Today’s personal mantra (to be repeated as often as necessary until symptoms no longer exist): “Just because you’re emotional, does NOT mean you are hungry! Eating will NOT solve the issues you’re dealing with!”

Ok…so earlier this morning, I started to compose my blog on Word, rambling on and on about an issue I was having with myself and the history behind it and blah, blah, blah. It was becoming long. Well, by the grace of the computer gods, my document froze, so I shut down and went on my lunch break, thus saving you all from having to “hear” me go on and on and feel sorry for myself.

Bottom line…I am quite unhappy with my professional life, and I have felt stuck for a very long time. I have plans to change that, but I’m feeling impatient, and can’t wait to start improving my life.

Luckily, I was able to avoid emotional eating. So I went emotional shopping. Don’t worry…I didn’t go overboard. I went to Target. I needed to buy baby food. But I also ended up buying baby Christmas presents…little ones. I bought these super cute baby Converse high tops. Love em! And I bought some books – one about the religious story of Christmas (not a church go-er these days, but I was raised in the church, so it’s important to me to teach Kyle about it), a Baby Einstein alphabet book, and this plush book about a monkey and it’s panda friend. And then I bought that book’s companion, which is the story about the panda and it’s monkey friend. Cutest story about that: I love monkeys! I call Kyle my little monkey. My best friend loves pandas. And she’s pregnant, and due at about the same time that Kyle was born last year! So, I got the panda book for her.

Anyway, I came back from shopping, and I’m feeling better. I try to avoid the whole pity party as much as possible. I know there are things that I can do for myself. And I know that just because my life is where it currently is, and I’ve got some hardships to deal with, that things won’t always be this way. So…that’s that.

On to the good news. I was down a pound at weigh-in yesterday!!! I was VERY happy, because it was NOT expected! The meeting went well, I guess. We had a Leader Trainee run the meeting, and it ran a little longer than necessary, but there was some good discussion going on. We talked about Turkey Day, and things we can do to not make it such a Gobble-Fest.

I would love, love, love to lose 3 pounds by next week! I’d be happy with any loss, but at the beginning of the month I had a goal to reach 190 by the end of the month. My cold deterred me, so I can’t blame myself for that. But I’ve lost that much in a week before, so it’s possible!

See…my 10 year HS Reunion is next September. And I have that major event as being a timeframe goal of mine. As most people do, I want to look HOT when I show up. I mean, I’m at the age where everyone is making huge strides in their lives – getting married, having kids, advancing their careers, buying home, etc. I’ve got the kid, but otherwise I don’t really have anything that says “Wow…look at what SHE’S accomplished!” But if I can get to my goal weight – which I believe is less than what I graduated HS at – then I will at least have that going for me. It’s one thing in my life right now that is completely under my control, you know?

Anyway, that’s about it for now, I guess! I've shopped and I've blogged. I'm feeling much better now. Thus...my title.

I've got weigh-in tonight. And since I didn't go last week, I'm antsy. I'm fully prepared to see a gain...although, if that's the case, I hope it's a small one. However, the good news is that my BAN this morning was the same as my BAN from two weeks ago on the day of my last weigh in. So, if I can stay committed enough today, then maybe there won't be much of a difference tonight.

Speaking of weigh-in's...anybody watch The Biggest Loser last night? Anybody else surprised about the outsome? I don't want to spoil what happened for anyone who hasn't watched it yet, but I was bummed! But the kicked off contestant...how good did he/she look?!? Right on! Can't wait for the finale!

Last night was a mixed bag, food wise. Dinner was good...but I snacked, which was bad. That's not normally an issue for me, but apparently I need to work on that, because it's becoming a problem. Don't know why! Maybe because of my exercising? Maybe I have some other emotional issues to deal with? I'm not sure.  

Sooooo...after my last post, I decided to cave a bit and eat something. It will mean that I'll have to be very cautious with dinner tonight, but I was willing to risk it. Anyway, I had just recently read Tatums post about Wendy's and I started craving cheeseburgers...meat...protein. So, to kill that craving, I had some peanuts - honey roasted. Not the greatest choice, points-wise, but it seems to have helped! My headache ended pretty instantly, and I no longer feel the hunger I was just a short while ago.

However, I'm still tired. And I was starting to have one of those days where I'd REALLY have to talk myself in to going to the gym on my lunch. But, once again, the Health Gods have been on my side. As I was walking to my desk, after having filled up my water wine glass, I passed one of the paralegals in my office. She sits on another side of the office from me, so she doesn't see me very often. Well, she commented on my "weight loss"!!! I thanked her, and explained that while the numbers on the scale aren't really dropping as quickly as I'd like them to, I AM exercising quite regularly and I believe that's the biggest contribution to what appears to be a great weight loss. I've gotten quite a lot of nice comments lately, so there must be a noticeable change, which is awesome. So, now I'm anxious to keep that up and get to the gym.

The only problem? I don't have anything good to read right now! I'm still waiting for "Eclipse" from my friend, so I don't want to get caught up in something else. I brought the latest Weight Watchers magazine today, so I should find something to read in that...but I've already browsed through it, so it may not keep me engrossed.

Over the course of the morning, I have developed a serious headache! I've taken medicine, I'm drinking my water, I've eaten breakfast, I'm trying to stay focused on work.... I think it's just because I'm tired, which I (unfortunately) can't do anything about since I'm in the office.

And yet...I'm HUNGRY because of it! Or at least...my body is telling me I'm hungry. I have this "thing" where I want to eat a lot when I'm hungry or have a headache, because I think it will give me more energy and make me feel better, I guess.

Problem is, my weigh-in is tomorrow and I'm really trying to be good! What do you all recommend?

Wow. It’s almost been a week since I last blogged. I’ve got some catching up to do!

The reason I haven’t blogged this last week is because that head cold got the better of me. I ended up staying home from work on Wednesday and Thursday, and when I made it back in on Friday, I had a lot of catch-up to do. I also very rarely make it on to the computer at home over the weekends, so…there you go!

Otherwise, this last week has been pretty uneventful.

I finished “New Moon” last Tuesday! Yay! Now I’m itching for “Eclipse.” I’m going to borrow it from a friend, but she’s got a very busy schedule so we haven’t had the chance to meet up yet.

My weekend was rather dull. I was at home with Kyle for pretty much the entire weekend. We did go over to my BFF’s house Saturday night for Fight Night. That was nice! She’s very busy these days, and usually when I see her, it’s because of some kind of big gathering with friends or family (or both!). But Saturday night was a little more intimate of a gathering. Granted, there were still quite a few people – BFF and her husband, me and DBF and Kyle, my brother, and another couple who are renting a room at BFF’s house. Haha! Intimate, you ask? BFF and I had the chance to talk one-on-one about life, while the fights were going on…so yeah, it was more intimate than we usually have!

Diet-wise, I haven’t really been thinking about it. I mean, it’s been in the back of my mind, but I haven’t really put anything in to practice, you know? It’s just kind of the last thing you want to think about when you’re nursing a cold, right? I don’t think I’ve eaten horribly, but I know I haven’t done what I need to do to lose anything. My cold caused me to miss my WW meeting last week as well, so I’ll be anxious to see what the scale says this week. I had a goal in mind for my final weigh-in of the month, but at the rate I’m going, I don’t think I’ll get there. It’s possible…but not probable. The cold just derailed me a bit. Oh well. Having numbered goals never really works well for me anyway.

I also derailed my exercise routine last week. So I’m getting back on track as of today. Last week was supposed to be Week 2 of C25K, but I only made it one day. Therefore, I have to restart week 2. I went to the gym on my lunch, and it was actually a pretty simple workout. I didn’t think it would be as easy as it was considering I’m still recovering. But that’s a plus. I also did 40 sit ups…cheater-style (I kind of propelled myself with my arms a bit…hey, something’s better than nothing!).

I’m pretty sure that I can do really well this week. I KNOW I can do well before weigh-in on Wednesday, because I’m really anxious about getting on the scale. The challenge will be to keep up my motivation at the end of the week. It’s easy to loosen up your resolve post weigh-in (especially after a loss!). Other challenges: possible movie night on Friday. I don’t go to the movies very often these days, because the price is just ridiculous. So when I go, I want it to be this “event”…and I’m always tempted to go all out. I can easily plan to avoid that, though. And Saturday, I’m going wine tasting!!! YAY! One of the wineries down in Gilroy (Kirigin Cellars) is having a “Festive Holiday Warm-Up.”  There will be food and wine and entertainment, and it should be a LOT of fun. I’m very excited!

Well, that’s about it for now, I think. Hopefully I’ll find time here soon to catch up with you all! Hope your week goes well!

When DBF and I came home from SF on Sunday and picked Kyle up from Grandma’s, Kyle had a snotty nose and was sneezing a lot. Great. A cold. It didn’t seem to bother him too much, which is good, but it’s still not fun to deal with. Yesterday – Monday – I woke up feeling just fine. However, as the day progressed, I could feel the cold building. And now I can’t breathe out of the right side of my nose. I’m tired and all groggy too. I’m having a difficult time concentrating on any work that actually requires brain power. And yes, it’s Veteran’s Day and I’m at the office. We’re still open for business today. And it never makes sense to me. If all the courts and such are closed for the day, shouldn’t a law office be closed too? Only seems fair.

Anyway, I’m trying REALLY hard today to stay on plan. But it’s so rough with a cold. What’s the old wives tale – “Starve a fever. Feed a cold.” Yeah, I want to eat. I want to eat chocolate. And there’s lots of it still in the office. It’s like people aren’t just bringing in their Halloween leftovers…they’re also just bringing in new bag after new bag to replenish what gets eaten. It’s killin’ me! (Well, ok…not really…but it is really hard to resist!).

I’ve done well, so far, though! I had lunch about an hour ago and really wanted something sweet afterward to counter my food. But instead, I have dumped a Crystal Light Rasberry Green Tea (Antioxidants!) On-The-Go packet into my water, so hopefully that will be a good sweet tooth deterrent for a while.

I also still managed to make it to the gym on my lunch break. I just rode the stationary bike…and I took it really easy. So it was no big deal. But I still did it! And I got to read some more too. I am now half a chapter, plus the epilogue, away from finishing “New Moon,” and being that close to the end is torture! Hopefully, I’ll have the chance to finish up tonight, but it may be a long shot considering I’ve been falling asleep on the couch at 9:30 for the past few days. My body has just been shutting down as soon as Kyle is out for the night. Plus…The Biggest Loser is on tonight, so I’ll be watching that. Maybe I’ll get a second wind, though, and be able to finish the book before I go to sleep. Wish me luck!

So, apparently EP showed it was my birthday this weekend. Or maybe it's because I was mentioning birthday cake in my last post. Not sure.

It wasn't my birthday though! Not until January! The birthday cake I mentioned was for a coworker's birthday. And the weekend out was because one of my boyfriend's favorite bands was playing at the Warfield (The Faint - heard of them? Kind of punk rock, with a New Age twist. Very fun!).

But...thanks for all the birthday wishes anyway! I'm also accepting presents.

:)

So, as always, the birthday cake I had yesterday just spurred my sweet tooth, and it ended up being insatiable. After my blog yesterday, I ended up snacking on a Weight Watchers Chocolate Caramel bar, which I had earlier decided NOT to eat because of the cake. Strike 1. And then, when I went out to dinner, I ended up ordering a side of chips and guacamole (ok...not a sweet, but still something I shouldn't have eaten). Strike 2. And after dinner, I ate too many Weight Watchers/Whitman's chocolate candies. Strike 3...and I'm out! But otherwise, I stuck to my dinner plan. Only one margarita. And...well...I don't know how healthy my dinner was, but the place we went is kind of a Cal-Mex style...so I believe it's somewhat healthier than traditional Mexican (like, they don't use flour tortillas, they serve black beans instead of refried, etc.) It's hard to judge at a place like that. And my BAN was up this morning.

I guess I'm not feeling too guilty about recent bad eating choices, because I've been exercising pretty regularly lately. That's always been the hardest part of losing weight for me - getting in to the exercise habit. I usually do pretty well for a couple weeks, and then stop for whatever reason. But I've been pretty consistant.

So, my NSV (non-scale victory) for today.... I was invited to go to lunch with coworkers. And it's very tempting. They're going to a very tasty place. And beyond that, it's just really nice when coworkers invite you to something and make you feel included. But the place they're going is a Mexican restaurant. I had Mex last night, and it's on the agenda at my friend's house tonight too. So even though my tastebuds could handle eating Mexican food all the time, I don't want to overdue it. And besides, the more important part of choosing to not go today is so that I can use my lunch to head down to the gym and complete Week 1, Day 3 of C25K. I've GOT to stick to my schedule on this!!!

Well, I hope you all have a great weekend. DBF and I are heading in to SF tomorrow night for a concert and overnight getaway. Looking forward to that!  

Hi...I'm back. Mostly because I'm bored. Work has been really slow this week.

So, today hasn't been too bad. I had an unexpected temptation present itself, though. Today is one of our partners' 50th birthday, and an AMAZING homemade cake was brought in. I wish I had a picture to share. One of our paralegals took a cake decorating class a while back, and is now our official office cake maker. It was way too cute. So I had a slice. It wasn't a huge slice though. I ate it. I enjoyed it. I moved on.

I also went to the gym on my lunch today. I rode the stationary bike and read. You know, even though I started the C25K program this week, I really like my "biking and reading" days! I've become hooked! And I think it's primarilly because I'm at that point in my book, where I'm far enough along that I've become addicted. As some of you may remember, I'm (slowly) working on getting through the Twilight series. I'm still on book 2 - New Moon. And Jacob's secret has just been revealed. It's getting exciting now. And you know, I love Edward...but it's in my nature to root for the underdog (especially in love stories), so even though I know it ultimately won't happen - I'm still rooting for Jacob! (Yes...I've browsed on various websites, and have seen tidbits of information regarding Bella's fate in these books.) But seriously, if I could leave the office now, and go back and get on the bike and read, I would absolutely LOVE to. I was on it for 45 minutes today, and could have spent another hour, at least, riding and reading. Hehe!

So, I think that's on my agenda for tonight. Well, after I meet up with some girl friends for dinner. I plan on ordering a healthy entree, and only having 1 cocktail (the place we're going to has killer margarita's that they "swirl" with sangria! mmmmm!). Hey, that's what flex points are for, right? But DBF is going to a concert in the City tonight, so after dinner, I'll go home and put Kyle to bed and read! YAY! I'm excited.

I was up at weigh-in last night, but only by .2! Yes, that's right...only point two!

I was expecting so much more of a gain than that, so that's just as good as a loss for me. YAY!

Alright...just wanted to share that real quick. Maybe I'll be back later to write more. (Haven't finished my coffee yet...brain not working too good!)