Being more positive

In my attempt to be more positive instead of so negative about gaining some weight back I've decided to look at it like this....

In 2000 after I had my DD I was at an all time high weight of 285 and then proceeded to get down to 175 (never got to my goal). Instead of saying I've gained back 35 lbs. I'm going to look at the positive side and say I've maintained a 75 lb. loss for over 7 years!

I'm so glad I decided to get back to losing weight, getting to my goals, and being the weight I want to be though.

Day #6-I survived first weekend on plan!

I'm quite proud of myself for making it through the weekend without overeating. I usually sleep until 6 a.m. and got up at 5 this morning. Very unusual for me on a Monday morning!

We marinated chicken breast last night for cooking on the grill today, so I've got supper taken care of--I just need to plan my day. I really haven't been planning and as a result eating too many non-nutritional snacks (too many 100 calorie snacks!) instead of incorporating the calories into my meals. I read a post on the WW board about people that have weight loss success only attribute 75 calories per day to sweets.

I felt a need to overeat after coming home from church service--our pastor of 1 1/2 years, a Godly man I've know ever since my husband and I were saved, announced that he felt the need to leave the church. He'll be leaving at the end of the month. I recognized that if I did overeat, it would be because of the sadness. I allowed myself to cry, talked to my husband and told him how I felt. I was weepy all day. It was definitely hard when we went back for the night service. I felt tears falling (you know when you try not to cry but it comes anyway). I know he's following God's direction and it will be good for the church after a point, but the transition will of course be hard. I've been in church for 9 years and have had four pastors. Each one has been very different, but I've learned something from each of them. My husband was closer to this pastor than any other, they talked several times during the week about scripture, encouraged each other, etc. God helped our pastor to strengthen us--he definitely will be missed.

Day #4 of recommitment...so far so good

I'm feeling very confident, strong, very sure of myself and my goals. I forgot how good it feels to do what I'm supposed to do. I really feel in-control and capable of doing this.

Went grocery shopping and stocked up on good stuff like fruits/vegetables, 100-calorie snacks, frozen chicken breasts, etc. Food Lion had their Lean Cuisins and WW meals on sale so I picked up several of those. The other day we had bought a Pur water filter for the kitchen sink (instead of buying bottled water) so today I picked out a 32 oz. water bottle.

I'm hoping to lose a couple of pounds a week--right now I'm going to shoot for being below 200 by my Feb. 13th wedding anniversary and 189 by my March 19th birthday.

Biggest I've been in a long time...

 Godsglory emailed me this morning and after touching base with her, I decided to punch up the site. It had been a long time, I think since May and of course my weight was way up. I've tried several diets, ways of eating since then such as Medifast, Nutrisystem, etc. and the truth is any of them will work--IF YOU STICK TO THEM! Consistency is definitely the key. I read an article in a magazine last night about keeping a food journal and keeping a calorie log. I know that's what they do on Biggest Loser. I'm just getting over a sinus infection and definitely need to get back to working out. When I was working out was when I felt the best--physically and mentally. 

Did anyone watch the Dr. Phil New Year's resolution show where he talked about different levels of commitment? You can either be interested in something or committed. If you're committed its just a matter of time until you get to your goals. And how many of us are just interested in losing weight? All of us like the idea of losing weight--its putting all the things you need to do into action that gets us. And he also talked about there is no such thing as motivation.

I really didn't see any familiar bloggers...I can't really talk though since I haven't been around since last May. I guess I'll have to read a few and get back connected. We all need all the support we can get.

I'm definitely tired of making excuses, tired of feeling crappy and sluggish, tired of wearing what I call my "fat" clothes, tired of not feeling the way I should about myself, just TIRED.

Here's to recommitment....

Day #3 of recommitment

My recommitment is going well. I know with each day that goes by, I'll be that much stronger. Something that has helped me focus is journaling. I noticed while I was waiting for DH to get home yesterday I automatically went to the kitchen. I wasn't hungry, I just wanted to eat something. The kids had some Pringles on the bar and I picked them up and realized if I ate some I would have to count points for them and put them back. I picked up my journal and wrote until DH got home. I diverted my impulse to eat! Sometimes I don't even realize I do it. I've committed myself to not eating anything after 7 p.m. I had re-read a portion of the Bob Greene book talking about how it helps to have a cut-off time.

Definitely time to recommit for good

I realize that I've really not forgiven myself for gaining some weight back. Everytime I look in the mirror I hate the way I look and feel like a failure. I've got to realize that I'm only human, but at the same time, I'm the only one that can do this for myself. I take responsibility and am ready to take action! I want the best life possible for myself and I believe that it will be better for my physical, mental and spiritual self to lose about 30 lbs.

I won't starve, I won't die, I won't even be uncomfortable. I know after 3-4 days, it will be almost automatic. With every good decision I will be that much stronger. I won't get discouraged. I've done it before and I can do it again. I need to do this for my health and for my vanity. I do not want to be a fat Mom and wife. I want to be the best I can be.

No food is worth giving up on my goals. I felt absolutely horrible yesterday. I felt so heavy. Scott rubbed my back and I could feel the fat moving around. I felt awkward and kept tugging at my shirt. Nothing really helps when I do it and I know that. My back was absolutely killing me when I woke up this morning. I know the weight is a major factor. With every pound I lose it will help.

Today's the day-I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm ready to love myself!

Reading a book...

I bought a book that I'm in the process of reading and so far its a lot different than any other "diet" book I've read. Its called Beck Diet Solution and it focuses more on the Cognitive Behavior Therapy techniques to help you lose weight and keep it off - for once and for all.

Actually it doesn't even tell you what or how much to eat. It encourages you to choose a diet plan of your own and incorporate the techniques with any plan.

Doctor Beck states: "If you want to lose weight and keep it off permanently, you need to take every opportunity to strengthen your resistance muscle and to weaken your giving in muscle" (29).

And "eating begins with a trigger" (Beck 29).

Beck identifies 5 triggers on page 29: environmental, biological, mental, emotional, and social.

These trigger stimulate our desire to overeat or to eat something that isn't part of our weight loss plan.
Recognizing these triggers is key.

Some of my answers on my Advantages Response Card:
1. I want to be a role model for my daughters.
2. I don't want my weight to always be a struggle--I want to be successful.
3. I'll look better.
4. I won't feel self conscious.
5. I'll feel more in control.
6. Won't feel uncomfortable in my clothes.
7. Don't want to be a fat Mom.
8. Don't want to be a diabetic.

Eating isn't automatic and we can learn how to take control. From page 32--Many situations trigger thoughts about eating, but there are techniques that you can learn to avoid or minimize these triggers. When you encounter a trigger, your thoughts determine whether you act in a productive way that strengthens your resistance muscle or in an unproductive way that strengthens your giving-in muscle.

There's a task to complete for each day such as eating while sitting down, choosing a diet coach, dealing with cravings, etc.

No post since February? Wow...

Several of my blogger friends have checked on me since, but I can't believe its been since February...

I haven't made my health and fitness a priority in a long time. I recommitted April 30th and here's a page from my last night's journal....

I had yet another great day and feel that much stronger right now. I'm feeling like I really know who I am right now--I feel like a complete grown-up that knows herself, what I can do, what I can accomplish. I just feel so together...

When the alarm went off this morning, my first instinct was to go back to bed of course. But I laid there for a few minutes and realized if I just lay there was that going to make me feel better or feel worse and then I got up and did a kickboxing workout. Its hard to get started, but so worth it when you're finished. I hate how my motivation comes and goes and absolutely LOVE when I feel this way. I realize though that I can feel this way through consistency treating myself the way I should and deserve to be treated. I deserve to feel the way I want, the way I feel about myself inside-- I feel sexy and fit. Honestly, I know how hard I'm going to have to work to get where I want--the workouts, and the disciplined eating and doubt sometimes if I will be able to follow through. Its been so long since I've been 100% OP and strict on myself.

I've just got really tired of giving up on my dreams and goals for myself. I want to be an athlete, a fit mom, a role model, a uninhibited lover to my husband, an emotional eating overcomer, a true success story.

Two more pounds gone!

Short post today...gotta get ready and go to the grocery store. I'm still loving the Nutrisystem plan. I really like this way of eating and best of all, down 2 more lbs.! I'm 188.2 this morning. I bought the Nutrisystem Nourish book off of ebay and its got meal plans and recipes for when you transition from the NS food to regular food and has a lot of other good information. I lost 2 lbs. this week despite not exercising at all. I've got to get back to my morning routine. The kids have had some snow days the past few weeks and its just too tempting to stay in the bed and sleep a little extra!

NS Week Two COMPLETE

I just weighed in and am proud to announce that I'm down 2 lbs. this week for a grand total of 8.8 lbs. in 2 weeks with Nutrisystem! This week was my TOM week too so I'm estatic. I'm really enjoying this way of eating, KNOWING that I'm going to be getting results and not talking myself into an extra indulgence here and there. I'm being very strict on myself and its paying off. At the same time I know that I'll have to transition back to store-bought food but keep the same principles that NS teaches--portion size, plenty of veggies/fruit, dairy servings, etc. I've made me a small notebook with ideas for meals. I even found a cookbook that you can download online written by a lady that continued the program on her own without having bought the NS food. Its given me plenty of ideas.

If you think about it NS follows the same principles as WW but with more stringent guidelines. WW teaches the 8 Healthy Guidelines and NS gives you meal planning. The category I'm in right now I'm supposed to eat 24 points with WW. That's about equal to 1200-1400 calories. Its the same with NS. Some days my calorie count is 1200 and some days its 1400. I am eating better with NS though. With NS you're supposed to eat a salad with lunch EVERYDAY plus one with supper if you want it PLUS two veggies with supper. Dairy servings are mandatory too, where with WW sometimes I would eat them and sometimes I wouldn't.

Bottom line...Whatever program you choose to follow, IF you follow it you will get results. The following it part is the hard part...LOL