The Big 25

Well I have reached 25 pounds gone. But this weekend is Easter. I am going to continue NOT over eating, and eating normal portions, but it's all that chocolate that scares me.

D. can't even have it in the house. Last night I opened a bag of easter chocolate, thinking there would be some left to take for the Easter Party. But it is entirely gone today!

I think I will go for a long walk while I am there. Go down the Sea-walk one morning, just to offset the candy I know will find it's way into my mouth. I have had indulgences before, often in fact. But not over 3-4 days. I just need to keep something on track to I can have an easier return to normal.

6 more pounds until I reach my 1st goal! Can't screw it up now!

45th Day of Weightloss.

It's been 45 days since I began, so I have 137 left. I am down 21 pounds now.  The first 2 weeks I lost about 10 pounds so quickly  that I adjusted my plan a little. I would rather develope good habits over a long time than work hard for a few months and have ANY chance of gaining it all back.

I am finding this so easy. I seem to have lost some dependance on food, and have started really sticking to my excersise. I can also miss a day or eat something naughty (but a small portion!!) and not feel guilty. I just let it wash away. That is the other thing. I haven't been beating myself up about small indulgences because in the big picture, I am doing great! I could lose 5 pounds a month for the rest of the year and still end up healther that I began this year (that also 50 pounds, making my loss about 70 pounds, and that is nothing to sneeze at!)

Because I am so large, by body doesn't feel much different, but my clothes are definately fitting nicer. I feel better about myself too. On top of all the great things happening, Bug has started eating better too. He's eating a HUGE variety of fruit (althought is still not interested in veggies) and he's a lot more willing to try new things.

I've Lost Count

I haven't posted in a while, but I haven't fallen off track. I am down 17 pounds!  I am not using a fad diet  or a crazy regime. I am eating less and walking more. I am SO proud of my success.

The other thing I am proud of is that I am doing it all on my own. My mom hasn't begun her journey yet, and I am glad I didn't wait for her to begin mine. I know that when she starts hers I will be ready to help her though.

I haven't set any rewards this time. I think I am feeling some of the rewards already. I am not hoping to continue, I am just going to do it. (Don't try, Do!) If I stick to the 6 months of healthy living as my theory, I should be able to keep it up. It's only been about 5 weeks. (I have to admit that is nearly the longest I have ever stuck to a diet before!)  So I have a lot ahead of me. But this feels good.. soooo good.

182 Days of Weight Loss - Day 1

Today is day one of yet another attempt at losing my weight. The weight isn't the goal this time. This time it's 182 days (six months) of healthier living. Better eating, getting active and taking better care of myself in general.

I can do this. I will do this. This time it's for real.

Long Time Gone

Well well well.. here I am again. I love it here, knowing I can write to the people in the box and they will listen.

It's been a while since I wrote, and although I have gained 10lbs back of the weight I lost, the changes in my life have been tremendous.

I moved to a city, from my smaller town. I no longer take care of my friend's son, and I know hardly anyone here. My days are so empty that I have no excuse to not get out and have a walk. I walked every day this week. The weather is getting nasty, and I don't own a rain jacket, so I will be switching to more indoor orientated workouts soon.
I got the Biggest Loser Workout. I have been reading reviews on it, and many people liked it because it has a few variations on a single move for people in different fitness levels. I know I need to start slow and build up. I also got a program called Yourself! Fitness for my pc (but might get it for the PS2 so it's on the tv) It monitors your success, gives you a guideline, and then starts a workout. It is fully customisable, and that is awsome.

I talked to D the other day and told him that I feel unhealthy now. I have always been heavy, but now I am actually consious of the times I limit myself because of my size. I never used to do that. I was never scared to ride a bike or climb a mountain.. now I am afraid to take the bus.

I have always maintained that my biggest problem is portion control. I need to work on that. I am intending to start Jenny Craig in the next fw months (it's expensive) but I am hoping I reach a point where I feel like I am doing well on my own.

My goal this week for my body is to eat less. I will weigh myself next saturday and see how I am doing. I am also going to check in with my Dr every month and we will work together aswell. (He is a GREAT Dr!)

Hopefully one day I will have my second baby. I really can't say why I have no motivation to lose the weight that is keeping me from that goal. So, I am also going to begin seeing a therapist that specialises in obesity.
The goal for my head is to get that sorted this week too.

Something for the soul!? I have been working on a scrapbook for my friend, and reliving all the great thing I did in my youth. Revisiting all of that has made me think about where I am, and where I intended to be. I am exactly where I wanted to be. How many people can say that?! :)

So, a recap. Eat less, talk more, and remember to take my pills :)
See you next weekend!!

Vulnerable

So today I served the boys a handful or Alphabits to snack on.  As I was putting back the box I was overcome with the urge to eat a bowl. I thought "No! I will weigh myself instead" Good thing too. I have lost the cheat weight, and about 1.5 lbs more!  So I nixed the Alphabit idea.

I have decided to change one of my 10% goals. I am not sure which one but am leaning towards tossing a manicure. I have decided to get one of my tattoos fixed.

When I was 16 I wanted a tattoo. I fould a picture of a rosary anklet and fell in love. My mom said ok, and took me in. The artist said $300 and I said what can you do for $80? I ended up getting some flash off the wall. (A butterfly) The next time I went I got what I wanted at the time (a snowflake) The third time I went, I wanted that rosary, had the $$ but the artist wasn't worth that. He said he didn't want to put the 'chain' across my foot cause "that will hurt" uhm aren't tattos supposed to hurt?! He also made the cross green. So I would like to add a few strands of chain (to make it look like a long twisted chain, spun around my ankle) and maybe get her to help with the color a bit or vamp it up so it looks better.

I am not religious. I am agnostic but the rosary signifies my faith in myself. The strength I have to follow through, and courage to stand up for myself stem from this faith. I am proud of these traits of mine, and think that the tattoo that represents them should make me proud too. I just hope it doesn't cost $400. 

Better Off on Her Own

Errm.. . Yeah. So weekends are my downfall. On fridays, all I can think about is not having to cook. Not having to prepare anything. Not having to dream up Fantastic Meals for D. 
D makes weekend meals and he Loooves pizza. Did you know that a tastey, Low Carb pizza does not really exist? So the last 2 weekends have been pizza weekends. I love it, but I end up not losing anything. I need to stick to plan. Grrr...

D has taken a job out of town for a few weeks. He will come and go, but over all, I won't be seeing him much. I am going to miss him a lot. However I am looking forward to not having to cook! Bug will eat any carb I plunk down for him. I can handle eating eggs or cheese for dinner. I am sticking to the diet while he is gone. I want to be able to shock him once in a while.  I think it will be easier to exercise while he is away too, since I love walking in the evening (and that is the time I am usually cooking, cleaning and spending time with D)

Less laundry, less dishes. I wonder if my house will stay cleaner. This will be a true test. ;)

When D is finished this job, we will qualify for dental and medical coverage. With Bug's asthma (and having his Super Power of contracting the disease of everyone in a 12 mile radius of him.  Really.. it's Super) the cut in the Rx bills will help.  I also have a problem tooth that I have been dying to get taken out. Since we won't be trying for a baby while he is away. (I think he might frown upon me doing that with out him?) I shouldn't be pregnant and can get that darn tooth pulled the second we get coverage. YAY!

Physical Fascination

Last night C and I went to water areobics. VERY fun. While I am in the deep water, it is hard to catch my breath. But thankfully your only in there a few minutes, and then back to more shallow parts. The instructor was new (it was his first class) so it was a bit repetative. I am going to talk to dave about working that $20 a month into the budget. It was nice to go out, be swimming (which I love) and relax (as much as one can while excercising)

On a lighter note (haha punny) I am back in the 70s. I was up to 284 for a morning and I freaked out, ate some celery and then BAM! It's gone. This is EXACTLY the reason I need to weigh once per week, instead of every day.

I think today calls for a walk!

Here Comes the Weekend

I gained 1.5 pounds. It could be because we ate pizza on saturday. D and I thought that even people who change their whole lifestyle, indulge now and again. We only ate one carby meal, and didn't blow the entire day eating junk. We went right back on track on sunday. But the damage was already done! Ha. That will teach me to indulge on mondays and take the entire week to work it off.

On saturday, D and I took Bug on the ferry and walked all over the island. D was showing me the AMAZING houses that he builds. I have never seen any of them, and the day was perfect for a hike and ferry ride.  Bug was pretty impressed with the boats.

Soon I will only be babysitting 2-3 days per week. I am going to try  to go walking on the off days. I could take both boys out on work days, but K doesn't like walks as much. Once the weather is a lot nicer we can go to the park. During the winter it is just a big puddle.

Making my Head go Pop

I am 279.6! I am in the 70's. Good to know that a little truffle didn't make me fall completely off the wagon either. My total loss is just shy of 20 lbs. Gone for good!! I am never gonna see the 80's or 90s again.. unless they are preceded by a one.

I haven't had an update from my fellow dieters lately. I hope they are doing good. (B is at a concert. I hope he jumped and screamed off some pounds!)