Grr
Balancing between what's blog-safe and what's not is going to be hard fo rme, as my health balances on my pschology as well. And a lot of pressure comes from unsaid expectactions of my Valedictorian mother (and it doesnt help that my siblings have 4.0s and I only graduated with a 3. 45 .... )
I just got off the phone with my dear mother, after getting off the phone from the a Director of Catholic Social Services, where I am seeking to volunteer time with for the summer.
Now, its a long story, but the reason why I am trying to get any volunteer work is so that, hopefully, I update my references so I can get to take a year with AmeriCorps, or similar volunteer organization. And then get my foot in the door in non profit work...and the reason why the above declaration is soo important because, well, my mother's relationship with me is somewhat....well, let us say that I wish I am not the eldest and having to be the guinea pig for all the parenting exercises :(. And at 21 I really ought to have her off my back!
Sorry, that was explosive I know. And probably half of you dont want to hear this rant, as I know probably most of you are mothers yourselves.
But....little snippets of conversation:
Me: Hi, Mom, do [siblings] have a delayed opening tomorrow?
Mom: No not realy, only today.
Me: Ok, thanks, i have an interview of sorts with a non profit at 11 am tomorrow.
Mom: Oh, ok, where?
Me: East Orange.
Mom: Oh...that is a shady place [in my head: here we go....]
(back and forth we go about it...I complain about her hovering over me, she replies back that even adults are not exempt from being harmed from)
Me: MOM! I hope you dont expect that I have to stay away from those [shady] places in the type of work I'm getting into?!!!
Mom: Well...no....but still you have to be careful ....
(We hang up and then she calls back 2 seconds later)
Mom: Is this paid?
Me: (in my head: AGGGH!) No. [curt-like...i hang up without saying goodbye]
I guess I need to back track and expliain the whole steam that i'm having, as probably to most of you i'm overreacting. But I have to think of what to say as i dont want to say too much, even though my Mom will never read this blog. I do love her after all.
Sigh. Why oh why do we have the same personality?!!!