Weigh in # 3

Today is my 3rd weigh in day since starting this journey to a new me. And once again I suprised myself. I had a 2lb loss over the past week! :)  I guess my efforts at eating healthier are paying off, and guess what I hardly realize that I am "depriving" myself of the unhealthy junk food we all know and love. My caloric intake has been drastically reduced and so have my portion sizes. Oh and I haven't had a coke in 2 weeks, which is hard to belive because I love coke.  When we eat out, we eat healthy (subway, wraps, etc) or we cut our normal large portions in 1/2

  I hope I can keep this up, for once in my life I would like to weigh less than my boyfriend.  Oh guys I am seeing the 190s fastly approaching, and I cannot wait to say hello to them again! Today is a positive day.

Rough Day

So this was my first week back at school and it has kinda been tough. It is hard to control hunger when you are stuck in class, and I hate climbing all those stairs, they hurt my knees, but that is because I am overweight. I'm sorry I haven't really blogged but this week has just kept me super busy. That is no excuse though.

I didn't go to the gym last night, but the night before I did 3.6 miles on the treadmill. Today I am really fighting to keep myself motivated. I want one of those lazy weekends to where you don't do anything, and can lay around and eat junk. But that isn't going to happen, because that is not going to give me the body that I want. I am going to the gym Tonight and I will go Saturday for sure.

I think the hardest part of this is learning what is healthy for you to eat, and when it is okay for you to have that dessert and when to stop. The learning is just bogging me down. Not to mention the time managment issue, now that the semester has started. I mean when can I fit my hour in at the gym, plus work, plus that homework, and 200 pages of reading, oh and then there is my boyfriend.  I think I am going to start an insperation board, and paper clip chain for each pound I loose.

Guys I am 20, I can't be this way for the rest of my life.  I mean how do I explain to the love of my life that I am just not happy with what I am when he thinks I am beautiful. How do I stay motivated when he tells me I am not fat and that he doesn't understand why I am so unhappy. I mean he supports me going to the gym and wanting to be healthier, but I just don't think he understands the root of the problem because he has never been this way.  And I can't believe that I let myself get back this way, plus some.

Guys I need some, insperation, some motivation, some education and some recipes for good food.

Another Good Day + Food Tip!

Gym Recap From Last Night

• 1.5 miles on treadmill
• 4.11 miles on the bike
• .10 on the stairclimber ( hate that thing!)

Grocery Shopping Again

I went grocery shopping again today and picked up some other great stuff, and when it is divided by serving sizes I would say that I didn't do half bad.  I've come to terms with the fact that if I am going to start eating healthier I am going to have to be willing to spend the money to do it.  In the long run it is going to benifit me tremondously, and I am worth it.  I am on a mission to find good low calorie, high fiber foods...and when I find something I will post about it!

(Oh and I also had eyes made at me by a young good looking UPS guy at the Deli Counter. He started talking to me about the tv show "how its made" and then everytime I would see him aroung the store he would smile really big.  LOL I have the best man in the world, but it made me feel good that another man thought I was nice looking enough to flirt with. Especially at my weight.)

Boca Veggie Burgers

Has anyone else tried these? Let me tell you I am such a meat lover and I never thought I would say this, but I had a veggie burger today and it was wonderful! The burger itself was only 90 calories and once I added a Wheat Bun, Mustard, Ketchup and Lettuce I had a great burger for around 260 Calories! There are 4 "burgers to a package and they cost me $2.24 ( Only .37 cents per burger) at Walmart. You want to talk about one excited person...you should have seen me take that first bite. It doesn't taste just like the real thing, but is a great substitute if you ask me! This is healthy food that I can get used to.

From now on I I will try to post all the good healthy food I find, so you guys can benifit from my experimentation! Stay motivated!

 

 

 

Weigh in Day # 2 and Healthy Foods!

Good Afternoon my voluptuous vixens! I hope your Monday is off to a good start.  I know that mine is! I decided today that Mondays would be my official weigh in day because I don't have to be in class until 9am. This results in me having a much more private moment with the scale.  I was nervous this morning because I splurged over the weekend and had some french fries and later ice cream, but they were smaller helpings that I usually eat and everything else I ate was healthy. So anyhow I stepped on the scale and I lost 1.6 lbs this past week! YAY! I do not think that is bad at all for a starting week considering my approach to losing the weight.

Over the weekend I walked/jogged a totol of  5.5 miles on the tredmill on Friday and Saturday. (We took Sunday off, and should be back in the gym tonight.) I also went shopping and bought  some healthier snack and lunch foods!

Whole Grain Fig Newton Minis. Available in Strawberry or Fig  (130 cal, 2g Dietary Fiber) Wheat Pitas Whole Grain Sandwich wraps ( 100 Cal - Approved by Best Life Diet) Lettuce Garden Harvist Vegtable Chips Plain Yogurt (for smoothies) Strawberries (for smoothies) Deli Turkey Apples Oranges Rasin Bran

Thats what I have so far. Feel free to share any healthy snack foods you eat. The more options the better!

 

Day 3 and Recipe Help!

Looks like I will not be going to the gym by tonight, Tim has band pratice right after work. My muscles need a rest and I have blisters on the pads of  my feet . I will be back in the gym on Friday night though, that is a promise to myself!

Sometimes I get intimidated when I go to the gym by myself, but that is something I am going to have to get over. I am just being self concious and afraid. I cannot let myself hold me back from something that I want to do.  I can be one of those skinny minnys if I stick with it and who cares if guys look at me, I have a man that loves me how I am. 

I was feeling depressed about my weight earlier this morning, but I just keep reminding myself that I am doing something about it. I have been going to the gym the past few days that is something to be proud of. I am being active. I am accomplishing something!

A lot of my weight issue is how much Tim and I eat fast foods. I am going to have to cut those meals down dramatically if I want to lose weight. I can't eat like he does, my body is different and I have to accept that. 

Today I am looking up the nutritional information on several of the places that we eat at often. I am cutting my portion sizes and the sodas. If we eat at a fast food place I will drink water. I will not eat a large combo meal. I will order child portions and fruit (where ever available) instead of fries.  My meals from fast food places will be less than 500 calories to start, and less than 400 soon. I will choose the healthy alternative. I will not consume the calories I burn.

Can anyone reccomend some recipes that are easy and low fat? (or a recipe source, like a site or a cookbook) I am in need of some new measl to take to work for lunch. I'm sick of the same old stuff! Any advice in general would be appreciated!

I feel good!

I had a salad for  lunch today and have drank nothing but water and milk. Tim and I went to the gym after work. I walked/jogged 3 miles on the treadmill  in an hour. Not much I know, but it is my second day...I'm working it up! I feel accomplished and better about myself.

Tim told me if I keep it up that I will be the size I was when we started dating (160s) or maybe even smaller. Told me he would have to beat the guys off with sticks to keep them away from his model looking girlfriend. Haha, I love that boy, he makes me laugh. I don't know if my weight loss will be that dramatic by the summer, but he thinks if I stick with what I am doing it will be.  Mainly because of what he saw people lose when he was in the military. You know sometimes Tim doesn't know what to say when I get in a funk about being overweight, but tonight what he said was just right. He made me feel good about myself and what I accomplised.

I joined a few support groups and talked to a few people today on here. Everyone has been great so far! I also accepted a challenge to lose 6lbs by the end of January. I think I can achieve that goal, Anyone else want to join me?

I am so ready for a new me!

The Diary of a Fat Girl - Weigh in Day #1

I am 20 years old, 5 feet tall, and I want to be fit, healty, and sexy.

I have struggled with my weight my entire life. In fourth grade I began to realized that I was bigger than other girls my age and it began to effect my self esteem. In high school I wore pullover sweatshirts to hide my chunky midsection. I had boys as friends, but rarely boyfriends. When I was a senior I weighed 200lbs. I joined a  local theater group and acted in two musicals back to back. I dropped 40 lbs over the period of a semester by drinking water, dancing in musicals, and decreasing my intake of food. I never dieted, my lifestyle just changed to fit the lifestyle of the theater group. For the first time in a long time I felt good about myself and I had not even set out to lose weight

I started college in August 2005 smaller than I had been in the past 3 years. In September 2005 I met my boyfriend.  An athletic musician that I thought was way out of my league at the time.  My life got incredibly busy from that moment on.  Eventually I quit participating at the theater in order to have time for school, for my boyfriend, and his band that  I do photography and merch for.  I just could not make it to 5 nights of rehersal a week.  When I quit theater, I quit exercising. The theater was my exercise, my weight loss tool, even though I did not realize it at the time.

Fast Forward to two years later. I am the largest I have ever been. My top weight was 220lbs at the beginning of December. As of this morning I am 217lbs  My self esteem has hit an all time low.  I feel ugly, fat, and useless. I don't want to be diabetic and I don't want to be fat on my wedding day (that will happen sometime in the next 2 years). I want to be heathly and active. I am only 20 years old, I have my whole life ahead of me. I do not want to go up another pants size. I want to go shopping and be able to buy that cute outfit because they have my size. I want to feel sexy again, but most of all I want to be happy with myself.

My boyfriend, Tim, loves me for who I am. He tells me I am the most beautiful girl in the world,  but I don't believe him, because I don't belive I am.  He refuses to say that I am fat, when I tell him, he just tells me I'm not. I am obease and he refuses to awknowledge that, he tells me I don't look that big.  He supports the fact that I want to lose weight because he is in the gym trying to improve himself all the time. We have worked out together before.

My parents bought me a 7 month gym membership for Christmas. My first day was yesterday I walked/jogged/walked 2.5 miles. Tim went with me. It was nice to have him there near me even though he was lifting weights and I was on the treadmill he would give me encouraging smiles across the room.  I want to stick with it this time.  My small goal is be get below 200 lbs again.  I would like to weigh 180 by the summer.  I have to stay motivated, so I decided to sign up here to vent when I needed to and find support.  Tim doesn't understand what I am going through, he has never been overweight. I'm willing to bet that you guys do. So here I am , New years resolution in tow, ready for a change. 

I'll post my before pictures soon. I'll have to take some seeing as I tend to stray away from the camera now.