here i am again

well here i am again. this time the doctor has a bigger goal for me. wants me down to 175. its been a rough year and feel as big as ever. will get back on the band wagon. The bf started to "watch" what he eats and has lost 40 pounds. I cant let him weigh less than me so its crunch time.

trying hard to get back

i am really trying. i did my eliptical for 35 minutes 3 days ago but have been really sore so havent done it again yet. i am eating okay but not good. i have been out to have a couple of drinks now that im back from maine but i really have to cut that out too. my official weigh in at the doctoc was 4 pounds heavier. but i expected that. i havent taken my pills and didnt exercise for at least 2 weeks. i am needing to get this monkey off my back and kick myself in the ass to get it going again. my eating is no where near out of control but i am losing the will power i once had.

breakfast-yogurt & an apple

snack-100 calorie pack of oreo crisps.

lunch-sushi-turkey-1slice of pizza

dinner will be a taco salad with no tortilla shell. just the salad and meat, cheese, onions, lite sour cream and salsa. YUMMY i cant wait.

keep on keeping on losers

VACATION

Well im back, i had a great vacation. i watched what i ate but wasnt strict. i ate what i wanted and drank what i wanted. Didnt get out much due to rain rain and more rain, but i did get a chance to play some dodgeball with the nephews and neices for what seemed like an eternity. i got to see my family and got to finally meet the BF's mother. It turns out she liked me too. at the end of the trip she told me i couldnt leave. I was very relaxed and am having thoughts about moving back up north. I just really hate snow.

i am officially back on the wagon. I ate my yogurt and watermelon this morning. i took my pill, which i havnt taken in weeks. i will have some v8 juice and some egg beaters here in a little bit.

i am going back to work already. at 1 today. so i will do my eliptical at 1100 for 30 minutes and eat after that. it is goood to be back.

oh by the way i didnt gain any weight over the trip. well atleast thats what my scale said yesterday. It did say i was up by 2 this morning but its just about that time for tom. any way it will all come off. i want to be in onederland here soon. i dont know if i will make it by my birthday in august but i sure am going to try.

keep on keeping on losers

havent forgotten you guys

ive just been quite busy and really not too much to say. Ive been behaving pretty well. my eating is still eradic but i have kept it under control. i have faltered at times but never at a unretrievable rate. (in other words i have stuffed a few chips in my mouth and have eaten a sliver or two of wedding cake) i have lost 2 pounds i think. I do need to get on the eliptical more but i just cant seem to get my ass out of bed before 445 am on my mornings. which i ve been working quite a few. oh well. i know what i have to do so i guess i will just have to do it.

keep on keeping on losers

That wasnt too bad

I got up, had my egg beaters, and a yogurt. waited an hour, did 35 minutes on the eliptical, now updating and eating my grapes. i am ready for the day and the week with food choices. I have sabotaged my goals but am back on track. Thank God i havent gained, just maintained. but not losing. well im going to follow my own advice and keep on keeping on. i will lose at least 5 lbs before i go up to maine. i leave on the 31st. i WILL be 222 or less by then.

here we go again

well after a hellacious day on sunday and a day of recovery on monday i am ready to go back on track fully. sunday was the worst day ever. i wanted to quit my job about 10 times, almost cried and after working 17 hours i finally went home. i was not prepared with food at all, but i knew this going in, and all day was an indian wedding and i wouldnt touch that food with a 10 foot pole sooooooooo i ate, and i ate and i picked and then ate some more all bad stuff, not one good thing went in my mouth for the entire day. junk junk and more junk. but today was my day off with the BF so i didnt beat myself up over it but i spent a good 3 hours cooking and preparing for the week to come.

for din din tonight i prepared stuffed shells. I know it doesnt sound very good for you but i went all out with specials. i used fat free ricotta, fat free cream cheese. low fat italian blend cheese and spinach. ( i did use italian sausage in the boys) i made an alfredo sauce with low fat sour cream and skipped the butter and egg. it came out pretty good. Not as gooey as i like but tasty and filling for sure. had a nice salad with that and one breadstick.

for the rest of the week i have prepared 2 servings of the stuffed shells (3 ea) i grilled chicken for "big salads" i cooked and chopped and cooked and chopped and made enough healthy chicken salad for some of my lunches this week. i found ground chicken at the grocery and cooked that up with taco spice and have enough stuff cut and prepped for "taco salad without the shell". i just have to hit the store that carries my yogurt tomorrow and i should be set for the week. i dont want to eat like i did on sunday ever again. TOM is lurking and driving me nuts. just come already so you can go!!!

i will have no one to blame but myself if i fail this week. Keep on keeping on losers

3 am

to me its still thursday. but its really friday. i started off really good today but ended up going out for a few drinks after work. a bunch of empty calories but i am under the 1500 range. i did my eliptical for 35 minutes earlier today. ate well with everything else. oh well cant change things now. i hope all is well with the rest of you. keep on keeping on losers

not too bad today

i was busy all day again. My only screw up was i had a helping of animal crackers. God i havent had those in years. ate right the rest of the day. my special dinner addition tonight was cauliflower-mashed with a dollop offat free sour cream and .25 cup of low fat cheese (mexican blend). It was really good, different and even the "boys" liked it. I will make it again. i hope all is well with all. btw=did the eliptical for 35 minutes-burned 550 calories.

keep on keeping on losers

Poster Child???

-i think not. but thats what she said. The doc told me i was her poster child. I lost 8 pounds this month. i wasnt too happy but she was ecstatic(sp?). I guess its good im still losing but after that fantastic first month, i just wanted more. i did good today -stayed under the 1200 calories. did the eliptical for 35  minutes and still have room for a snack a bit later. maybe popcorn while watching Hells Kitchen? God i love that show. Well i hope you are all still on track or back on track. Keep on keeping on losers

that is it!!!!

i must get back on track, and back on track good. i havent been bad mind you just not on MY plan. I took a bit  of a break hoping it will jump start me again. I see the Doc tomorrow and hopefully she will have some kind of info for me.

today went like this

breakfast yogurt, grapes about 30 of them

had philly cheese steak without the bread (cafeteria at work)

came home and did the eliptical for 30 minutes

ate a few carmel rice cakes while cooking dinner

dinner was tacos-i had taco salad with very little meat it was great. ive been craving tacos for a while.

i have drank plenty of water today and taking some kind of colon cleanser  to move things along.

tom is right around the corner so i have to control myself-i bought some rice cakes and some 100 packs and some mochachinno sugar free jello pudding. thats got to be enough junk.

i have a new mini goal-i would like to lose 10 more pounds by the 31st=we are flying to maine and i will get to meet the bfs mother and grandmother for the first time. We will then take a ride to CT to see my mom and family for a day or two. its going to be a busy week.

i will try to blog more often, it definately keeps me on track more.

keep on keeping on losers