Horoscope

I think my horoscope for today is quite fitting.  And I need to print it out and keep it where I can see it.

 Deep, slow satisfaction is so much more real than fleeting pleasure -- or at least that's what you tell yourself while you're waiting for your rewards to manifest. You know, you have a point. Keep on keepin' on.

A good quote that is along the same lines:

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. -- Robert Brault

It's the little things that are going to get me to my big goal.  I have to remember that and keep on keepin' on.

I am going to take a moment to gloat - I see that I made the "Most Active Blogs" list.  I don't know why that pleases me - but it does!

Reason #3 - I want to wear a swimsuit that doesn't have a skirt attached.

Sharing?

Are you sharing your blog link with people you know IRL?  I've told my dh, my bf and my sister that I'm blogging - but I haven't given them the website.  I think of this as my safe haven.  I can write about anything and if anyone is judging me - who cares?  I don't know them anyway.  But the amount of support I'm getting is tremendous and I find I'm becoming addicted. 

I told my sister about it thinking she would love this forum also.  She's a writer - not by trade but she's talented nonetheless.  And she has almost as much weight to lose as I do.  Both of my brothers are thin.  They can put on weight but they don't.  As soon as they start to they get it under control.  I'm not sure where their self-control came from vs my sister and I.  Luckily for them, they have great personalities so I love them anyway LOL. 

My dh is kind of doing WW with me.  He's not journaling or keeping track of anything - he just eats better.  And the first week he dropped 5 pounds vs my 2.   I know men lose easier, faster - but it didn't stop me from being angry that I had to work so hard for my measly 2!  Yes, yes, I know it's not really measly - just in comparison.

Don't get me wrong - I'm actually in a great mood today!  First time in awhile.  I'm doing great on my plan and it feels good to be in control of what I'm eating.  I'm praying for that feeling to hang around. 

Reason #2 - I don't want to be winded walking up the stairs at work with my co-workers.  I can't talk to them when we're at the top of the stairs and it's embarrassing.

If I could reach it I'd pat myself on the back

I guess that can be reason #1 of my 100 reasons to lose 100 pounds. 

Reason #1 - I can't reach all of my body parts - my OWN body parts!  How disturbing is that?

Anyway - as I stated - if I could reach it, I'd pat myself on the back.  We just had a meeting - and celebrated a co-workers birthday with ice cream cake from Dairy Queen and I didn't have any!  Thank you, thank you very much

Good or bad?

I'm trying to decide if I was good or bad yesterday when it comes to my all day grazing. 

On the one hand - I ate nothing that I wouldn't have eaten if I was actually keeping track of my points.  I managed to talk myself out of going to the grocery store for the giganto bag of Cheetos that I wanted.  I managed to talk myself out of going to BK for the chicken sandwich with cheese and bacon that I wanted.  And I satisfied myself with Lean Pockets, 100 calorie chips, leftover turkey & turkey sausage jambalaya - all choices that I am happy with. 

On the other hand - I didn't journal all day and with the # of trips I made to the kitchen - I more than likely exceeded my points for the day.

All in all - I'm deeming it a success because one short week ago, I would have gone to the grocery store AND to BK.

Thank you so much to everyone that gave me encouragement over my 2 pounds loss for the week.  I should be proud of it so I'm talking myself into it ;)

First weigh in

I had my first weigh in this morning.  I went to the 7:30 class - it wasn't quite as packed as the 9:30 from last week - but it was still a lot more full than I expected.  Anyway - I know I should be happy with my results - but I'm a little disappointed.  I lost 2 pounds.  As hungry as I've been all week and the fact that I've not gone over my points allotment ONCE - and I'm drinking boat loads of water....I expected it to be better.  TOM is leaving - so maybe residuals of his visit are affecting my weight.  Yes, yes, I know - 2 pounds a week is a healthy amount.  I just thought my first couple of weeks would be a lot better and would get my motivation in high gear.  Not that I'm going to slip.  I will admit that my first instinct was to hit Micki D's for breakfast since I have a whole week to work it off.  BUT I didn't do it.  I decided to come home and eat on program.  I'm not going to let my disappointment throw me off track.  I keep telling myself I SHOULD be happy with my results today - so I'm trying to talk myself into it.

I'm going to spend the morning reading your blogs, which help keep me in the "zone".  Thanks for the inspiration!

Success!

I went grocery shopping - while I was hungry!  Usually that would end in a nightmare.  But I'm still in "the zone" so I was able to look over the mac & cheese (my danger food!), the cheetos, the oreos,etc.  I'm quite proud of myself

Sick day

I'm taking a mental health day today.  I just needed a break from work.  There's nothing major going on anyway - it's the perfect time.  I am worried about sticking to plan though.  It's easy when I'm working.  I only eat what I pack.  With the cabinets and fridge at my disposal - will I have the power to stick to program?? 

I think I'll do fine.  I'm going to go grocery shopping today and get stocked up on good stuff.  That certainly makes things easier.  My dh is kind of following WW with me - so I don't have to worry about stocking stuff for him that I shouldn't have. 

I was inspired to write my story after reading Gwynn's post yesterday.  So here it is:

I was not an overweight kid or teenager.  I gained about 15 or 20 pounds in college - then lost it after I graduated.  I got married for the first time in 1991.  I gained 75 pounds in one year!  Who does that?  I guess I do.  My ex never made me feel that it was a problem for him.  But I felt unattractive and crawled up in a hole which just made things worse.  I struggled with that 75 pounds our whole marriage.  I had lost about 30 of it when we decided to finally start trying for a baby.  I got pg on our very first try.  Unfortunately, that ended up being an ectopic pregnancy which required emergency surgery as it was about to rupture. Less than a year after the ectopic, my marriage fell apart and we got divorced.  I lost 45 pounds just because I didn't want to eat anything!  Eventually I met someone new.  I gained weight back.  That relationship didn't work out.  Then I was alone for several years.  I finally met my current dh and have never been happier :)  I've put 50 pounds on since I met him though.  It doesn't bother him, thankfully.  And I'm doing my best not to let it interfere with our relationship like I did the last time.  I'm just ready to do something about it.  But I've tried several new diets/programs every year since 1992 and haven't stuck with any of them. WW was always tried at least once a year.  My mind set is different this time. 

I'm so thankful that I found this website - all the support I've received so far has been fabulous.  I love everyone on here!

TOM - Aunt Flo - A rose by any other name.....

On my TTC (trying to conceive) message board - we refer to it as AF (Aunt Flo).  I've noticed on some of your blogs that in this domain, the witch is referred to as TOM.  Regardless of what you call it - it's here in full force.  It's a double whammy for me.  Whammy #1 - it means, obviously, we did not succeed, yet again, in our attempt to get pregnant.  This day, every month, takes me WAY down.  But since this is not a TTC blog - I won't get into the myriad of emotions that comes with AF/TOM every month.   Whammy #2 - same as for the rest of you, probably - bloated, weight gain!  Which is especially annoying as this is my first week on my new program.  I've been sticking to my points religiously - so I know it'll all even out once TOM is gone.  But I'm CRAMPY and want to console myself.  I'm resisting though.  Luckily for me - TOM only visits for 2 days every month.  I say luckily - but the truth is, I'm afraid that might be part of my TTC problem.  My dr. says no - so I guess I have to trust that she knows what she's talking about.  I mean, she did go to school for this.  I don't think my class in historical costume qualifies me to make the call....does it?

So, to sum it all up, I'm a super crabby ass today.  Be grateful you won't run into me IRL.

Hungry, hungry hippo

I am so hungry all day.  I'm definitely not doing a very good job of pre-planning my day.  I pack my breakfast and my lunch - but not so good with the snacks.  And there's no way I'm even venturing near the vending machine and ruining my self control on Day 3!

I will say that the Vitamuffin brand of muffins and muffin tops is A#1!  I'm loving this stuff.  It's a bit pricey - but I'm worth it.  The flavors that I have bought are all only 1 point each - about 100 calories but enough fiber to cut the points back to 1. 

I forgot to weigh myself on my scale at home the morning I went to WW - so I have no idea what the variance is from scale to scale.  Normally I would be weighing myself everyday and figuring out what I've lost.  Especially since I've been doing so well - not ONE cheat.  I know that's not so impressive for it being only Day 3 - but compare it to an alcoholic not having a drink for 3 days.  Much more impressive, no?

I am definitely getting all my water, and then some, in.  I am wearing a trail in the carpet from my cubicle to the bathroom - it doesn't take people long to find me.  I'm either at my desk or at the other end of the trail.

Does that ever get better???

Green - eyed monster strikes

Am I allowed to hate my cute, sweet, bubbly co-worker?  It's not her fault I'm a fat slob.  She just got a new swimsuit that she ordered and before she pulled it out of the plastic wrap - it LITERALLY fit in the palm of her hand!

I posted a pic on my monitor of a cute strappy crocheted top on a thin model - I'd like to wear this top one day....motivation?  I'm at a loss as to what will work to keep me on track anymore.  After 15 years of this struggle - and being 40 - I think I'm set in my ways.  Oh well, I'll give it another shot.

BTW - sugar-free fruit punch is awesome!