It's so fun to see all of the new people posting and excited about embarking upon this weight loss journey. Some people are back with new resolve. It's good to see that we all want to take better care of ourselves in the new year. i guess we all get to that point of saying, NO MORE!"
Tonight I'll be bringing in the new year with J and his family. I'm happy that I'll be around some good people. Most years I've spent New Year's Eve alone. I'm thankful for J. For Christmas he gave me this beautiful ring engraved with "Always & Forever" and a little heart. Now, if that doesn't say it all, I don't know what does. I never hinted, I never expected anything. He did it all on his own and that means a whole lot. I'm a blessed girl.
So, I'm still thinking on those resolutions. I faced a 4 pound gain on the scale today. Not as bad as the 7 I had anticipated, so that was a little encouraging. I worked out with Cathe again. Today I did a circuit workout and didn't feel as strong while lifting weights. I'll need to work on building up strength again.
So, this is it...the last few hours of 2007. It's been a year of a lot of changes and learning. I wish nothing but wonderful things for all of us in the new year. Let's make it a great one!
That's what Cathe said as I worked out "with' her today. She has these little quips that she inserts here and there for motivation and they always stick with me. One of her oldie but goodies is "You get out of it what you put into it!" So true.
So yeah, I worked out today. Finally! And it felt gooooood! Thankfully, I haven't lost all endurance. I think I'll be able to ease back into it all fairly well.
I got home Friday night and quickly ran to the store to get some fruit and veggies. I soooo wanted to get back on track. Unfortunately, I had brought back some tamales and other goodies that Mom and Dad packed for me. Then I had this ridiculus craving for hot dogs. Hot dogs??!!! And the low fat fake version just wasn't going to do so I went and bought the Nathan's. And of course had to have the chips to go with it, you know!
But I think it's all out of my system now. J and I were sitting watching a movie last night and all I could think about was how badly i wanted chocolate! brownies, fudge, cookies...anything!!!! Luckily, I had nothing of the sort in the house.
A peek at the scale says I'm right on the brink of the 200 mark again. I don't want to be here. But I can't expect to behave the way I have and still be losing or even maintaining! It just goes to show that I'm never going to be cured of this food addiction. As much knowledge as I have in my head about eating right and what's good for my body, it's not enough when I allow myself to overindulge in all the things that aren't good for me. I lose track of what i really want. The whole time I was back in Arizona and eating peanut butter cookies for breakfast and not doing a lick of exercise, I felt sluggish, lazy, bloated, etc. But I couldn't seem to stop myself. I'd fill my jug full of water and it would just sit there as I reached for another Diet Pepsi. I kept telling myself, "It's only for a few days...I'll get back on track when I get back home." Seven pounds later, here I am. Was it worth it? NO.
Anyway, I decided not to put it off any longer. My Weight Watchers tracker resets itself on Sundays so I figured there was no better day than today to get back on the wagon. Tomorrow I will post my official weight gain, as painful as it may be. Time to get back to reality, no?!
I'm thinking about what my resolutions will be for this new year. There is so much I need to work on!
This is such a wonderful time of year and I've been so fortunate to be able to spend time here in Arizona with my family. I love being here, surrounded by all of the people I love and who love me - unconditionally. We had a beautiful blessed Christmas, everyone is well, and all of that makes me happy.
Being surrounded by "naughty" foods has been very detrimental to my "wellness plan." The day I got here I went shopping for foods that I could keep here that would help keep me on track. Mom doesn't cook much anymore so convenience foods abound and those just aren't the greatest for the ol' diet. Dad made dozens upon dozens of tamales and I could easily gulp down four of those suckers at each sitting, but remembering how much LARD goes into making those keeps me a bit in check. Still, they are delicious! Needless to say, all of the good food I bought I has been sitting patiently in the fridge and cupboard waiting to be devoured. It's gone virtually untouched. Exercise? Ain't been none of that either. Thus, making me very unhappy.
During the last three weeks I've exercised maybe three times. I feel like such a sloth. I feel so fat and bloated and disgusting. I don't like this at all. I feel like the old me again - the one who fed her fat face with all sorts of bad crap and couldn't seem to find the stopping point. I've let these holidays drag on for way too long. It's time to get back in the game! I'm soooo ready.
I'll be heading back home tomorrow and while it's always hard to say goodbye to all of these people whom I just love so dearly, it will be nice to get back into my routine. I'm ready to get back to my workouts, journaling my food, all of those things that feel like such a chore after you've been doing them for what seems like forever. I CRAVE it now. Three bad weeks aren't going to undo all that I've been working towards for months now. Yeah, I've probably set myself back a few pounds but I'm willing to face it all and get moving in the right direction again!
And boy, do I miss J! When we talked on the phone Christmas day he was with all of his family, I was with mine, and I didn't really want to be anywhere else and I'm sure he didn't either, yet I wanted to be near him so badly. Hopefully we can bring in the new year together. That'll be nice.
Hope you all are doing wonderfully well. I will have more time to catch up with everyone when I get home. Love to you all!
I hopped on the scale this morning and it said 192.5. Huh?
I got off and tried again. Same number. Seriously. Huh?!
That's a 3 pound loss from last week. 3 pounds!!! How?!
I ate crappily, I didn't work out, yet the scale was super kind.
I just don't get it. But I logged it and it sure has helped to keep me on track today! I've eaten well but I didn't work out. I got home from work and realized...OHMYGOODNESS!!! It's almost Christmas and I have SOOOOOO much to do! So, back out I went amongst the mobs to try to get some shopping done. Ugh! I'm usually a lot further ahead in the game than this.
So, now I'm pooped, but I got a lot accomplished. That's what I get for lazing around all weekend! But I wasn't feeling too well this weekend so I think I needed the rest.
I REALLY want to work out tomorrow, but our class Christmas parties are on Wednesday and I usually try to get all the kiddos' and co-workers gifts together for that day, so I think I'll be too busy.
But here's my plan for Wednesday: We're getting pizza for the kids but we won't be having our parties until AFTER lunch. Sooooo....if I take a Lean Cuisine pizza for MY lunch, I'll get the pizza urge out of the way and will be able to refuse the other. How does that sound? I think pretty good!
And for our luncheon on Thursday, they're having brisket. I'm not a fan, so I won't have any trouble being satisfied with just a small amount. I'm sure they'll have desserts though so I'll have to really watch it there. The thing is, so many people have noticed my weight loss now that I kind of feel like they'll be watching what I put on my plate. I'll be feelin' really virtuous if I just take a TINY bit of somethin' sweet. You know?
I mean, they don't have to know that I wolfed down a whole bag of Hershey's Hot Cocoa Kisses last week!! Do they?! I can keep my secret as long as I get my butt back on track.
Still, this pattern of screwing up and then losing still has my mind reeling. It seems to happen every time I have a bad week. Why is that?
I bought J's Christmas gift tonight. I saw sooo many nice things for him. Thing is, J is kind of...ummm.....frugal...and I know he won't spend a lot on me. So, I didn't feel right about spending a whole lot on him. Not because I think our gifts should be "even" but because I don't want him to feel bad. He has 3 daughters he has to buy for, 2 of them teenagers and one in college. That's a pretty tough crowd! And he's a single man living on a single man's income. Needless to say, I'm not expecting a diamond ring !! Though it would be nice!
OK, enough dreaming. I lost 3pounds this week through NO EFFORT of my own! I need to quit pushin' my luck here!
I skipped breakfast because I had a doctor's appointment this morning and she always wants blood work done, so I figured I'd go get that done afterwards. Then I went to Barnes and Noble to check out a book Alicia had mentioned. I then checked out the Health magazine article about Shelley. I thought it was really good and she looked beautiful!
But by the end of all that I realized how HUNGRY I was! So, I went through the McDonlad's drive thru. Ugh! I did stick to the 3 chicken selects and small fries, so it wasn't outrageous, but it was still a bad choice.
I weighed 197 on the doctor's scale and that was with clothes, of course, and my tennis shoes! At home i weighed 193.5 this morning. Stupid scale just toys with my head, I tell you. Anyway, my doctor said last December I weighed in at 217. So, she was proud of me! (Yay!) We all know I got up way higher than 217 but I didn't mention that!
I have an eye appointment in a little bit then I will meet my friends for our ladies' night dinner! So, again, no workout. That means I haven't worked out since Monday.
Next week will be another tough week. We have our class Christmas party - we'll be having pizza! And then our staff luncheon - MORE FOOD! But I need to tell myself, hey, those are just TWO events. TWO meals out of 21. I don't need to blow all 21!!! And I certainly won't have any reason not to work out. The rest has been good for my leg anyway, I'm sure. It's feeling much better.
So that's where I'm at - still not where i wanna be!
I don't remember where I picked up that word but it seemed especially fitiing to my situation this week. I've started off poorly and can't seem to get it together.
I did my workout on Monday night and my leg started aching right away. I KNOW it's the moves on the step because I don't really feel any pain in the leg during my normal daily activity. That just frustrated me more. You all know how much I LOVE my step and my Cathe workouts and I've got the attitude now that if I can't do Cathe's workouts then I don't want to do anything!
Which is pretty dumb because I've gone through phases during which I never thought I'd stray from The FIRM...then there was my supreme loyalty to Turbo Jam. I KNOW I can enjoy other workouts but my mind puts up these ridiculous blocks that just blast everything out of proportion.
It's so stupid. I can recognize this. But it doesn't change my thinking. I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself.
But get this: I spent the day pulling up my size 14 jeans and every time I go to button them, there is this ridiculously huge gap in the tummy area. They're too BIG!! Could I be ready to downsize into 12s?!!!! How exciting! So why am I not doing everything possible to keep things going in the right direction?!
Just a sigh. Like, "Here I am....still...with the same ol' story."
I was rockin' last week. I mean, seriously, I couldn't have DREAMED a better diet week if I had tried. Everything was in check! Saturday morning I took a peek at the scale and it said 192.5!!!!!! Whoa!!! Niiiiiiice!
Then I get into my workout - the 97 minute Cathe one. And then it hits. The pain in my leg. It's not so terrible that I have to stop but it was really aching. I kept going til the end. The last half hour is upper body work so I knew I could keep going. Still, I was frustrated. Nevertheless, I pressed on! It was a good day and I ended my diet week beautifully.
I took another peek at the scale on Sunday morning and it was back up to 195. W_H_A_T???!!!! Oh, I know that SENSIBLY I could have figured out that it was water, muscles repairing, blah, blah, blah...but I wasn't being sensible. I was ticked off!! And the rest gets ugly.
I ate.
A lot.
Can we say S-T-U-P-I-D??!!
This morning the scale said 195.5.
I'm not one to curse, but DAMN!!!!!!!!
Why did I do that to myself?
I've been a diet angel again today. I'm about to work out. I wanted to work out yesterday but I thought I should rest the leg. I'm flippin' frustrated. I could've seen some real results this week if I would have just been patient and not worried about the scale til my "official" weigh-in.
I'm not posting the weight. I'm being rebelious. I don't want to accept it. I'm grumpy and cranky and mad but I will do what I need to do to get back on track here.
We're celebrating my good friend's/co-worker's birthday tomorrow and I picked up a red velvet cake. I'm not having any. I'm NOT, I say!
your all's hearts must be sooooo fond of me right about now!
I've been trying to come by and at least keep up with everyone's posts, I just haven't had time to sit and post anything!
But before you think my absence means that I've been slackin' off, let me just set you all straight on that one. I have been like Model Ms. Weight Watcher this week! Seriously. I have stuck to my POINTS EVERY day. Haven't even dipped into my Flex POINTS! And I'm always into my Flex POINTS like a kid in a candy jar! I just HAVE to have 'em 'cause they're there! Nope, not this week!
And I've been Cathe-ing every day straight since Saturday. Except for today because the kiddos had a Christmas program at school and I had to be there.
A friend and I went to dinner before we had to go back to work. We chose Applebee's and I had the steak and portabellos for 7 POINTS. I even had the chocolate cake for dessert for 4 POINTS! (The cake tasted a bit stale...probably nobody ever orders it and it had been sitting in the fridge like, forever! But by the time I noticed it, it was almost gone! ha!) I had exactly 11 POINTS to "spend" and I did just that! How good am I?! Yipee!
So, I'm hoping for a nice weight loss this week. I need the boost, even though I DID manage to be down a pound this Monday at weigh-in. So, that's my update. I'm gonna try to catch up with you all quickly before Grey's!
Well, first some good news. I had an awesome workout today. I did Cathe's Low Impact Circuit. Loved it! Super fun! GCQMom made a comment about me being addicted to exercise. This is how ridiculous I am: When I'm at work, I get excited thinking about which workout I can do when I get home! Is that just crazy?! I was watching Oprah the other day when she had Bob Greene on and all those weight loss success stories (did you guys see the woman who lost 500 pounds?! No surgery, either! Amazing!) and she always says how she just HATES exercise. She does it because she has to, but she hates it. Well, I don't hate it. I enjoy it. Sometimes I get lazy about it, but when I get going on a workout, I love it! Weird.
More good news: my leg is feeling much better. Still not 100% and I am being careful with it, but it's a whole lot better!
Still more good news: J touched the back of my arm tonight and then said, "Whoa, you have muscle there! I don't even have muscle there!" I said, "Really?" And he said, "Yeah!" And I said, "Cool!" Meanwhile, I was just beaming!!! Is it possible that I've strengthened those triceps muscles?! AWE-SOME!
Now the bad news: My eating has been horrible since last night. Something happened to me yesterday that I didn't quite know how to react to and I know I was eating for comfort. Stupid and senseless, I know, but I still haven't figured out how to completely rid myself of emotional eating. Then today it just kind of carried over. My tummy isn't happy tonight and my mind isn't very happy about it either, but I'll get it together. I still have my goal in sight and I won't give up on it!
I tried to lay off the Cathes. Really I did. But I just couldn't stay away!
Yesterday I did Muscle Max again. That's the full-body strength training routine that left me sore for days the last time I did it. No hopping or jumplng but my muscles sure feel it today! Yay! I especially feel it in my booty and thighs. Double Yay!
Today I did Step Blast. I kept it easy though and didn't do the super-tough jumps. I was soooo glad to be able to get through it without any pain.
My eating's been pretty good. One of the teachers at school had a little jewelry party thingie in her classroom and invited us to come see. She lured us in there with brownies! I ate a little tiny square and counted it as 4 points. My whole 54 minute Cathe workout earned me 4 activity points. Ha! I just thought of that. I worked out for 54 minutes to burn off a little brownie square! But it was worth it!
Oh! Tomorrow's Friday!!! Can I get a woot woot?!! ha ha
Exercise? Ain't been none of that either. Thus, making me very unhappy.
Love to you all! 
But I logged it and it sure has helped to keep me on track today! I've eaten well but I didn't work out. I got home from work and realized...OHMYGOODNESS!!! It's almost Christmas and I have SOOOOOO much to do! So, back out I went amongst the mobs to try to get some shopping done. Ugh! I'm usually a lot further ahead in the game than this.
!! Though it would be nice! 
