Starting a new life, but still trying to get rid of the old one
So.. I don't really remember what I put on my last blog, so for a little update. Broke up with my fiance of 3.5 years. Up until last week he was still calling me and texting me and emailing me about getting back together. Why up until last week you ask? WELL, last week, I find his myspace profile. I never even knew he had one! And what did I find on his profile? Picture of him and the girl he had been cheating on me with!! And what else did I come to find out? He is MARRIED to her now! I'm with a guy for 3.5 years, broken up for barely two months, and the ass is already married. And you think you know someone... So that really put a downer on things. It didn't make me eat, but it really depressed me. Thank God, I have someone to lean on. Not because hes the new man in my life, but because hes understanding and he will listen to me bitch about the things I go through. I really think he was sent to me, he showed up 2 weeks before everything really went downhill. ANYWAYS. In a new state and a new city. Still working on getting fit. I have a new pair of jeans that are my goal jeans. They keep me motivated. I never really knew losing weight would take such a long time. At least I'm able to stick with it.
Ok. So. Since I last posted a lot has changed with me. I am not longer engaged. We were engaged for almost 4 years. But you know what, I ended it, and I think it was the best thing I've ever done for myself. Even before losing losing weight. Losing weight helped, but now I don't have that baggage on my shoulders weighing me down and making me feel bad about myself all the time. We are trying to remain friends though. He was important to me, and eventually I'm sure even our friendship will end. But for now, I'm happy where we are. Oh yes, and I packed up and moved to California! But right now I am depending on my mother. I have had a very rough year, and I knew things were going to get worse, so since she is a traveling nurse, she let me tag along with her to her assignments, so I can work and get back on my feet. I actually feel kind of like I'm going through a divorce... weird. But anyway, I've only been here two weeks ( i've lived in California before, but with my ex, not with my mom) and now instead of settling down here, I have to follow her to Nebraska!!! Do you guys realize that I have lived in the south all my life? I just looked it up, and in SEPTEMBER the normal temp for our city is 31*.. I think I might die. But I don't plan on staying there. I plan on working my bottom off and saving up all my money and eventually moving back to California. And in Jan, I will go back to school. I feel like losing weight has given me the confidence to do everything. I don't even have a problem talking to boys anymore. Speaking of boys, I am actually kind of seeing one at the moment. And hes wonderful and brilliant and makes me feel everything my ex didn't. And to top it off, he respects me. And even if it doesn't work out with him, I now know that there just might be someone out there for me that will treat me the way I deserve to be treated. So I have hope now. But I am keeping my fingers crossed with this guy, hes a keeper. Oh yeah, lets see, I am finally down in the 100s. I havent been less than 200lbs in years. I have lost a total of 49 pounds. And I feel so great. I have dieted so many times before, and nothing ever worked, and I am sooooo glad that this dieting thing is now working for me. But I guess I just never had the right motivation before. I tell you I think that is what makes a diet work. Motivation. Motivation from other people, as well as yourself. And everybody has been so supportive, and that is such a big factor in keeping me going. I still have about 40 pounds to go before I am completely satisfied. But now that I've lost over 40, another 40 is no big deal to me. And I know I'll get there. I just wish that clothes would agree with me!! I have a pair of jeans that are a 14 and my pants, from the same brand are 16s still, even though they are a little big, but 14s are too small. Thats not fair! And I have another pair of jeans that are 13/14, and they fit great! So listen up fashion designers, you all need to get together, and make the same sizes!!! And I've been keeping track of my measurements, and I've gone down in everything but for some reason it says my calves went up an inch and a half. But I really don't think that is right because I can tell they have gotten a lot smaller, I guess I just didn't measure right last time. Or this time. Whatever. But I am very excited about my chest. My bra measurements went from a size 44 at the start of my diet, to now I am a 36. I can now buy regular bras! Alrighty, I got interrupted, so now I don't remember what else I was going to say, and I've already been windy so I'll end it here. Thanks for reading, and good luck to everyone else!
ok i know i have a habit of not posting, and then all of the sudden ill do multiple posts.. but i just had to share my excitement! i keep forgetting to do my measurements, until today, which coincidently is exactly a month after i took my first measurements.. all i can say is woo hoo! i lost 8 inches in my waist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the others were minimal, from .5-2 inches.. but i am most excited about my waste. now, if they only had a tracker for my butt.....
so its been a while... been busy..by the way, thanks for the comments, and I have no idea how to add people to my friends, and I don't even know if I can since I'm a free member. =( I'm broke. So I figured out how to keep phentermine working... go off it for a few days, then get back on. I noticed that even when I went off, my metabolism obviously stayed the same, and thats great, and when I started it back, my hunger went away again. Also, because I joined this site after I had started my diet, it doesn't show my total weight loss, but as of this morning I hit my *40* pound mark! actually make that 40.5!! I'm so excited. Things aren't going that great. My fiance moved to Canada, and hes commuting to New York looking for a job. Right now things are very bad with us, I don't even think we will make it. But I am getting to the point where it's not bothering me as much because I have gained so much self confidence, that I know if we eventually do split, I'll be ok. Also, in less than a week I'll be moving to California for a couple months to be with my mom. So lets just hope I'm able to continue the losing streak =)
ok so yeah, ive gained back 5 pounds.. but oh well, i wont let it discourage me.. most of the weight loss was from not eating anyway, so i couldnt have expected it to magically stay off. plus im not even working out, just dieting. but actually, my fiance has been back in town and hell it is so much easier to be on a diet when hes not around. so im just going to blame it on him. but im not letting it get me down because i know as soon as i get my butt into gear and be serious again in know it will come right back off. so its ok. at least hes telling me i look good, so im getting motivation to keep losing. and guys are noticing me again, and that feels great, but well keep it a secret though
It has been a really hard week, my fiance and I do nothing but fight and it sucks because we arent even in the same state. We are both going through changes and we cant be together to support each other. I knew that when he joined the military that things were going to change, but I wasn't prepared for them to change so fast, we have been together 3.5 years, and for the last 5 months, 4 have been spent apart and it will continue to be like that until July. I think maybe the Phentermine is making me sad because I have been so down lately. Today especially, I stayed in bed all day. And when I finally got out of bed I ate away. Nothing huge just bites here and there, mostly pineapple and tuna. But I think the pills are not working anymore for some reason because for the last 3 days its all I can do to not eat a horse. This sucks.
So today is my first real day of taking Phentermine at 37.5mg a pill once a day. Apparently it is working because I woke up at 1130 (couldn't fall asleep till 730am), took my pill, and obviously just forgot to eat. I've had nothing to eat all day. It's 730pm now. I wasn't expecting to not eat, in fact I was planning on eating, and I certainently didn't expect the whole day to go by and forget to eat. Tomorrow I must do better because I want to do this the healthy way, and I want to keep the weight off. The only annoying thing about this pill is the dry mouth. I feel like theres a cotton ball in there. I guess it could be looked at as a good thing because it's forcing me to drink lots of water. Hopefully, this side effect will decrease or eventually go away.
I just spent the time writing a whole thing about BMI but when I pressed preview I wasn't able to do anything and I lost everything I wrote so now I will just cut to the chase. Apparently, according to Mr, Knowitall BMI, I am clinically obese. I just refuse to accept that. Overweight, yes of course, clinically obese? Can't be. Or maybe I just can't face the truth. Maybe someone will be nice, and tell me the truth.
