Since I last posted, I discussed my weight concerns with my OB and asked to see a nutritionist. My OB gave me the go-ahead and I had my appt. about 3 weeks ago. From that point on, I have been doing great with my eating! The nutritionist has me on a 1900 calorie weight management diet and we will reevaluate the amount of calories after one month. My appt with her is on July 18th and already I have lost 5 lbs! Normally that would be fantastic news, but not when I'm pregnant! So, I took it upon myself to add another fruit serving and another protein serving, so hopeful that will hold me steady. I am feeling a helluva lot better now that I haven't had fast food in 3 weeks. And I don't even crave it! The nutritionist has me eating 6 small meals per day and though it's hard to get used to at first, since I feel like I am always eating, it does help alot to curb the munchies. I snack on Light Baby Bel cheese, cottage cheese and Chobani greek yogurt. Who knew how delicious that yougurt was and it's fat free!! Yummy!
Exercise continues to evade me though. I am so damn tired that I don't really have the energy to go walking before leaving for work at 2pm. I'm gonna make the conscious effort to go at least twice a week and take it from there. That's all we can do, right? Try. I'm also doing pretty well with drinking water. I was never a good water drinker; even when I was pregnant last year with my daughter. I was always the patient with the electric yellow pee in the specimen cup at the OB's office. I would say now it's Crystal Light lemonade color. LOL! That's some progress right? Since the nutritionist doesn't want me to drink juice or soda, I have really stuck to it and only drink water or decaf coffee with skim plus milk and splenda. Not too shabby if you ask me!!
So, all in all I am hanging in there, making my small but necessary changes. I am trying hard not to think of the future- of how much weight I will gain during this pregnancy or how it will be very cold in December when I deliver. I won't think of how hard it will be to exercise with 2 small kids under 2 years old. I will only think about my choices today and how they affect the long term. Every day is an opportunity for change...
To lose weight. Though I am at my heaviest of all time, this battle of the bulge will have to wait. Again. Why, you ask? It's because my husband and I will be welcoming child #2 in December. Though I had hoped that I wouldn't be so overweight the next time I got pregnant, it just didn't work out that way. I had five months to get back on track before I found out I was carrying peanut #2 and I did not rise to the occasion. Rather, I failed miserably. I lost 30 lbs of baby weight after two weeks PP, a few more lbs when I joined WW, then gained some of it back when I fell off the wagon. I am starting this pregnancy 25 lbs. heavier than the first one. I pray that my severe obesity does not adversely affect the little life growing inside of me. I almost vomited when I stepped on the scale at the OB's office today and it registered 260 lbs. Well, I can't diet now, but I can make healthier food choices. I can choose to go walking with my daughter before I go to work in the afternoon. If only I could find the energy to do more than all that I am already doing now. Some positive vibes would be much appreciated.
Thanks for checkin up on me guys. I gotta tell ya, once the holidays were over I thought I would be totally on the wagon but it hasn't worked out that way. Everyday it is a struggle to NOT eat the crappy food that I crave. Everyday I make excuses not to exercise. Everyday I wallow in self pity about the fact that I have to return to work on Monday and leave my baby girl for 11 hours per day. Fact is, everyday... I am getting fatter. The scale has remained unchanged but I feel sluggish and sad. The few moments of quiet I do get during the day, I want to surf the web or check emails, not dust off an exercise video and jump around my tiny living room. How the hell am I gonna find the time or the strength to do this when I go back to work next week?
The food factor is killing me too. When I first joined EP years ago, I had good success with JC. I suck at cooking, nor do I like to cook, so for me JC is a godsend! But other than the fact one learns what a portion size is, JC doesn't teach you how to eat the right foods to gain optimum health. At least that's what I think. So now, with a 3 month old baby keeping me busy and tired, not to mention the dreaded return to the workforce grind... will I find the strength and resolve to eat well? I can't seem to find it now. I thought I had it a few weeks ago when I joined WW and decided to resurrect this blog, alas I had been lying to myself.
What to do know? Join JC to make life easier for me and to get me on track? Struggle with WW and hope that I find the fire that I've lost so quickly? Say "Screw it all," and have yet another slice of chocolate chip banana bread and coffee with half and half?
Like the title says, it has been 17 months since my last post. So many fabulous things have happened in my life since then... my wedding to a wonderful man and the birth of my gorgeous daughter to name two. One thing that has not gone my way at all, has been my battle with weight. On 12/6/08, just 2 months after my baby girl had been born, I am at my all-time highest weight- EVER! Well, except when I was pregnant, but that doesn't count in my book. At 5 feet 2 inches, 255.6 pounds is a disgrace, a health hazard and a cause for shame and humility for me. How did I let it get this bad? What should I do now? Cry in another pint of Haagen Dazs?
On 12/6/08 I started WW. Since then, I lost 6.4 lbs and last week gained 1.6 after Christmas. Now is the time to get back on track. This is where I plan to account for myself and help work out my emotions regarding my weight. Here is where I plan to cry and pout. Here is where I hope to get inspired, because I gotta tell ya, it's only the beginning and it's already hard! I may even discuss taking a weight loss pill with my doctor to help kick start my program. Man, this shit ain't easy. But, I've taken the first step... I am back here. And I am going to WW meetings. All I gotta do now is believe in myself. Right? Is anyone else with me? Let's make this a year of renewal and of faith in ourselves. It is time to take control before things get any more out of hand. Welcome to those of you who are also back from a long hiatus. We can do this!!
I just realized that I didn't do a follow up post after my WI last Thursday! JC scale showed a 4.4 lb loss. Not bad for Week 1. Especially not bad since I haven't jumped on the exercise bandwagon as of yet! The food is tasting good again, much to my happiness! One of the reasons I left JC in the first place, was because I was sick of the food! So, I really like it again!! Yay!
I am happy to report that taking Alli has been working out great! No "treatment effects" for me!! I am sure this has a lot to do with the fact that by eating JC food, I am eating very low fat, so there isn't much fat to metabolize anyway. I also don't even feel anything when I take the pills. I actually wonder if they are working! But, my daily BAN shows me back in Onederland! So, I have an 8 lb loss [according to my scale] since I started JC almost 2 weeks ago. Not too shabby if I do say so myself!
If only I could get on my friggin treadmill! I have been so lazy and I have no real reason for it! I mean, I am working the same 43 hours per week that I always work, and still- I stare at the machine as I type this! And what is more annoying- I would lose faster if I would do some exercise!! I need some motivation people! Help snap me out of it! Tough love is expected and welcomed!!
Hope you all are having a great day! Enjoy the holiday tomorrow!! Just step away from the hot dogs!!
ETA: I did get off my butt and get on the treadmill!! I did 20 minutes of fast walking/jogging and it felt great! Let's hope I do it again tomorrow! Thanks for the motivational kicks everyone!!
Well, Monday is here and I am happy to report that I have been sticking to plan like glue! I have not jumped on the exercise bandwagon as of yet though. Possibly today, if I can fit it in before I go to work. WI is this Thursday at 10am and I am hoping for a great Week 1 loss! Gotta love losing that water weight!
For those of you who may be interested, I did decide to start taking Alli so that I can boost my weight loss efforts. And I gotta tell ya, I feel no different! Maybe because JC is so low in fat in the first place, there is hardly any fat for the pills to break down! I am happy to report that there have not been any treatment effects for me!
DF and I are anxiously awaiting all of the necessary checks to be done so that we can get a closing date! A few posts ago I mentioned that the house we were in love with came back on the market when we were already in contract with another house. Well, I didn't want to jinx us so I haven't posted again about it, but we are getting the house that we love!! Yay! The contracts are signed, the commitment letter has been received, now we await for the title search and survey to be completed- then we get our closing date!! We are so excited! Who cares that it will be a 40 mile drive to work for both of us everyday!! We will have our own home!!
That's all that is going on in my world right now. I hope that everyone had a wonderful first weekend of Summer. Make sure you stay hydrated- drink that water!! Talk to you all soon!
So, 10am came and went, and I was at my nearest JC center. They are kind of sparse in the consultant department, but there was a nice girl there to help me. Fortunately, I know how the program works and just really needed to be weighed, measured and to be given my food! What sucks is that since I did not renew within a year, I lose my 30% discount and drop back down to 10%!! Grrreeeaaatttt!! Just what I need right now while buying a house and paying for a wedding! But whatever, my health and soul are worth it!
So, the scale at JC showed me at 207! Yikes! That brings me only 8.2 lbs down from when I originally started JC in Oct 2005!! It's uphill, but I am determined! I set my goal for 150 at the center, since that is the lowest I have weighed as an adult. And that was when I entered the Police Academy in 1997! But the days til the wedding are still ticking away, and I must confess to all of you, that I am seriously considering taking Alli to help me with an extra boost! I have never had a problem eating Olestra chips, [not that it is the same thing] so I am hoping that if I do decide to use them, I won't have too much "anal leakage!" Ewww!! That is just a gross statement!!
Anyway, just wanted to post and hold myself accountable. It is now or never. If DF wants to have a baby soon after we are married [which he has said many, many times] then I need to get my weight down- not just for vanity reasons as far as my wedding gown goes, but also for the health of my future child! One day at a time right? Wish me luck people. I am on my way.
I will be returning to Jenny Craig. All of this nonsense of me, trying to figure out how to lose weight the fastest, all in time for my wedding [that is rapidly approaching in 86 days] is making me sick! Enough already! Enough. The fact is, I don't cook, and I have an eating problem. I do not stop when my stomach tells me too, nor do I want to eat what is healthy for me. And I don't have the time or the patience to figure out what I should be eating! So, JC it is- again!
I started out on EP thru a recommendation from the JC message boards. I began JC in October 2005 at 213.2. I left JC in June 2006, having lost 39.9 pounds, but bored to tears with the food and I had also hit a plateau for about a month. I decided that I would try out WW for variety. Bad idea for me! Too many options, not enough discipline. WW lasted about 3 weeks for me.
My weight was holding steady for a while. Then, two short months later, DF asked me to marry him! All was great in the world! DF and I celebrated with dinners out and the devil- Cold Stone Creamery! We set the date for 9/14/07. The months started to tick by and I was gaining weight back. I told myself that I needed to start losing again so that I can start looking for my wedding gown! Well, time came and went, and in February 2007, I ordered my gown in a size 18. I was actually kind of impressed with this size since it wasn't too far from my street size which was 16, at that time.
Well, now it is less than 3 months till the wedding, and I have tried sticking to: the Atkins diet and the Soup diet, and what has happened? I have fallen off of the wagon yet again, and my weight is back up! As of yesterday, I am at 206 pounds! I hate it when I weigh more than DF. HATE IT! The stress of buying a house and paying for the wedding is too much to deal with, along with trying to eat healthy!
So, I am going back to where it all began. Jenny Craig, as many of you already know, takes the guesswork out of dieting. They literally tell you what to eat! And you just follow it and viola! You lose! Of course, exercising helps too! And I am hoping that my damn foot feels better soon so I can get on the treadmill-even if it is for 15 minutes! Luckily, since I paid for the Rewards Program, all I have to do is pay $99 to renew it [it has been over a year since my last consultation] and I will be back at receiving a 30% food discount! This, I am happy about!
My appointment is this Thursday, June 21st at 10am. I will be going to a different center- one that is closer to my house. And when I move next month, I will have to change again! But whatever! As long as I get back on the wagon. I am feeling totally out of control with my eating and really lacking focus. I know that I have a lot on my plate right now but I also know, that if I don’t try and lose some of this weight that I have allowed to return to my body, I will be miserable when I look at myself in my wedding gown. Bubbling back fat coming out of my strapless gown is not my idea of a pretty sight. I may be really ambitious, but I am hoping for at least a 25 lb loss by the time my wedding rolls around! Wish me luck people! I need all of the help I can get!! Until next time…
Please excuse my absence, as I was having a meltdown! All is well in bridal land, so have no fear! After I last blogged, I came to the conclusion that I could not stick to a low carb diet, especially since I did not see real results. This prompted the eating of a couple of pints of Ben n' Jerry's over the past two weeks! So, it was Friday of last week, when I was feeling bloated and chubby as ever, that I come home to a voicemail from my bridal shop!! My consultant tells me, in a cheery voice, that my dress is in! "Oh shit," I think to myself. The consultant goes on to inform me that the manufacturer may have made a mistake with the length of my gown [when ordered, I was measured hollow to hem so that my dress comes full altered for length, due to the intricate work at the bottom of the dress and therefore, cannot be hemmed!] The consultant advises me to call and make an appointment asap, so that I have time to send the dress back if necessary!! Ughh!
The problem with that scenario is #1: I do not have my shoes yet! When I got measured for my gown, I was supposed to have my shoes but didn't, so I wore a plain pair from the shop with a 2 and 3/4" heel. I was expected to get shoes with the same heel height for my wedding day!! I needed to go out and find shoes immediately!! Problem #2: I have not lost any weight since I ordered the dress in March, and may have gained weight!! Between yo-yoing and gorging myself on Cold Stone every once in a while [see below post!] I did not loss any weight and it shows! The problem here is that when I ordered my gown, I was running on the treadmill and was doing well with my healthy eating. Then I started having foot problems, stopped running and starting eating crap! When the consultant took my measurements, my hips put me in the size 20 dress [and more money for the extra size!] but my waist and bust had me in the size 18. Since my dress is an A-line type, and would not be fitted to my hips, I convinced the consultant to order me the 18, thinking that I would lose!! Wrong!!
Well, that's the background! Fast forward to this past Monday. I found 2 and 3/4" heels to bring with me and I tried on the gown. It friggin zipped!! Hallelujah!! The length was a bit shorter than it should have been, so to correct that, I tried it on with a less full slip- and that did the trick! Problem now is... the disgusting back fat that is blubbering over my gown! Ugh! I knew I should have stayed away from strapless!! Who do I think I am? Gisele?! Well, it is what it is. What can I do, other than work out and try to get rid of it as much as I can?!
Sure, just add the exercising and diet stress to my overflowing plate that already contains- one bum left foot, trying to close on our Dream House by Mid-July, getting all of the wedding details taken care of, go to work full time and pack up the house!! I want to pull my hair out of my head!! Que sera' sera'! One day at a time! I am going to focus on breathing!
Today is officially 3 months until our wedding day and exactly 2 months until my first fitting!! The seamstress said that August 14th is the absolutely latest that they can start alterations and have the dress completed on time! Let hope that I can get my act together and make some magic happen in the next 60 days!! Cross your fingers and toes for me folks! I need all of the prayers and hugs I can get!! Until next time...
It was so nice to read the comments from some of my old blog friends as well as new ones!! Thank you for the warm welcome back! So, it is 2 weeks and 3 days since I started my low-carb prison sentence, and I am down only 3 pounds!! As you can all imagine, I am not a happy bride-to-be! Of course, in true male fashion, my DF is down 8 pounds! And yes, if you are wondering, I am totally jealous about that! It is frustrating to live day after day on 20 grams or less of carbs and only see a 3 pound loss! But, I do admit, that my face looks noticeably thinner and my pants are feeling looser. So, I am doing my best to forget about the numbers on the scale. It ain't easy though, let me tell ya!
Then, last night, DF and I decided to watch Forrest Gump. DF went to Blockbuster and bought the movie, then called me on the phone. And what did my beloved ask me? Did I want ice cream? Ugh!! Of course I wanted ice cream damnit!! And not just any ice cream... but the momma of all ice cream stores- Cold Stone Creamery!! For the low price of about $8, you get yourself a huge sundae type concoction of fatty goodness. Well, my DF brought some of this yummy devil's food home and I had some. Actually, I had a lot less than I ever would, so I am happy about that. After the damage was done, I would say about 1 and 1/2 cups were consumed, if that much!
Luckily, I got the guilt of eating the ice cream out of my head and am fully on the wagon. Maybe it's just a rationalization, but I have not eaten a morsel of bread, pasta or potato in the 2 and 1/2 weeks on this diet, so a slip up of 1 and 1/2 cups of ice cream will not be my undoing!! And for those of you who are familiar with Atkins or really low-carb diets, and know about being in ketosis, even after the ice cream party, this morning I am still excreting a small amount of ketones. So, all is not lost!
In other news, crazier things have been happening with the house we are in contract for. Originally, DF and I fell in love with a colonial that we made a bid on. Apparently, another party also bid, and the sellers made a counter offer to both of us which was 10k more than our bid. Not knowing what the other buyer's bid was, we went up 5K and ended up losing the deal because the othr buyer went 5k over the seller's counter offer!! I literally cried over losing this house. I was so upset that when I found out- I had to leave work early! It was heart breaking! DF and I really saw ourselves getting old in that house. And it had such wonderful charm!
Fast forward a month. We are now in contract with a home that we like a lot but it is not our dream home. Our down payment is 20k. And what happens? You guessed it- the favorite house's deal fell thru!! And so we have our attorney look over our contract to see if we can get out of it, since they already cashed our check, and of course it is looking grim. DF and I really did a lot of soul searching and discussing about the favorite house. And we then come to the conclusion that even though we cannot really afford it, we are going to walk away from the down payment and do our damnedest to get the house we love! We figure, that after all is said and done, we would spend more than 20k on renovations to get the house we are in contract in up to the point that the favorite house is presently at. So, now we wait... Please cross your fingers and toes that we get this favorite house of ours!!
On the agenda for today- go to DF's niece's 6th birthday party, where I will resist all carbs! And then pick up my brother and his GF at the airport at 6pm. I will be on vacation from work this week! Yay me!! I will have to make sure I get on the treadmill. I finally did 35 minutes of hard core running and walking [mostly walking] the other day and I felt sore but good! Gotta get that exercise in!! Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend! Be good to yourself!
So, I took it upon myself to add another fruit serving and another protein serving, so hopeful that will hold me steady. I am feeling a helluva lot better now that I haven't had fast food in 3 weeks. And I don't even crave it! The nutritionist has me eating 6 small meals per day and though it's hard to get used to at first, since I feel like I am always eating, it does help alot to curb the munchies. 
I snack on Light Baby Bel cheese, cottage cheese and Chobani greek yogurt. Who knew how delicious that yougurt was and it's fat free!! Yummy! 
Everyday it is a struggle to NOT eat the crappy food that I crave. Everyday I make excuses not to exercise. Everyday I wallow in self pity about the fact that I have to return to work on Monday and leave my baby girl for 11 hours per day. 
Fact is, everyday... I am getting fatter. The scale has remained unchanged but I feel sluggish and sad. The few moments of quiet I do get during the day, I want to surf the web or check emails, not dust off an exercise video and jump around my tiny living room. How the hell am I gonna find the time or the strength to do this when I go back to work next week? 
One thing that has not gone my way at all, has been my battle with weight. On 12/6/08, just 2 months after my baby girl had been born, I am at my all-time highest weight- EVER! Well, except when I was pregnant, but that doesn't count in my book. At 5 feet 2 inches, 255.6 pounds is a disgrace, a health hazard and a cause for shame and humility for me. How did I let it get this bad? What should I do now? Cry in another pint of Haagen Dazs? 
The food is tasting good again, much to my happiness! One of the reasons I left JC in the first place, was because I was sick of the food! So, I really like it again!! Yay!
Possibly today, if I can fit it in before I go to work. WI is this Thursday at 10am and I am hoping for a great Week 1 loss! Gotta love losing that water weight! 
All is well in bridal land, so have no fear! After I last blogged, I came to the conclusion that I could not stick to a low carb diet, especially since I did not see real results. This prompted the eating of a couple of pints of Ben n' Jerry's over the past two weeks! 
So, it was Friday of last week, when I was feeling bloated and chubby as ever, that I come home to a voicemail from my bridal shop!! My consultant tells me, in a cheery voice, that my dress is in! "Oh shit," I think to myself. The consultant goes on to inform me that the manufacturer may have made a mistake with the length of my gown [when ordered, I was measured hollow to hem so that my dress comes full altered for length, due to the intricate work at the bottom of the dress and therefore, cannot be hemmed!] The consultant advises me to call and make an appointment asap, so that I have time to send the dress back if necessary!! Ughh! 
As you can all imagine, I am not a happy bride-to-be! Of course, in true male fashion, my DF is down 8 pounds!