Want 2 be me again

From 160 kgs (352 lbs) to healthy

My Profile

  • Name: want2bemeagain
  • City: Hamilton
  • Region: New Zealand
  • Country: New Zealand

My Weight Loss

Height: 163.0cm
Start weight: 160.00kg
Current weight: 130.60kg
Goal weight: 119.00kg
Lost to date: 29.40kg
Remaining: 11.60kg

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Really Simple Syndication
10/07/2010 22:45

Weigh in and Measurements

8 October 2010 -Friday
 
I must say I am a little disappointed today.
 
I am disappointed as I have tracked YES.... reallllyyyyyy have.
 
I have been to curves every day and I have also been walking at night.... ohhhh please don't tell me muscle as I cannot take that. 
 
I gained 300 grams grrrrrr.... I really tried grrrrrrr.... I was tempted to say my weigh in days will be Saturdays because Friday just isn't working for the work I have done this week.
 
I am not giving up though because I have been great and my work mates know it and I know it and it will show up next week won't it?
 
So here are the yukky results.
 
 
Highest Weight: 160 kgs
Last weeks weight: 130.3 kg
This weeks weight: 130.6 kg
Loss or Gain: 300 grams gained grrrr
Total Loss: 29.4 kgs
 
Goal for next week is: 129.9 kgs
 
First Goal: 119 kgs (11.6 kgs to go)
Second Goal: 112 kgs (18.6 kgs to go)
Third Goal: 99 kgs (31.6 kgs to go)
Goal: 75 kgs (55.6 kgs to go)
 
Focus is what I need to do.  Focus on the fact that I might have lost inches/cm's.  I am going to go to curves today NOT to work out as I have done 4 days in a row but to take my measurements and my weight with them which won't be good as it has been a month since and I was weighing less last time I was there... measurements might be down though.
 
.......................................
 
Ok off the weight..... kids are on school holidays for the last 2 weeks and my mum looks after them but she doesn't drive so they don't really go anywhere but the mother in law tries to come and take them out once a week (she is a teacher and has holidays off) my mum is 79 you would think she would help us a little more.....
 
But anyway you know how last week I was upset knowing that my mother and the sister in law to be are going swimming together well last Friday my MIL came and got my boys to go to lunch with her (which is lovely don't get me wrong) but they went to lunch over the road from where I work and they went to lunch with the SIL and MIL and BIL..... but they couldn't be bothered asking me.... it hurt so much.  It still hurts to know she probably doesn't even realise how it hurts....  I was just across the road.... why couldn't I be invited?  I have tried so hard to be nice to this woman and I am the one always buying the xmas and birthday presents and inviting her to dinner.... but she couldn't ask me to lunch.
 
Yesterday she took the boys to the museum to see the dinosaurs and when I got home my mum said "your MIL said they bumped in to SIL and grandson at the museum" sorry but the grandson is 2 months old it isn't like he could see anything and yet again my MIL invited the daughter in law to be and not me.....
 
I feel really down in the dumps about it and can't get it out of my head.  21 years of trying to be nice to this woman even after all the nasty things she has done and this SIL to be comes in and she is the bees knees.
 
It hurts.
 
 
UPDATE:
 
Went to Curves for my month weigh in and measurement.
 
Weight: 131.20 kgs down to 130.50 kgs
- Down 700 grams from last month (better than gaining aye)
 
Measurements
Bust - 118.50cm - Lost 3 cm
Waist - 119 cm - Lost 8 cm
Abdomen - 140 cm - Lost 4 cm
Hips - 144 cm - Lost 2cm
Thighs x 2 - 143 cm - Lost 2cm
Arms x 2 - 83 cm - stayed the same
Body Fat 50% GEE YA THINK LOL
BMI was 49.50 and now 49.23  - 0.26 down and I am happy about that as it is coming down.
Total of 19 cm lost.... OMG
 
I am happy about this. 
 
It still gets me why on earth you can lose no weight but your measurements change..... life is weird.
 
I have been told that I am on Phase 3 now of the Curves book and they want to weigh me at least 3 times next week arghhhhhh sole destroying LOL

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10/03/2010 10:34

Bad choices but trying to combat that now....

Sunday 3 October 2010
 
Weekend choices were not that great.
 
Decided today that I would go for a walk as far as could because I needed to make up for the bad choices while visiting Auckland for the day as I had to take my mum to a 50th Wedding Anniversary party... we left her there and took the kids to Mission bay and walked the dog then got take away Indian which isn't the best choice either.
 
The walk was 4.8km woohoooo it was fantastic having my head phones on and the dog and we just went for it.  I loved it.  Beautiful sunny day and time to myself.
 
When I haven't tracked the day before the choices have been bad... that isn't good at all.
 
Monday 4 October 2010
 
Crap the choices were bad and it is showing in the scales today but that is ok.... all down from here no more
 
Went to curves today even though I had a really sore shoulder and decided instead of doing the arms ones I will run on the stop for those so that I still got a workout. Sweated like a pig.
 
Will update later with how things are going.  I am tracking and exercising and I have my Ceroc dancing tonight too wohoo.
 
 
 
 

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10/01/2010 03:56

Weekly Weigh In

Official weigh in for me is Friday's:
 
Highest Weight: 160 kgs
Last weeks weight: 130.5 kg
This weeks weight: 130.3 kg
Loss or Gain: 200 grams
Total Loss: 29.7 kgs
 
Goal for next week is: 129.8 kgs
 
First Goal: 119 kgs (11.3 kgs to go)
Second Goal: 112 kgs (18.3 kgs to go)
Third Goal: 99 kgs (31.3 kgs to go)
Goal: 75 kgs (55.3 kgs to go)
 
Ok it wasn't much of a loss but it was 200 grams.
 
I wasn't going to go to Curves this morning as work has been a nightmare but decided stuff it I am going to go and burn it off. 
 
Thought I was doing really bad at it and struggled with it today but before I started the machine said they had up'd my reps or something like that so the whole time I thought I was struggling and doing bad but when I put my key in the computer at the end I had did better than the goal for every machine and I did well... go figure.
 
The whole time around I thought I am going to lose this weight I just need to keep going at it and not let the nasty food part get in the way.
 
So my weigh in for this week is down and dusted and my goal is set for next week and we shall see what happens.

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09/29/2010 21:17

Friday weigh in's what do you think?

My muscles are a little sore today after 2 days in a row going to Curves.  But it is a good sore so that is great.  I felt great going but I think every second day for me is better. 

 

So yesterday morning at 7am I went to Curves then work 8 hours at work (Area Manager away, person who was supposed to be doing her job away, then another one that was back away ) so yes......... you guessed it... I was doing my job, Area Managers job and the other 2 as well!!!!! Screaming time here.

 

I have enough work of my own let alone doing theirs but hey I sort of coped.  I got home and was exhausted but being the mum I am I had my son's 9th birthday dinner to get done and when they went to bed I was up in bed too.  DH said that I was snoring when he got up NEVER I say NEVER lol.

 

Was a great sleep.

 

I have been really good with food and with exercise in the last 2 days but today's weight was 130.6 kg - 287.3lbs (yesterday was 130.1kg - 286.2 lbs) what is up with that.  Why do we fluctuate so much.  I never used to weigh myself everyday but then when I don’t weigh myself I go off thinking I am doing fantastically and it piles on even more.  What to do… What to do…

 

I need to have an official weigh in day.  I used to be a Friday and then went to a Monday and then a Wednesday.  Think I might have my official weigh in day as a Friday.  Anyone want to join me? 

 

We have been walking every night since Tuesday with the boys for 40 minutes and it has been great.  Doing Curves in the morning and walking at night has a bit of a draw back though that I am sooo buggered by dinner and don’t have the energy to do things with the boys but I am getting back in to this weight loss and I am going to lose this weight.

 

In the last month we have eaten out too much I think and that is why I am feeling so bloated and out of control.  We need to start eating in and eating fresh EVERYTHING instead of the crap you get from restaurants.

 

So tomorrow is going to be my weigh in day FRIDAY.  I want to be 130 kgs (286 lbs) tomorrow so today I am going to be really good.  Then for the Friday after that I want to be 129.5 kgs (284.9 lbs) small steps… small steps.

 

Thanks for listening to my rambling on.

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09/29/2010 04:13

My son's birthday

It is my youngest boys birthday today.  He is 9 OMG he is 9... times goes so fast I just can't believe it.  It is school holidays and I am working so we are going to have a special birthday dinner for him tonight.  We got him a stereo that can play MP3's, CD's, USB, IPods as well.... cool little thing.
 
I have been tracking my food today and I went to curves this morning so food has been great and exercise has been great and I feel great getting back in to it.
 
I have my goal of my friends second wedding and the round the bridges and now we are going to plan a little holiday with the kids this time next year so I want to be able to go on the theme park rides so lets se what I can do.
 
Yay I feel great when I am on track and I am exercising it is just getting myself back on track that I find hard.

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09/28/2010 10:43

Get it off my chest

Had to come online to get it off my chest because I ate a chocolate bar.  I was going so well until that.  I ate a chocolate bar CRAP.....  I am an emotional eater damn it.  I ate the chocolate tonight over something stupid.. but I am logging it because I want to learn from it.  I knew I shouldn't eat the chooclate as I was at 20 points (out of the 26 I am allowed) and so the chocolate made it to 30 points today grrrrr. 
 
But I need to learn from this.  I need to find out why I do it.  I know why I ate the chocolate this time but I need to work on not eating the crap when I am upset..
 
I am upset because the BIL came over tonight with the nephew... I don't have anything against him I just hate is fiancee... with a passion I might add.  I don't hate many people but this witch boils my bubble.  I have liked every other girl he has been with but I cannot stand this controlling woman who has been a nightmare to us and the family.  She is manipulating and when we were on holiday last year she ruined our holiday that I got home kissed the ground and went in to the toilets at the airport and cried like anything where a lady was asking if I was ok.  I don't want to go in to the things this bitch did but I don't want to know her.
 
She has my MIL wrapped around her little finger.  You know I have been with my DH for 21 years and in those years I have tried and tried to do everything for my MIL like me... LIKE ME and not say black with I say white etc.  I always make sure she gets what she asks for for Xmas and I am the one that reminds DH about her birthday and invites her for dinner but never NEVER has she asked me to do anything in the 21 years I have been around.
 
Tonight I found out every Tuesday she goes swimming with Annabelle the bitch from hell.  I am not smart enough, skinny enough for my MIL and it hurts.  It makes me hate Annabelle even more than I do at the moment.  Miss perfect that has her own business, has the perfect child, the perfect body, knows 6 languages and love the environment and is an environmentalist and makes lots of money.  She is perfect and I am not... and never will be.
 
For 21 years I have tried everything and today it got to me.  It got to me that she is swimming with the MIL... she doesn't need to try.  You know every year we invite my MIL to Christmas at our place and we do everything EVERYTHING but this year I want to go away.  I want to get away and not be here for Christmas and Fk her but with my mother living with us we can't go away as she is 79 and is stuck in her ways but I don't want to invite my MIL or BIL to Christmas... I mean what do I do?
 
I needed to get this out if I am going to lose this weight.
 
I really need to get this weight off..
 
I don't know what to do... honestly I feel really depressed about it all.

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09/28/2010 03:33

I know I know.... kick my backside

I know it has been over a month and I haven't posted.  I had my son's birthday,  my 40th birthday and then I got sick with the flu for a week which was scary.
 
Boss is away on annual and the person that was supposed to be in charge is away so now I am in charge and I certainly don't get paid enough for this. 
 
Decided that with the stress I was still going to go to Curves and do my workout so made an appointment with my workmate to go at 7am this morning and every morning until Saturday to curves.
 
Food choices have sucked big time over this last month but this mornign I was 130.5 so that isn't too bad considering the horrible food and lack of exercise.
 
So I am back in full force my friends.  I have made some goals.  I am going to do Round the Bridges with my husband on the 21st November and the is 6.4km walk and it is up and down hills so it will be exciting.  We started practicing last night and went for a 4.8 km walk (almost died to be honest as I haven't walked in a while) and tonight we will go for another walk.  I have also been to Curves this morning and did my workout.
 
I brought a notebook to put in my purse to put all the food that goes in my mouth and I am going to WW point it to keep on track.
 
I am determined but September is a HUGE nightmare for me every year and I just had to let it pass.
 
So one goal is to do the Round the Bridges - Walk/Run
Another goal is to lose 18 kgs before March 2011 for a friends wedding.
 
So that is to get to 112 kgs by end March 2011.
 
Exercise is sorted I reckon with Day Light Savings here now it is going to be fantastic to get out at night time and walk and especially when the dog wants to go anyway I won't have an excuse and training for the round the bridges it just have to happen.
 
I hope all you guys are doing well and I am so sorry I haven't been around for a while.  I need to get myself sorted.
 
 

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08/24/2010 22:02

Curves

Ok as I have previously said I need accountability and since every bloody WW leader in my area is the same lady now that my WW left I cannot stand the new one and she soooo rubs me up the wrong way and she is rude and blunt and I want to punch her.
 
So I am going to Curves today.  There I can get my accountability and I can do exercise and also weigh in and they talk about food.  I have never counted calories before and that is what they go by so I guess this is where I am going to learn some new information and maybe it will change things for me as I suck at this weight loss lately.
 
My 40th is in 3 weeks....YES 3 weeks and I don't want to be in the 130's... I want to be in the 120 kgs for that.
 
I was on the phone making an appointment and my work mate said Oh oh oh can I come... now if you ever saw this woman she is beautiful, skinny and she runs so PLEASEEEEEEE but she is going to come as she wants to do some form of exercise during the day and since we sit on our bums all day this will be great.
 
Then told my boss that we needed to come back to the office for an appointment at 12.45 she said what for? and I told her and now she wants to come OMG he he he nah I am good about it.  All good when you get the support at work I say.  I love my work mates as they are really supportive (even if I had to ask my boss to move her lolly jar from the direction of my computer screen as it was driving me insane he he.
 
I go dancing every Monday night with my boss and her partner so I get on really well with them.
 
OH oh oh oh and my Darling darling hubby brought me my dancing shoes and I have another on the way too (not cheap either) for my birthday.  I told my boss and she was upset... and I looked at her and said what is wrong and she said....GEESH woman Graeme and I were going to give you money towards the dancing shoes and I knew how much you wanted them.  I said I haven't paid for the second pair you can always go in with those so that made her happy and me to be honest he he he now I can spend some money on crafty things ha ha.
 
I have never until now had a work situation where it felt so free and easy and I got on with everyone and there was no nastyness... because I have worked with a lot of woman and even though I am one OH MAN woman can be bitches when they want to be... but this group is great.
 
So today ladies I start to get back on where I should be.
 
Monday day - Curves
Monday night - 2 1/2 dancing Ceroc
Wednesday - Curves
Friday - Curves
Saturday & Sunday doing something with the dog and kids and of course hubby like riding bikes etc
Sunday evening - workout with my friend Christine in our Garage..
 
So do you think that is enough exercise.
 
To be honest I have not got a problem with exercise I have a problem with portions, and my work mates with their food and chocolate and chippies since they are skinny you know what's.
 
The other thing I have to do is keep writing in here and commenting on others blogs because it keeps me thinking and keeps me honest.
 
Love ya.

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08/22/2010 23:05

Have to stop doing this to myself.

Hi everyone
 
I have been missing in action arghhhh. Just had a stressful couple of weeks.
 
On 1st March this year my mum was referred to the hospital for a scan on her kidneys and on the 13 May we finally got an appointment with the them and then we had to wait until the 19th August until we found the results and 2 weeks beforehand we got the letter that we had an appointment with the Renal Registrar so we were scared.  I didn't sleep much and I ate too much for those weeks and was basically not happy at all. 
 
I stopped blogging and stopped caring and I shouldn't.  I shouldn't eat my feelings at all but I did.
 
On the 8th August I started with my friend doing the home gym on a Sunday and the weighing in too and the first week I lost 700 grams and the second week I lost 200 grams but this week I think it has caught up on me and I have gained it back SIGHHHH.
 
I am going to the doctors this afternoon to get a check up and more of my pills I take and I am going to talk to her about going on Reductil and if I can with my prescription medicines because I have had enough of this.  I need to sort out my shit.
 
Anyway forgot to say that the appointment with the Renal Registrar went well and we don't have to go back.  She has a cyst on her kidneys but nothing they are worrying about as apparently older people get it but if she keeps going well then she won't have to go back.  What a relief.... I wasn't sleeping or really existing.  She is my only family left as my Dad died and also I don't have brothers or sisters.
 
Anyway......
 
On to sorting out myself.
 
This week my plan
 
  • Make appointment for Doctor about Reductil
  • Go to Curves and make an appointment to do some exercise in my lunch hours at work as it is like litterally 50 steps away from my office.  So if I do that 3 to 4 times a week at lunch I can sort out things.
  • Track.  I have a problem with tracking and maybe it is because I am lying to myself when I put it down so no one knows what I am eating?  Why I don't know because I know what I have put in my mouth. Hmmmmmm
  • Drink water and not always coffee.

    • So lets do this!!!!! I can do this!!!! 

    Thanks for the email and the private message Momma!!!!! I needed that to happen to get me back on here.

     

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    08/08/2010 07:57

    First Home Gym Weigh In

    Today is Sunday in New Zealand
     
    I had our first week of weigh in for Christine and I today.  We have a 4pm meet with each other and we do an hour of the gym but before we work out we weigh in and while we are doing our workout we talk about our focus for the week.
     
    The focus for this week was my choice and it was 1/2 of the week we don't have carbs at dinner time and the other half of the week we can have carbs.  We are going to cut down on the carbs (not get rid of them as I don't believe in that) but I have read that eating carbs at night isn't as good for you.  So we are to set out to find out if that is true.
     
    So anyway without further ado....
     
    Please remember that this isn't the weight I am putting on my weight list because it is a night time weigh in (4pm) and my weigh in's are usually in the morning with no clothes on and with the weigh in with my friend it is fully clothed (obviously lol) and after eating all day too.....
     
    Last week I was 131.6 and this week I weighed 130.9 so that is 700 grams and I am sooo happy about that as this week was a nightmare with food and exercise compaired to the previous week.
     
    Christine was not happy as she went up 2.5kgs and said that she had done well for at least 5 days this week and didn't deserve the gain... and she probably didn't I feel sorry for her it wasn't a good thing for her but the stress last week for her were terrible.  She lost a friend to cancer and it hit her hard.
     
    She was 3.5 kgs lighter than me and now we are really close. 
     
    It is a slight aim of mine (not saying this to her as I don't want to make it a competition between us) but I want to be lighter than her because for so long she was 25 kilos lighter than me and it will feel great to be the skinny one for a little longer.  I am trying for this not to sound bad... and I feel for her gaining the weight and I want her to lose the weight too but in my head it also feels good that I am not the big one. Anywhooooo.
     
    I am going to lose this!!! I am going to go down down down.
     
     

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