ummmmmm

Just so you know. Not a big fan of this banner ad all up in my face. I know this is free and all, but really guys, "this is my dance space, this is yours."

sushi

Well, that will teach me to be all, "three weeks with no cheating." The minute I write about it, I cheat. Well, it wasn't so much a cheat as just eating off plan, which I did not want to do for a couple of months. So I kinda think that is a cheat.

I don't feel too bad about it. I had 8 pieces of California roll for dinner tonight, which looks to be about 330 calories. So with the avocado counting as the fat I'd normally get from dressing, it's about the same calories as a Jenny dinner.

I'm just kind of freaked about eating food that isn't on my menu, especially if it is not prepared by me. I know I have to learn how to deal with this business if I'm really going to successfully change my eating habits, but I am just way paranoid right now.

I'm also scared of opening the flood gates. After I finished the sushi, the fat girl in my head thought,"Well, now that you've done that you might as well have some chocolate."

Excuse me. What kind of logic is this?

I didn't have any chocolate and don't plan to, but why would I even go there? It's scary. Especially when I've got two weeks of travel coming up where I know I'll have to deal without Jenny food. And I don't want to reverse everything that I've done so far. Not again.

Then there's this freaky little anorexic chick in my head going, "You ate SUSHI!!??? You will pay fatty. You can't eat any fruit today in case you went over 1200 calories. As a matter of fact, go run 10 miles."

I need to get a grip. I really think the sushi was ok. I'm still going to have my fruit because it's good for me. Fatty and Anny just need to shut up.

Anybody out there incorporate Sushi into their diets? Do you think I'm gauging that calorie estimate about right?

working for the weekend

Well, I gotta say, this weekend has been so fun! Still haven't cleaned, bleh, but got up early (for me) and went to the 10:40 showing of Spiderman 3. The Metreon, which is usually ridiculous, was totally empty, so it was way more fun that it normally would have been. You usually have to get to the theatre 30 min. ahead of time just to get a decent seat.

The movie was pretty good. The action scenes were pretty good and it had some pretty funny moments, including this weird John Travolta strutting down the street kind of bit. Not an amazing movie though.

Then went shopping again! We had some gift cards left over from the wedding that we needed to spend so we got some house stuff at Macy's.

Things are going great with Jenny Craig. Monday marks my 3rd week without cheating once! And it hasn't been hard at all. I've been doing this since July 2006, and this is the first time that I feel like it's really going to work. And I don't feel impatient at all. I think that has a lot to do with this site and all of you wonderful people out there. I never imagined I would meet such wonderful, kind people when I joined.

Thanks for being great y'all!

blehvioli

It was a great day today! We explored a neighborhood I've never been to before, so got a lot of walking in, and we did a little shopping.

We ended up going to the mall, and we were both starving after shopping. I stayed OP though. Got a garden salad with red wine vinegar dressing. It was really filling and didn't make me feel bad at all.

I made Jenny Craig Cheese Ravioli for dinner, and I gotta say, it was so bleh. I have like 5 boxes of it because I never want to eat it. The cheese tastes like layers of cardboard to me and it really grosses me out. I like most Jenny foods, but this is ick.

Anyone have any tips on making this better? I'm not going to order it anymore, but I've still got five more boxes. Help!

hello sunshine

OMG!

It is the most beautiful day in San Francisco. It's sunny and warm with a wonderful cool breeze. This is when I LOVE living here. Remember all that stuff about cleaning, blah, blah, blah? So not happening.

As soon as I can get the sleepiest husband in the world up. We're going shopping and maybe exlporing!

Have a great saturday all you rocking chicks...and dudes if you're out there.

chaos

My dog got into the trash yesterday and ate something that did not agree with her. She's vomitted all morning and is now sleeping peacefully (thank goodness). But dog vomit = gross. I've cleaned everything and it still smells. I think it's her, but I don't want to wake her for a bath.

Plus, my house is just a disaster period. My husband and I are very messy. No matter how hard we try to do that clean a little bit every day crap, it just doesn't work.

So this weekend will be full of bathing and cleaning and hopefully something fun in-between. I hate being such a bad housekeeper.

Well, no, I really don't care that I'm a bad housekeeper at all. I could totally care less honestly. I just wish I could afford a housekeeper. So, I guess that means I hate that I'm not rich?

Anybody else out there a slob?

monthly adolescence

Dear PMS Fairy,

Thank you for the spray of little bumps you lovingly left on my chin last night, but it's not enough. The blemishes, irrational mood swings, weeping and soul crunching chocolate cravings are just not making me feel enough like a 14-year old and they're definitely not making me want to die.

Come on. I know you can do better than that.

Oh! I know. Maybe throw in a fight with my mom or some icky sticky poetry. That might just do the trick.

And don't forget that I absolutely must retain at least 10 lbs. of water and have lower back pains for - oh - two days.

Thanks for keepin' it real,

Amanda

sleepy

Once again I stayed up too late, and now I am snickety snackety. I'm going to eat a few cherry tomatoes and hit the hay. I also wish I would stop biting my lip. I think I might be nervous about something. This is worth thinking about.

Goodnight!

shout out to f - my jcc

I told my JCC about my blog today because it is such a great community and has been such a great tool keeping me on track, but you know what else is great? My JCC.

I've had 2 or 3 JCCs before her, obviously they weren't that awesome cause I can't even remember how many there were.

My JCC is great. Here are the reasons why:

1.When we first started talking, I was having a really hard time getting to the gym. I just couldn't make myself go. So, on my weekly call she said that she was going to call me the following Thursday to see if I went to the gym. She went out of her way to do this, cause I know she's got tons of appointments during the day not to mention a busy home life.

Needless to say, I got my lazy butt to the gym because how embarrassing would it be if I had to tell her I didn't when she called. And, she called right when she said she would. It was just the jump-start I needed.

2.She's way more reliable than me. I'm always missing our calls.

3.I had a glitch in my order, which I know wasn't her fault, and I FREAKED OUT on her. I'm talking, pre-menstrual, sobbing while driving, I'm quitting everything and going to live in a hole freaked out. Not only was she really great about straightening everything out, she was really nice and I don't even think she thinks I'm crazy.

4.I've gained and lost the same 10 lbs. about 3 times since she became my JCC. This is very frustrating and I'm ashamed of it. My JCC recognizes the positive things that I'm doing. I think she knows that I'm trying even when I fail. I appreciate that.

I'm not sure if she will visit this site, but I know that I wouldn't have gotten through the past two weeks without the support of everyone on this blog, and I probably wouldn't have made it to this blog without the support of my JCC.

Thanks F!

the secret's out

In the past, there have only been about 4 people who knew my weight - my husband, my mom, my JCC and me. It's been my most precious secret. I wouldn't even have told my dog for fear that she might tell other dogs who might laugh at me at the park.

Well, the other day, after repeatedly refusing to eat the mouth watering Belgium chocolates a co-worker kept offering me (she had just gotten back from visiting her family in the Netherlands, so we're talking about the real deal here), I finally broke down and said, "Look, I'm on Jenny Craig, and I can't have any damn chocolate! Stay the hell away from me."

I kid! I politely told her that I was on a diet and that I didn't want to mess it up. She started asking me about Jenny Craig and stuff, and I was telling her about how great the program was and that I wanted to lose 60 lbs. And she was all like, "60 lbs! That's too much! How much do you weigh?"

"Uh, I'm not telling you that," I said.

"Well how much do you want to weigh?"

Hmmm. I may be fat, but I'm not stupid. I just told you I wanted to lose 60 lbs. Now if I tell you how much I want to weigh, it doesn't take a math genius to know you can put two and two together and figure out how much I weigh homeslice.

"I'm onto your game, I'm not telling," I said.

But then I started thinking about it. I mean my weight is plastered all over this site. Anyone who takes the time to read this little blog will know a lot about me, including my most carefully guarded secret. Why am I being so weird about it now?

So, I told her.

And it didn't feel so bad. She didn't laugh or anything, but more importantly, I really don't care what she thinks about how much I weigh. And I think that not being ashamed of my weight is going to make it a lot easier to lose it.

I will not, however, be sharing this information with the appearance-obsessed men in my office. They can suck it.