Cathy's Final Journey

The Last Diet Of My Life

My Profile

  • Name: Wtg2lose
  • City: Ruffin
  • Region: North Carolina
  • Country: United States

My Weight Loss

Height: 175.3cm
Start weight: 332.60lb
Current weight: 298.00lb
Goal weight: 170.00lb
Lost to date: 34.60lb
Remaining: 128.00lb

My Calendar

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Really Simple Syndication
08/01/2009 04:13

I am really, really bad!!!

Bad for me...bad for my health....bad for my mental state of mind...bad for my emotions...bad for the way I look at myself, my life, my actions.
 
That's the way I have been acting for the past 4 months.  I'm up to 284 pounds...up from my weight of 253 in March of this year.  WHAT HAPPENED??????????  I know, but I can't seem to turn it around.  Don't tell me it isn't a "mind" thing, because it is, that's for sure!!!! 
 
I was wanting to be in "onederland" by the end of this year and that's not going to happen now.  My charm bracelet that I was soooooooo proud of still has just the 3 charms on it.  I am so far off track, that I should take a couple of them off because I have gained those pounds back.  Can anyone tell I am completely and utterly frustrated????  But the sad truth of the matter is, nobody can do it for me....it's up to me.  I know each day is a new beginning if we just want it to be. 
 
I have gone back to eating fast foods, and, sad to say, I have gone back to eating on the sly.  In other words, eating when I'm in town by myself....or eating at home when my husband doesn't know what I'm doing.  I know he can tell I'm gaining my weight back and I'm not fooling him or anyone else for that matter.  Sometimes I think it's a sickness with me...letting food guide my life.    
 
I need to sit down and think about what I really want in life.  I just want to feel better about myself and feel better physically too.  I have already started to see people stare at me again and looking at me in disgust.  They can't have as much disgust for me than I already have for myself.  I understand how they feel looking at me because when I look in the mirror, that's what I feel.....pure disgust!!!  (But obviously not enough, because I haven't done anything about it!)
 
Okay, I have vented enough for one time.  Maybe I will have a new start soon.  I would really like to be down to 230 pounds by the end of this year...that would be 54 pounds...about 10 pounds a month...doable????  It might be close if I could just get started.
 
Thanks for listening and I know there are a lot of people on Extra Pounds that are doing great and I commend them!!!  I am truly happy for everyone that is losing and I am pulling for all of you!!!
 
Cathy   (((((HUGS))))))   

Posted By: Wtg2lose
Comments to this post:
08/01/2009 03:03

You CAN do this...

Once you are on the slippery slope, it is tough to regain your footing.  Don't overwhelm yourself with grandiose promises.  Just pick a day (today) and start with a plan for just that one day.  If that's too overwhelming, start with a plan for just one meal at a time.  Start by stringing one good meal to a snack... to a meal... to a snack and so on and pretty sure you will be stringing days and weeks together. 
 
Try and get away from the fast (but oh so convenient) foods.  Negligible nutritional value and they just don't have the bang to make you feel full for any length of time, hence another meal much sooner than would otherwise be necessary.  So, if it's easy food you're looking for, try the prepared section of your market (i.e. rotisserie chicken), as opposed to a drive through.
 
Do not despair... we will be here for you. 

Posted By: GirlNextDoor
08/01/2009 05:03

You can turn it around!

Just look back at what you were at when you first started on here! That is something to be proud of! It really gets hard after a year or so. I've been yo-yoing for well over a year now, and am also frustrated an disappointed with myself. I finally hit a low point, and have been faithfully tracking for about 3 weeks now. That is what keeps me honest. I can see what I'm doing wrong. I can be a hard thing to look at sometimes, but I find it really does help. You'll find your motivation, if I finally did again, you can too! **HUGS**

Posted By: Torgysgurl
08/01/2009 06:36

Well

life happened we have all been there, only one thing to do! Start again! Don't spend too much time beating yourself up, it is a waste of energy. Get your self a new journal, dust yourself of and let's begin. I am here to support you. HUGs Gee

Posted By: Geee



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