Well finally I am starting to feel better. One of the major reasons is because I had a date night with JL on Friday and we had a great time. I think that was one of the reasons I was feeling so down was because he and I haven't had much quality time together. I was feeling so lonely and due to both of us having some outside issues affecting us we kinda pulled apart from each other. I mean basically we were not our usual selves. But Friday we got what we both really need which was some great quality time together. Just what the Doctor ordered! I also have been trying to encourage him to think about what he would like to do with his life career wise. He has been toying around with wanting to write a book and has started it so I have been trying to encourage him to pursue that. I know he will be unhappy later on in life if he doesn't really do anything with his life. Right now I don't think his current job is very fulfilling for him. I am hoping I will get through to him and he will want to work towards something that is going to make him happy.
I weighed in today just so I could see where I was at and to get back to weighing in on Sundays. I did actually gain a pound but I am okay with it because I knew it was probably going to happen with the way I have been eating and not really doing any exercise. So my goal is to see a good loss come next Sunday. Not a pound loss but hopefully a 2 pound loss. That is what I would really like to see! After all my mini challenge of losing 10 lbs by New Years Day is not going to happen until I take some serious action. I have started the day off pretty well with my eating. I had a small amount of oatmeal, a yogurt, and a cup of chocolate milk. I am trying out that chocolate milk suggestion. I figured it couldn't hurt as long as I added those calories in with my daily intake. I plan on making sure I get plenty of veggies and fruits this week along with plenty of protein.
I do have a food recommendation for those of you who like oatmeal and would like a more convenient portable package. Its called Better Oats Oats Revolution. It should be in the oatmeal section and it is a smaller package. You get 5 pouches in each box. There is only 160 calories in each pouch. It is quite filling for the amount you get. You actually get a nice amount of oatmeal. Plus it is so easy to use. You just add water to the pouch up to the fill line after you dump out the oatmeal in a bowl. Then you microwave for 90 seconds. All done and ready to enjoy. I have the Maple Brown Sugar kind and really like the taste. Plus it offers up some very healthy benefits.
So I am determined to make this work this week. I really actually learned something last night at work that I wanted to share with everyone. I thought it could really be applied to us with our weight loss struggles. One of the clients in our meeting last night was talking about how the only way he can overcome his need to drink is by taking it one day at a time. He cannot think ahead and say that he is not going to ever drink again or that he will not drink for the rest of the week. As he put it he has no idea what is going to happen that might bring him to drink. So the only way he feels he came make it right now is to just focus on one day at a time. He doesn't worry about tomorrow. He prays to the Creator (God) to help him make it through the day. The place where I work is a Native American rehab facility. Native Americans refer to God as the Creator. The gentleman speaking is a Native American. Anyone can seek help at this center though. It is not just for Native Americans.
My point in sharing this story is how what he said can apply to us. We don't know what is up ahead of us later in the week or even the month that might cause us to slip off of our plans. We don't even know what might happen tomorrow. But if we focus on just today, if we focus on what we eat today and what we do today, that much we can control for the most part. Then when we have a good day and succeed in what we wanted to accomplish we should appreciate ourselves for making it through the day. If we don't have a good day or it didn't go as we hoped it would, we should still appreciate ourselves for making the effort. More positive less negative!!! The next day we start all over again. That is all we can do is work on each day. I hope this helps. It actually really helped me, and I am going to try and apply it to myself. I think I have a better chance of succeeding if I do that.
I hope everyone has a great Halloween!! If the candy and treats get the best of you today, get back up tomorrow and try again! One day at a time, one step at a time!! (That is becoming my new mantra...lol)
I am not sure what has been going on with me lately. I feel rather depressed but not sure why. I mean I know some of the things that are getting me down but I don't think they are severe enough to explain the way I feel lately. Just the other day I had hit my head on the edge of my car door. Hurt like heck let me tell you. Normally that kind of stuff just makes me mad. I hate hitting my head period. At first I was upset but then as I went into the house to check on it, I started crying. I cried for quite some time. It was strange. It didn't feel like I was crying because I got hurt, it felt more like I was crying because of emotional issues. Then yesterday I was folding towels and listening to this one song by Enimen called "I love the way you lie" and started crying again. This time the song seemed to have trigged some past memories when I was with my ex-husband. Not sure where that came from though. It just hit me out of the blue. The relationship with my ex was not the greatest. A lot of abuse and stuff.
I guess maybe things have been just creeping up on me maybe and I have not really dealt with them. Plus I think I am lonely a lot. I don't really have many friends. I have one good friend but we don't get to hang out a lot much anymore. I don't really have any family other than my brother and we don't talk much either. Then again we never really did. Just the way it went I guess. Plus I guess I got spoiled with all the time I got to spend with JL when we were both off so now that we are both working we don't get as much time together. He is definitely my best friend and I love spending time with him.Today we are going to the movies. We are going to go see the movie "Red". It looks funny and we haven't really gone anywhere in a long time so we definitely need something different for a change of pace. I suggested a "Date night" because we haven't gone on a date for a very, very, long time. I thought it would be nice to finally go on one and a good way to reconnect with each other. He is looking forward to it and so am I.
Then there is the stress of trying to get caught back up financially after being out of work for the past 3 months. We are doing it slowly but surely but I am just starting to worry how we will cover Christmas shopping for the kids. Have to shop for 4 kids and I am not sure how the heck we will do that. I don't want to really rely on credit cards because that has caused more problems than solved in the past. I am trying to get my credit card debt under control. I am very close to succeeding. I cancelled quite a few of my cards just recently and am down to just 2 cards. I picked the 2 that had the lowest interest rate.
I suppose my weight too is a factor. It is always there in the back of my mind. I haven't worked out at all since I started my new job. I am more active but I wanted to actually work out too. I just feel like I don't have the time some days or when I am off, I don't want to do anything. Very frustrating! For the most part, I am at least watching what I eat, most days. I do pretty good on average with the occasionally slip up here and there. I spent all afternoon yesterday cleaning the house so at least that was some exercise. I am just worried if I don't get back to working out I won't do it at all. I don't want to lose the muscles I gained when I did work out, and I really want to get out of the 180s for good. I am tired of looking at it. I want to see new numbers like 170s for a start.
I decided to try and make a small goal for myself. I am a little nervous about it because in the back of my mind I am already gearing myself up for failure. Bad way to start I know. My small goal is this: I want to lose 10lbs by New Years Day. That gives me 2 months. I don't think that it is impossible if I really work at it. I think that it can be done and not be stressful on my body. I know you are not supposed to lose weight too fast but I don't think 10lbs in 2 months is too fast. At least I hope not.
Well that is what I am going to try for. Even if I don't quite make the full 10lbs I am hoping to get really close by New Years Day. I guess that means I need to get my butt in gear and get working out. It also means I need to pay closer attention to what I am eating. I really want to do this so I am hoping my mind and body can get on the same page and work together on this. Also I am hoping if I start working out maybe that will help lift me out of this weird funk I am in.
I hope everyone is doing well! Wish me luck! Hopefully by New Years Day I will be able to report a significant loss! Have a great weekend!
I received this article in my email the other day and decided to share it because it sounded interesting. I had previously signed up for some newsletters awhile back so one of the ones I get is an Eat This Not That newsletter. This article from Eat This Not That intrigued me because it had to do with chocolate milk and the benefits of drinking 3 cups of it a day. Supposedly according to the article it is very beneficial to you for losing weight. I won't go into the details because the article explains it better than I could. I am definitely thinking about trying it out. It certainly could not hurt and for sure I would be getting my chocolate fix everyday. I do love chocolate milk.
I am feeling quite upset right now. Not about my weight loss. I actually managed to lose a 1/2 pound despite everything I ate and did this past week. I will take that definitely! i was expecting a gain so even better to see a loss.
What is really upsetting me and I am not even sure why I am getting so upset about it is I had ordered a custom hat made for my son whose birthday is today. He lives with is dad so got to call him and wish him a happy birthday. The hat came in today and I was really disappointed on how it turned out. I had picked a font I thought would be really cool looking for the letters I wanted on his hat. It turned out to be the wrong font. His hat was supposed to say ZZMAN which is what he likes to call himself for a username all the time. Well the font I picked out was cursive so the instead of the ZZ looking like regular ZZs they came out in cursive so it doesn't look very good. To me it looks like two capital EEs. At least that is what a cursive capital Z looks like to me. So I am very unhappy with it and cannot return it because it is custom made. So now I don't even want to send it to him because I am so worried he will not like it at all. I told him over the phone today that I had got his hat in the mail today. He knew he was getting a hat but just not what was going to be on it. I had told him in the past it was going to be custom made and unique. Now I personally don't like it at all but am stuck with it. It's too late to order a new one.
I suppose the only way I could salvage this is by ordering another one with better font for a Christmas gift. Then he wouldn't have to wear the one I got for his birthday if he didn't want to. I guess I am so upset because I was really looking forward to this hat and how it would turn out. He really likes to wear hats so I was really hoping for a great hat for him to wear that would be one of a kind. Well it is definitely one of a kind but not in the good way I had imagined. Who knows, maybe he will still like it but oh well, if he doesn't.
I guess I have to realize that not everything is going to go the way I had planned and to try and make the best of things. It is just hard for me to not be able to be there for his birthday. All 3 of my kids live with their dad about 6 hours away so not a quick drive for visiting. Most days I manage but there are days like today where it really hits me and upsets me that they don't live with me. I really miss them a lot! So I will try and not let these upsetting emotions lure me to eat just for comfort. I can feel myself wanting to go that route. I wanted to be comforted and what is the one thing I am thinking about.....FOOD! Well I will make sure I don't go to the store today. Can't eat what I don't have available to me.
Writing things out in this blog is actually helping me. I feel like I am venting things out which is helping me come to terms better with what is upsetting me. I actually do feel a little better. I think I will curl up on the couch and watch some great tv series. I love Netflix. Instant viewing of tv shows and movies right to my Wii. It is great and I would definitely recommend it to anyone! It is so worth $9 bucks a month.
Before this turns into a book, I will stop typing now...lol. So I have come to the conclusion that if my son doesn't like the hat then I can try and reorder a better one for Christmas. That way I get the hat I wanted him to have anyway and he gets another hat to add to his collection.
Well not sure what my weigh in on Tuesday is going to bring. I am thinking not a loss as I would like to see. I am hoping if there is a gain it will be only like a 1/2 pound. I can handle that. I have been trying to watch what I eat but for example last night was a complete bust. I went over to a friend's house to watch a Pay-per-view event and ended up drinking quite a few beers. I had no intention of drinking mainly because I figured I was going to be the sober driver for me and JL but one of my friend's BF was sober and was willing to drive us home after. Well so much for not drinking. At least thankfully I don't make it a habit to drink. I usually try to stay away from it as much as possible. Way too many empty calories and half the time you spend the next day feeling awful. So not worth it.
Well I am not going to dwell on it. Can't undo the past so I am trying to focus on today and tomorrow to make them good eating days. I have to work midnight shift today and tomorrow so I am going to try very hard not to mindlessly munch all night due to boredom. I am going to try and keep myself busy with whatever I can and also pack up some healthy choices to snack on like yogurt and almonds. That way if I do actually get hungry, I will have some good options available. I also am going to try and make sure I get some water in too to help flush my system out. I am sure it needs it after last night..lol.
I am also going to try and get some exercise in too this week. I came across this book that I am thinking about getting but not sure yet. Mainly because it might be one of those too good to be true books. Prevention magazine is behind the book so I know that is a good magazine. Here is the website if anyone else might be interested in it. The book is called "Walk off the weight."
The concept makes sense with the interval training. Instead of running they are focusing on doing walking interval workouts. So I believe it can work but hate buying something then being disappointed. I did find out about it through an email where they offer a 21 day preview. If you don't like it, send it back before the 21 days are up. Easier said then done for me..lol. I am not always on the ball when it comes to returning things in a timely fashion. Well I think I will look into it further and go from there. Might be worth it. Never know.
I hope you all are doing great! Have a great week!
I found this website that I think is really helpful in figuring out portion sizes without having to measure. I like the items they used to help you visual the portion size. For example, 2 tablespoons of peanut butter is approximately the same size as a ping pong ball. I don't have scale as of right now so trying to measure out portion sizes can be hard sometimes for me. I thought I would post this in hopes that it helps others who might also be struggling with what a proper portion looks like.
Well despite not working out since I started my new job, I am some how still losing weight. I think it is mainly because I am more active compared to when I didn't have a job. It also helps that I have been eating less too. I am still trying to make sure I eat as many healthy foods as I can each day. Some days are easier than others but I keep trying. I am really excited right now because I am so close to finally moving into the 170s. I have been stuck in the 180s for many, many months. I got to experience the 170s briefly a few months back but didn't stay long. Right now I am about 2 pounds away from officially being in the 170s. I am really hoping to be there in the next couple of weeks for sure. Then I want to make sure I stay there. No board game "take 2 steps back" card for me...lol.
I wanted to take the time to let everyone know that they should take notice of the changes their bodies have gone through lately. What I mean by that is sometimes we get so caught up in the "numbers game" we overlook the different ways our bodies look and feel. I have been trying to zoom in on that more lately. I have noticed that my jeans are definitely getting looser which thrills me and it certainly feels good. I also noticed the other morning and this is going to sound weird I am sure, that there is a small gap between my thighs now when they are pressed together. I noticed it when I was drying off from the shower. Normally in the past when my thighs where pressed together they looked like they were trying to merge into one big thigh..lol. Now I can actually see a small gap forming. This is really cool because that is one of things I have always envied of the skinnier people when I looked at pictures of fit models was that gap they had between their thighs. I really want that for myself. Mainly because it would tell me that my thighs are no longer large and in charge.....lol. The other thing I have noticed too was how my hips feel. In the past, I could see the lumps under my jeans where my hips were. Now I see no lumps and they feel flat when I run my hands over them. That is a great feeling because I really hate lumps and bumps. They are not always flat everyday but most of the time they are. Depends on where I am at in the month (bloating...lol).
What my very long speech is trying to say is take the time to notice how different your body feels and looks. I know we have lost weight even if we are struggling right now, so I know everyone's bodies have changed somewhat. Look for those changes whether they are small or big. Revel in them! Enjoy them! You worked hard for those changes so why not enjoy them! So that's it. That is my wise wisdom for the week...lol. I hope everyone is doing well, and I hope you all have a great weekend!! Love your body!! We can do this!! Hang in there!
Well I am still trudging along with my new job. Just got done with 3 midnights. I really don't like midnights. The job itself is not hard. Its the going against our normal human sleeping at night nature that really stinks. At least so far my boss only schedules me for 3 in a row. I am very glad for that since 3 is about my limit of how much I can take. I am getting a little frustrated with myself because I have fallen off the wagon to a certain extent. I didn't fall off massively thank goodness but I have stopped trying to eat as healthy as I did before. I used to try and eat good things on my midnights shifts if I got hungry. Now I am grabbing whatever is handy at work. The other night I had 2 doughnuts. So not helpful and not healthy at all. Bad thing to eat as it is and doesn't do much good for my system when I am on midnights. All that empty calories and sugar. There is a yogurt in the fridge at work that I had brought in. It is still sitting there. Shame on me. I should be eating stuff like that at night if I end up hungry. Not stupid bagels and doughnuts. So I have decided it is time to get my butt back in gear. Time to say no way to junk and pointless munching. I have noticed I am not trying as hard to combat my mindless eating. Boredom munching is horrible. I need to fight it like I was doing in the past.
There are these pair of running shoes I can't wait to get. I want to actually try running at least on the treadmill at first. Unfortunately due to no money and the cost of the shoes, it is going to be awhile before I can get them. I did get my magazine that I subscribed to the other day. It is called Women's Health. It sometimes has some good workouts or tips in it for weight loss. There was a couple of good workouts in there this time. One I could do right away but the other one requires you to have a Pilates ball. Not sure how much one of those cost but hopefully not a lot.
It is a gorgeous day out there today. I really should get my butt in gear and go rake some leaves up. At least that is somewhat of a workout. According to Self.com calorie calculator, I can burn up to 372 calories raking leaves for an hour. That is not too bad and at least I can get outside and enjoy the day. All I know is I have to do something or I am going to end up right back where I started and all the effort I did in the past will be for nothing. I can't stand it anymore. All that wasted effort to go basically nowhere. It is such a waste of time. I have to keep going. I have to work on this one day at a time. I got my weigh in day coming up and not looking forward to it. I switched my day to Tuesday now since that is the day I have been weighing in for the last couple of weeks. Well it is only Sunday so that leaves me at least the rest of this day and all of tomorrow to see if I can hopefully not gain any weight at least.
I hope everyone is doing well! Good luck to you all! I hope you are having a great week!!
Ok is it just me or is anyone else frustrated with those stupid character letters we have to type in when we want to make a comment on someone's blog. I know you can just keep searching through them to find one that looks like it is the easiest to type in but I have had quite a few encounters where I thought it was easy then BAM! all my comments were gone because I didn't enter it correctly. Personally I don't quite understand why they can't just keep your comments and make you just enter new characters. Oh well, just wanted to rant a little about it...lol. Rant is over now..lol.
Well thankfully work didn't go as bad as I thought it would yesterday. The clients were not mad at me. I guess some of them were upset because they were unaware they had been written up. That is my fault but only because I really didn't quite understand that whole write up process as it is and finally spoke with another unit manager yesterday and had it explained to me better. I spoke with the clients at one of our meetings and apologized for the confusion I created and explained to them how the whole write up process works to make sure they understood as well. They ended up going on their outing which was good. It was a very beautiful day so glad they were able to get out and enjoy it. Right now I am feeling frustrated at my job. Mainly because I feel my training was a bit lacking and now I am trying to feel my way through it all which really sucks. Plus the whole write up thing has me a bit overwhelmed because I have never had a job where I have had to do that. I know it will get easier as time goes on but I really hate feeling out of my element. Until I get the hang of things, it will be a rough period for me. I think I am going to talk to my boss about my frustrations on Monday if I can. See what advice she can give me. Plus I work with another Unit Manager on Monday who I like talking to. He has been there for 13 years so I know he will have some helpful advice as well. I think after talking it out I will start feeling better.
In the meantime, my work outs have pretty much came to a halt. I am not sure why I can't seem to get back to them again. My schedule is out for the rest of the month so it is not like I don't know what I am working. I think I will have to ease myself back into it again and set small goals for me to accomplish each week. My stomach has been on the fritz lately. I think I might have gotten a hold of a stomach bug with the way I have been feeling. Hopefully things will get back to normal here soon.
I hope everyone is having a great weekend! Take Care!
I have to leave for work soon but wanted to post a quick note expressing some nervousness I had about going to work. I worked a midnight shift on Thursday where I got done at 8am on Friday morning. Well some of the clients were going back to bed after they had signed in for the day. I had to write them up so I am worried they will be mad at me. They were supposed to get an outing today and that was to be decided on Friday. So now I am worried my write ups might have cost them their outing. I know I was just doing my job and they honestly did it to themselves because they definitely knew better but it just sucks to have to be with them for 8 hours if they are mad. I have to admit this is one of my weaknesses is that I don't like people being mad at me. It is something I have to work on I know especially if I want to keep working there. So I am filled with dread about going to work which is making me mad because I didn't do anything wrong and I hate feeling this way. ARGHHHH!!! I really hope one day I can get over this worrying about dumb stuff. Well off to work. I will try and post how my day went later. Hopefully it goes good but if not, at least I have a place I can go vent about it. Take care everyone! I hope you are all having a great day and weekend!!
I also have been trying to encourage him to think about what he would like to do with his life career wise. He has been toying around with wanting to write a book and has started it so I have been trying to encourage him to pursue that. I know he will be unhappy later on in life if he doesn't really do anything with his life. Right now I don't think his current job is very fulfilling for him. I am hoping I will get through to him and he will want to work towards something that is going to make him happy. 
After all my mini challenge of losing 10 lbs by New Years Day is not going to happen until I take some serious action. I have started the day off pretty well with my eating. I had a small amount of oatmeal, a yogurt, and a cup of chocolate milk. I am trying out that chocolate milk suggestion. I figured it couldn't hurt as long as I added those calories in with my daily intake. I plan on making sure I get plenty of veggies and fruits this week along with plenty of protein. 
For the most part, I am at least watching what I eat, most days. I do pretty good on average with the occasionally slip up here and there. I spent all afternoon yesterday cleaning the house so at least that was some exercise. I am just worried if I don't get back to working out I won't do it at all. I don't want to lose the muscles I gained when I did work out, and I really want to get out of the 180s for good. I am tired of looking at it. I want to see new numbers like 170s for a start. 
Not about my weight loss. I actually managed to lose a 1/2 pound despite everything I ate and did this past week. I will take that definitely! i was expecting a gain so even better to see a loss. 
I hope everyone is doing well, and I hope you all have a great weekend!! Love your body!! We can do this!! Hang in there! 
There is a yogurt in the fridge at work that I had brought in. It is still sitting there. Shame on me. I should be eating stuff like that at night if I end up hungry. Not stupid bagels and doughnuts.