Even though the scale is 189.4 this morning I'm in a positive frame of mind. On one hand it seems so simple--all I have to do is lose 30 lbs. and I would be at a healthy weight to maintain the rest of my life. I could wear the clothes I want to wear, feel the way I want to feel in my own skin, feel like I'm being more obedient to God treating my body the way I should instead of overindulging, be a positive role model for my daughters, feel better when I'm intimate with my husband, so many positive things in my life. I thought this morning how I've let this 30 lbs. stand in the way of all these things for four years now....its so ridiculous. Is bingeing and overeating that important to me?
I hate the way I feel in my clothes right now. I actually hate the clothes that I'm forced to wear because I can't fit into some smaller clothes that I have--ones that I bought when I was 170-175 lbs.
I hate beating myself up every Monday because I've overeaten the weekend before.
I hate that I'm preoccupied with food some of the time instead of spending time with my family. There is no food that is worth giving that up for. My children are going to be grown and gone one day.
I hate feeling spiritually lower than I should because I really feel that this is something that hinders me in that aspect.
I hate settling for this body when with a little gumption I can achieve one that is so much better and fitter.
I really have to conquer the overeating at supper and afterwards. That's when I usually throw caution to the wind and quit counting points. I'm going to have to busy myself with other things if losing this weight is a priority. Planning is definitely going to be a key to my success.
I have to workout in the mornings. I love the feeling that I get when I actually follow through and do it. I have a sense of accomplishment, success and positive vibes for the whole day. I deserve to be fitter and more toned!
I have been wanting that feeling that I had when I was so successful. Where did it go and how do I get it back? That feeling that no matter what I wasn't going to cheat and I was going to lose some weight every week. It comes with consistency and sticking to the program.
I love the feeling of waking up and not being able to wait to get on the scale because I know I've "been good" and will probably see the number on the scale go down.
I hate the feeling of waking up the next morning after overeating and feeling that once again I've sacrified my health, my body, and my mental health for the sake of overindulgence.
I think sometimes when I'm overeating, "Why do I do this to myself, I deserve so much better." So today with every decision I make as to what I allow to be put into my mouth to eat, I'm going to ask myself, is this something my body needs....
This weight loss journey can truly be broken down to one decision at a time. And all good decisions can lead to success.
I only had time for a 30 min. cardio workout this morning. I did Turbo Jam Fat Blaster. My weight was at 187 again this morning. My mini-goal is to be 185 by Aug. 15th.
I've gotta go to court with my MIL due to her keeping custody of my niece and nephew. My stomach is in knots!
Down to 187 this morning after seeing 190.2 yesterday morning. I got up and did Jari Love's Get Ripped and my arms feel like limp noodles. Hopefully I'll have time to get some cardio in this evening. I forgot how good I feel when I follow through and workout in the mornings.
Back up to 190 this morning. I knew it was coming, had to face it. I've got to STAY on program and make myself a priority.
Every decision is mine. The Lord will help me, all I have to do is ask for His strength. I will feel so much better physically, mentally and spiritually if I would just get rid of this 30 lbs. that is driving me crazy. I've done this for well over 4 years and I'm finally tired of it.
I got up and worked out. I did Jillian Michael's Cardio Kickbox. It was surprisingly easy. Tomorrow I'm going to do a weight workout, probably Jari Love. I'll have to get at it a little earlier due to school, I'll have to get in bed early. I can be at goal my Christmas, but gotta stay on the straight and narrow.
Feeling good about staying in control. I wanted to start back with morning exercise this morning but my back was hurting from physical work on the job yesterday. I took some ibuprofen so hopefully I'll feel better this evening. The old gray mare ain't what she used to be....at 37 sometimes I feel like 77.
The scale is at 185 this morning, down from last week's high of 189. Hopefully after a few more OP days I'll be back down to what my tracker says! LOL
Today's day #3 and I'm doing pretty well considering all the stress....
My computer of 7 faithful years crashed at work Monday, no hopes of retrieving anything....then I had to come home and call to see if I was supposed to report for my federal jury duty. Its put off until later this month....School starts tomorrow, had to get backpacks ready. We had company until just about an hour ago with everything to do I don't have time to overeat! A woman's work is never done!
Need to get in bed, didn't have a chance to get the girls' clothes ready for school.
No more chips, ice cream, snack foods, etc. without portions or counting....what have I been doing? Sabotaging myself! I've "allowed" myself to overeat way too long and I'm finally sick of it. I'm tired of giving up my goals for myself (weight, fitness, etc.) just to overeat. I feel so much better when I'm 100% on plan. I'm putting my plan back into full effect and do what I have to do to move forward instead of spinning my wheels.
I got a couple of books that I ordered from Amazon yesterday about overeating and the plan is when I'm tempted, I'm going to pick up one of those books. When I started this blog I was posting something everyday and guess what...I was more successful when I made a point to do it. When you don't see me blog for a few days...I'm not doing well.
So here's to.....Recommitment day #1 of a very, very long string of on-plan days!
I got my rear up at 5:30 a.m. this morning and did 30 min. on the elliptical listening to my ipod! This is the first morning workout in weeks....and it feels good. I laid in bed and thought how crappy I would feel about myself if I reset the alarm and didn't get up. I want to be different, I want a thinner body. And to achieve that, I've got to embrace the things that are going to help me get there...its that simple. Today is day #1 of cutting out my sugar again. I remember how good it felt not to have the cravings. After 3 days last time my carb cravings stopped. Now I just have to make it through 3 days....AGAIN!!
We've had a wonderful revival at church this week. We've saw many needs be met and one precious 12 yr. old boy gave his heart to the Lord and got saved! He wants to be baptized Sunday morning. We've still got another service tonight with some special singers. It was pouring rain last night and the deacons met us at our car with umbrellas. Can't beat that!
Well, during this week, I've grabbed convenience foods due to not having time to cook. I've eaten everything including chips, ice cream, pizza. Today I'm back on plan....I've only had a protein shake so far and it feels good to have control. The jeans I'm wearing are tighter than usual, I suspect I'm back up to 188 or so. Starting Monday morning I'm back to my morning workouts too. Its going to be tough, and when school starts Aug. 3 I'll have to get up an hour earlier than that. So that's why I'm aiming for this Monday so I'll be in the habit by the time school starts. I'm also going to suck it up and weigh Monday morning too.
I was perusing Amazon this morning and wound up order three weight-related books. I bought Love To Eat, Hate To Eat; 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful on ANY Diet Plan; and Life Is Hard, Food Is Easy: The 5-Step Plan to Overcome Emotional Eating and Lose Weight on Any Diet. Hey, I figured any tips or ideas would definitely help. I can read them and re-sell them on ebay afterwards.
