I'm feeling very blah today....I haven't posted in awhile.  Not sure why just not much to report I think. I haven't been great but I haven't been too bad.  I maintained last week....I guess I could be happy it wasn't a gain but really not sure how I feel about it. My not sure how I feel about a lot of things right now.  I've been eating good (no snacking past 7pm) since Sunday and I did get on my gazelle for 20 mins last night. That was the first time I've tried any type of formal exercise since injuring my knee last summer.  I didn't break a sweat but my knee did kill either.....so a bit of progress I guess.  I just don't feel the desire to change my situation and I can't figure out what the payoff is.

This morning DH and I had a big fight.....leading me to emotionally eat at lunch time.  I did alright with my meal (didn't eat everything but it was chicken fingers and fries...not healthy) but I just polished off a bag of chocolates (175g) and don't feel all that bad about it.  Actually I just feel numb.

I'm really struggling with the issues DH and I have and whether they can be worked out or not.  I'm really not happy with myself at all but can't find it in me to find the motivation I need to make a drastic change.  Why.... I really don't know.  

I just feel so.....tired.  That's the only word that really describes it.  Tired of work. Tired of responsibilities. Tired of life. WTF is wrong with me?

The weekend was a hit in my books....Saturday DH and I had a "Date" night, went for dinner (I had one bloody Caesar, 8 oz steak, baked pot and yummy steamed veggies) and a show.  I'm most proud of myself because of sticking to my "No eating after 7pm" goal since we did not get home until after 11pm.  I wasn't hungry, but one of the big things I struggle with is night time snacking.....It doesn't take much for me to polish off a 85g of microwave popcorn WITH butter and seasoning....It's FF popcorn, but after I add the butter.....Oy Vey! lol

Anyway, I was rewarded Saturday morning with a 4 pound loss for the past week!  I know quite a bit of it was water weight, but it just felt really good not binging and then beating myself up about it.  It's ridiculous how much time you can spend obsessing over your bad feelings toward yourself. I actually had time to really focus on my kids and DH.....wow what a concept (insert sarcastic grin here...lol)

Yesterday was OK too.  Although a little more difficult (we had pizza for dinner but I stopped at three pieces....I could easily eat five or more of this particular kind).  I made a great veggie soup out of a magazine.....not CE but a Canadian one.  My DH and kids even liked it!

Today though hasn't been the greatest, but it could definitely be worse.  For breakfast I had two small carrot muffins and a mandarin orange.  I had brought some homemade soup and a WW meal, fresh fruit and kashi granola bars, but some co-workers tempted me into going for dim sum.  I didn't overeat and most of the items were steamed not fried but when I got back from the office I inhaled the jelly beans I had leftover from like a month ago....WTF? I was craving something sweet and didn't even enjoy them but for some reason I needed the sugar rush.....well I'm not feeling good now, that's for sure.  I'm coming down and my pants are tight...lol

Dinner will be something light and as long as I stick to my "no snacking after 7" I should be ok.

Tracy

Food wise I'm doing alright.  No binges so far.....at this point that's a huge thing for me.  I've been tracking my food in DailyPlate.com.  Boy, is that tool snappy!!  I've been staying around the 1600-1900 cal mark since Monday and I can feel the water weight coming off so I'm hopeful for my WI on Saturday for the "Make them green with Envy" challenge.

Not too much else to report at this point. My mood is alright....not the best but I'm coping with TOM right now and that is no small feet...lol  I did have a cookie last night, but stopped at one. The sweet chocolate cravings I have right now are crazy!

Can't wait to do some grocery shopping tonight as I saw a few really good recipes in my new Clean Eating mag subscription. (Thanks Tatumsmom for the recommendation)!

Tracy

I like to think that I am an intelligent woman. I have a college degree, a good job and common sense......but why is it that I must obsess about my weight constantly and berate myself if after only three days of not overeating that I've only lost two pounds?????  Where is the common sense in THAT???

Logically I know that it's taken me years to put this weight on and NOW I'm expecting myself to take it off faster than lightening????? Sometimes I really aggravate the crap out of myself....gggrr

OK, end rant.

So today is a bit better, I'm still stuffed up but my tummy is OK.  I had not the best brekkie (coffee and a chunk of cheddar cheese...my appetite is not really there yet), but a nice lunch of Curry Chicken & Veggie Roti and a few pretzels for a snack.  2 litres of water so far and one diet Crush with Splenda.

My body is not up to exercise yet as I'm still very weak and tired from the flu but I'm hoping by tomorrow or Thursday to get on the treadmill for at least 20 mins.

Not much else to report other than I really need to be kinder to myself this year.

Cheers,

Tracy

 Well I've been down and out for the last couple of days due to the stomach virus. Talk about detoxing....lol  Not bad for the scale though but I know it's only water weight at this point.

Still feeling crummy today but getting better. My plan is to have a protein shake and some type of salad for lunch.  I need to get my tummy back to normal. 

Not much else to report at this point. My emotions are pretty good. Just trying to cope with the rest of my family being sick too.

My official weigh-in day will be Saturday mornings and I will take measurements once a month.