the fruits of my labor

Hey ladies,

I'm ridiculously tired right now. I've basically been working on the same project for the last four days. It's pretty much done now.

I'm under a ton of pressure right now with work. I've got to finish another flash and two brochures and lots of other things y'all probably don't want me to get into.

Anyway, I just wanted to check in. Let you all know I was still alive and will be posting regularly as soon as I get some of this work done.

I've done well all week until today! I was just so stressed. I ate chocolate and over ate in general. Sad. I'm really trying to be positive about this slip. It's going to happen right?!

Tomorrow is another day, I keep telling myself. I really don't want to screw this up. I've managed the stress eating pretty well, but I just couldn't take it today.

Send me happy thoughts. I will catch up on your blogs as soon as I can. I really miss you all!

kindness

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for their kind words and congratulations. It always amazes me how supportive everyone here is, and I appreciate it so much. And I truly hope that I can do the same for you.

4th weigh in

Down 1.6 lbs today. Just 1.6 lbs away from losing 10lbs! I really hope I can lose 1.6 next week. It will be nice to put those 10 lbs behind me for good. This is also 1 month on Jenny Craig. Yeah!

Not feeling too hot today. I won't get into too many details, but I have this problem/disease/something that no doctor has been able to diagnose. When I eat certain raw fruits or vegetables, they don't process or break down or they get stuck or something (I know, how scientific am I), causing severe stomach pains and non pleasant bathroom behavoirs.

It's not IBS, not Crohn's, not Diverticulitus. All I know for sure is that it fucking hurts, and results in a trip to the emergency room. And I'm no baby when it comes to pain.

One of these attacks happened last night, so I'm petting my sore tummy and feeling wiped.

The best advice I've gotten is to stay away from the trigger foods, but, here's the thing, they change. Sometimes strawberries do it, sometime cucumbers, sometimes cherries, sometimes celery, sometimes corn, sometimes apples. I really never know what's going to start it. I've cut cucumbers and apples completely. *sigh* It's difficult to avoid all these when you're dieting.

Does anyone else suffer from this? I'd like to know I'm not alone. Or better yet, have you discovered a cure that I can whack my doctors over the head with?

if you don't hear from me, it's because my laundry ate me

Geez. How did this happen? My laundry is slowly taking over my apartment. I think it wrote my landlord to get the lease changed to its name the other day.

That's just fine laundry. Let's see how you afford San Francisco rent on one income. Good luck with that.

Oh, that's how this happened. We've been broke for the past two weeks and haven't been able to get quarters for the laundrymat.

Don’t get me wrong, we make a decent living. You just have to be a millionaire to not be broke at some point during the month in this city. Or you have to be good a budgeting.

The piles of clothing around me obviously point to a lack of budgeting know-how. But it's worth it.

Unless we have an earthquake that kills us. Then I'm pissed at you San Francisco.

funkytown

Thanks to everyone for your comments. Sorry I've been slack the past couple days. I'm under some major work pressure, and have been in a major funk.

I've been working on some projects that just make me feel like I'm not creative enough or good enough. This happens to me every month or so. This crushing feeling of anxiety and inadequacy.

I just feel trapped and paralyzed at the moment.

It's really a terrible feeling, but I guess it's just part of the creative process. I really need to be productive tomorrow. If I can make some headway on a few projects, I'll feel much better.

Sometimes I wish I had a job that didn’t require me to constantly think and create. Not all the time, most of the time I love it, but not so much right now.

Eh, I need some kind of pick me up.

I haven't been keeping up with everyone, but I will get caught up tomorrow. Hope you’ve all been doing well!

Things are going great on the diet front, and I actually went to the gym today. Yeah.

Thanks for all your advice on the lifting weights thing. I bought a book today that gives you a plan that only requires 21 minutes of weight lifting a day. I know how important it is; I just spend way too much time on it  with my current plan and needed to cut that down. I’ll let you know how this book goes. Seems pretty promising so far though.

Talk to you tomorrow. Heroes rocked tonight did it not? One more episode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

workout question

But first! An update on the uber hunger. I managed to make it through the day by eating my normal meals about an hour early, and I ate an extra orange. It's just an orange I know. A pretty good choice given my past history, but I still hate that I had to eat it! Bleh.

What's weird is that this isn't TOM. I was just hungry!

I did 10,000 steps yesterday and managed about 6,500 today. Which is a good start I think. I commited to my JCC that I would go to the gym 3 days this week, so I need to get on that.

Anyway, here is my question. I did a 3-day session with a personal trainer at my gym a few months ago, and she set me up with a workout. Upper body one day, rest, lower body, rest and an ab routine. They're pretty good workouts, but I hate doing them because they take forever!

When I do go to the gym, I generally do 45-60 minutes of cardio. I enjoy it, and I think I need to do at least that much to burn a significant amount of calories. Then, if I do my strength training, it takes another hour! Add a pilates or yoga class, and I'm clocking 3 hours.

It's just too long, and I don't like strength training in the first place, so it's really easy for me to just not do it. Or I just give up on the gym altogether because I don't have that kind of time. But I know that's bad, and I want to start building muscle. Do any of you guys have a plan that creates results, but takes about 30 min. - strength training that is?

Would love any advice.

the hunger

Holy cow! I am freaking hungry. This is the first day I've had on Jenny where I've felt like this. I'm famished. It's not emotional; it's pure rumbly tumbly hunger.

I've even got a bit of a headache. I’ve eaten JC cereal with Soymilk, my JC snack (early!), ff yogurt, JC lunch and a banana. I'm gonna have to find some veggies to munch on or something before I devour something I'll regret.

I wish I knew what causes these days where you're just so hungry you don't know what to do with yourself. It's very strange.

accentuate the positive

I'm beginning my fourth week on Jenny Craig, making next Wednesday my 1 month anniversary. This is also my fourth time getting back on the program. I originally lost about 20 lbs., gained it back, then have lost the same 10 lbs. several times.

The past couple times I've been back on the program have been struggles. I wanted to lose the weight, but didn't want to do everything it took to make that happen.

I was jealous of the people around me who got to eat real food and pouted alot, and I felt like everyone was judging me. I felt disgusting and unworthy. I was very unhappy.

Now that the first month is coming to a close, I'm realizing just how simple this can be. I just have to let go of all those negative emotions and focus on the positive ones and the time will just fly by and the pounds will fly off.

I would like to reach my goal in a year, which is definitely doable. So, I've got 11 more months of dieting to go. That's not too bad. Those months are going to fly by. Before I know it, I'm going to be at goal because this time I'm not going to fail. I just know it really deep down.

I can't wait.

10,000 Steps

Hey all you party people!

So, I've been trying this 10,000 steps thing sporatically. I keep forgetting to wear my pedometor, or it gets messed up and pisses me off, so I haven't really been keeping up with it.

Well, I'm gonna start trying harder. I'm at 7,445 so far. 2,500 left to go.

Now how I can I remember to wear this sucker everday?

3rd Weigh In

Just wanted to check in real quick. Had my third weigh in today, and I'm down 3.4 lbs! Guess the sushi was totally okay. I love post TOM weigh ins. Thanks to all of you guys for your support. You all have made this so much easier.