10/27/2010 00:11
Unhappy Right Now :(
I am feeling quite upset right now. 
Not about my weight loss. I actually managed to lose a 1/2 pound despite everything I ate and did this past week. I will take that definitely! i was expecting a gain so even better to see a loss. 
What is really upsetting me and I am not even sure why I am getting so upset about it is I had ordered a custom hat made for my son whose birthday is today. He lives with is dad so got to call him and wish him a happy birthday. The hat came in today and I was really disappointed on how it turned out. I had picked a font I thought would be really cool looking for the letters I wanted on his hat. It turned out to be the wrong font. His hat was supposed to say ZZMAN which is what he likes to call himself for a username all the time. Well the font I picked out was cursive so the instead of the ZZ looking like regular ZZs they came out in cursive so it doesn't look very good. To me it looks like two capital EEs. At least that is what a cursive capital Z looks like to me. So I am very unhappy with it and cannot return it because it is custom made. So now I don't even want to send it to him because I am so worried he will not like it at all. I told him over the phone today that I had got his hat in the mail today. He knew he was getting a hat but just not what was going to be on it. I had told him in the past it was going to be custom made and unique. Now I personally don't like it at all but am stuck with it. It's too late to order a new one.
I suppose the only way I could salvage this is by ordering another one with better font for a Christmas gift. Then he wouldn't have to wear the one I got for his birthday if he didn't want to. I guess I am so upset because I was really looking forward to this hat and how it would turn out. He really likes to wear hats so I was really hoping for a great hat for him to wear that would be one of a kind. Well it is definitely one of a kind but not in the good way I had imagined. Who knows, maybe he will still like it but oh well, if he doesn't.
I guess I have to realize that not everything is going to go the way I had planned and to try and make the best of things. It is just hard for me to not be able to be there for his birthday. All 3 of my kids live with their dad about 6 hours away so not a quick drive for visiting. Most days I manage but there are days like today where it really hits me and upsets me that they don't live with me. I really miss them a lot! So I will try and not let these upsetting emotions lure me to eat just for comfort. I can feel myself wanting to go that route. I wanted to be comforted and what is the one thing I am thinking about.....FOOD! Well I will make sure I don't go to the store today. Can't eat what I don't have available to me.
Writing things out in this blog is actually helping me. I feel like I am venting things out which is helping me come to terms better with what is upsetting me. I actually do feel a little better. I think I will curl up on the couch and watch some great tv series. I love Netflix. Instant viewing of tv shows and movies right to my Wii. It is great and I would definitely recommend it to anyone! It is so worth $9 bucks a month.
Before this turns into a book, I will stop typing now...lol. So I have come to the conclusion that if my son doesn't like the hat then I can try and reorder a better one for Christmas. That way I get the hat I wanted him to have anyway and he gets another hat to add to his collection.
I hope everyone is doing good! Have a great week!
