Stress Is Not Even The Word!
So, here I am. Honestly, I didn't think I would ever come back to my weightloss blog. It just kills me to be a failure at something. But yet, here I am. I guess I came back because of the blogships that I have made in the over 1 and 1/2 years that I have been visiting this site. It is because of the people who have dropped me a line and let me know that they were thinking of me, regardless of my laziness to get back to them. That is why I needed to get back here. Oh yeah, that, and also because I am only 107 days away from my wedding and I am a blubbery 199.2 pounds. I guess you can feel the dissapointment in myself. Let me share what's been going on in the 2 months since I have last blogged.
So, about a day or two after my last blog entry, I was told that my fiance and I had to move out of the house we live in. By July. Now, to some people, that sounds like a reasonable amount of time to find a place and move- but to us- this made us want to jump off a bridge!! For those of you who don't know my story- DF and I are getting married in Sept. This September! The 14th to be exact. And we are paying for the whole wedding ourselves. And by NY standards, it is a small affair- 150 people, but considering NY prices, this small affair is costing us an arm and a leg!!
Needless to say, when we got the news that someone is buying the house that we live in- we felt a nervous breakdown setting in! How the hell could we do this? Renting in NY is like paying a mortgage payment. And buying a house is quite a daunting task as well!! What were we to do? Rent- and give someone else about $1700 per month, essentially paying their mortgage; or can we pull off scraping some cash together for a down payment and getting our own mortgage? And if we could get some money together and get a mortgage, where could we find a house that we could actually afford? And not be forced to carry our guns around in our own neighborhood! Sidenote- for those who don't know it already, DF and I are NYC police officers- not criminals! ;o)
DF and I decided to get in touch with our inner psycho and go the home ownership route!! We knew that in order to close on a house quickly, we would have to move our asses- and fast! Even though we were told that we didn't have to be out of our home until July, being that the wedding is in September, I would feel a whole lot better being in our new house ASAP! Knowing that we would only be able to afford a small house that needed some TLC, and would need a bit of time to actually do the work, we wanted to be in this new house by June!! So, our plan was to look for and find a house, secure a mortgage and close within about 8 weeks!! Insanity, I know!
Another reason that I want to be in this new house as soon as humanly possible, is because I have yet to order my wedding invitations!! Ugh! I basically need to wait until I close to do so!! And of course the invites that I want take about 4 weeks turnaround time, so who knows when I'll be able to order them!! Everyone is telling me just to have the response cards addressed to my parents house. But hey- I am totally NOT a bridezilla, but DF and I are paying for the friggin wedding all ourselves and I want the joy of receiving my responses where I live! I do not want to stop by my parents' house everyday hoping that the mailman came and delivered some! How anti-climactic is that?! So, I must wait. Gotta have an address!
Anyway, DF and I searched and scoured as best we could. Oh yeah- when this all happened, DF had to get foot surgery so walking was impossible for him for a week, and then he hobbled around with a cane! Luck was on our side in that, my stepmom is a real estate agent. This helped tremendously! Thank heavens for her!! DF and I settled on an area that we could afford with great schools [for our future rugrats] and looked at every home in our price range. We ultimately fell in love with a colonial and were out bid by $10k. I still regret not putting in a higher counter offer. It was not meant to be though, so I gotta let it go.
We then made an offer on another house. After a little back and forth- our offer was accepted!! Like I predicted, it needs some love- specifically a new boiler and a fence- but we can move in and do things little by little. We were officially "in contract" as they say, last Friday! We are keeping our fingers and toes crossed for a closing date in 3 weeks. According to our contract, we are to close no later than July 1st. This would make me happy!! The lawyer is working on the title search and the mortgage guy is working on the mortgage. And in the meantime, my favorite dear sweet Aunt, had come into an inheritance, and offered DF and I, $100,000 to put down as a downpayment on our house! Essentially, it is a loan, but we will be paying it back at 2.5% and affording us the privilege of NOT paying PMI!! She is saving us about $400 per month!! Needless to say, I heart my Auntie!!
As all of this craziness has been going on, I had been steadily gaining weight. :o( Not good. Out of stress I had been eating total crap. I'd have Cold Stone Creamery or a pint of Haagen Dazs or Ben and Jerry's after I came home from work almost every night- at 12:30am!!! Uhhh- not a smart snack is it? Not to mention all of the disgusting things I had been putting in my mouth during the day! And time is just flying! I am getting married in 3 and 1/2 months!
So, to handle this problem and try to at least get some weight off in time for the wedding, I have chosen [and so has DF who has put on several stress pounds himself] to do a very low carb diet. Yes people, we are doing Atkins. I know, I know, it is totally unhealthy! But ya know what? I am desperate at this point. I am wearing a strapless gown and have scary arm flab and fat back going on! And my waist is looking very thick! So, Atkins it is! What really sucks is that DF and I have been doing it for about 2 weeks and it is only showing that I have lost about 2 pounds!! Not cool. I have not cheated once! But I have faith that the scale will be friendly to me in the coming weeks. And my clothes are feeling looser, so I am trying my best not to focus on my BAN weight. I also need to get my chubby self on my treadmill, because that is how the pounds are gonna start moving!
And for those of you who asked, I did participate in the Revlon Run/Walk 5K on May 5th. It was a beautifully clear day in Manhattan. I was not able to run the full 5K but I ran and walked, finishing in 47:45. Not impressive, but not horrendous. I am proud of myself that I finished such an important charity event! Central Park in Spring is gorgeous!
Well, ladies and germs, that's my story and I am sticking to it! Since I now longer have to hunt for a house, and it is just basically a waiting game, I am now able to get back into the wedding planning that has been put on the back burner. And part of that planning is getting myself in shape. So, though I won't make any empty promises, I really think that I would benefit coming to EP and checkin in on my buddies on at least a weekly basis. I am going to do my best to make the time.
I hope everyone is feeling strong and enjoying Spring. Summer will be here before we know it!! Keep your chin up! Have a fabulous day! :o)