I was kidnapped by aliens, who force-fed me white chocolate and potato chips and any number of delicious desserts and fried things. They also forced me to be a sedentary cranky pants.
That's where I've been. I fell off the wagon, straight into a Willy Wonka land in which I was Augustus-tina Gloop drowning in the chocolate lake.
I've been dreading writing here, but the longer I wait, the worse it's going to be, so here I am.
I did great on my trip until the last day or two and then I just kind of lost the will to live I guess. I came home with every intention of getting back on track, and that lasted for about a day. Now I’m disappointed and depressed and 4lbs heavier. At least I hope it’s just 4 lbs.
I’m ready to get back on track tomorrow, and I’m asking you dear friends to help me. Please don’t be mean. I don’t really need tough love right now. I need some understanding, from those of you who truly know what compulsive overeating is. It’s so horrible. I feel so horrible.
I can’t begin to tell you all the secret little sessions I’ve been having with copious amounts of food the past week and a half. I’m very disturbed by it all. Should I seek counseling? Is this just me? Can anyone help me? Is there a drug out there to stop it? Can I just start drinking lots of wine instead, replace one bad habit with another? Will I really be able to stop tomorrow? Why am I so sad?
There has been much crying and gnashing of teeth and what is wrong with me exclamations! and some painful self-bashing. My husband wants to save me, to help, but little pep talks just piss me off. I need a mountain-moving miracle, or I guess I just need to move on.
*Sigh*
Please tell me you all have gone through this. Do you have any advice?
Will be checking up on you all this weekend. Thanks to those of you who e-mailed me. Sorry I didn’t e-mail back. I’ve been despondent and without the will to write you back about how crippity-crappity I have behaved. I am such a fatty. I wish I were anorexic. I know that is a horrible thing to say, but it can’t be much worse that this compulsive overeating shit, and at least with that you can wear cute clothes.
Bringing you down all over town,
Amanda
Posted By: acwardell
Comments to this post:
06/29/2007 08:19
::hugs::
Though it is likely not a huge consolation, I think it's safe to say most of us have been there. I know I've fallen off the wagon and landed hard in a big pile of take-away, cookie treats and lard-butt lack of exercise. And the longer I stay in this wallow, the less inspiration I have to pull myself back out.
So I understand. I'm with you. And it sucks.
But that being said, we both know what we need to do. Ask for support, clean out the fridge, ban the dreaded take away and start fresh. It's a clean slate. You may have taken a few steps back but you're still farther forward than when you started. You can do this!!
We all fall off. Check out my blog. I've been out of control with the freakin Mexican food for the past week and a half. It happens. But we also know that we can get back on track whenever we choose. I think most of us on here are compulsive eaters. And vacations and trips make it even worse. There is counseling for it. Seriously. I have thought about it many times. I just can't afford it right now, especially while I'm doing JC. LOL!
Fresh starts are great. I agree with Jenny. Just wipe the slate clean. Don't be mean to yourself. Tell yourself that you had fun, it's over, and you're moving on. I know you can do it. You've come so far and you've been so motivated.
I am sure we can all relate to your situation, otherwise we wouldn't be EP bloggers. You do NOT want to see how I eat on vacation - not pretty! It always takes me around a week (sometimes a month) to get back on track after overindulging. All I can suggest to you is to start by adding a little exercise back into your routine, like a 30-minute walk every day. Once you start moving and getting some energy back it will be much easier to eat better.
I'm glad you bit the bullet and posted today. I am convinced the support you'll get will make all the difference in your life. Thanks for sharing.
I am falling in the floor..because I have missed your posts. Good, bad or ugly...I have missed them...We take you any way you come. We are here for love and support...and as far as you falling off the wagon...there is always a spot for you back up there. I hope you have a great day!
We all have set backs. It's ok. We're human. That's why it's progress and not perfection. If we all didn't love food so much we wouldn't be overweight. It's ok. The important thing is that you're going to get back on track! We're here for you!
are you writing thoughts from my own head?!?!?! How'd you get in there? Seriously though, I feel the same way and I have only started to help myself with it because I have found someone that has the EXACT same problem as me and we talk about it like EVERYDAY lol. Some reason it has helped me.
I hope the best for you!! We can talk anytime if you need to.
YOU CAN DO IT! :DDDD
