running

well i don't have much time because i'm about to go back to work

just wanted to say i'm still doing good! i ran a mile last night...i could have gone longer but i REALLY had to pee haha...then i did eliptical for 20 minutes

its funny how things other people do can affect your day..but i'm working on not letting that happen!

have a great day!

stunna

i did soo good yesterday! i was proud. no cheating...and i did the eliptical for 20 minutes @ level 9 at an incline of 11 then did weights for about 15 minutes.

i am getting bummed because my running partner has a "guy friend" (i think he's probably more...) and is going running with him now...and i went with them once and just wasn't comfortable with him so now i've lost my running friend. i'm still going to the gym though and i ate pretty good today. i did have one cookie but not that big of a deal.

i've been pushing water. i do drink diet cokes some but definitely not as much as before and i drink water a LOT more than i used to.

some days i just want to move to a big city far away and start new. new friends, new job, new city...i think it'd be so fun. i've only been here a year so i will probably give it another year before i'd do that. plus, i'm not sure where i'd go.

just some thoughts.

period.

well, my scale ran out of batteries...and i was surprisingly relieved! i concentrate too much on the NUMBER sometimes rather than how my clothes are fitting/inches. i mean, numbers are good to kind of see progress, but if you're gaining muscle, sometimes numbers aren't going to reflect progress accurately. (my friend stepped on my scale yesterday and asked if it was right. i said "i don't know...maybe a couple pounds heavy....i hope anyway!" and he said "..you think there's any way its like 23 pounds heavy?" haha)

anyway! it always amazes me how much periods can affect me. i just retain so much water and eat so much...and start freaking out because i've gained so much. then it all just comes off. i mean, i wish MORE would come off...but...at least i haven't gained what i thought.

today went pretty well. we did get chili's catered for lunch but i ordered the carribean salad (SOOO good) on romaine lettuce with fat free honey mustard. we also got cookies delivered and i did have most of one...but normally i probably would have had 2.

going to bootcamp @ the gym tonight! always kicks my butt

keep on

i've realized how much planning relates to success.

its easier to say no to a cookie when you've brought an option (even though that option might  be a protein bar and totally NOT what you would prefer..)

and its also interesting to me how good it feels to eat healthy foods and NOT eat junky foods. not just the way your body feels but how you feel like a strong person. and it seems that saying no just a few times can make you say no later on because you've already put so much into it, so why screw it up?

its not that i think being thinner/toned will MAKE me happier. i do believe i will be more confident though. and that is a definite plus.

i always do better with losing weight when i have friends to motivate and encourage me...but the friends i have seem to stick with it for a while then drop off...and i honestly think i wouldn't if i had someone else to stick with it for more than oh...2 weeks?

which is why this website might be an amazing asset.

i just don't really know how to meet people on here...maybe that will be something i can work on. =)

i'm back!

after moving home and starting a new job and having a house with no internet....i kinda got off track with writing in here but it seemed to help before so i'm gonna try it again!

i started body for life and have noticed better muscle tone so i've actually GAINED a few pounds which is discouraging...

the most motivational thing happened to me last night. i tried on a bridesmaids dress that i'll be wearing at the end of next month...and it wouldn't zip all the way up!! soo scary. i am about to start my period and my boobs always swell up a LOT...but i know i've gotta lose weight. i'm tired of just wishing i'd stick with it.

its time for change!

yeeeah

i'm back!! i've been really busy over the last month. i turned 22 and graduated college! it was just too much to try to keep up with this. i've maintained my weight if not lost a pound or 2. i'm not really sure but i will be keeping up with this more consistently for sure!

.

did great yesterday and today! i'm following the "wendie" plan. its where you eat minimum range one day, average range the next, minimum the next, high the next. you vary it so you keep your body guessing on how much it will have to metabolize and it keeps metabolism set on "high"

i decided to take the job at home. its weird! but i'm hoping its the right choice.

a girl that graduated 2 years before me is trying to set me up with this guy and he is way too cute for me. i just don't feel like it's going to work out even though i wish it would. haha i sound so insecure and pessimistic. it just seems like these great guys pop out of no where but never work. who knows though. i'll give it a shot.

i took clinical boards saturday. SO SO glad they're over. =)

"obstacles don't have to stop you. if you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. figure out how to climb it, go through it, or walk around it." michael jordan

decline

why do i feel like giving up? if i could just eat healthy like i normally do without the few splurges i take (usually big ones) i know i'd lose weight

i truly want to! its just that i let stuff get in the way. i need to realize i'm stronger than cheeseburgers, icecream, and __________(insert tempting fattening food here)

i realize little tastes every now and then help you maintain your healthy eating style but i decide to take entire days off and it shows.

i'm in maintenance mode and i still want to be in losing mode.

i need some motivation! i guess i'll weigh in the morning and enter the number and try to get back to my original 5,10, and 15 lbs goals. i think i'm probably about where my 5 lb goal was from the beginning.

i just let stress, other people's meals, television commercials...etc. interfere with where i want to be.

basically it takes more than just eating healthy meals every now and then. i need to be consistant.

and also. why do i attract the clingy nerdy guys? i realize some amount of nerdiness is cute but not when they talk to you for 5 minutes about the fluctuations in the temperature in their apartments. no lie.

subway for lunch tomorrow! yum. i love it. going out to dinner tomorrow night w/ A so i'm going to get something light on calories.

wish me luck!!

hang in there everyone! it's worth it in the end.

easter

happy easter everyone!!

i've totally enjoyed some jelly beans today. which is so sad. i weighed 148 yesterday morning, but i went out and had a drink last night and a late dinner and it was 150 and i think i just got so frustrated i kinda gave up for a day. i totally want to keep losing weight its just hard because something always seem to come up where i don't know how many calories are in something.

i think i'm going to start writing down my points again tomorrow. i think it becomes more real when i see it in writing.

i'm addicted to LOST!

in a year, where will i be? i wish i knew.

job. stress.

i got the job!!!!

now the question is--do i want it? i don't know if i want to move back home! i'm sending out more resumes and if i don't hear anything within about 2 weeks, i'll accept the position. i just feel like my life will come to an end. i feel like i've met everyone i can at home. maybe this will be a good starting out job, though. to gain some experience and confidence.

i feel like i'll never get married and as bitter sounding as that is, it's just honest. i don't think i'm ugly or fat but i just feel like i'll never meet anyone who just clicks again. i've had boyfriends before that have but it just didn't work out because of timing in our lives. i don't know. AH.

i love when i come home because since i've been on my diet they're the ones that notice, since they don't see me every day. like 3 people have told me i looked skinny. i actually borrowed my friend's dress pants for my interview and they were a 4! they were a little tight but not too bad. i am aware that this doesn't mean i wear a 4 now haha. my easter dress is an 8, which isn't bad. just not where i want to be.

thinking about all the huge decisions i have to make just stresses me out! its like i have all these options but once i choose one i can never have any of the others again. and they all produce different outcomes. its just not a calm time in my life.

i have officially officially lost weight. i was 5 pounds less than when i went to the doctor last time, which wasn't that long ago.

i still need to lose more but i know it's do-able now.