I fear I've lost track of this blog! Opps!! I also blog here as RockinonPhen.
Anyway... I got down to 181.something which was great. I accomplished that by April/May and then May/June had some issues going on. A cervical cancer scare, a broken heart to mend and then my body readjusting to birthcontrol. So I wound up gaining about 10-15 pounds. BOO!
I also lost my workout routine. Funny it takes 3 weeks to get into something and a day to lose that routine. I wish it was the other way around.
So I'm here to say I'm back!! For good.
I've set some goals since I was lucky enough to get another script for phentermine from my doctor. It really does help and the lower the scales goes the easier it is for me to do something about the weight before it creeps up high. I was fearful I'd creep back into the 200's and if that would have happened I'd die. I can't go back!!!
So this mornings weigh in was 191.something which is HUGE for me because it's close to the 180's! :)
I'm going to lay out my goals!! Get Ready! Set! Goals!!!!
Monday I stood at 194.0 or something similar, depends on the scale!!
I started my phen and along with it I started tracking my food eaten. I'm not omitting anything I'm just being careful. I started tracking my food intake at SparkPeople and don't freak if I'm over calories for the day and if I'm under I don't run to the fridge to eat more. :)
I've found I'm good with deadlines, when there is a deadline approaching I'm more focused and more 'in the game'.
So here is the plan. I want to be down to 170 by my Birthday which is 2 months away. It's November 21. New Moon comes out the day before and I have a 'Team Edward' T I'd love to wear but it's sorta tight. no this is not why I want to be to 170! :)
I figure 2lbs a week is the max they say to lose and given I'm on phen I may lose more in the beggining and then it will taper off until I do more to lose.
I just want to be there because had I not gained that weight mentioned above I could be close to 170 right this moment. I don't remember my weight after 140ish, so I don't remember what it was like being 170, I know I wasn't happy but at the time it was my highest weight. Now that I know what it's like to be 234 being my highest weight... 170 looks amazing. :) So it's a good goal. I wanted to pick something resonable but have a day and not just some random day to get there.
Secondly my Bigger goal being 150, should I stay on the 2lbs a week track I should obtain that by February 14th! Valentines Day! How freakin great is that?! I can actually LOOK FORWARD to Valentines Day this time around!!! But once again it's not just some random day! :)
Ultimate goal being 130 will come but from 150 it's only 20lbs and they say the last 10 or so are the hardest. 150 will be a super huge accomplishment. It seems like SO far off but that's why I have my birthday to look forward to.
I'm more motivated than ever!
I still fit in my size 16's but not nearly as well as I did back in May so once they fit nicely I'll smile proudly. :) I'll take new pictures of my loss once I reach 170, "birthday pictures" and something to be freakin proud of!:)
I bought some new pants at Old Navy, black cargoish ones that can be pulled up like capris at the bottom. I don't own any black pants and they were on sale for $20, originally $30 so I got them. These pants are not numbered they are lettered. Grr. They are draw string which I didn't like but I LOVE the pants so I got them. I debated going for the XL vs the L because the XL were very comfy and fit but were baggy in the thigh and should more weight be shed they will look sloppy and I'm not going for the sloppy look. Secondly the L's were tight in the thigh and butt area showing off the worst part of me, my thighs that touch. I walked way with the L's because I WILL fit into them, it's not THAT far off! :)
More motivation! I can wear my black pants with my Twilight T!! :)
I've been a mess lately with my starting, restarting, getting back on track, goals, etc. I say I'll do but then I don't do. It's so much work, it's mentally exhausting, I get lost in life and say I'll do it, then I remember and say I'll do it, vicious never ending cycle in which nothing is getting done.
It's 2009. I'm 194 or 193.something or other. I'm a few pounds up from my most recent weigh in, mainly due to my lack of taking my meds right and eating wrong. I take full responsibility.
Now that it's a new year I feel refreshed, I'm looking forward after having reflected back.
My 2007 resolution was to lose and keep off 20 pounds, instead I believe I gained back the weight I lost plus 10 pounds and then was at the bottom starting over again on Phen, the last 2 months of the year, so I did lose but it wasn't 20 pounds.
My 2008 resolution was to lose and keep of 20 pounds, if you can't do it right the first time, TRY AGAIN! This time I lost and kept off 20+ pounds, including what I lost in the last months of 2007.
I'm proud.
However, I'm not done. I can be proud as long as I don't let it get in the way of reality.
I'm not done yet, I'm a work in progress.
As 2009 continues I have many things ahead of me, I've made 9 resolutions, quite a lot since I have yet to come in contact with anyone IRL that has even ONE resolution.
Upon looking at my list of resolutions I see a pattern. My daughter is 6 and learning about patterns in school, so I now notice patterns more as well.
My pattern? It seems my pattern in 2009 is Me working on Me.
Self Improvement.
What an idea! :)
I didn't do these resolutions intentionally they were things I felt needed to be worked on and were all doable.
2009 is my year for SELF IMPROVEMENT
That feels good to write, because that's exactly what I'm ready for. It's a slight challenge and some things are easier said than done but I will persevere. Could 2009 be the year that all 9 of my resolutions will be checked off as completed? We shall see! :)
Ok, my resolutions:
1. Get down to 150 and maintain!!! 2. Run 1 mile w/o stopping/dying. 3. Take kick boxing class. 4. Give up soda. 5. Take a road trip 6. Get a life, meet new people, date, etc! 7. See 4 movies w/o my child. 8. Spend more time outside Spring/Summer/Fall 9. Start a savings account & maintain.
44 pounds may be a little out there in means of a goal but it's possible with hard work and determination. By getting into better shape I should be able to run 1 mile without stopping, I can run about 1/2 a mile now without stopping. Taking a kick boxing class ties in with taking a road trip, 2 things I've wanted to do but haven't, they involve me stepping out of my comfort zone and trying new things. Give up soda, this will by far be the hardest one but the health benifit will be wonderful, no extra wasteful calories and more $'s in my pocket. Getting a life, well that will be intresting, I'm just so insecure in my apperance that I stick close to home and don't date. Seeing movies w/o my child, sounds cruel but really it's me needing time away for myself, with friends, alone etc. I'm always with her. If she's not at school we're together. Spending more time outside will help prevent me from sitting on my butt in front of the tv or pc, it will help keep me active and get fresh air in my lungs. Finally the savings account, also self improvement and not something I'm good at but I can do it!!!
My year of self improvement, looks so promising!! :) I can not wait!
I'm working on my last semester of school, it starts in 3 weeks. I have 2 classes to finish for my degree, in addition to those I needed a few more credits so I'm taking Phys Ed, I will benifit from this and I'm really looking forward to it! :)
I'm also joining a gym on Monday so I can start getting in the groove of moving more and sitting less. I'm not sure what to expect of Phys Ed exactly so I want to be better prepared. As the winter months come to an end there may not be a need for a gym membership, but if that's what it takes to keep me motivated I will maintain the membership!
In order to fully show the hard work I've put into myself the last 14 months, I've included in my pictures section an 'after' picture or two(not sure how many go in there as I'm putting them in after this is posted). In no way am I done yet, still in progress!!!
I'm setting better goals for the next 6 months so I can look forward to them and also have an idea what I'll be come summer time as long as I stick with the goals and staying focused I'll be just fine.
Phentermine has been working for me now that the doctor and I have come to an understanding that ker keeping me on it for 6 straight months without loss didn't mean I sihould be taken off of it for good.
I read forums and many ppeople had sucess when they were on 2 months and off 1 month so we gave it a try. I took a month off and have been on it 2 months and have lost about 15 pounds since.
I'm close to my 1 month off which is scary for me as I don't want to gain any weight back during that time but it must be done so we shall see.
I weighed in this morning, a day early since I don't always remember Monday mornings since I'm so tired. My daughter started Kindergarten so we have to be up an hour earlier than usual. Well my weight this morning was 197.8, not too shabby at all.
I can't remember the last time I was below 200, I know for a fact it was before being pregnant with my daughter so nearly 6 1/2 years ago. I don't know if I was ever under 200 after having her, I know I was 207 at one point.
I'm feeling better, I love to go walking with my daughter and my neighbors, I walk their dog for them often when they can't or when I was too busy to walk with them, they allow me to take her for an extra walk. She's still a puppy and has endless amounts of energy so they appreciate it.
I"ve started up classes again this semester so I Have a different schedule than I'm use to. I'm also trying to adjust my work hours but that's been impossible so I'm struggling with 15 hour work weeks which amounts to 60 hours a month and honestly that's not enough money to pay my bills. In fact if we want to get really picky it pays all my bills exactly with nothing left to spare. By bills I mean car payment, car insurance, phone and roadrunner. I can also fill my gas tank twice in that time but then I'm flat ass broke. I should be stressed but I feel everything will work out. It's too late to drop school, which I wouldn't do anyway.
It's just time to find a new job and hope that they can accomodate my hours and pay me close to what I'm currently making. I will take a slight pay cut if it means I can get the hours I need.
I've been finding with all that stress on my plate that weight is the one thing I can control. I've always known that, I've always heard that. I've always heard people say that when they speak of anorexcis and bulemics but was like....how do you control that when you love food and eat junk? Now I see it more clearly. I'm on control of what and how much I put in my mouth. So if I want to continue to see a loss and make it to my goal and stay at that weight I need to be more cautious of what I eat, how much of it or pay the consequences. So if I have a bonfire and eat 4 smores I won't go to hell, I won't nessecarily gain 10 pounds over night but I can't go eating crap like that for a long while unless I want to gain a few pounds and relose them all over again.
It's allowed me the opportunity to see that I can splurge once in awhile, have sweets or junk or something not 'healthy/good' at a party or family function and not feel like a fat cow. It just means that's the one time for that week that I can enjoy something like that, unless I really over did it then it will be longer than a week. I may not see as much loss but as long as I don't see a gain I'm doing well.
So there it is. I'm losing, I'm happy and it's working. I came on to 'steal' my pictures as this is the only place they are stored as I'm too ashamed to have them anywhere else, including my desktop.
I started Phentermine on November 1st. My doctor asked if I wanted to take something to aid in weightloss, she knows my weight bothers me and it should as I'm not even close to a healthy weight.
So I've been on on it and so far so good.
I weighed in yesterday and again this morning. I've lost a total of 7 pounds so far.
Before anyone says it's not good to lose that much in a week it's pretty normal on phentermine especially in the beggining. Phentermine works with your body so you're not always shoving food in your mouth and it actually works. I have to remind myself to eat. I don't usually consume more than 1300 calories a day.
I'm suppose to work out daily if possible but have been so busy with work and school that I find working out hard to add into my already hectic schedule not to mention I'm on my feet all day at work running around, by the time I get everything done at home all I want to do is rest. I start my second week on phen tomorrow and will begin to add in more excersize. I have 5lb hand weights I'm going to use to tone up my underarm flab and I also have a few videos I could work on. For sure if it's not raining kiddo and I will take a walk around the block before dinner. We will continue to do that until snow falls.
I'm also a member at Spark People. I'm torn as to which place to write in and track everything because EP is where I started, I like the simplicity of it and the activity log is 100 times better than on SP and I like that EP tracks all of the measurements. SP on the other hand is easier to enter food into and delete should you no longer have a food as a fave but unless you do cardio or some other work out you can't keep track or workouts, at least I can't. They don't allow me to enter that I scrubbed the floor for 20 minutes...etc. I also get more comments on my blog here than I do there, which is really something everyone needs! However this Gold and Silver member crap is just ridiculous, the site was better before all that nonsense.
My insurance company is covering Phentermine, it's not our first choice but it was our second.
I have looked up the side effects, I'm just waiting to start the meds. I will start them on Thursday when I'm at work because I won't be alone and I'll already have driven. :)
I'm also waiting to find a good CURRENT source to see how people are doing on the med, what they are doing to lose, etc.
I'm not really sure of the expected loss. My doctor just said to cut calories drastically, excersize at least 5 times a week although she'd like to see me excersize 7 days a week. She's forgetting I'm a single mom holding down a job and going to school.
I'm giving dieting another go, I start tomorrow, I have most of my stuff moved over to SparkPeople since everything is free. EP use to be free when I started I guess it's all about the money now. I'm going to continue using what I can on this site for as long as I can since I do like it and it's where I started.
I stand at 234 pounds, I gained back everything plus 10. It's rough. I did my measurements today, I was so angry with myself.
I've got a group of people from a blog site that will help keep me motiveated and on the right track. I've dusted off my work out DVDs and already have meal plans set for the week.
I've started school so I'm juggling that with work and parenting, it's not a huge challenge at the moment but I am spreading myself thin, I need to take more ME time and not ME LAZY time.
I'm going to try and stay under 1550 calories a day, I'm going to try to eat fiber and protien rich foods, that's the goal for now. I'm not really omitting anything besides soda at the moment. I've always felt that you shouldn't restrict foods for fear of binging and the fact that once you've reached your goal you should be able to eat what you want within reason.
I will be drinking water and carrying around Special K2O protien water packets for when I get hungry. I'd like t be down to about 210ish when my birthday rolls around in late november. What would be even nicer is to be 200 by Christmas. It's going to take a lot of work and serious determination.
I also need to get over the 'I look stupid doing this workout' factor since I work out in front of my child and she knows no different.
I'm set to start a new diet tomorrow. I was getting all the counting of calories out of the way- etc. Unfortunatly extrapounds over hauled the entire food log thing so bad since the last time I've used it, that it's not even worth tracking it here. It's taken me 10 minutes to just add breakfast, snack and part of lunch. What a hassle! It use to be so much simpler.
I plan on tracking calories, fat grams, protien and fiber. I'll stick to the tried and true paper and pen method. Meanwhile I'll search for a new nest to park my butt in and track all my info.
So as I said above, I'm starting a new diet tomorrow. I've officially gained back just about everything I lost last year. I plan on sticking with this inevitably. 1.500 calories a day, max 1,650 a day. I am entitled 1 cheat meal a week. I know...what's the point right? Well I figure I can save this day for when a friend wants to go out to eat, we have a family get together or when I don't feel like cooking and I opt for something simpler. Yes, I know simple isn't very healthy, which is why it's called a CHEAT MEAL. Accprding to info I've found I can lose 40lbs by OCtober 30th if I stick to about 1,650 calories. I won't reach my ultimate goal which is to be 150lbs but it's a huge start and it bypasses my halfway point. :)
64 ounces of water is what I'll be pushing as well as lower calorie foods, protien and fiber rich foods as well. I plan on being as balanced as I can.
I have a work out regimine I need to work on as I'm so out of pratice. I will walk 3 miles 4-5 times a week, this of course will have to be worked on slowly. I use to push my 4 year old in a stroller near my home in a subdivision for about 45 minutes. 4 times around this area and it was equal to 3 miles. 4 laps=3 miles=45 minutes. :)
As well as the walking I will be doing 10-minute pilates on odd days and yoga for begginers on even days. As I master these and grow bored with them I will substitute them with others. I figure I should get my grip around these 2 videos first before attempting other things. I'm usually tempted to quit pretty easily.
Now if that wasn't enough I'd also like to use my hand weights to work on deflabbing my arms. I will do this as often as I see fit, when I have time.
My work scedule is the same as the past so I'm pretty busy, I'll have to find a way to work things out so I can squeeze everything in. I might fit the video in before work, we shall see.
I now work 5 days a week, 4 of those days are 8.5 hour shifts and the 5th day is a 5 hour shift. there are 3 days for sure that excersize in any form should not be an issue unless I procrastinate.
I'm trying to keep with the trying something new thing. To date I've tried green pepers and still do not like them. I've tried fish and it turns out I do like it. I've tried brown rice but find it long to cook, chewy and not all that bad- it's the cooking time that gets me. I've tried fruit and veggie chips for variety, not bad but not very low cal. I have also tried prunes for the first time yesterday. I'm not a fan of raisins except in cereal. They taste like giant raisins and I will continue to eat them. I have yet to try brocolli, sweet potatoes or frozen mixed veggies. I like veggies, but not a fan of the frozen mixed stuff. I'd also like to try and incorporate chickpeas however not low cal and barley into home made soups. Any simple recipes or suggestions?! I'll take them!!!
I have got to be one of the worst dieters on the planet. I want to lose weight and I know the reasons I want to lose weight and yet what do I do?! Not a damn thing. I still sit around the house too tired from work to work out or do anything extra. If I wasn't on the go at work taking care of 4-8 kids for 8.5 hours I wouldn't be so damn tired and I'd even have time for my own child. I've picked up hours at my job so I only have weekends off now.
I tried the WW thing and failed miserably because by night I was HUNGRY! Like rip of your leg and eat it hungry!
I'm going to start tracking what I eat again. I'm going to just chart it and see how many calories I'm bring in a day. I actually have no idea how many I consume a day. I just know that since I went off dieting in October I've only gained 6 lbs back and not one pound in the last 3 months.
Once I know what I'm eating calorie wise and I can see over a week what I've put into my body I can better analyse what I need to do. I'm going to also track the work I do, start wearing a pedometer so I can see how much I move in an average day. I'm going to start regularly working out to something, anything at this point. I'm going to push water more and more and keep fruits and veggies in the house.
I look forward to spring because I can go walking again and push a stroller down the road and walk my 3 miles in 40 minutes. I felt so good when I did that.
Something needs to give. Summer is coming and at this rate I'll be wearing the same old rags I've been wearing, I won't have the need for new clothes because nothing new will help my body the way it is. No need to flatter a figure that I don't have.
I'm cheating and having friends get me what I need from Weight Watchers. I just can't afford to pay to attend meetings and be weighed in. My friend is a member and she gave me all her old stuff she doesn't need and picked up a slider for me. Another friend of mine is also doing WW, she just started. So if I have questions I ask them or I post elsewhere for help.
Today was day one. I allowed myself 28 points based off of a friends point scale. Anyway... I managed 27 points today. I did quite well. I was only hungry twice today and I ate snacks and was fine until meal time. And with it being day one I'd like to post what I ate, since quite honestly I have no idea how to put it on the foods log. I have started a notebook to track my points. I am sort of curious how many calories I'm raking in a day, I'd like to keep track of that, I shall start tomorrow. After all I did lose 21 pounds counding calories, unfortunatly I gained back like 7 pounds over the course of 3.5 months. Not too bad.
Anyway...food intake today:
Bfast- oatmeal 3pts, water, orange 1pt Snack- granola bites 2pts Lunch- salad w/3oz cheese and 2 servings meat 5 pts, tomatoes 0pts, grapefruit juice 3 pts Snack-fat free pringles 14 of them 1pt, Hersheys pretzel bar 2pts Dinner- dinty moore beef stew 3 pts, 2 pieces wonder bead light 1pt, 1 tablespoon country crock 1pt and 1 cup leftover spaghettios 3 pts Bedtime snack- 1 can tomato juice 0 pts Visit to Starbucks 2pt
My total for the day was 27 points.
I babysat tonight so I was sort of tempted to eat crap but I didn't, I'm proud of myself. :)
I also babysit tomorrow night so I need to pack a big dinner. I've already started my menu for tomorrow so I can stay on track with points. :D
