05/05/2009 22:43
going up up uppppp
I dont even know why i am writing.. maybe its just cuz i dont know whatelse to do.. i am beyond discouraged just frustrated mad upset everything.. i know i know how many blogs can i have about being mad.. well heres one more.. I was on point had like 3 weeks under my belt was doing good loosing slow but loosing.. i was down about 6 lbs and then one week all the way back up.. im like WHAT! yah i was shocked.. dont knwo what the hell happend but i was back back to where i started 4 weeks ago.. yup yup so what did i do.. what every fat person does EAT! yup ate and ate and ate.. now i feel like crap prob weigh MORE then i was a month ago and have to once start again.. I cant get it out of my head that it is because of this move that I have gained weight.. if i had a kitchen and could actually cook meals i wouldnt have this problem and i would prob be at goal by now.. so im mad.. mad that we moved.. mad that i dont have a kitchen.. mad that it is sooooo freakin hard to do this here.. i dont know what to do i want to go to the gym but when i have the time i cant ok sometimes i can but usually the husband is home and gets all butt hurt if i go so its easier to not deal with that and just stay home! i wish i could go to a fat camp or something where i was locked up for a month lol just to get my butt on track! Im desprate i dont know what to do.. i just cant do this by myself... i was so close.. sooo freakin close.. now im back at 301 lbs.. great huh.. yah not so much.. i hate myself right now..