03/29/2010 19:41
Jumped, fell or pushed, I don't know....
but any way you look at it, I have been gaining weight, not losing it. I'm back in phernemine and it does not seem to be helping at all this time. I can't stay on track and I'm probably past 200 lbs now.....don't know for sure 'cause I'm afraid to step on the scale.
Getting very depressed about this. Hubby doesn't seem to care and is hardly supportive, yet I can tell by his non-verbal communication, that this extra weight is a turn-off.
Arggggghhhhh.......this is all so frustrating! I continually see my self (in my head) like I used to be and then put on clothes that don't fit! In the last two years I have bought 2 pair of pants and 1 sweater. I don't feel like I deserve new clothes, but my old ones are just that...OLD. Everything has holes so I keep wearing longer and longer shirts to cover them up. My newest bra is 4 years old and my underwear are even older.
So yes, this post it just a grip session. I'm angry, depressed, fat, unhappy, grumpy, and ready for an all out pity party.
I wish I could donate fat as easily as I donate blood every 4 weeks.
I've become a fixture at my desk. I've worked the same job for the last 21 years and have actually grown INTO my chair (at least it feels that what). And yes, I'm sick of the job too, but since my husband unemployed, what choice do I have? I supposed I should just be grateful that I have a job.
Well, I guess I should stop all the moaning.....if you are unfortunate enough to read this blog, I'm sorry if I've brought you down (yet another failure on my part).