sneaky

I was sneaky and took a peak at my weight this morning. Okay, really I do this every day because I am like that. But, the scale said 183.4! Yeah. This working out is really paying off. It may go up again, I know, but it was nice to see. Now if I could just see a difference in my clothes.

I'm trying really hard to get geared up for when I am out of town next week. I really need to keep the working out up and stay on plan as much as I can. I will be so upset if I come back and weigh 185 or more again.

3,700 calories

That's right. I burned 3,700 calories in the past 7 days! I think I've discovered the best way to motivate myself to exercise. Steps, miles, hours—whatever—those mean nothing to me. But calories, that’s something I understand. A trainer I had forever ago suggested I get a heart monitor set up thing to make sure I was reaching fat burning heart rate status, but I never really used it. Well, I’ve used it this week and logging all these calories burned has really kept me motivated. 3,500 calories is equal to 1lb. Hope I can say goodbye to that pound soon.

stinky fish and fireworks

My husband and I walked down to Pier 39 to watch the fireworks tonight. It's the first time we've seen them in San Francisco, and they were absolutely phenomenal. I don't normally get all jazzed about a fireworks display, but my gosh they were just really cool. It helped that we were in a place away from the musical accompaniment. For the first time since I became a teenager, I actually felt that little magical feeling you get when you're seeing fireworks as a kid.

I stood at the waterfront; watching them explode and sparkle with a small smile when a little girl behind me whispered lightly to her mother, “look at all those fairies running across the bay.” It was beautiful and we were all young.

BUT, it smelled really bad. The fishy smell was kickin’ tonight.

Happy 4th y’all!

weigh in

I'm officially weighing in again today after my two weeks of craziness. It's not too bad, but keep in mind that I've had five days to get back into it. I'm up 1.2 pounds to 185.2. Not terrible, but I so wish I wasn't up any. And I really, really want to be in the 170s. I'm going out of town again next Wednesday, so I have a week to get myself geared up. I'll be gone for 10 days. I'm going to bring some Jenny Craig breakfasts, snacks and lunches with me, but I know I'll have to eat out a good bit. Bleh. Hope everyone's having a great 4th of July. We're just bumming around the house until fireworks.

the great beautification of (mid) 2007

Thank you for all your non-tough-love comments. I’m doing so much better now, and I know that a big part of getting back on track was posting here.

So, I’m finishing up day three of being back on JC, and I’m feeling really good. I have also gone to the gym three times. I burned over 500 calories each day! Yeah! Still need to get the weight training started, but I’ve got a plan for that.

I’ve also decided that I need some other things to occupy my time besides thinking about losing weight, so I’m not constantly thinking about food. I’m either thinking about dieting or overeating, and I’m pretty tired of thinking about both. So! It’s time for the Great beautification of (mid) 2007.

In addition to getting my butt in gear and losing weight, I’m also going to get other parts of me in shape. I think it will help me feel better overall and keep my brain occupied.

Here’s the plan so far:

1. Feet-Pumice once a day (My feet are okay, but they can get crusty sometimes. I also have a family history of skanky feet, so this is me trying to avoid that.)

2. Skin-I just ordered a Philosophy skin care system. I’ve never really been one to do much with my face. I never had acne or anything, so I sometimes even go to bed with make-up on. (Shocking) I am noticing some aging recently though, so this is me fighting the good fight against wrinkles and stuff.

3. Teeth-Got some whitening stuff that is supposed to be really good.

4. Hair-Also ordered a Philosophy hair getting in shape system.

So, once I get on a schedule with these things (and determine if they really work and have some more money), I’m going to start on these things:

1. Haircut and color-I need this bad, but I ran out of money on Drugstore.com this month single-handedly keeping Philosophy afloat, so it will have to wait.

2. Pedicure and Manicure-One that I actually keep up.

3. Messages-I want to start getting one once a week, there’s a very inexpensive place down the street.

Okay, that’s all for the great Beautification of (mid) 2007 so far. I’ll let you guys know how it goes.

downer-sorry

I was kidnapped by aliens, who force-fed me white chocolate and potato chips and any number of delicious desserts and fried things. They also forced me to be a sedentary cranky pants.

That's where I've been. I fell off the wagon, straight into a Willy Wonka land in which I was Augustus-tina Gloop drowning in the chocolate lake.

I've been dreading writing here, but the longer I wait, the worse it's going to be, so here I am.

I did great on my trip until the last day or two and then I just kind of lost the will to live I guess. I came home with every intention of getting back on track, and that lasted for about a day. Now I’m disappointed and depressed and 4lbs heavier. At least I hope it’s just 4 lbs.

I’m ready to get back on track tomorrow, and I’m asking you dear friends to help me. Please don’t be mean. I don’t really need tough love right now. I need some understanding, from those of you who truly know what compulsive overeating is. It’s so horrible. I feel so horrible.

I can’t begin to tell you all the secret little sessions I’ve been having with copious amounts of food the past week and a half. I’m very disturbed by it all. Should I seek counseling? Is this just me? Can anyone help me? Is there a drug out there to stop it? Can I just start drinking lots of wine instead, replace one bad habit with another? Will I really be able to stop tomorrow? Why am I so sad?

There has been much crying and gnashing of teeth and what is wrong with me exclamations! and some painful self-bashing. My husband wants to save me, to help, but little pep talks just piss me off. I need a mountain-moving miracle, or I guess I just need to move on.

*Sigh*

Please tell me you all have gone through this. Do you have any advice?

Will be checking up on you all this weekend. Thanks to those of you who e-mailed me. Sorry I didn’t e-mail back. I’ve been despondent and without the will to write you back about how crippity-crappity I have behaved. I am such a fatty. I wish I were anorexic. I know that is a horrible thing to say, but it can’t be much worse that this compulsive overeating shit, and at least with that you can wear cute clothes.

Bringing you down all over town,

Amanda

just another weigh in

So, I'm down 1.2 pounds this week to 184, making my total weightloss 11 lbs. Which, don't get me wrong, I'm really happy about, but also totally scared shitless about. Here's why:

I've lost this first 15 lbs. so many times before, it just doesn't even feel like a real accomplishment to me anymore. I don't think I'll really feel good until I get into the 170's, a place I haven't been in a long time.

I'm leaving tomorrow for a 10-day business trip. I have to do this once every couple of months, and I'm notorious for gaining back lost weight during these trips. I think I can at least maintain, like I did while my parents were here, but I'm just freaked. I don't think I can handle having to loose any of this weight again.

This has to be the last time. Tell me it won't come back! Anyone have any travel tips/stories? I'd really like to hear them.

crack attack!

I was just out, merrily retrieving my dry cleaning from the cleaners across the street, when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a full THREE INCHES of butt-crack!

And, no my friends. Not plumber crack. Not construction worker crack. Not girl wearing too tight pants crack. Not even crazy homeless person crack. This was petite, 87 pound, cute Asian girl wearing way cute top crack.

Cheeks burning with third-party embarrassment, I wondered what to do? Inform complete stranger of blatant crackocity? What if said crack showing was on purpose or simply a fuck you to us non-crack bearing folk?

Paralyzed, I simply stood at the corner, dry cleaning in hand, as the crack made its way down the street, mocking my indecision.

Moral of the story: Even petite, skinny, fashionable Asian girls look like ass in public sometimes.

And also, my spell check suggested I change crackocity to crack city, because really that makes more sense now doesn’t it?

getting better

I had a great weekend with my parents. Thanks to everyone who sent well wishes.

I did very well while my parents were here. I allowed myself one day to splurge a bit and split a dessert with my husband and had two glasses of wine. I think I was a little depressed after my parents left, because I had a binge day on Tuesday. I'm feeling great now though. I've been back on Jenny for two days and feeling really good.

I weighed this morning, and I'm down to 185.2, so that's down about 1lb. in the past two weeks. I'm pretty pleased with that considering I had family in town and it's TOM.

Now if I can just get through my birthday and a week and a half of traveling. Hopefully I'll be able to post a bit more this week. Things are calming down slightly at work.

Going to try to catch up with everyone tonight. Miss you guys!

busiest three weeks ever

Hey everyone!

Actually have a few hours to catch up on everyone's blogs and just wanted to say hi! My parents are in town this weekend, so we're doing lots of fun stuff. Muir Woods and Sausalito yesterday, Napa and Sonoma today, driving down the coast tomorrow and San Francisco touristy stuff Monday.

I didn't lose any weight at weigh in last week, but I'm not stressing it. Didn't gain either. I got over my little binge session. Things haven't been too bad eating while parents are here either. I've been watching my portions and trying to eat mostly vegetables and chicken and fish when we go out.

The next three weeks are going to be nuts, so I'm not going to be on much. Next week is insane projects again for work. The week after is my birthday and I'm leaving for Chicago for work. The next week I'll be in Georgia.

I'm happy to have a full week of Jenny in there and hope I can keep in together while I'm traveling, then things should calm down for a few months. Really looking forward to that.

Anyway, off to read what's been going on with you guys. Sorry I've been away so long.