I'm fat. Really. I've been quite accepting of this fact for several years now, but things have been set into motion to make me not quite so accepting.
First, my family and I were involved in a four car collision on December 5, 2009. The accident was caused by two women on their cell phones. It was an accident that should not have happened, but it did, and that's life. Initially it seemed there were no real injuries, but the day after my mom started acting unusual. She took to sleeping alot, and by Wednesday morning I realized she hadn't eaten anything since Monday afternoon. I and my aunt tried to get her to eat and drink, but she was quite difficult about the whole thing. Then on Thursday she became completely non-responsive and my dad ended up calling the rescue unit. When she got to the hospital she had a barely there pulse, temperature of 91, and blood sugar of 712. The doctor told us that mom was suffering from diabetic ketoacidosis, and wanted to know how long mom had been diabetic. The bad thing was, as far as we all knew mom wasn't diabetic. In fact, she was healthy, in the proper weight area, and ate right. Mom finally woke up that Sunday, and by the next Thursday she was finally able to come home.
Mom's diabete's has scared me. If someone who eats right and exercises and generally is very healthy can have diabetes, then I-who am the exact opposite-am completely screwed.
The second thing that really pushed me into weight loss mode was my heartbreak. Just a few weeks after the drama with mom, I learned that the guy I've been crazy about for two years lied to me. Last October I finally told him that I really liked him and he responded that he was, "not emotionally ready to start dating." (And yes, that is exactly word for word what he said.) Apparently, he was still torn up over some girl from several years ago. I believed him, really and truly believed him. Imagine how I felt when I learned that he is actively looking for a girlfriend. I was crushed. I realized that he may give great excuses, but his actions speak louder than his words. He wants someone pretty and skinny. What's really irksome is that he's really massively overweight.
So, anyway, I spent a little over a month pouting and being angry that this guy was such a jerk. Then, I decided that I didn't want diabetes, and the next time a guy breaks my heart I want it to be because of something other than my weight. That's what pushed me on February 13th, to walk through the doors of Jenny Craig.
Now, I know that there are many and varied opinions about JC, but all I know is that my aunt has been on it and been quite successful. Long story short, I signed up for JC that very day.
The first week was definitely not the most fun. To start with, I had to work on Valentine's Day-the day after I joined-and of course one of my co-workers brought amazing, beautiful filled donuts to work. I spent the day smelling those donuts and being tempted. I resisted telling myself that I refused to slip up one day into the program. Monday, however, was a different story. I got to work in a great mood, and as soon as I walked in the door I was met with angry, irritated, crabby co-workers. I spent 8 hours in their presence and when I got home I had a glass of chocolate milk & six sandwich cookies. I felt rotten for screwing up, but at the time I really didn't care that much. Then I was good again, until Wednesday. Wednesday saw me at work once again resisting temptaion. One of my co-workers was celebrating his birthday, so we all chipped in and got him a gorgeous turtle chocolate cake. Thankfully it was served right before my shift ended, and I was able to run away from temptation. Thursday I worked a 12 hour shift and at the end I desperately wanted Taco Bell. It was so hard to drive past 3 of them and go home to face mac & cheese. However, the mac & cheese was actually quite good. The rest of the week was better, and then on Saturday I went in for my first consult/weigh in. I was hoping that maybe I had lost a pound. I figured that would be good. The week previous I had weighed 224.8; yesterday I weighed 217.5! Now, I know that 7.3lbs is a lot of weight to lose, and I also know that won't happen every week.
So, that's where I am currently. Life is good, and I look forward to being a smaller healthier me!
