This morning I was 13st 6lb giving me a 13lb weight loss. I'm really pleased with the result and would be even happier if tomorrow morning, the day of the wedding I was 13st 5lb but we will see.
I am off to the Bride to be's house for champagne and nibbles so I am not having dinner so hopefuly a few crisps won't kill me.
Today I had my nails done, my spray tan and inch loss body wrap, bit of a dissapointment, my fat bingo wings were 14inches at the beginning of the "chemical diet", 14inches after my 2 week measurement and 14inches after my inch loss body wrap!! so dissapointing, although I think one arm lost half an inch. The rest of my body was a bit dissapointing, half an inch here, 2/3 inch there. I have lost 2 inches off my abdomen which is good but I'm not that bothered about my abdomen! anyway if anything it was a relaxing 2 hours being wrapped up like a mummy.
So the time has finally come tomorrow I will be able to drink champagne for breakfast, lunch and dinner, have a lovely breakfast, canapes, bangers and mash and the all important amazing wedding cake!! Can't wait, I'll post some photos after, hopefull I won't be too dissapointed with the results after all my hard work!!
What I eat on Monday is something that needs to be thought about but not until after tomorrow!!
Today is Monday and I have successfully completed the 2 week "Chemical Diet" with a guaranteed loss of 14lbs, well I didn't lose 14lbs but 10lbs is good enough for me especially since I had last Saturday and Sunday morning off at the hen night.
I found this weekend quite tough, it's quite boring not being able to enjoy a nice meal or takeaway and bottle of wine with Mr M and I've got quite bored of eating anything. Friday night I was supposed to have fish and salad, I just had a plate of plain smoked salmon, yesterday I was supposed to have chicken and salad and then more chicken for dinner, instead I just had 2 plain chicken breasts for lunch and couldn't be bothered to eat it again for dinner. Hunger is no longer an issue.
Saturday I was an angel and even went to kickboxing after my dry toast breakfast. Doing such an energetic class on such low fuel wasn't the best idea but i've not been to the gym for weeks so thought it would boost my loss. I have to admit I was quite dissapointed that i'd only lost 1lb over the weekend but perhaps the starvation mode is kicking in, even though i've not felt starving.
The cravings have been quite interesting, I don't crave crisps, biscuits, chocolate like i normally would. I've just been craving "normal" food, pasta, couscous, roasted vegetables, pizza, spag bol, fajitas. I even opened the cupboard yesterday and thought how lovely it would be to eat the tin of chicken noodle soup that was staring at me. I never eat soup, I hate soup! Right now I'd love it.
All weekend I've been saying to Mr M, this time next week it'll all be over and I'll be able to eat all sorts and have been planning ahead what I'm going to eat over the weekend, there's just so many things I fancy I won't know what to eat first and I really don't want to ruin all my hard work in one sitting!
I am going to continue the diet until Thursday (only 4 more days to go) and hopefully I may just get to that 14lb mark, my mum took my dress in again over the weekend because of the inches I've lost but I don't think she'll be doing it again this week, and I have an inch loss body wrap booked for Thursday so hopefully with my final weight loss, the wrap and spray tan I may not look as bad as I did at the hen night.
I had lost 5lbs with WW in the weeks leading up to the Chemical Diet so I have officially lost 15lbs in recent weeks but I just want a few more.
The hen night was a great success, everyone had a lovely time and I thoroughly enjoyed eating penny sweets, drinking wine & vodka and demoloshing the best hotel breakfast I've ever eaten. The pole dancing was great exercise and I've only just stopped aching, but still covered in bruises. I nearly cried with embarrassment when I moved the pole as I was too heavy, the teacher said it was no longer safe to use so we had to use the others which I then moved another one!
On Saturday morning before my departure I weighed myself in at 13st 13lbs meaning a 1lb gain for some reason. But 2 inches off the waist.
On Sunday as soon as I returned home I was unfortunately straight back on it and not filled with the same enthusiasm that I had the week before. I sat and ate dry roast chicken with dry cabbage while Mr M and his 3 kids sat beside me eating, roast chicken, mashed potato, roast potatoes and fighting over yorkshire puddings smothered in gravy!
I weighed myself on Monday morning to see the weekends damage and pleased with a 1lb gain, i was 14st 0lbs. Excited that on Monday night my WW leader would be blown away with my loss I was very dissapointed to only lose 2.5lbs at my official WI, 14st 4lbs. I know that our scales are different, plus I weighed myself first thing on an empty stomach naked, where as at WW im clothed but I would have liked a more dramatic result.
Last night Fatty came over, she sat drinking a bottle of wine to herself, Mr M sat drinking my bottle of vodka to himself, I had my salmon and salad while they had ham, egg & chips, followed by Mars planets, Maltesers & biscuits. It's quite unbelievable that I managed to watch them consume it all while I sat there with a glass of sparkling water moaning that I'm not allowed anything.
This morning I weighed myself and I'm back down to 13st 12lbs, I still feel and look fatter than ever and the hen night photos were really dissapointing, I looked so much fatter and paler than my 2 skinny brown sisters, My arms are massive and I fear there is little I can do about them in 9 days but i will persevere with it and am going to go on some sun beds and get a spray tan for the wedding so I'm not such a pasty faced troll!
Well the rest of yesterday was pretty easy. My chicken and dry toast lunch was very satisfying. The only pain I felt getting my hair done was the £120 bill at the end of it. My poached eggs on toast were probably the best meal I've had all week and my stomach must be the size of a pea now because I'm not getting hungry.
This morning I weighed myself again another 1lb off! On Monday morning I was 14st 5lbs Friday morning i'm 13st 12lbs that;s 7lbs and i've slowed down on the weeing now and noticing that my stomach is looking flatter.
Today I had my slice of dry toast for breakfast and 2 chunks of pineapple until I realised they are out of date. This morning I was running around like a headless chicken so didn't have time to think about lunch until i looked at the clock and saw it was 1.30pm and i'd not even thought about food.
The lunch menu says dry toast, cheese and spinach. I'm not a spinach lover and i'm sure it's only purpose would be to give me some iron, so I just had a lovely slice of dry toast with cheese melted on top!! Absoloutely wonderful and surprisingly full!
Dinner tonight is fish and salad. The only problem I face now is my sisters hen day/night tomorrow. I will be departing at 8.30am for a Spa hotel where 17 of us will be relaxing in the pool and health club, I have an Indian Head massage booked and then we'll all have lunch, which is sandwhiches I believe.
We then have a pole dancing lesson in the afternoon so hopefully I'll burn some calories and then a 3 course sit down meal which i chose from a set menu when we booked it, caesar salad to start and a salmon fillet with new potatoes for main, summer fruits pudding desert and then onto the hotel nightclub for some serious drinking so it's not going to be the best day for dieting but at least there'll be no chocolate cakes for me to demolish.
As fish and salad is on tonights menu and tomorrow i'm supposed to have a fruit lunch and steak dinner, i'm wondering whether to have a steak tonight and eat the fish tomorrow that I already have planned. Rather than eating fish and then fish again, I don't mind, but i was quite looking forward to the steak. It does say I have to eat the meals in order but i always knew I wouldn't be able to stick to it this weekend.
Sunday of course there's the hotel full english already paid for!! I'm not sure i'll be able to eat dry toast and grapefruit while everyone else eats sausages, bacon and eggs. We will see how hungover I feel! but as soon as I return back home on Sunday I will resume afterall on sunday for lunch and dinner i'm allowed roast chicken!!
I just hope the hen weekend doesn't do too much damage to my official WI on Monday. My WW leader is going to wonder what the hell's happened to me!!
Yesterday was an awful day, but I lived to tell the tale.
Mid morning turned out to be a breeze in the end I got stuck into my work and didn't suffer any starvation pangs. It all went wrong with lunch. I had a salad (dry and boring) with a tin of plain dry tuna, the best bit a slice of dry toast. I could barely eat it and ended up giving a quarter of it to the cat!
By 3 o clock I was soooooo tired and feeling run down a call of desperation to Mr M, he told me that I'm hardly being starved, i'm eating 3 meals a day it's what normal people do and my body needs to learn to reduce it's portion sizes because I do put a way more than he does and he's a man 6 inches taller than me with a physical job! He also said I'd be really bad to give up after just 2 days, we decided that I should stick with it, but if i find it too difficult then to amend it slightly, i.e i cannot face anymore grapefruit, so he said to have some other fruit, it may not have the right chemical reaction that the grapefruit does but at least it's still healthy and i'd still lose weight. Also I may add a little balsamic vinegar to my salads just to help them go down. Vinegar and lemon juice is allowed so I may start incorporating those.
I began to feel really shivery and sooo tired and feeling really sick. Not sure if it was the diet or just another illness not related. I went out with my parents to visit an elderly friend of my late nans, I sat there listening to her stories for 2 hours wishing I could eat and go to bed. We got back to my parents at 9.00pm, by this time I wasn't even sure if I could eat dinner I felt so awful. The menu was supposed to be 2 lamb chops and salad. I'd gone to the butcher especially to get 2 lovely lamb chops. I ended up just eating half of one (the cat got the other half) no salad and then home and straight to bed by 10pm.
Felt a lot better this morning although not 100% I think i must be coming down with something. I stepped on the scales and another 2lbs off, that's 6lbs in 3 days! Feeling very good about that but not feeling it in the reflection, i still look as fat as ever!
Today I just had a slice of dry toast for breakfast, no fruit and I actually feel fine, it's lunchtime and I still don't feel hungry, my stomach must have shrunk which is great! Todays lunch will be chicken and 1 slice of dry toast. Am looking forward to the chicken, i just hope it's not too dry. Tonight will be 1 slice of toast and 2 poached eggs, so i'm very pleased about the carbs 3 times a day, i actually think it'll help keep me going.
I'm getting my highlights done tonight after work which I am really looking forward to, my roots are very dull, just hope I don't feel as rough as I did last night while i'm sitting there dreaming of my poached eggs and toast!
I have successfully completed day 2 and oh my goodness it was hard!
I have thought of nothing else but when I can eat my next meal. Yesterdays breakfast consisted of again 1 slice of dry toast and half a grapefruit, sprinkled with candarel again it wasn't too bad and I took some slimming pills with a glass of grapefruit juice.
At work by 10am I was starving, (slimming pills were obviously a waste of £30) with a tonne of paperwork to get through I began to get quite ratty and clock watching for lunchtime. I waited as long as I could knowing the later I leave it the less time there is until I can have dinner.
Lunch was fruit, fruit and some more fruit. Fortunately I can say the only good thing is there is no portion control. The diet doesn't work on quantities but a chemical reaction by burning off the meal eaten previously.
I got through the rest of the day and was delighted to go home and eat a big fat rib eye steak with green salad including celery which I hate. I've never eaten a steak so slowly or cut it up into such small pieces to make it last so long. By 10pm i was starving so the only place for it was the land of nod.
Feeling super skinny and constantly weeing, must be all that fruit and salad, I weighed myself this morning, obviously it's an unnoficial weigh in but -4lbs on the scales and - 3/4 inch on the waist is very encouraging.
I struggled to eat my breakfast this morning, totally empty and starving hungry the toast tasted like cardboard and the grapefruit just going round and round in my mouth unable to swallow in fear of being sick. I had hoped that today would be easier than yesterday but it's 10am and i'm thinking of lunch and dinner already. I'm going to drink a lot more today to keep myself going, so there'll be even more weeing!
How I am going to be able to keep this up for another 15 days is quite daunting but I keep imagining how happy I will be if i'm a little slimmer for the big day. Half of Hollywood eat this way 365 days a year. At least I am getting to eat decent meat and eating just 3 times a day is the norm, just not for a greedy pig like myself. No wonder Mrs Beckham never smiles if this is the extent of her diet, she's probably always thinking about her next meal!
As it's bank holiday today I had a much needed lie in after a very hungover weekend, too much alcohol and even more hangover cures in the form of a pizza, mc donalds, crisps and a BBQ. My last binge before the big crash.
I started the day by weighing and measuring myself. Then off to Tescos to stock up on everything I'm going to need to succeed. I returned home and had a late breakfast, 1 slice of dry toast and half a grapefruit. Sprinkled with candarel it was quite edible.
Off to the shops for new make up for the wedding and then home for a late lunch. Cold meats (ham, chicken and salami) and tomatoes.
A quick visit to my mums to try on my bridesmaid dress which she has taken in by 4 inches and then home for dinner, 2 salmon fillets oven baked with no added fat and a big salad dressed with lemon juice.
That's it until tomorrow, Mr M is currently eating a lovely looking lasagne and wedges but I will be strong and not let it bother me. I just hope it's not too difficult sitting at work the rest of the week, we will see...
My weight has always been an issue for me, I was one of the biggest girls in my junior school class. To be 27 and still remember at our weekly swimming lessons the boys saying, "Nicole jumps in and the water jumps out" 20 years ago must have had a lasting effect. Looking back I wasn't that overweight by todays standards but compared to my friends who were all rakes I felt self concious.
I was always "the fat" one out of my friends through out the teenage years, all my friends are super skinny with great figures, I dreamed of wearing their crop tops and mini skirts from Morgan. (thank god I didn't lol) Or wearing great bikinis on our girly holidays. But instead I was secretly bingeing on tuck shop sweets, crisps, biscuits, pizza and chips.
My mum didn't buy junk food, we were the only house without a "junk cupboard" so it was down to me to source my poison. I used to walk from one end of my high street to the other going in Woolworths, Martins the newsagents and In and Out stocking up on crisps, chocolate and sweets so I wouldn't look like a fat pig buying it all from one shop. This would all be demolished in one sitting hidden away from my mum (size 10-12 who's never had a weight/eating problem) who would tell me off if I was caught.
After college, univeristy was pretty much the same, living away from home I didn't have to hide the food and of course alcohol now played a major part in my calorie intake.
It wasn't until the return of one holiday with one of my uni housemates Miss Pants, when I saw the size of my big rounded shoulders, I looked like a rugby player and my head in comparison although round looked so small on my large frame. (photo in gallery)
So my journey began in 2002 I joined Weight Watchers at 14st 9lbs. At only 5ft 5in my clothes size was 18-22 and I shopped regularly in Dorothy Perkins (in my opinion the only high street shop that makes fashionable items for plus sizes).
I lost a stone and a half quite easily and quickly, then at 13st it slowed down but I battled through and got down to 12st 2lbs, I remained there for an age. (photos in gallery)
I was in a volatile relationship with Mr M, when I was happy I'd eat, when we rowed and broke up I'd be strict on the diet and go to the gym. I did hit 11st 12lbs at one point but soon returned to 12st 2lbs. 12st 2lb soon became 12st 4lbs, not a problem I thought i'll get it off, then i gained another 1lb or 2. Until some how I managed to creep back up to 13st 3lbs.
I remained here for a while and then another break from Mr M saw me heartbroken and booking a flight to Bali to join my super skinny best mate (who I ironically call Fatty) who was out there backpacking. Knowing I didn't want to go on the holiday of a lifetime and sit on a beach next to Fatty I embarked on the Core plan and started exercising 4-5 times a week and soon lost the stone I had gained, back down to 12st 1lb. (photo in Gallery)
On that holiday I gained 10lbs, 2 weeks after my return I went to Dubai and then Italy for work and gained a further 3lbs. I was bridesmaid for my friend Little Larry and after that I had nothing to lose for. I reunited with Mr M and slowly but surely gained and gained and gained. Rising to the 14stone mark I told myself I wouldn't ever go back into the 14s, but I did. I just didn't have the power to stop myself.
A holiday with Mr M last summer saw me in tears when all the size 14 clothes I'd worn in Bali the previous year no longer fitting me, a whole wardrobe of clothes just wasted and more importantly they were clothes from "normal" shops, I had fitted into size 14s from Oasis and River Island opening up so many more clothing options.
Of course throughout this time I've been paying my gym membership every month and not going, and attending my weekly weight watchers meeting only not actually losing anything!
I was diagnosed with PCOS a common hormone related problem in obese women. Sometimes I wonder if my struggle is due to this or whether it's just another excuse people use to stay fat. I take medication for it which is supposed to help with weight loss but I'm not convinced it works.
5 Months ago Mr M and I moved in together our relationship is a lot less volatile now, there's more stable happy days which just means eating and drinking together. We sometimes joke that we should split up for a couple of months so I can blitz the body and lose a couple of stone again. My problem is, just like Mr Darcy he loves me just the way I am!
I think that more or less brings us up to the present day. (photo in gallery) I've been trying to track points and have yoyoed from 14st 10lbs to 14st 4lbs over recent weeks and now at 14st 6lbs I face a major dilema. Sister Ds wedding 3 weeks today for which I am bridesmaid.
Back in March I had promised her I'd lose 2 stone for the event returning to the weight I was in Bali, or even just the way I was at Little Larrys wedding. Sister D has lost over a stone, sister T also a bridesmaid is now pre-baby weight and receiving lots of positive comments on her recent weight loss. The only comments I receive are "are you actually trying to lose weight?" So I am now filled with fear that the one event of this year worth losing weight for and I have failed, I've let my family down and myself down. I know that i'll look at the wedding photos and regret the way I look, an album of everlasting memories that can never be changed. And there I'll be with fat calves, fat rounded shoulders and big round cheeks. I will post the evidence when the photos are developed!
So now desperate times calls for desperate measures. I am fully aware that crash diets don't work in the long term and am a WW preacher but for the next 3 weeks I am going to attempt the "chemical diet" combined with some of the various slimming pills I've collected over the years, so we shall see if I can make a difference...
