I'm just not managing this very well at the moment. But it has to stop. I need to get back on the wagon. I think not being weighed for ages has messed me up, because trying seems futile when i don't know what i weigh. I know that doesn't make much sense. Oh well. And i have had tons of pain in my neck this week - since sat morning i literally have hardly been able to move it. So i haven't been able to excercise. Tai chi on wed made it loads worse! But today it seems waaay better so i'm determined to get moving again.

Here's the plan...

Tomorrow...we'll be going to the pub to watch rugby in the afternoon, so i am going to go to the gym in the morning. And i think we plan to share some nachos at the pub, which i will guesstimate at 10 points. We've got lots of veg in so i can work my points around it and still have a filling tea.

Sunday - gym again! And stick to points.

Monday - Stick to points!

Tuesday - go to weigh-in at lunchtime. It will be BAD but at least i'll know what point i'm at and i can move on from there. And i'll do step and combat in the evening which is a good start to the week.

On thursday night we're headed up north to visit my folks until sunday. But i'm determined to stick to my points. It will be a challenge but i can do it. I just need to plan and be sensible. I need this first full week back on the plan to go well, so i know i can do it.

I stuck to it last night and ate nothing after the cake. Mmm cake. Planned my second piece into my points today. Here's the plan...

All bran (2), light soya milk (1), 2 ww naans (3), fried mushrooms (1), carrot cake (7) and hot chocolate (0.5), tea will be something involving a huge pile of asparagus, carrot and brocolli, and a veggie burger or grill or something.

So...i was on 14 points so far for the day (previous post was a plan), and got home at 8pm. B had bought carrot cake. I genuinely would count carrot cake as one of my favourite foods in all the world! Damn! So I worked out the points for a slice (7), and i've just eaten it. And now i've stopped. Nothing else for me tonight! Now yes, i realise, cake is not a sensible evening meal choice, but i am proud that i dealt with the situation and i'm still in my points, rather than freaking out, getting miserable and going "fuckit" and going way over my points. So that is progress. If i could be arsed i would have some veggies but now i've had cake, it's pretty late and i'm happy just to stop eating for the day. The rest of my day was healthy and included lots of fruit and veg, so all round not a bad day.

:o)

I'm not going to lie, days one and two went wrong. Oh dear. Seems i need to aim for smaller steps! Now my aim is to keep to it for the next 3 days. Feeling positive.

Food:

Oats so simple (1.5), almond butter (1), light soya milk (1), raisins (1)

2 satsumas (0.5), special k breaks (1.5)

Innocent veg pot (4.5)

nakd bar (2), 2 more satsumas (0.5)

4 quorn dippers (2), asparagus and carrots (0)

Total:15.5

Will update this plan later.

Hoorah! 100% yesterday and doing ok again today. It feels good to be back in control and I intend to keep it this way. Unfortunately my ww attendance is a bit crap at the minute. I missed a weigh in because i just didn't want to go, then missed this week coz i was ill, and next week i am in birmingham training so won't be able to go. Bugger. But i am going to be 100% on plan until i next get weighed, which will be the 25th.

This weekend is a bit tricky, as we (probably) have friend visiting. B is making fajitas tonight, so i am going to be sensible and count all points involved, and avoid the exciting things like guacamole and salsa. I'm going to have toast when i get home at 16.30 so that i'm not ravenous when it comes to tea time. Tomorrow night we have a table booked at a lovely place but i'm having no starter, and making a sensible main course choice.

Woohoo it's friday! And Guitar Hero World Tour should arrive soon!!

Hey Rais! Re-read that quote i posted last week about yesterday...it's a good 'un when you've had a wobble. Well done for getting back on track. KEEP OFF THE SCALES!!! Seriously. Mine live in B's boot because i needed them out of the house! That should be one of your blog things - like under your total syns it should say "times used scales" or something, and there should be a lot of zeros missy!! There you go, i've told you off. Finished now. Have a lovely weekend :o) xx

On sunday i got ill with this bloody horrible coldyfluey thing which completely knocked me sideways. One minute i am happily playing on the xbox, the next i feel like i might die. Meh. So i was off mon and tue, and i'm back at work but still feel like arse. But i am more able to function as a normal human now. My whole body hurts! So strange! But i think lying at home feeling sorry for myself was making me feel worse. Being ill is so crap  - having time off work but not being able to enjoy it because you're ill. SHIT! Ho hum...hopefully i will be 100% better soon...

Foodwise i have gone insane. Not been on the plan AT ALL and i can't blame it on being ill, because i was eating like a mad person before then.

Counting points and being good today. Hopefully i will make it through a whole day! I just need to get back in the swing of things, and get a few good days under my belt.

I like that i am able to come on here and write positive posts at the minute. I think it's so important that i record the times when i'm doing good, and proud of myself, so i can read them back in times of shitness and remember it's not always so hard.

SO. Yesterday was a good day! I ended up on 25 points (by eating a bit of cheese while waiting for my tea to cook), but it's all good. As i wrote in my post last night, i have come to a conclusion about cauliflower. Back to brocolli for me!! I got it because i thought it'd be nice to have a change from carrots and brocolli when i have quick boiled veg, but it's crapola!! So...i had my tea and then didn't have anything after. I didn't want to go over my points any more, and it was late and i knew i'd be going to bed soon. So i just stopped. No mad bingey behaviour, nothing. Hoorah for me.

I'm chilling out tonight, and sorting the house out. I've got sweet pot chips planned and chocolate-shaped treat :o)

...is like brocolli but with much less flavour.

Hoorah. Feeling super positive today. Yesterday was great. I was 100% good with food, and i did step and combat. I worked extra hard in step and today my arms are killing me.

Today will be good too. Here's the food:

50g all bran (2), light soya milk (1), birthday cake brought in by colleague for my birthday which was weeks ago (5), malt loaf and light marg (3.5), pasta (4) and sauce (1.5), carrot and pepper sticks (0), trek bar (4.5), quorn burger (2), cauliflower and carrots (0).

That leaves me at 23.5, which is 2.5 points over, but i was 1 under yesterday and i can make up the rest this week no probs. The random birthday cake is to blame for this. Who cracks out birthday cake 6 weeks after someone's birthday?! Kind but odd!

B is away now until very late friday night, so i am all on my tod at home. I am sure i won't binge because i feel so great right now that i don't want to ruin it. And i don't want my next weigh-in to be rubbish. I am being super-organised with my food, and i think that's the key. I have tai chi tonight and won't get home until 8, so last night i cut up my carrots and cauliflower and put them in a pan in the fridge. Then it's all set up for me to cook when i get in. But yes, i do realise it's bordering on mental, that level of organisation!

That quote from yesterday has been going round my head. Brilliant.

Today will be a good day.