In a Good Space

So right now I feel in control. I feel my clothes getting a bit looser. Cravings are gone. Things are working: eating small, low carb, protein rich meals; walking at least 2 miles just about EVERY day. Still working at finding more time to do more weight training and more Pilates workouts. It is a good space though, and I want to stay aware what I am doing and why. So much of what we accomplish begins with how/what we think.

On track but slooow

Slow is better than not at all. It's been fun imagining wearing the clothes that I plan to get. I can use that visualization as a good motivator. I like buying and wearing clothes on this body and not being able to fit into the ones I have that I'd like to wear and the ones that I'd like to wear if I had them keeps me working at losing the extra blub.

Not much to report except I was starting to "freak out" a little bit with the body trying to regulate itself after stopping the BP medication that was not working. I talked to the doc today and he reassured me that stroking out is not imminent. I am glad! Now on to trying more of these positive visualizations and stuff like that. Along with the smaller portions, daily exercise, blah, blah, blah.

Beginning again or picking up where I left off, kinda

I had a good weekend of meeting the mini goals that I had set for myself. I needed to walk both days and I needed to do some pilates to get my muscles awake again. Had an hour-long work out Saturday afternoon. I'm pretty sore today. That is a Good Thing. Targeted the abs and arms since my legs get much more exercise from walking and stair-climbing at work.

Eating went well, also. Essentially ate the equivalent of only 2 meals each day. That sounds wrong as I write it, but I "grazed" a little through the days. Working on preparing stuff to eat for the week ahead of time and still controlling the salt intake. Still not too difficult.

Have a great week!

First, the good news...

I am not much for going to the doctor as I have mostly been a well person my entire life. However, I am being treated for high blood pressure--something due to my DNA I'm told--and yesterday I visited the doctor who gives me his medical school educated opinion about the treatments available and so forth. I found out that the second medication we have been "experimenting" with had slowed my heart rate down too much. That fact explains a lot about the lethargy and the weight gain I have experienced this summer! For about 4 months I have been living with the metabolic rate of a python (there is a record of one who did not eat for 23 months!!) I am now off that medication.

The rest of the good news is that I will probably get more out of my workouts and I will feel more like doing them in the first place. It is very good to know that there was a reason why I felt like a slug.

The not-so-good news is that I now have to maintain a 2000mg sodium diet. (A teaspoon of salt contains about 2300mg sodium.) But, hey, I'm pretty good at reading labels by now. I learned that one of my favorite salad dresssings is pretty loaded with sodium.

Actually, this is all happening at an opportune time for me since I had already been planning to come back here and utilize the parts of Extrapounds that had proven helpful to me in the past. This blog is the main thing.

Blogging here mainly does 2 things: helps me keep focused and it helps me stay accountable. I know that there really is no reckoning or judgment if I fail or don't quite make a goal. I realize that I am really the only one I need to be accountable to. Still, it feels like--since anyone may read this--that I want to report some successes. I know that my sister was stopping by now and then and so was a close friend. They may or may not have lost interest during the hiatus and that is OK. I know that they are hoping for a good outcome for me as I do for them in anything they do.

So, not only am I eating lower sodium, I am getting back to the South Beach/lower carbohydrate way of eating. I hope that with a return of energy after now getting off the medicine that was slowing me down, I will be able to add back some strength training and more pilates. I have missed that. More about the plan that will fit more of that exercise into my daily life in the next post.
 

It is never too late

I find myself very interested in stories about women just a few years older than me (or more) who are doing interesting and active things: making the trek to Machu Picchu in Peru to hiking the Chilkoot Trail here in Alaska and Canada. I'm paying attention because these women are showing me that I need to believe that I can be doing things that women of the previous generation (to me) rarely thought they could or should be wanting to do (at their age).

I am inspired and motivated. This weekend I cleared some space to further encourage myself to meet my own goals--the same goals I've held all along. I still believe in them and I feel ready to continue now what I started before: getting stronger and fitter for the rest of my life.

Did you miss me?

I missed being here. I found out something: it helps to come here and write about what is working and what is not.

Is working: the challenges (see below) which means lots of walking.

Not working: eating too much and moving too little.

I am back up to 195. I have been eating more or less mindlessly. I am not sure exactly what happened--I mean--how I lost my focus. But that is how it feels/felt. Me = out of focus.

I have not lost the thread entirely. I never felt that I had. Just a sort of side track I went down for awhile, I guess.

Anyway, I wanted to get back here and write about it and see if this helped focus me some. Whether it does or not, we will find out together.

Challenges

I am participating in the President's Challenge and WOMAN Challenge. The first  through encouraging emails at work and the second by my sister. I like these because they act as a kind of insurance for getting me moving when I could just as easily blow it off more often than I actually mean to. I mean to do more than usual this summer. Let's see if I can do more without the prod of an outside challenge but just because I want to give this to myself.

A kind of strength

Seems like every time I get stuck I want to wait until I get the weight moving off me again before I write here. Probably, that is the opposite of what I should be doing. I was shocked a little to see just how long ago I had written here last.

I am feeling more in control of my body lately. I feel confident that I will be reporting a loss soon. Don't want to sabotage things by making an exact prediction of time and date, though. I just want to report a feeling of confidence. Feeling confident is important to losing weight because that determines how I approach eating and exercising. Maybe that is obvious to say, but I think it is so important to believe that what I do next is what is best for me to do. I am befriending my body and I will not do anything to let it down, right? So, am I saying then that sometimes I can't be trusted with my own body? I mean, trusted to do what is best for it? No, that answer is no. I get tired, stressed and overwhelmed and then it all goes to hell. Sometime later, I get a little strength back and start again. And then again. I am happy that each time the backward slide is a lttle shorter and I am able to recognize the signs of it sooner and can avoid some of the more debilitating pitfalls that used to get me.

The Wagon

No, I didn’t exactly fall off the wagon, but I was leaning dangerously far out over the edge. Pulled myself back in later this week.

What happened: A mix of things. The primary one being the idea that I needed to stop eating so much chocolate with the express point of losing more weight quicker. Who among us, even though we may be fairly steadily losing weight, does not want to lose it faster? So I cut out ALL chocolate. I really should have known what would happen.

Two years ago now, I read in this book about “enders” – using a little bit (4oz.) of very good dark chocolate to end a meal in order to satisfy a need for a little something sweet. I really like dark chocolate. That is a major understatement. I am probably addicted to the stuff, especially Green & Black’s Dark Chocolate with Crystallized Ginger. Actually, this is the G&B bar I usually eat. But most dark chocolate will do in a pinch. As long as it is 60% cacao or more (but not more than 75% or it is too bitter for even me!) it should not have much sugar content and if I don’t eat too much at once (the KEY!) it will not raise my insulin levels and cause cravings. The richness of the fat content in it helps me feel satisfied with a seemingly small serving size.

So I told you all that to explain why it did not work last week when I stopped eating all chocolate. In the attempt to find a replacement since I cannot seem to be disciplined enough to have just lunch or just dinner without a “little something” to look forward to at the end I sort of ate in a flailing-around fashion trying to get fixed. Eating this and that while trying for that rich satisfaction that, for me I guess, only chocolate will fill. And I gained 4 pounds in the process.

It also did not help that we were THIS close to Spring when we dipped back into very cold, icy and snowy winter last week as well. I guess we were acting a little smug or something. Winter had to show us. Anyway, I am happy to report that that was only a last hurrah for Winter. Today it is bright and sunny and we are relatively warm. Spring and green will happen soon.

Now I am back to having a bit of chocolate at the end of a meal and the scale is reporting drops in weight already. I can be disciplined as far as meting out treats, but there has to BE treats. No austere and strict eating methods will work with me. I know that to be the truth about me. I just have to stay mindful of what works for me, and what does not.
 

Unexpectedly it's 188!

Wow! I accept, I accept! I haven't had a jump down like this in awhile and it feels really, really good. I just need to remember what I learned about warnings and heed this dip into the 180's as a sign to be extra careful and that there is nothing that needs celebrating. Not yet. Note to self: just be happy and keep going this time, ok?

On to the next thing. Nine days until the final weigh-in for the Trim to Win. I have lost some weight but I will not meet the goal of 15 pounds lost and I never expected to win anything, but I just want to follow through with it, so I will go weigh in, I guess.

I do expect to have an easy-going week at work. At least it will be a short one. I am off work until Wednesday.

What have I been doing differently that has spiced up the weight-loss? Two things, nothing earth-shaking. Eating less, not finishing everything if I feel satisfied enough or only eating 2 meals on weekends = brunch and dinner by 5:30 to 6:00PM. Also, walking a little farther and a bit faster. It's the basic stuff.