be busy with DD

Mon: Gym, but dependant on what time I get through with DD's school

Tues: Pilates

Wed: Gym

So, aiming for 4 sessions, if I manage 1, it'll be better than this week!!

 Or at least that's what it seems like.

I have a stinking cold, I lost my voice on Saturday night and I've eaten more than an elephant could, and my weight reflects that. Gym, what gym .... I went once last week.

This morning's weight was 9st 10lbs.

I need to get a grip, but the only thing that has a grip is this cold.

The problem is the more I eat, the hungrier I am.

I need to reign this back in.

On the flipside, the party was a huge success, the entertainer entertained, DD got loads of pressies. And all the Thank You cards have been written.

Our finances are up to date, and I've done all the laundry and all the ironing.

So, what am I going to do about the weight? Well, I do need to get to the gym, but bluntly that is not going to happen until this cold has dissipated, so I guess in the meantime I need to focus on food.

I won't mention the late night ham, egg & cheese on toast fest, nor shall I mention the ham & cheese on toast for lunch today.

Instead, I shall go make myself a cup of coffee and slob out for 30 mins before picking up DD and reflect upon the idea of a mealplan .... I'll be back!!