Changed my goal to the half way point, sort of

I changed my goal again. It is not my "final" goal, but it reflects more realistically the weight I hope to attain by losing 8-9 pounds per month by June 15, 2007. My final goal is 145 by the end of 2007. By breaking the goal in half by half of the year, I think--for me--that I won't feel it is so far away and seemingly, so unattainable.

I bought some more tops to help my style problems. I also got a new haircut. Layered and shorter with a lighter feel. I think it is more youthful and kind of brightens up my features than what I had going on before.

Stress

This week began with lots of stress. I volunteered to help a friend with her computer and did not really stop to think how stressed and anxious it would make me. I knew I could make it better but I did not realize that working with someone else's computer and working with my own are two very different projects. All turned out fine and the reason I am mentioning this is that stress is usually a path to "falling off the wagon." but I didn't. Paying attention is important. Monitoring, keeping track, being accountable to myself. Otherwise, self-sabotage! So far, I am able to maintain the positive outlook and stay focused and not slide into apathy and disgust.

Avoiding temptation of the chocolate kind--redo

I love chocolate, I know, you've heard that before. Today someone brought in those little Dove chocolates that are sooo easy to eat and eat and eat. But! because I am planning ahead I had already had a nice Lindt truffle as an "ender" to my lunch and I was satisfied--I had had a great hit of chocolate already. Also, part of the "french diet" is the--3 meals only--stipulation. So, I have made a sort of vow to myself that I will not eat between meals. I think it will be a major factor in my weight loss. More about that later.
When Connor was home this summer, I started the french (not really a diet, but way of eating, living, etc.) and lost weight while really enjoying what I DID eat.  And, when Greg came home and took over the cooking, I let myself gain it back again through inattention, mostly. So yes, I am right back where I started. That was discouraging.
HOWever, I have gathered up some courage from somewhere for trying again, and here I am. This blog will be a positive thing in the process.

MOTIVATION

Motivation comes from all kinds of places. I think it works best when it is a positive motivation rather than a negative one.
Negative: "I don't want to look like a matronly tourist for this cruise/trip."
Or: "I hate this fat! I hate seeing my reflection anywhere!"

Better: "I can tell the weight is leaving because these pants are definitely looser."
Better: "I feel so good knowing that I stuck to my plan for working out/getting exercise this week. And I feel good physically for moving my body more."

Anything sound familiar? One reason I believe that I have struggled with this weight for so many years is that I never really looked at it as a positive process. I was always viewing it with a negative attitude and a sense of shame. Especially  shame. Feeling ashamed that I had not lived up to my own expectations for myself and that there was something inherently lazy or broken in me that kept me from being the person I knew I was inside from showing on the outside.

I feel motivated by the goals I have set and by the small progress I have made so far. I feel positive. I have been here before, so to speak, to this place where the weight is coming off and I am able to keep my focus. I can use this website/weblog to help me "go the distance." I can look back at past attempts and see that somewhere and at some moment I lost my focus and my motivation or something. I need to stay aware and conscious this time. Staying positive is the magic key.

Couldn't wait

I lost another half pound. I know that is silly but I had to post it. I said I would only weigh in once a week, but this little half lb has me grinning.

The truth behind the numbers

From my tracker it appears as though I only lost a half pound. Truth is, just during this last week I gained back up to 217 and then lost back to 211. So I actually lost 6 pounds this week but they don't count and they don't show, not really. Arghh! Talk about getting nowhere! Good thing is I learned to pay better attention to what I am eating. And I didn't starve. And I can finally button my weekend jeans. this week will be better.
My immediate goal is to weigh 205 by February 5. I think I can get pretty close.

Style: No jeans to work this week.
Found a book called "Forever Cool" by Sherrie Mathieson. It is written mainly for baby boomers but I have seen some younger generation women (and men--it is written for both genders) who could definitely benefit from this book.http://www.sherr iemathieson.com/style_consultant/gallery2.html
This link shows some photos (before/after) from the book.

Changed my Goal

I figure that 8 to 9 pounds a month is a good target to strive for each month. I changed my goal to an earlier one, timewise. I felt that putting out the whole thing at once was pretty daunting. I have been 165 before and it was not a bad "look" for me. I could wear size 12 and 10 even, in some things---and it wasn't that long ago. But! it was before I began my present job of sitting for most of the day in front of a computer.

Clothes

I am wearing better cothes to work beginning on Tuesday, January 16. No jeans--unless it is a very laid back day or I am slim enough to wear a new, designer-type pair, in an outfit. My aim is less casual and a more stylish, more cared-for look. Polished and clean.

My first week of progress

Second try for posting this entry! I believe that this journal will encourage me to stay on my own side in this effort to lose weight and become the stronger person I know I want to be. I will be!