Ok so at first I was thinking "Poor thing" when I read JulieW's blog. I believe she said EP had not posted her blog. Well after posting comments for other EP members I wanted to see if I had any comments on my page. All I can say is RRRRR I'm right with you Julie.
Weekend Review
Lets see my eating was horrific. It started Friday, some friends and I went out I had Taco Bell and way too many calories from the Wine Coolers. Saturday while bored at work I injestesd nothing but candy, candy, candy... skittles, twizzlers, and m&m's. You name it, I had it. Sunday I skipped breakfast... actually I had a banana, a plum, and more candy. I know I have to do better.
Gone but not forgotten
Well I have to find a way to get my workouts in this week. My ymca is now closed. They will be renovations in the area and the new and improved "Y" won't open until 2010. So that means I will have to walk two blocks over and 6 blocks down the street to the larger YMCA. I 'ed my small gym. I am not to thrilled about going to a larger facility but I'm not going to complain... (unless they give me a reason)
Short week in progress
So will be off work starting Thursday and schedule not to return until Wednesday (Whoo Hoo!!) I have decided to go away and visit one of my friends (the one who moved to N.C) I am kinda looking forward to it, because I haven't had a vacation in a while, but at the same time there are so many friends here in the city that I don't get a chance to hang out with because I work all the time. Plus I thought my truck only needed an oil change and alignment.... NOPE... now the A/C wants to blow out hot air and my CD player is chewing up my CD's. Last but not least it's my moms Birthday. I feel sorta bad because she will be going to work on her b-day plus I did buy her a nice ring but she has already seen it. I guess what I'm trying to say is... I don't want to ignore my mom and it would be so nice to get away but there is so much to do here.
Oh well I will figure it out. Have a good evening everyone!!!
Ok so I have this tennis skirt/skort thingy that I purchased from Wally-world a couple of months ago. It's black with a white line going down the side and it has shorts underneath the skirt. It's made of some smooth material (think sweat suits that make the swish-swish" noise). Anyway I liked the way it showed off my legs and I couldn't pass it up because it was on clearance.
Well that same cute skort has been sitting in the dresser drawer for a while now and the only time it sees daylight is when I think of wearing it to the gym. I always end up putting it back in the drawer because those evil thoughts start to pop up in my head. You know the ones that tell you how horrible you look in your outfit or that you are"too BIG" to pull off a certain look.
Since all of my usual workout clothes are trying to climb out of the laundry hamper..... I had no choice but to wear the skort . So I put it on, along with a white tee and made my way to the gym.
So I'm walking down the street to the "y" and on the opposite side of the street were some girls who I thought were looking at me, as I walked along they all started looking my way. I just listened to the mp.3 and kept it moving. As I stepped off the curve to cross the street, I could feel the shorts start to creep up my thighs... I can see why they chose to add skirt over the shorts.
So I'm halfway to the gym and then I hear "Whoo hooo" coming from one of the corners...I looked over out the corner of my eye and saw a bum, wine-o or homeless man (whatever you want to call him.) Once again I tuned him out and kept on moving.
I made it to the gym and I hopped on the bike. Let's just say that I'm glad no one else was in the room because I had a lot of thigh exposed. Plus to make matters worse, the aerobics room is facing the parking lot. And someone was in their car !!!! I was praying that they couldn't see me from the outside looking in. Plus as I cycled it started to get hot and the fat part of my thighs started to stick together . Whaaaaa!!!!
Ok so 10 minutes on the bike done, I jump off adjust shorts and move to the eliptical. Another 15 minutes done, jump off and readjust shorts again. I must have readjusted those things like 10 times that night. At first I was nervous about fixing them, but shoot men adjust themselves all the time. So I just continued on with the workout until I was done but I don't think I'll be wearing a skirt/skort anytime soon.
Ok guys sorry for the late blog, normally I skip working out on Tuesdays so I generally don't blog but I had so much I wanted to share with you so here we go....
I'm a scale whore!!!
Yep, TatumsMom called me one the other day! Just joking!! But honestly I know I am because I step on the scale every morning before work and before going to bed. I know it's sad, but what is really sad is the fact that the scale read 232.8 this morning !!! I couldn't believe my eyes. It seems like I am stuck between 232 and 229. Why can't those stupid 3 pounds leave me alone. Noooo GO AWAY!! BYE-BYE now. LOL
To shop or not to shop ??
That my good friends is the question. So I get a phone call from a friend and the girls have decided it's time for another "Ladies night out". Since it's always on a Friday night and I am usually always running late I figured I would save myself some time by figuring out what I'll be wearing now.
So I go online to Torrid one of my favorite stores. Well I ordered a shirt, two shirts to be exact and they arrived today. I was excited because one of the shirts I had been watching until the price dropped. So I tried on first shirt which was a size 3 aka size 22-24. IT DIDN"T FIT!!! The shirt looked like a potato sack on me! It did nothing for my shape. My co-worker just laughed at me. I normally wear a size 3 so I was thinking order my regular size.. Then my co-worker chastized me because she told me I was losing weight and I should have known to order a smaller size.
Now normally under the circumstances I would have been happy, but the shirt was on clearance and the store won't refund clearance items so I guess I will have to find someone to give it away to.
That brings me to my question. While in transition from voloputous and sexy to just sexy should one purchase new clothing or wait until we arrive at our weight loss goal?
Still not with it
I woke up tired again today and this time with a headache. I didn't want to go through the day looking like a wounded animal so I drank a cup of coffee along with breakfast. I also put extra sugar in it for an added boost . Then I took two advils for my headache. I'm alert but slightly off, it's not a dizzy feeling but the kinda feeling you have when you have a head cold or sinus headache and you feel as though you just need to put your head down because you moved to fast kinda feeling.
Maybe I took too many pills come to think of it I also took phentermine, vitamins, birth control and a diuretic pill. If I survive maybe I'll find that it's an iron issue. I made an appointment with my hematologist during lunch just in case. So I will just have to wait and see.I hope this doesn't have any effect on tonights workout.
Yesterday's workout was sad. I know I could have done sooo much better but I was just plain ole tired and it seemed as if I didn't have any strength. I don't know what went wrong, yesterday was a normal day, the only issue I had was that before I could head home and to the gym, I would have to stop off at the pt job for a staff meeting. I can honestly say I hate attending those meetings for several reasons: they never start on time but you have to be there on time, it disrupts everyones schedule, the supervisors don't want to hold meetings on the weekend because "it takes time away from them and their families plus they don't get paid ot". What a bunch of crap! Oh and I forgot to mention how people spend 25-45 minutes debating on topics that don't even apply to the individuals we take care of.
So after all of that nonsense I rush to the "y" while trying to drive and eat my sandwhich aka dinner. I was an hour late so that ment I would have to push it to get everything done. Neal gave me the list of exercises to do it was all of the exercises that I'm not good at. I skipped the stationary bike and went for the eliptical. I managed to do 25minutes and burn 341 calories. Even that seemed as if I was on it forever!!!
Next up were weights. I was really tired but kept trying to push myself. At one point due to Neal talking and my arms not having the strength to pull up the bars, I lost count, then I just said Forget it . I moved on to the next machine. While on the hip flex I was just in a daze, I was basically swinging my leg back and forth. Along comes Neal telling me that I needed to hold the push for 1-2 seconds. ( Ok Neal, shur-rrrr . ) LOL he must have been able to read my face because he started laughing and said something to the effect of me wanting to harm him. LOL he was right I was thinking if my foot could reach far enough I would kick him in the mouth.
I know... I know... Neal is cool and NO that was not a nice thought.. But I was hot, tired, rushed, and in a grumpy mood. Plus I had started to develop a headache. Anyway I was determined not to give up so... I kept on with my workout... Neal was just talking and talking and I was listening but not listening and not talking (LOL)
I was glad to get home and finally just rest. I went to bed around 11:30 but ended up waking up at 3:30 !!! I guess that's why I'm still beat and a bit cranky. OH well at least today is my spa day so that mean mani & pedi. At last I can R-E-L-A-X.
Yep, it was a"no-no" weekend". You know the type of weekend in which you eat everything you're not supposed to? The whole time your mind is saying No, No!!! Don't do it!! But your stomach or emotions are being a little and you end up eating all of the off limit crap anyway. I won't say I am upset about it, I just know I have to do better.
The funny thing is out of all the pizza, soda, candy, cake, etc that I consumed...none of it actually tasted good. I mean everything was just ok. I remember times when I used to eat a piece of chocolate cake whenever I was stressed out... sorta like a treat to myself. I swear that cake would melt in my mouth...it was as if I could feel the serotonin going straight into my bloodstream (LOL chocolate was my crack cocaine) but seriously this time I ate the cake and ...Nothing.
So my thought process is "it's a new weekend, a new day, and another chance to make healthier decisions. No more no-no's!
Sorry for blogging so late, I had a meeting with the boss lady. LOL But I will be checking on everyone soon.
So yesterday I went to the ymca... and my mom makes the annoucement that she will joining me. She also stated that the "y" is dead during the day and has too many kids. I didn't even know she went.
Keep pushing
So we are in the areobics room, I'm puffing away on the eliptical and my mom is on the bike. I can see out of the corner of my eye that she is getting ready to push the "cooldown" button on the stationary bike. She only had two minutes to go before the bike went into cool down mode anyway. So I convienced her to keep pedalling. She did and I was very proud of her.
Each one teach one
Next we moved on to the weight room. A few minutes later one of the girls from the aerobics room came in, she asked my mom on how to use the machines. I had to keep from butting in and being a know it all. LOL I thought about back when I showed someone how to use the equipment, and I decided to let my mom shine by explaining to the lady how certain machines work while Neal and I watched.
Once the lady was done with her routine she waved goodbye to everyone and thanked my mom for her help. She also explained how tired she was as I encouraged her by telling her she did very good today.
Work with me now
Once again it was time to work the abs. Neal gave me my weights and I did my thing, once again he layed on the floor next to me and did his workout routine (he still doesn't know that I try to match his pace) Later my mom came in and she did crunches on the exercise ball. It was cool working out with my mom and Neal. Once I finished my ab work I had to do lunges, as I proceeded to get up off the floor Neal made a statement.
"Look at all of that sweat on you"
I honestly had no clue as to what he was talking about until I took off my sweat band or stomach belt, whatever you call it. Neal and I joked about it yesterday so I figured I would wear it to the gym. I never wore it because I figured I would look silly and truth be told I only wore it this time because I was cramping and it felt good on my stomach.
It actually didn't look half bad, it kinda brought my stomach in and made me look like I had an hourglass figure. When I took it off I couldn't believe how WET my shirt was! My mom was like "the sweat is oozing from around the sweat belt". I understand what Neal ment when he said I would have to eventually start bringing a change of clothes. Once the belt was off I noticed a temperature change. I agree with him I don't want to get sick.
All in all I would say it was a good day at the gym. It felt great encouraging others, and working with friends and family. That's why I love my ymca, it's too bad that it's closing on the 22nd of this month. I hope the new larger one down the street is just as friendly .
"Has anyone asked you if you have lost weight" Neal asked as he took my measurements. I told him that others have noticed, but I don't see it too much. I won't say I'm unhappy with my results but I was expecting a little more. Neal told me that in time I will be proportionate and that I am doing good. Here are the results below
Chest: Was: 52.5 Now: 51.5
Thighs: Was: 27 Now: 26.5
Calfs: Was: 16.5No changes
Abs: Was: 47.5 Now: 46
Arms: Was: 14 No changes
Glutes: Was: 46.5Now: 45.5
Get Sweaty
He also told me that we will no start to change up my routine. I will have to work on my ABs everyday. (ok no prob) but it has to be using the ball and floor exercises. (Crap) He also said I need to sweat more so that I can burn calories, and that this will help me see results. Sweat More??? When I first started working out I would only perspire NOW.... I sweat and can't stand it. Neal said I should start bringing the following items to the gym: some vaseline, an elastic band for my waist, a Sauna Suit, towel, change of clothes, and a camera so I can take pictures everyday to see my results. "Grrrreat " I thought to myself... Now I will look like a big ball of aluminum foil plus I have to carry a bigger bag.
Neal just laughed and told me that the sauna suit is availible in black as well. He also offered to put the vaseline on my back if I needed help was he flirting or is that part of the J-O-B? LOL
Work-it out
I had arrived late to the gym and when I did Neal had stepped out, so we didn't start until late. After my measurements I only had like an hour to workout before things closed down. So I did all cardio. I did 20 minutes on the stationary bike and 20 minutes on the eliptical. I was suprised because normally my rpm is like 58. But I was determined to sweat so I sped up my pace. My short little legs were moving!!! I looked at the screen and my rpm was 68-70. I ended up burning 248 in only 20 minutes!!
Not so good
After my workout I came home, ate, and got settled in. Once my mom came in we started chatting. It was at that point I started feeling "weird". I felt dizzy as if the room was spinng. I went straight to my room and immediately climed into bed. I closed my eyes and I held on to the bars of my canopy bed (thinking that would help stop the spinning) eventually I dozed off but I still feel kinda weird today. Any suggestions to what it could be? Maybe TOM has me outta wack.
I'm not so sure if I'm excited to meet up with Neal and get my measurements taken this evening. I have once again thwarted my attempts at nice measurments. My body is blowing up..... NO not like Ka-Boom, more like SWOOHHPFFF.
See it all started yesterday at lunch. I knew I would be eating soup and fruit but did I have to add the grill cheese sandwich?? Then to top it off when I went home I ate a bowl of cereal. Well not exactly a bowl... more like a tupperware container. Ok, ok so it wasn't that big but bigger than the average size bowl.
After that I ran some errands, It was hard because I could barely sit comfortably in the car my stomach was so tight . It was already bad enough my zipper was zippedup but I had to leave my button undone. Anywhoo about 4 hours later I found myself returning home and in search of something. I ended up eatting one leftover bbque rib from some cookout on Sat.
Looking back at my food choices I should have known better. Dairy products don't sit right with my digestive system at all. That and bread tends to make me bloated. So I spent most of the night in pain and with sorry guys... gas (I knowTMI) but it gets worst. I think something was wrong with the rib so it was a double wammy. I had as my godchildren like to say " had to do number 3" LOL for most of the night .
So as I type this I am sitting here trying to recoup but TOM has shown up. Oh well I guess I will just have to keep my fingers crossed for tonight.
I want to say "Thank-you" so much to everyone who showed support after reading my blog yesterday. I was trying my hardest not to cry while I was typing it. Today I feel much better, I know I just have to take things one day at a time.
You never forget.....
Well I returned to the gym yesterday afraid that my mind and body would forget everything I've learned. I still can't believe I've missed a whole week! Well I jumped up on the Bike and ...... THE REST WAS HISTORY.
I did 20minutes on the stationary bike without any problems, then I jumped on the eliptical. I keyed the machine for 15 minutes and once 15 minutes were up I KEPT GOING!!! Tes me the girl who at first could barely do 5 minutes. LOL
I saw Neal and we chatted a bit while we worked out. He had me do some ab/floor exercises. We both layed down on the floor side by side and used the weights to do curls. At first I felt dumb, but I saw Neal out the corner of my eye . I noticed his pace was faster than mine...so I became determined to match him. I picked up my pace and felt the burn.
After my workout, I told Neal that he would be taking my measurements on my next visit. So I will let you know once I get the results.
She knew it would never work between them because he really wasn't her type, but he reminded her of someone she knew long ago and far away. See he liked and needed someone to talk to and she was the listening type. Although they clashed at times the more time they spent together, everyone could see what it was that they were trying to deny.
Long hours and situations they endured brought them closer and closer together. They each thought they had found a friend. Curiosity eventually came in the form of a dare. Excitment had long left our heroine's life. Seven days of work combined with five days of working out and no active social life left her stressed out, tired, and often with a scowl on her face.
Eventually they crossed the line. It went on for a while and they really didn't care both living in their own fantasy world it was their secret that they would share. But sometimes unbeknownst to him; he would remind our heroine of men in her life who had come and gone. She thought she was strong and past all the hurt and pain from previous attempts at love. Until that day that he told her he would be getting married.
At first she was fine, because she knew that THEY were not a couple. He even told her that she could come to his batchellor party. Yes she played it cool, but later she called to give him a piece of her mind. She felt hurt, and abandoned. He thought she would be happy for him and in all honesty she really was, but she explained to him of how a past beau that she courted for 6 years left her for someone else he adored. She gave that beau everything and lifted him up so high.... It's funny because that same beau moved on from the crazy girl and found someone new. He too is soon to be "married". Ever since that day she has felt betrayed by the Forces That Be. She gives so much of herself and gets so little in return.
So we return now to our heroine. She's upset, hurt and mad. She's hurt because it seems that she is the last one standing, the one that won't find a mate because she lets her previous baggage and self esteem issues get in the way of things. She knows a man doesn't define her but sometimes she is tired of being alone. If she could just get past being shy, or tune her "creep" radar up a knotch.
Instead of holding her head high she ends up in situations like the one above. She really can't blame him because she knew she shouldn't of induldged. But she had become comfortable, she should have been on guard. She's not really sure if has feelings for him or if it's just that she doesn't want their special bond to end. She's mad because she couldn't handle the situation in an adult like manner. She's mad because she blew up when they discussed things on the phone. She saddend because she's upset him. See lonliness/lust/bordom can be blinding.
They have discussed the situation several times since now, and they have decided to go back to being friends, he says he's hurt and she is still holding things within. One time during a discussion he asked "why was she drinking"? She told him it was to mellow out but really she wanted a release.
There were sooo many things she needed to be released from...See weight just wasn't the only issue, it was so much more going on ; the fact that she didn't feel like she could accomplish things, that her life was based off of too many family decisions and her need to always be the good daughter . She was tired working two dead end jobs to make ends meet, tired of hearing from friends "You will find him someday", tired of men telling her "how she is everyman's dream" yet she is still alone...she is tired of not being able to travel and learn different languages, tired of trying to get back into school, tiired of not being adored. Just plain ole tired.
Somedays are harder than others, funny thing is she can really accomplish all this an more if she just beleived in herself and cared less about others.
So now the story is up in the air... I can't tell you how it'll end. I just know that somethings end here, today, right now..... no more crying, no more hurting, no more drinking, no more skipping meals, no more sabbatoging (sp?)self. It ends TODAY!!!!!!!!!
I'm right with you Julie.
I know I have to do better. 
'ed my small gym. I am not to thrilled about going to a larger facility but I'm not going to complain... (unless they give me a reason
)
. Plus I thought my truck only needed an oil change and alignment.... NOPE... now the A/C wants to blow out hot air 
and my CD player is chewing up my CD's
. Last but not least it's my moms Birthday. I feel sorta bad because she will be going to work on her b-day plus I did buy her a nice ring but she has already seen it. I guess what I'm trying to say is... I don't want to ignore my mom and it would be so nice to get away but there is so much to do here. 
start to pop up in my head. You know the ones that tell you 
. So I put it on, along with a white tee and made my way to the gym. 
Let's just say that I'm glad no one else was in the room because I had a lot of thigh exposed. Plus to make matters worse, the aerobics room is facing the parking lot. And someone was in their car !!!! 
!!! I couldn't believe my eyes. It seems like I am stuck between 232 and 229. Why can't those stupid 3 pounds leave me alone. 
telling me that I needed to hold the push for 1-2 seconds. ( Ok Neal, shur-rrrr 