08/09/2010 22:55
Brain Race
Recognizing the problem is half the battle, right?
I had a frenetic workout because I had a horrible night of sleep. I got in bed on time, but could not turn off my brain at all! I am contemplating a HUGE move (halfway across the country) and was up thinking about it. After 2 hours of laying in bed, I got up at midnight, turned the lights back on, and did an art project for an hour, then updated my resume and wrote a cover letter (that took another hour). When I finally got back to being ready for sleep, it was 3 am and I was going to have only 2 hours before the alarm. Ick. I stayed in bed a little later (thank God I have extra time on Monday mornings!) and did head to the gym. But... I didn't focus on my workout very well because I was tired and also, my brain was racing about other things, so I couldn't just jog in one place and run for 40 minutes while staring at the backside of the person on the machine in front of me. So...I left early. At least I put the nervous energy to good use-my kitchen sink is all sparkly now. :)
I am working on letting go of the notion that I must be in control of everything and am waiting on God to let me know if I'm supposed to stay in Texas or make the big move. It's scary for me when I don't know what the future holds. I'm working on being patient while I wait for God to show me. I AM excited because I know that whatever lies ahead is going to be awesome! And no guilt trips over the half a workout I skipped out on today. I will get up tomorrow and go to the gym again. It's life.