Today was my day to talk to Lynn, my therapist. I guess you could call her my diet therapist. She is going to help me keep my weight off when I finish losing weight.
We spent alot of time today with her figuring out what I want. I have a strong personality and I don't push well. I need help but I won't be forced into a path that is wrong for me.
So she stopped pusing the high protien diet. I told her that I want to try and eat more of a natural diet. Less process foods and more veggies and fresh fruit. She is still trying to get me to drink the soy milk. Perhaps I will buy some and at least give it a try. What is the worst that can happen? I throw it away because I don't like it?
Lynn is going to make me a tape. One of those hypnosis tapes. She said that the subconcious mind is a strong ally in this plan to keep the weight off. So I think it would be a good idea to follow this idea. Trying something new might just work for me.
About my blood sugar. This morning it was 108. I cann't believe I cann't get it to normal. I ate no sweets, drank no cokes. I had 1/2 cup of rice. No other starches for the day. Dang. It really scares me to think that I could do that good and then my blood sugar won't go down. I read that if your blood sugar goes up more than 20 points then your eating too many carbs. Mine went from 97 to 149. Way too high. Now I have to figure out how to keep my blood sugar down.
Today my unofficial weight is 157.8. Tomorrow I go to weight watchers. I expect to be be around 160. Thats about what it is when I am clothed and after I eat lunch. We will see. I will try to post again tomorrow.
We leave for Alaska on Saturday. We will be gone untill the 6th. It should be much cooler there. It is almost 100 degrees today.
Why do I do what I do when I don't like the results?
I am still taking the Phen. A funny thing happened. When I told my dr that it caused me to have trouble sleeping he told me that it all wore off in nine or ten hours. That one statement helped me to sleep better. I have a funny mind.
I am following weight watchers and my weight loss is slow. But the truth is that I want to keep the weight off after I lose it so I don't mind so much that it is coming of so slowly. Sure, I would love to see ten pounds come off in two weeks or even a month but I think I will just try for slow and perminent this time.
So I am down under 160 for the first time in two years. Yea for me. Well unofficially anyhow. The morning weight is what I have always gone by no matter what the dr's office scale's said. I will just keep plugging away at it.
Tomorrow I go back to the therapist. I have to get my mind wrapped around this. So many things she suggested I just did not like. But I keep reminding my self what Dr. Phil says. "If you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you've allways got."
I have got to learn to think about this differently. If I don't then I will continue to run myself in little tight circles and never keep the weight off. To that end, I bought brown bread. I know that doesn't sound like much, but to me that is the beginning of a new attitude. And the wonderful thing is that I actually started eating it unstead of just letting it get old in the cabinet.
I read about a way of thinking of the food that you eat. I think it is called "Am I Hungery", I think I will buy the book and perhaps go to the workshop in Fairfield. We'll see afer I do somemore reading up on it.
Here we go again with the weight loss. You know, it is not so much that the weight loss is so horrible but the keeping it off is my biggest problem. So this time I am trying something different.
I am taking phentermine and going to a therapist. I hope Lyn, the therapist, can help me learn why I cann't keep my weight off. So far, I am trying to think about what I am doing before I put it in my mouth. And trying to not eat bread with everything. I guess the next step is to try and learn to eat whole wheat breads.
And perhaps if I can write on this blog spot everyday then I can identify some of my problems with food.
Now for statistics.: I am 51 years old, I weighed 166 at the dr's this morning. I want to weigh 130.
My reasons: to get off of the diabetes meds, to look better, to feel better
Well it is One Week until 2008. No use in waiting until the last minute to start my challenge for the New Year. So I think I will start today.
What does it take to stay on program? Let me think...
Track
Water
Healthy Guidelines
Exercise
That all adds up to "Stay on Program".
Yep, that is what it means.
How about get on program? What do I need to do to get on program?
For me personaly it is a journey.
First I have to swear off of the cokes. So, I have to be determined to deal with seven days of mind blowing headachs, nausia, and horrible irritability. That should be enough to keep me off my feed, but it makes me stress eat. My only true addiction and like a true addict I keep going back to it.
I seriously dread this part...but do you think it keeps me off of the cokes when I get off? Nope. Eventualy I go back. After I get off the cokes the water is easy.
And then I have to get my brain in gear to get back on track.
So lets see how long I can stay on track.
I guess I lost track of this web blog. Life can be so crazy.
Well, the diet pills didn't work. I just couldn't stay on them last year. But I did manage to lose weight last year. Not loads and loads but over ten pounds. If I can lose ten pounds this year then I will be doing good. Perhaps I can even keep track of my blog this time too.
Today I walked for the first time since I got sick and the weather turned into winter. Mother and I walked for almost an hour. Last fall we could walk the same distance in fourty minutes. But we will build back up.
I know that I am not the only person that has has a life long battle with weight. I would just like to win that battle and be done with it. Perhaps that is a misconception that I will need to work through.
What I would like to do is lose the weight and then learn how to win the battle to keep it off.
Two years ago, I was on Phentermine and lost 40 pounds. It took me less than six months to put it back on. This time I am going to use Phentermine again and lost 40 pounds but this time I want to learn how to keep it off. Surely there is a way to do that. People do it all of the time so there has got to be a way for me to learn to do it too.
Today I went to my regular doctor and asked him if I was healthy enough to take diet pills and he said that I was. So he refured me to another dr who will perscribe my pills. I will start that tommorow.
So here we go on a journey to get the weight off and keep it off this time. So I hope to learn to keep the weight off before I get it off this time.
