Eyes Wide Open

Not sure yet.. thoughts during the weightloss battle i suppose!

My Profile

  • Name: Wykitt23
  • City: Crest Hill
  • Region: Illinois
  • Country: United States

My Weight Loss

Height: 175.3cm
Start weight: 251.00lb
Current weight: 244.80lb
Goal weight: 200.00lb
Lost to date: 6.20lb
Remaining: 44.80lb

My Calendar

31
October '14
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My Photos

Before After

Fourth Day..

The battle of tempation is the worse.. Although i have been able to overcome it for the past 4 days.. Even had to stop in at a chicken place for a co-worker and did not order anything for myself.. I have bought a lot of healthy alternatives and have them here and ready to eat.. best thing is, I have learned if i keep myself full, i am not tempted Nearly as much as if I am hungry! Speaking of which... I am hungry lol!!

The Bad News- I had One piece of pizza tuesday morning, i should have thrown it out right away.. because when i woke up it was screammmming my name. That was my one and only fall back, and sure i felt guilty for a few hours but i didnt let it ruin me at all..

TOM is COMING!!!! SOON!!!! Oh well, when i hit week 2 and i weigh in, the bloating will be gone already heheh Yay for me!

 

Do you know we are bloated and weigh more 2 weeks out of the month.. i mean how unfair is that that only 2 weeks out of the month we can accurately weigh ourselves?

 

-Katie

Day One- Hour 7

Babyyyy steps.. I am sure most of you know how hard it is to make it through the first week.. I am using this blog to check in with myself, and keep myself in check.

I ate 3 eggs scrambled and 2 low carb wheat toasts for breakfast. I am very proud of this for the fact that i used to scramble up 5 eggs, so I am sticking to low carb and cut the portion size down a bit. I also drank my big glass of water.. which made me cringe.. that is why i am setting the starter goal of 3 glasses a day.. one down.. 2 excruciating (sp) glasses to go Lmao!

Today for dinner i have already started the sauerkraut and bratwurst for dinner (got 3 kids to think of too) But I am going to attempt to get to the store and pick up salad.. cut up 1 brat finely and eat a huge salad.. I am actually thinking of switching to vingarette dressing instead of my beloved ranch.. for some reason i think i actually Want vinegarette lol! So I am going for it (plus we all know how much more healthier it is)

My stomach hurts a little but i dont think it is hunger.. my kids have been going through the stomach flu and well either i am paranoid.. or they are passing the olympic torch of the puked to dear old mom!

ok time to relax a little before my next route.

A new start.. Again...lol (how many times have we said this)

So since my last blog I have refused to weigh myself and I am Re-starting my weghtloss battle and diet. I Will not weigh myself for 2 weeks of strict dieting, because honestly I am afraid of what the number on the scale will say. And I think that will depress me more than it did the other day when i put on a pair of my jeans and my belly was hanging over them A Lot more than it used to. So To save my own sanity, I just wont do it to myself. If I am going to be set and determined I have to "Feel" the weightloss in my clothes and in my movement.

I am trying a dose of h57 (hoodia and green tea extracts) with an 8  ounce glass of water in the morning and then a nother dose after work before dinner.. I do have a huge appetite.. but my main goal is to cut all carbs for at least 3 months (with the option of 20 grams a day)

If I did it for 2 years, why is it so hard now? What was that determination i had then, that i somehow lost? Actually, I started my diet when i met my ex fiance and ended it pretty much a month after he left me.. but now as i have mentioned before, i am about to hit my one year anniversary with the greatest man a live.. and he makes me feel beautiful and wanted every day of my life.. its me that hates me.

I found that this kind of support network was very needed last time, and i think i hide from it when i am failing.. which is probably why i havent logged in for so long, maybe because i KNow i dont weigh 244 anymore.. i am guessing i am at 260 or 255, I just feel it, and see the changes in my stomach.. luckily my gace hasnt changed much.. so i still retained Some of the weight loss i made 2 yrs ago.

Anyone else here on low carb? I am thinking about starting my morning off with some eggs and shredded cheese. Id love to meet other low/no carbers!

Argh!

Where is the point we lose control? Why do we have to fight every day in order to lose weight when so many out there are able to eat whatever they want? I am so tired of being fat.. it is all i can think about when i am not hungry, and when i am hungry i just think about how good it feels to eat. Then i feel fat and guilty after eating.. no matter what it is.

Sure i did the whole endulgance thing during the holidays.. but the holidays are over and i still find myself Wanting all the Bad stuff. Last night I wrote the word FAT on my arm.. hoping that everytime i want to eat i will see it and think before i eat.. but I am kidding myself.. Nothing is working.. A few years back I had all the determination in the world, but now i find myself needlessly gaining weight and not wanting to exit in this body anymore..

THIS SUCKS!!!

I dont know why but out of no where i just STOPPed losing and it feels crappy to still not be eating the things i want to and Not losing weight!!!

I do not know what is going on but i was doing really awesome the first week.. down 5 lbs then the weekend came and my body was like.. OH crap what was i thinking.. i need this weight for the winter =

So I am stuck and downhearted. I have not lost my will to lose weight and i still do not cheat on my low carb, but seems i hit a plateau before it even really started.

My goal is still 20 by xmas which is like right around the corner.

God it is so much easier to be motivated when you are excited to look at the scale.. now i despise it!!

Ok Im not quitting..

9-1-1

Ok where is the brigade to take this feeling of hunger away? I want to eat something so badly.. so i decided to eat a cheese stick sticking to my low carb.. and it was NOT enough.. i am seriously wanting a full blow Meal.. like a whopper or something and it is 2 AM.. I have been trying to drink and smoke and all i keep thinking about is how bad i want food right now.. I am sure you are thinkign umm 2am?? did you try SLEEP? lol ok guys you are right.. thanks for listening.. I am going to bed!

Virtual Weightloss Model!!! Neat!! and free!!

Click here

Grrrrrrrrr........

THIS>> WILL NEVER BE MEEEE... IDeal Weight GOD.. ACCORDING TO WHO???

 

Results

  Approximate BMI Categories: Body mass index (BMI): 36.4 Underweight = <18.5 Body surface area (BSA): 2.33 Normal weight = 18.5-24.9 Ideal body weight: 139 lb - 152 lb Overweight = 25-29.9 Lean body weight: 138 lb Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater
BMI Category:
Obese

You want to know what I HATE??

I hate when ever Anyone knows I am on a diet and losing weight.. they all come to me the minute they lose a pound..for no apparent reason.

I mean come on now, I am making a life change here and dedicating every minute to fight the struggles of wanting to eat SOOOO many things in large abundances.. i mean seriously people, this is an issue for me and truly an eating disorder that i have fought with for my whole life.. I feel guilty after i eat.

So back to the point.. my dad will call me out of nowhere and be like "Yeah me and shari are watching what we r eating, I lost about 10 lbs"

then you hear nothing for about 3 months while your STILL on your diet and you know they havent stuck to theirs and gained 15 lbs back...

I mean i dont know if i am making sense here.. but i dont want to hear about your accidental Non dedicated weight loss.. Dont make my hardship look easy.. please!!

So I have a friend who has also battled with her weight for years.. thing is, i never knew what it was to be skinny, i think i have been 200 for as long as i can honestly remember.. i was always a chubby kid-teenager-girl-woman.. but she KNEW what it was to be 120lbs in highschool.. ok maybe 140 but now at about 300 lbs.. i could not imagine what is going through her mind.. I mean Dont you want to be what your body has a potential of being? I could only wish i knew what it was like to live in a 160lb body for a few years..

So i have watched her diet here and ther.. i think the most she has ever lost is about 30 lbs and she always gains it back..

How come no one ever calls me and says.. yeah I gained about 20 lbs since i last saw you.. sure wish i had the dedication you have katie... lol yeah right!!!

I am really dreading and looking forward to my weigh in tomorrow morning.. please please PLEASE let me see a new Lower number tomorrow.. no whammies No Whammies!!!

Well regardless I am not giving up.. I mean with something so simple as adjusting what you are eating.. and Not having to work out (yet) and you lose weight.. Why Would i give up? and why arent more people doing it?

Im Scared..

Damn the weekend and Damn Boyfriends..

In 5 days I rapidly lost 5 lbs on my atkins/low carb regimen.. I have noticed above all how my eating habits have immensely changed..

One I do not eat nearly as much anymore.. I found myself last night sitting with a subway salad... Bored and not really interested to eat it fast but i enjoyed it slowly over about 30 mins time..

Two, I went grocery shopping today and did not buy anything for myself outside of my diet..but i did buy a few things to spice mine up such as frozen already cooked roast beef and chicken and also about 6 lbs total of fresh ground turkey.. which i like to eat cooked up either plain with cheese and a small amount of ranch dressing or throw it in a salad..

Now what i am scared about.. gah i know this is going to sound stupid but, My boyfriend and i went out to eat tonight.. at an italian restraunt.. i was very proud i did not touch the bread, i ordered the salad, and the antipasto appetizer.. my meal dish..stuffed round steak.. stuffed with breading and cheese, topped with a thin marinera sauce..

So the breading inside the stuffing has got me worried that maybe i screwed up on my Low carb Diet..

Although in the past I have had my days at the chinese buffet (on my diet still) where i would avoid all pastas, rices and sugars, but i would have the chicken and pork with breading and i never gained weight from those days.. so i am keeping my fingers crossed.

My boyfriend has also stepped up to help me watch the fat intake i am taking in aside from my carbs.. he promised to help me and I stopped taking it personal and started accepting the fact that it is pretty damn cool that he wants to be involved.. although he jokingly said he has set my goal weight to 150 (before i finally revealed my weight to the first BF EVER) then he proceeded to tell me that if i stayed the way i am now, he would still love me forever, but the reason he is encouraging me is for my health.. not just physical but mental health, because he has seen how my weight mentally takes a toll on me.. he said he wants me to get better.. and so do i!!

So my first goal is the 25lbs by xmas.. but ultimately id like to get about 50 lbs off and go from there... last time i got stuck at 220.. but i refused to exercise like a fool.. so this time when i finally hit 220 i am going to start working out and get my butt down to 200 and like i said.... Take it from there.

This blogging really really has helped me.. even if no one is reading.. i like the fact that i have a friend to turn to.. and getting these thoughts out of my mind and into reality helps me also get my weight loss PLAN out of my mind... And Into REALITY!!

 

So far so Good so it seems

Although my friend called me today and said guess what i am on a new diet, i was like WHOA so am i.. and i asked how long and she said 4 days. I was like oh wow, i have been on mine for 5 days. She said she lost 11 lbs and i was like WTF??

She said she is eating one bowl of sooup a day and chewing a lot of gum.. well i for one know that depriving yourself of meals is Dangerous.. and not having variety is Also dangerous.. it spells Potential Failure to me.. So I am not going to get Too jealous. Because I have known her for about 12 years now and her little diet kicks last At most a month lol! Damnit I should be more supportive.

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