• I really don't like the time change because I do a lot of stuff in the late afternoon/early evening and when it is dark at 530 pm it is very depressing to me.
• I loved Christmas timewhen my son was young but now no one seems to care about it much and no one wants to really participate and no one wants to help out with preparations. I guess I get tired of having to do all the shopping, hauling, wrapping, etc.
• My house always seems to be a disaster. I feel like as soon as Iget one thing organized almost everything else goes to pot. I would love for it not to be a big ordeal in order to decorate for Christmas or any holiday.
• I feel like I am in my marriage by myself and am very, very lonely.
• I have lots of feelings of stress when it comes to being around my family at holidays - mostly my parents. I feel like e1 is on pins and needles waiting for either parent to say something rude or insensitive or downright cruel. So have prepared myself that I can always leave if it gets too much. Thanksgiving actually went ok but I was exhausted by the tme it was over because I was tense winting the whole time for something to happen. Pehaps Ineed to adjust my expectations - good and bad. I guess since I am 41 I should be used to my parents negativity by now. I got up at 3:30 am last Thursday to go with them as Dad was having a little surgical procedure and would not be able to drive home after. My mom has such a bad back that she hasn't driven in a few years. I did not mind at all and it went well on way there and until Dad went in for procedure. Then Mom started with all her negative gossiping about e1. I shut her down at each step and tried to doze and read my book. Then she wanted to go eat in cafeteria but was pissed that she had to walk so far (she has to use a cane and can't walk very fast at all). Then she was mad that she had to walk so far back. She refuses to get a scooter etc. And I don't want her to get dependent on one but there would be times like that and like when they go shopping etc that it would come in handy. After surg I picked them up to drive them home. And not only did I have a backseat driver with my dad but a front seat driver with my mom. OMG. I told them that if I had to drive them anywhere again I was going to gag and bag them both! My sis died laughing when I told her that. I say things like this to break the tension and it makes e1 laugh but it is still exhausting and wears on me.
• Haven't been exercising much at all since foot flare up. Now am finding it hard to get back in the swing of things. A buddy called me and did meet her Sat morning for a short 2 mile run round LSU lakes. And glad to have boot camp tomorrow.
• We are going to have a large tax bill next year so even though I have been preparing for it I am worried about it constantly. Hub says he is too but you would never know it as he never talks about it or seems to worry about it. And yeah, yeah I know he is a man yada yada but F that. And I am pissed that it is his fault we are in this mess but yet I am the one that has had to fix it. SO I am harboring HUGE resentments about that.
• Everything seems to come to a head for me this time of year. I feel like all the demons I keep locking in the basement all got out and are playing tricks on me and taunting me.
• I am already nervous about Half Ironman New Orleans. Already thinking about what all the fast, light, skinnies are going to be thinking about me doing the race .... and that is the LAST thing I need to be worrying about!
• And did I mention that I a wayyyyyyyy overtired...
• *SIGH*

If any of you made it through all that - bless you! For now I think I better try to get some sleep. Will weigh in again in the morning. Foun measuring tape as I want to take a new set of measurements and plan to take some pictures ... although I will not gross you all out by posting them.

OK that's about all the honesty I can take right now ... rambling over ...

Just hang in there- I hope it all works out: the holidays, tax season- it'll all be over soon. 

I keep trying to get it through my MIL's head that Christmas doesn't mean she has to bake a ton of freaking cookies and decorate every room of the house but she always done and ALWAYS stresses herself over it.  Maybe next year just put up some pretty lights and convince the kids to help with the tree.

I swear I wish I could reach through the internet and give you a squeeze right now.  I'm sad to hear that you are stressed, tired, upset, worried... 

I know I can't say anything to make it all better, but I hope that just typing it out helped a little.  Just know that I and others are out here listening. 

And I hope your boot camp instructor kicked your a** as instructed - not because you deserve punishment but because sometimes it feels good to work your a** off (hope it was one of those days).   :)

 Oh, no! I'm sorry you are so stressed and lonely and worried about so many things!!! I'd love to jump out of your monitor and give you a hug, too!

I'm always on the defensive when visiting my family, which is why I'm kind of glad I won't be seeing them this year. But I'm sorry you have to worry about that!!!

Listen to me, ok? You know what those faster, lighter, skinnier runners are thinking about you doing the race? "That is awesome! Way to Go! Good for you!!!!!" Seriously!!!!!! You are right, that is the last thing you need to be worrying about!!!! Ok? 

Trust me, you're not alone in the whole carrying the brunt of the Christmas stuff. I have done everything myself. My husband probably doesn't even know what I got the kids. I shopped for the gifts, wrapped them, planned the menu, shopped (and will shop again) for the food, planned the family event for HIS side of the family, I did the cards, I have done everything. And you know what else? I feel lonely, too. Yes. Its so frustrating that we women have to take all this on while the men don't have to do a darned thing. Oh, wait. My husband did do gift shopping and wrapping for me, but he knows that if he didn't he'd be in the dog house, big time!

Sorry for the long comment to your even longer blog! LOL Seriously, you must have felt better after getting all that off your chest! Get some rest, ok?

Hugs and Christmas Cheer coming your way! Keep it up and never give up! Run that race with pride! You can do it!!!!!!!!!

Shelley