Last night I skipped going to the gym and ended up going out to dinner with an friend of mine and his sister. The friend is an "ex" from about 3 years back. His sister was in town and she wanted to get together for dinner. We ended up at this Chinease Seafood Buffet place.
Well I must say I did pretty good. I only had one plate of food (which I picked over), one cup of sweet tea and some fresh fruit. My only indulgence for the evening was a slice of pizza(mmm pizzaaa). Do understand the fresh fruit was not my 1st choice of dessert. I figured since I had pizza, one more carb wounldn't hurt, but the universe has a funny way of making sure you do what 's right.
You see I was eyeing some chocolate cake as I walked past the dessert table. I figured since there was half of a cake left I could come back for a slice. Well when I went back to the table there was only one slice of chocolate cake left. I couldn't get to it because some man was blocking my way .
So the guy starts moving away from the dessert table, and another lady walks up next to him... I'm guessing she was his wife. Anyway she's moving closer, and closer to the dessert table. I look at her ... then at the piece of cake sitting there all alone on the cake tray... then back at her .
by this point my brain is now screaming... "I WANT CAKE"... "WE'RE GOING TO GET THAT CAKE"..... "SHE BETTER NOT TOUCH IT!!!
She reached the dessert table first (only because I let her ..umpf ) and started to make her selection. I was standing right behind her. "No Biggie" I thought as she started reaching for some other dessert. BUT... then it looked as if she were changing her mind....she grabbed the tongs and was reaching for.... THE CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!
My mind instantly started thinking ugly thoughts: See I knew I should 've elbowed her out of the way and t ook the cake!...Look at her, she doesn't even NEED a slice of cake, she could stand to lose a few pounds anyway!!! (but wasn't I working out to lose MY extra pounds??) then it happened....
SHE TOOK THE LAST SLICE OF CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!
I will admit I was hurt, and kinda in shock. Once the cake was gone. I stood there looking at the empty tray. For a brief second I considered scrapping the crumbs off the waxpaper to eat. (LOL How pathetic!!) After looking dumb and clueless for about 3 seconds I finally made my way over the to fresh fruit. Oh well I guess it wasn't ment to be.
Yesterday turned out to be a pretty interesting day at the gym. Here's how everything went down
I'm watching you.... My first stop was the stationary bike. I rode for about 25 minutes at level 6. The room was empty when I jumped on the bike but then the 7 o'clock crew starting coming in and the room quickly filled up. So in walks this girl that I think I notice from the yoga class.
She hopped on the bike next to me and starts pedaling. So here we are ..side by side, she has her book and I am listening to my music. While pedaling I notice that from time to time she's casually looking over trying to see the stats on my machine. (WTH??) Why people do it I will never know. Can't I workout in peace?? It's NOT a race people. I am just here to workout like everyone else .
When finished I burned a total of 156 calories but I still was not done. i hopped on the TM and started walking . The girl on the bike just looked at me. Funny thing is when she wasn't looking I checked out her stats. She was only working out at Level 2. Now I am not going to laugh or poke fun at her because everyone works at their own pace at any rate I ended up burning another 187 cal.
No Neal.... I checked in at the FD and was told he had taken the day off . Oh well.... for a split second I thought about going home, but I decided to just work on the machines I feel comfortable with.
You look like you could use a hand...So I am working out on the ab machine and in walks this lady who was quite a bit older than me. She didn't have wrinkles but her hair was all gray so I really couldn't guess her age.
I noticed that she wanted to use the pull down machine but someone had changed the handle bars to some other type of bar. Anyway she looked at the machine, (couldn't figure out how to change the bars) shook her head, and started to walk off.
I asked her if she wanted to use that machine. When she replied yes, I changed the bars for her. She just smiled and said "your brave for changing those bars". Later as we worked on different machines, I noticed she needed help again. This time she was on the machine for your back.
For this particular machine...you sit down and the bar is on back. You are sitting in a crunch position. As you lift up you lean all the way back. The poor lady had the bar on her chest and couldn't figure out why it wasn't moving So I walk over and give her a demo. "Oh this one's easier than I thought" she said once she saw me do it. I guess working with Neal did come in handy.
Subway Not for me.... Since I did not have any dinner prior to working out I decided to walk to subway for a sandwich. As I placed my order I noticed a FLY just sitting there chilling on the lettuce. EWWWW!! I kept trying to tell the clerk but she wouldn't listen. Then she tried to grab the lettuce that the fly was sitting on and put it on my sandwhich!!!OH HELLLL NOOOO!! I will NOT be going back to that Subway.
Going Down....I cheated this moring and jumped on the scale. It read: 232.6 Yeah!!! ok now we are getting somewhere.
First off let me say Thank you to everyone who commented on my blog Friday. You know sometimes we can be our own harshest critic and yes I was suffering from the I WANT IT NOW syndrome but after reading all of your comments I felt a lot better.
Weekend Review
Friday 's Girls night out was ok, but I secretly wished I had gone to the gym before hand. How ironic... I dread going to the gym, but if I don't go I feel bad.
On Sat my co-worker who has had me making cakes for the past two weekends tried his best to get me to make more cupcakes. I held tight and kept on refusing. It's funny he wanted me to make cupcakes and he knows that we both are trying to lose weight.
I held my ground and tried everything in the book. Our convo went like this:
Him: Why won't you make the cupcakes? I even told my neices and nephews that I work with "BETTY CROCKER"and they want BETTYto make them some more cupcakes. (Here he uses Lies & deceit)
Me: I am not making cupcakes. I really don't know those kids plus if I make cupcakes you know we are going to eat some.
Him: That's not true...I think we did good last weekend with our eating. Come on just make some cupcakes.. you're a know you are a good cook. ( now he's resorted to flattery)
Me:NO!! I am not making them because I know that I will be tempted to eat them. I had 3 cupcakes last weekend and I knew that was too many but I kept eating anyway.
Finally I broke it down to him and explained my problem with bread. I told him how I grew up eating bread with every meal and how a lot of my family memebers are diabetics. Pizzas, cakes, and biscuits are my downfall and knowing that I try to stay away from them.
Him:You are NOT big girl. Your bottom half is really small you just have a large chest. You have so much going for you and I like how confident you are. Most girls your size are shy and try to hide their figures.
Then he continunes on...
What ?? You don't like the way you look?
At this point I am shaking my head and thinking WTH?? (ok yes some days I am a little sensitive about my weight than others but who isn't??) But I wasn't telling him that!!
Some people will just say anything out of their mouth. Anyway we did not have any cupcakes. But it just goes to show you how the temptation devil uses people to get you off track.
Fatty Girl or Wardrobe malfunction??
Ok question: Do you ever have a day when you feel small or just good about yourself and you put on something and later on regret it?
That was also me on Sat. I woke up and put a cute orange and silver tee. I paired it up with some jeans and some silver flat sandals. Well when I looked in the mirror I smiled at how slender my frame looked. Maybe working out was paying off.
But as the day progressed I found myself pulling and tugging the shirt down. Whenever I walked with each step I could feel my top roll (yes I have two) jiggling. I just didn't feel right. Eventually I looked at myself in the mirror and my top roll wassticking out. My reflection looked like a mushroom.
I don't understand I took my fluid pill this morning, I'm drinking water, I'm moving around. WHAAAH!! I FEEL FAAT!!! Plus my stupid pants kept sliding down most of the day!
Maybe it was the boston market I had for dinner. I figured it wouldn't be bad for me, But my co-worker and I did stop past the 7-11and pick up some snacks. Yes I ate 1/2 a package of twizzlers and 1/2 pack of M&M's . But I did eat only half and I tossed out the rest (upsetting my co-worker) LOL
Funny thing tho, that night I jumped on the scale and it read 236, but after going to sleep and waking up on Sunday it was back down to 235. Maybe Boston Market had too much sodium and caused me to hold on to extra fluid. I may have to take them off of my " ok places to eat out at" Oh well guess it's back to Subway.
Blah... After the slight dissappointment of MMD, overhearing my parents arguing last night, and not really wanting to get up this moring. I feel like crap. Things are not going well here at work either. Stupid catering comp. put the wrong date on the order so the conference that is going on right now has NO catering. RRRR . Oh well at least tonight is girls nite out... maybe that will cheer me up.
MMD... Not what I expected....."The girls are not going anywhere" I told Neal as he moved in close to wrap the measuring tape around my chest. I knew from previous weight loss attempts that I tend to lose in the lower half of my body before top half.
Neal just laughed along with me and continued to take my measurements.
(NEWSFLASH!!!!! let me interrupt here and say... damn, damn, daaamn... OMG when he leaned in close to measure my chest I had to turn my head... I haven't been on a date in so long.. I was ready to take a bite out of Neal's neck ...LMAO )Ok back to our regularly scheduled blog.
By the time he was finished I really wanted to cry. Everything basically stayed the same!! I only lost 1inch in the waist and 2 inches off my arms.
" We will have to do more upper body work" Neal says as I am trying to hide the dissappointment on my face.
While walking on the TM, I just couldn't seem to block out the negative thoughts. I was thinking:
Of how I made myself come to the gym when I wanted to stay home
Of hard times I had with those stupid machines
Of all the times I deprived myself of pizza, McDonald's, or Candy
From that point on my workout seemed harder and I had lost focus. I did 30 min on the TM and burned 217 cal. previous times I had burned like 239. Then when it came time to do the upper body exercises. I struggled like hell but at least I had Neal there to chat with. I'm learning a lot about him.
Oh well this doesn't mean I am giving up. It just means I have to be thankful for what I have ( as far as weigh loss, and the courage to even go to the gym) and I know that I just have to keep at it.
Whew!! Ok, I finally have some time to write to you guys. I usually do my blogs here at work first thing in the morning, but today we had two big conferences to prepare for. Oh well I am not complaining at least walking back and forth was a good mini workout.
Stepping Up...Ok so I have been going to the ymca for a about a month and a half and I really want to start stepping it up. Sooo..I have decided to start arriving at 6:30 so I can give more time to my workout. I know it will be hard because I normally get home at 6 and I usually want to rest and eat something small b4 heading out. Oh well that just means I have to fight the urge to sit down and do nothing.
Yesterday I arrived a bit early at the gym. It wasn't crowded at all, so I immediately jumped on the TM and this time I keyed in 45 mins. That's right, I wanted to test my self to see if I could do it. I am proud to say I walked for 50 minutes and burned 322 calories. Whoo Hoo... go me! go me!
I See Yooou!!!!
After my walk I met up with Neal and I worked on the designated machines. I was doing good until I had to do lunges. I usually do them in the hallway. Mrs. Brenda the FD attendant was looking at me while I was doing the lunges!! "Don't look at me I'm shy" I told her. LOL I don't know for some reason when I get the feeling someone's watching me I can't focus. So for like a minute after I wasn't to steady with the lunges. I still have issues with Neal watching. Mrs. Brenda just smiled at me and told me that I was doing such a good job.
Do some Zumba...
Ok so about a month ago I ran into a lady named Destiny. She teaches the Mon/Wedns Zumba class. She lost over 80 pounds coming to the "y" so she is really an inspiration to everyone. She approached me and invited me to come and check out her class. She had mentioned that she couldn't do the treadmill because she would be a little bored with it. I just smiled and told her that I would check it out. Fast forward back to yesterday...
So Neal asks me if I had tried the Zumba class and... he has mentioned it before. (I wonder was there something going on that I was missing?? I mean I already go to the gym 3 sometimes 4 times a week. Plus I spend 2 hours when I am there!) How much aerobic exercise do I need? Oh well whateva . He explained to me that if I wanted to see the pounds come off I would have to crank up the cardio and Zumba would help.
Then on the sly he asked me if I have been working out on Tuesdays. ( Well this past Tuesday I didn't show up because I had to purchase shocks for my truck )Neal just laughed and joked that I didn't come on Tuesdays because he was off. How did he know?? LOL No seriously... I do need a day to myself plus that's my new laundry day. Or day to run errands.
MMD....will FINALLY be TODAY. I told Neal he owes me some measurements. I am tired of waitng. LOL So i will post them tommorrow.
I was actually looking forward to yesterday's workout simply because I thought I was going to have my measurements taken, but before I could hit the gym I had to stop past my pt job for a meeting.
Well the meeting never happend. Turns out management had an emergency meeting and staff was able to leave. What a waste of my time and gas. Plus it was dark and cloudy outside..rain was approaching. So I rushed home, changed, grabbed a quick bite to eat and made my way to the ymca.
It was like 35 minutes past my ususal starting time and when I arrived Neal was already covering the FD. He handed me my clipboard (translation: you're on your own today kid). I went around the corner to the arerobics room and all the TM were in use !!! So that ment I had to step out of my comfort zone and use another machine. I knew I couldn't do 30 minutes on the eliptical so I hopped on the stationary bike. As I started to pedal, I thought to myself.....I feel stupid
I mean here I was looking out this big glass window into the parking lot and pedaling my tail off. It felt were because I was looking at actual things but not moving. Plus I really didn't have anything to do with my arms. Oh and the stupid seat was so hard that my bottom started hurting. I thought about jumping off when the TM became availible but I was determined not to give up. I can honestly say I know what a horse feels like.
My feet were just going round and round in a synchronized fashion. Every so often I would push down too hard with one foot and cause the other foot to jerk up quickly messing up the routine..so I would do a little gallop. I just laughed at myself. I burned 189 calories in 30 minutes. Close to about what I would have burned using the TM.
Anyway I completed the rest of the exercises listed on the chart and went home. I will try to get there early next time so I can get my measurements.
The weekend turned out to be ok dispite some obstacles. I will try to keep it short for you guys.
Well Friday....
I didn't get to meet up with Neal since our plans to meet were pushed up. ( Sorry Neal )
The event was almost cancelled because my very good friend (who's relocating) friend caused a scene because we were late meeting up and she didn't want to go with the group for appetizers. She just wanted to go to go straight to the club.
That made me mad because she didn't come up with any ideas or buy my friend anything for her going away event , plus complained about the transportation and this chick didn't even drive. I felt she could of composed herself a little better than she did.
She walked off and left the group standing in front of her house... SOOO.. we left her and ended up having a wonderful time
We went to a place called Mango Mike's. The food was good, I had a chicken quesadilla and some crab and spinach dip.
The strawberry daquiri's were de-lish!! It came in a super long bottle similar to one you would get at an amusement park.
The waitress accidentally knocked over my water ...it spilled all on my pants !! I am glad I had on dark jeans and they dried quickly.
We danced all night. My feet were hurting in my heels but at least I burned some calories
While I was posing for a pic some cute guy just came and jumped into the picture. LOL I have no idea who this guy was, but we took two pics and then he was gone... I didn't even try to get his name.
Saturday ....
was just another day at work
my co-woker and I made cupcakes for one of the individuals b-day
I had (sniff-sniff) 3 CUPCAKES!!!!
I heard this grinding noise coming from my front wheels of my truck on my way home from work... WHAT THE HELL?? It sounded like my breaks were going bad. It was time to call my mechanic (DAD) LOL hey I can't help it if he works at a discounted rate.
And Finally Sunday....
I ended up calling out so I could get my truck fixed. Work was schedule to be done at 12:30 and it was 8am when I woke up, so since it was still early I decided to check out the new YMCA
When I arrived I found out there was no one around to give me a tour. (that sucks) so I was allowed to wander around on my own. I had a choice of taking the elevator or the stairs. I took the stairs and checked out each floor.
I DON"T THINK I WILL LIKE IT it's sooo big. Seven Floors and a Huge pool. I like my gym because its small and family like. I get a commercialized feeling from this place. Here you have to pay for certain lockers, classes, personal trainers and massages. They don't have a zumba class and all the work out machines are located on different floors. Plus its like a maze, some hallways are long and are dead ends. Not exactly female friendly say if I want to workout late at night.
Anyway at least its only a mile away from my place. I was able to walk 2.16 miles in no time. And I was happy I took the steps
And last but not least the scale read: 234.6 this morning but I'm not posting it until after it stays that way for a couple of days. Tonight I meet with Neal for MMD but I will be later than usual because I have a stupid meeting at the pt job.
Ok so I have decided to go out with the girls. Normally I'm not a take charge kinda girl...but I managed to change our plans from wandering around the harbor to going to a nice restaurant called "Mango Mike's". I figure we can go there for appetizers and drinks then head over to this club called "Fur" we can get in free before midnight and we can wear jeans. I hope I have fun tonight, like I said before I really don't care for clubs.
I usually don't have too much fun because at times I can be a bit self conscious. I would like to be the center of attention sometimes but I am more of an introvert type. I know I am not an ugly duckling, but I do think I put too much thought into going out. Here are the reasons I don't like going out:
My schedule is ususally hectic so I am rushing to get ready
My shoes and shirt must match, all accessories must be in place, and hair, eyebrows, etc must be done... I have to feel comfortable otherwise I will feel ugly.
Once I get there I feel like people are always watching me esp. when everyone starts dancing...I like to people watch so I know people are watching me.
People in this area tend to get caught up on looks..it seems as if the guys only want to dance with you if you a) HAVE on SOMETHING SKIMPYb) Look like a model or video vixen or c) have a big rumpshaker and I don't have the look at all
I don't exude confidence either. My friend who is leaving is heavier than me and she always gets the guy. Her self esteem is so high, plus she is a people person. Guys and Girls think she is crazy and fun to hang around
Anyway I will let you guys know how it turns out. Right now I am really watching what I eat. I don't want too eat too much now and feel too fat in my outfit plus I don't want to eat too little and eat like a cow later.
Small Talk.... I did 38 min on the TM and burned 242 cal plus I made it to 1.92 miles. Almost 2 miles Whoo HOO!! and I chatted with Neal, he told me where he grew up, how he knew he wanted to be a boxer, and what his future plans were and we discussed politics...more like he discussed I was trying to focus on not losing my count. Oh and during our little chat he kept holding his back, he explained that he ran 8 miles after work today. Eight miles!!! WOWWW. ( let Tay rub it and make it all better )Then we started talking about the transistion to the new location.
FYI.... my ymca is closing for two years(BOOO), so everyone must go to the one downtown and all my mind can process is corporate/government workers who work out right after work causing the gym to be crowded. I'm sure they look all buff and lean and will probably laugh at those of us just learning to workout. I know I have to change my thinking
Anyway the chat with Neal was nice. After my workouts I usually weigh myself...last night it was 238 . Ok I am happy with that but Neal was like I have to do more... we'll see I have to find out what more is...LOL
Eyes playing tricks on me...I woke up this morning and the scale read 236.2. WHAAAT?? HOWWWW? Well I won't argue with the scale but I wont post the new weight until it stays at 236 for a couple of days.
Alone again.....Yesterday Neal had to cover the FD so I had to work out on my own. I was ok with it sort of. I mean I know the day will come when I will be able to do a complete workout on my own...but it seems like that day is coming sooner than I expected. I guess it's like they say in the pull ups comercial "I'm a big kid now".
Anyway... I followed Neal's outline chart completely. I did 25 minutes on the TM which burned 190 cal, and I did 3 sets of everything when it came to the weights. I still have problems with knowing the names of all the equipment ...but I guess I will learn that as well.
(MMD) Measurement Day...Ok so I know a lot of people here at EP have a WI day. I have decieded to name my special day Measurement Day or MMD for short. Before leaving yesterday Neal informed me that Monday is the big day. I hope to see some improvement. Oh and he asked me if I would be working out Friday. Ever since I told him I would be working out on non-paydays and missing Payday fridays. He always inquires. LOL I think its kinda cute that he remembers I told him I would let him know. Which brings me to the next subject which is not weight related...
How do you know you are a good friend??
I really would like to keep my word to Neal about coming in on Friday. I missed last friday because I had plans which didn't go as planned. So I figured end the end I should have worked out. This friday a friend of mine is relocating and this is her last week in town, a mutual friend of ours and I decided that we would take her out tommorrow to celebrate her new endevors.
I really wanted to do a going away party. Her friend wants to go to the bars and club hop. I don't do to well with the club scene. ..Never have. Part of me is thinking " go anyway it's her last day in town" the other half doesn't want to miss my workout plus by me working two jobs Friday nights are like my only free day.
The plans are jacked..everything is up in the air, all I know is that we are going to the new harbor... no time has been set, we don't really know where we are going to meet up or let alone who all will be attending. I hate not having a plan. I really want to workout but I don't want to dissappoint my friend and unfortunately she is one of those people who disowns you when you don't come through for her or you don't respond like she would have. I know I am grown but I hate to disappoint people. I'm have a hard time deciding if I should go or do what I want to do?
Down a little..Ok so I jumped on the scale last night and this morning. It read : 239.4WHOO HOO !!! I know it's not a big loss, but any time the scale handle goes down its a good thing. Ok I have said enough
This morning I struggled to get out of bed and woke up with a headache. I really wish today would hurry up and be over...but once I leave work, I have to go to the gym and cook dinner. I am starting to have mixed feelings on the gym. On one hand I like going to the gym but somedays its hard to get motivated to go. I mean it's getting to the point where I don't mind doing the weight portion but I am getting tired of doing the treadmilll. Everytime I do the TM it feels like I have ingested a brillo pad and its churning in the top portion of my stomach. Ouch.
Just wait until next week...
I finally called the Doctors office because TOM doesn't seem to want to leave. A normal cycle usually lasts 4 days but it has been 2 weeks now and and I am getting worried. "The pill will do that to you, if you are still having bleeding next week, then call to make an appointment" says the nurse. RRRR.... so basically I have to be a walking, crampy, sentimental, fatigued, mental case for another week!!!! This is so not fair, I wish I could crawl into a ditch with a blanket and pillow and go to sleep. Yep, I am too tired to tear up anything or cause problems.
And with that said my fingers are tired...YMCA update tommorrow
I only had one plate of food (which I picked over), one cup of sweet tea and some fresh fruit. My only indulgence for the evening was a slice of pizza
(mmm pizzaaa). Do understand the fresh fruit was not my 1st choice of dessert. I figured since I had pizza, one more carb wounldn't hurt, but the universe has a funny way of making sure you do what 's right.
. 
.
looking over trying to see the stats on my machine. 
So I walk over and give her a demo. 
and I knew that was too many but I kept eating anyway. 
uses people to get you off track. 
I told him I would let him know. Which brings me to the next subject which is not weight related...