I have FIVE deadlines next week....and my boss keeps throwing in the little "oh by the way" tasks that are going to drive me to drink!
Speaking of drinks I could really use one tonight. It is 8:00 PM and I am still at work trying to justify going home. But the plan that I am on strictly forbids alcohol consumption. When I look at the fact that I will be forced into sobriety for the next 10 months I started to panic a little. Especially since my 30th birthday is in June. Let's just say I plan on shattering a couple rules that weekend. Hey, you only turn 30 once, right?
Well, I am a month into the plan and going strong. The only issue I seem to have is drinking all my water on the weekends. That is a definite struggle. I am so busy running around after my son and running errands and cleaning and everything else I have to do, that it just slips my mind.
I didn't lose anything this past Wednesday, but I am hoping to make up for that tomorrow. I stuck tight to the plan all weekend so I don't know what would have caused my to lose 1.6 lbs on Monday and then nothing on Wednesday. But tomorrow is the day of truth....I get weighed AND measured.
OH! I almost forgot. I had a pair of size 18 jeans on this morning, zipped and buttoned. They were tight, but they FIT! I haven't been able to get into an 18 in at least 2 years. The 22s that I had on after that felt HUGE and baggy in comparison. It seems that I have every size from 22 down to 12 in jeans EXCEPT a 20. So I will have to wait a bit longer until the 18's truly fit before I leave the house in them.
DH says he can see a difference in me with 15 lbs lost. No one else has said anything, but then again no one else has seen me naked. (tee hee) I am predicting that no one else will say something until I have lost at least twice what I currently have (i.e. at 30-35 lbs lost). I have so much to lose and I work with a bunch MEN so they never notice anything. I will just have to wait and see.
My eye lid has been twitching uncontrolably. I have no idea why, but it is starting to drive me nuts. The last time this happened I was under a ton of stress and when I was able to relax again it went away. The only thing is that I haven't been under that much stress lately. Work is not that bad and the house is not completely falling down, so I should be able to just chill. Then again I haven't had any down time in months. The holidays went into January this year and this weekend is the first weekend we have had to ourselves since October. And I can't even slow down to enjoy it because everything has been slipping for months. Bills, cleaning, cooking, laundry. They are ALL behind. Never mind, I figured out why my eye lid is twitching.....
Well, it happened. I am retaining water like Hoover Dam. I am sure that I am going to show a HUGE gain tomorrow morning. The only good thing is that I know it is temporary. Monday should bring an equally big loss. Now I just have to keep telling myself that and hope that I believe it. I drank 10 glasses of water today and my fingers are still swollen, which is a definite sign that things are going vertical tomorrow.
Other than that, things have been going well. I found a new site today where I can track all of my calories and exercise. Should help tremendously, especially when I have lost the weight and am trying to maintain. Accountability is the name of the game from now on. And I even got two women at work to join as well! Now we really have something to talk about. :)
Time to head for bed so that I can get up super early and go work out. This is definitely starting to get harder and harder.
The good news is that as of this morning I have lost 13 lbs so far. In 4 weeks! Plus, I am sitting here in pants that are too big! I have been tugging at them all day just to make sure.
The bad news is that I allowed myself a small cheat today and I feel guilty. Each year one of the guys in our office brings in about 6 different wild game dishes and we all get to sample them for lunch. The food is always to die for and my mouth was watering all morning just thinking about it. Don't get me wrong, the meat itself isn't the problem as it is all really lean....the problem is the sauces and added salt that are the problem. I allowed myself a small piece of roasted venison and 2 elk meatballs. Granted, that is probably the least damaging cheat I have ever done, but I would have been thinking about it all afternoon if I didn't have a small amount. Plus, to compensate for it, I ate less of my shrimp that I had brought for lunch. Now all I have to do is drink a TON more water to even out the added salt and I will be just fine. :)
The chocolate didn't get the best of me. I managed to keep away from the kitchen and eventually the cravings faded. The best part is that I didn't have any problem getting my water since I was hoping it would fill me up.
Now I am at home and for the first time since I started this new plan, I am starving! The fridge is mercifully empty, but I am ready to start tearing the house apart for something to eat. Probably has to due with the fact that TOM started today. But any amount of PMS that I usually have is BEFORE, not during. Strange. I just hope that I can manage to keep losing weight and not simply retain water tomorrow morning.
SOME ONE HELP ME PLEASE! A very evil person indeed put a HUGE box of chocolate candies in the breakroom. They are screaming my name! Normally I would have gone in and eaten at least 6 of them, then probably gone back and done the same thing an hour later. Now I am trying to fight the urge to eat just ONE! But I know it won't be just one....it is easier to refrain completely than to eat just one. I am going to eat my protein bar and leave it at that. Oh, and I will stay OUT OF THE KITCHEN!
Last night was hard. I knew I needed to go grocery shopping to pick some things for my family this weekend and re-stock some essentials. I waited until Caleb was in bed (8:45 PM) and then headed out after leaving the monitor for Scott. I had eaten dinner and wasn't hungry so I didn't think I would have a problem with all that food, but guess again! For the first time since I started the program, I wanted to eat everything in sight. It was almost a physical PAIN knowing that I couldn't eat 95% of the things in the store. It wasn't just sweet stuff that was calling my name either...mexican food, cereal, pancake mix, Chex mix, Twinkies, ORANGE JUICE! I was completely salivating by the end. I walked around telling myself "Don't give up! Look at the progress you've made!" But it almost didn't work. I had to clench the shopping cart to make sure that I didn't reach for the Twinkies!
Speaking of tempting places, I refuse to go into a convenience store ever again. Not even to pee! They have always been my downfall and I will not let myself be tempted. All that chocolate, soda, fried pastries, salty chips.....they all call my name when I walk in. Ok, so never is a long time, but I definitely won't be going into one for a long while. It is pay-at-the-pump or run out of gas.
I have completed 2 full weeks with the new eating plan and I am starting to get used to it. Still completely freaked out at the thought of eating in a restaurant, but am managing to be confident in my selections at home/work. Of course, doing all of this actual COOKING in stead of heating something up means I have a lot more dishes to do. That is the only down side.
My family is coming to visit tonight, so I planned ahead and put a turkey breast with lemon pepper seasoning in the crock pot. I haven't tried this recipe before, so I hope it turns out well. I am putting fresh green beans in the steamer and adding a salad to fill it out. Shouldn't seem to out of the ordinary for them. I am not trying to force them to eat "diet" food, but I don't want to have to make one meal for them and another for me. They are just going to have to live with it that way.
I weighed in again this morning and was half expecting to gain or maintain. But I was down another 0.4 lbs! Yippee! That makes it 3.4 lbs for this week....never thought I would see those kinds of numbers.
Here is the biggest news though. I wore a shirt to work yesterday that I haven't worn for more than 2 years. It is a button down and with being "well-endowed" putting on a few pounds can really cause some serious "gappage" between the buttons. So I tried it on yesterday and no gaps! Yeah! And along that same line, I tried my wedding rings on again the other day and they slid onto my hand for the first time in 2 years! Granted they were snug, but I had them on again. I can't wait until I am able to actually wear them all the time. Or even better yet, have to get them resized!
I haven't posted in a few days, but want to do a little catching up. The remainder of Sunday was tough. I thought I had blown it completely because I ate a piece of French Toast, a slice of bacon, scrambled eggs and twice the milk as my plan called for. And that was only lunch! Dinner was going to be on the road traveling back from my in-laws so I knew it would be tough to stick to the plan, but I didn't give up and declare a "free" day like I would have in the past. I moved on. When we got to my parent's place to pick up the dog, I found out my mom had made a wonderful meal that was COMPLETELY within my plan. I was so incredibly relieved that I couldn't stop hugging her! She is the only other person besides my husband that knows I am doing this so it was super nice of her to go out of her way to prepare a meal I could eat and not make a big deal of it.
So....after the nasty weekend I had and the lack of loss I had seen all last week, I had prepared myself for the worst on my Monday morning weigh-in. Instead, I LOST 1.6 POUNDS!!! That was a big motivator!
Then, when I weighed in this morning I was expecting a small or no loss since it had only been 2 days since a big loss. Instead, I LOST 1.4 MORE POUNDS!! That means that I have now lost 11.2 lbs in 2 weeks. My GOD!!! I NEVER thought I could make this kind of progress. That is an average of 0.8 lbs per day!
Part of me wants to shout it from every roof top, while the other part of me wants to doubt that it is true so I haven't told anyone. I have now lost more in 2 WEEKS than I lost in 9 MONTHS on Weight Watchers. I guess I just had to find the right plan. Like I said, I am still in major shock. I will be back a little later when my thoughts are a little clearer.
