06/24/2006 08:26
Brand new day
I'm well and up today, yay =] Thanks for all the best wishes. It feels so good to get them when u r ill. And i didn't totally messed up with sleeping as well. Although i couldn't get up early, it is only noon. So i won't spend all day with sleeping, yay =]
And now for the diet, i was thinking that i probably gained weight cause all i did was eating and sleeping. So i was very afraid to weigh myself in. But since today i feel well, i did it. The result is, unbelieveable but 59.1 kg (130.3lb). Ok maybe i didn't loose any weight at all, but still, i was ill and i didn't gain as well. Yay for that as well =]
So i am up for a small walk and will check u guys when i return. Hopefully u r all doing fine. { Blow kisses around } x
06/23/2006 10:42
still ill
I still feel ill. My time is in between my bed and the bathroom. Sweating a lot, and sick all the time. I guess this is some kind of cold, since my body was already weak because of all the medicines. I had to go out to buy something to eat though and i came across to my landlady. Oh u can't believe how nice she was. She told me not to worry about packing my stuff to move or cleaning that i can do all of them when i return to UK. Oh that was very very nice, i felt very relieved. I'll do packing and cleaning still but i won't have to do it all now which is very good. She was very kind and nice, told me not to worry at all, i am already too loaded with the medicines and everything. I am vert grateful to be honest.
So i didn't do anything about the diet. I probably must have gained weight as well. But i might be better tomorrow and i am not worried a lot cause this is life isn't it, these things happen. Anyway, i hope u guys r doing fine. Hugs to u all x
-- edit --
I am not sure yet, but i got very exicited so i just wanted to write here. Although i said i was thinking of quiting the antibiotics for sometime i didn't have any courage to do that. But because i was sleeping all day yesterday i only had a chance to get 2 of them instead of 3. So the good news is it seems as if my abscess is getting smaller. Not sure yet, but still i feel very exicited about it. x
06/22/2006 17:34
Terrible day
I had a terrible day. I think i was kinda ill, don't know. First of all i couldn't get up in the morning. When i manage to get up it was already noon. And i was very very tired and hungry. So u know, i have to eat to take my medicines so i ate a little bit. The usual morning sandwich and digestive biscuvits. But i was still hungry, as if my stomach was crying or something, and i didn't have any power to go out for my first walk of the day. So i decided to eat another half sandwich, but i couldnt stop, i ate cereal and then, for god's sake, i cooked pasta with cheese and ate all of it. By then i was already feeling sick, i am not used to eating that much at once in these days. So i went out for a small walk. Oh it was terrible, it was very difficult. I couldn't walk at all. Just 15 min. or something. So i returned back home feeling very ill. I put my head to my pillow and, there u go. I slept all day, all day. When i woke up it was already 10pm. And i was hungry again. Not the type that u wanna eat a lot, but the type i want home made soup when my mom was always making whenver i was ill. Since i came to UK i haven't been eating any soup, cause i couldn't find any ready made ones for my taste. Anyway, i remembered i learned this new soup the other day, at my friends house. So i got up and cooked soup for myself. Not as delicious as the one i ate in their house, but still, i felt good. So i went outside walked 10 min and return home to write this. I'll probably will go out again for another small walk. The thing is all these medicine i have to get, the depression and antibiotics, not to mention vitamin and contraceptives, started to become too heavy i guess, if u know what i mean. I have to get the depression medicine, the doctor told me not to stop it. But antibiotics. Oh my good, and i have to take 3 of them in a day and they are the most powerful ones u can find around. Too much. And my abscess is still there. Didn't grow up as much as the previous one but still there. I don't know. I decided to stop contraceptives for a while but maybe i should stop antibiotics too, for a day or two. All of them are very heavy for me. I don't know.
Anyway, not a good day at all. But the soup was good =]. And i couldn't even run my 2minutes =p. And i feel terrible. And how will i sleep tonight. I probably made everything upside down again. After all the hard work of doing things right.
And another thing is i have to start packing. Not only for going to holiday, but everything. Cause when i return to UK i'll start living in a new house with my friends. But of course i didn't have any power to start packing as well.
Well, tomorrow is a new day =] isn't it? Hope u guys r doing fine. x
06/21/2006 14:06
back from walking
I thought i was doing some exercise. Today i decided to run a little bit while i am walking. And it's emberassing but i only lasted for 2 min. Can u believe it, just 2 min, LOL. And after that 2 min i started to walk again, breathless, as if i ran i mile or something. So i walked more and decided to try it again. OMG, another 2 min. How emberassing is that? So all the runners, i salute u with great respect =]. I simply can't do it. And, can u believe it, i am actually talking about buying a bike when i return to UK in the middle of August. Well, i am not giving up yet. Tomorrow i will run for 4 min instead of 2 =p. And maybe at the end of the month i can manage to run 10 min, wow =] Anyways, i love walking, it is a great exercise and i ll stick to it for sometime. It's not boring at all and there is always a good chance to discover new routes etc. Hugs to u all x
06/21/2006 12:19
back on track
So i started to loose motivation on the last days. But today another try started walking again, back from her terrible hay fever. And kung-fu 's comment saying to be 130lb is very nice, i kinda felt proud and my motivation started to come back. I actually know that 130 is not good at all, cause i am short and my bones are thick. Most of my friends, including my sister are around 5ft 7 or 5ft 8 inches and i actually am very aware that when i am 110 lb i look like them being more or less 130 lb. I guess it's just my body. Anyway, i had a very very good day. AnotherTry and i went to luch to a friend's house. And it was awesome. They made this salad and stuff for us and everything was diet stuff. I did afraid before going but seeing how careful they were with our diet thing i was relieved. So it was all talk talk afternoon, u know, girls come together kinda stuff so it is a little bit more serious exercise time now. So i'll go out and start walking now and read your blogs when i return home. Hope u r all doing fine. xx
06/20/2006 17:38
What is going on
It seems as if we are all loosing our motivation somehow. And i am not different, cant help it. Is it full moon or something that affecting us all =p.
Well anyway, tomorrow is a new day and let's all try to get back our motivation. I promise to walk 2 hours tomorrow, 1 in the morning and one in the evening, and i am sure i'll feel better after tonight.
On the bright side i am now 59.2 kg (130.5lb) It seems the scale doesn't move much but i actually know that in every diet there are times that it happens. So i am not too much worried about it. So my second mini goal is being under 58 kg (127.86lb) by the 29 th of June and i still believe that i can make it. I am flying back to my country on that date for 1.5 months. Won't be able to write regularly, but i'll try to come back and write regularly again when i return to UK in the middle of August.
By the way, i got my letter from the doctor and submitted it to uni. So now i'll just wait to see what's going on. Even if they don't except my excuse i really dont have any power to do my dissertation at the moment. I dont know what i was thinking to return to university for a master's degree at this age. I feel very tired.
And a special note to Sydney : Thank u very much for your nice comments. Sorry i couldn't reply earlier but today i visited your blog and there seems to be no posts? And i guess you are right about walking and bike as well. I am already walking but when i go back to my country i'll try my old bike to see if i can actually ride more than a few meters. If i enjoy it i am actually thinking about buying a sec. hand one when i return to UK.
Sigh... Tomorrow is a new day... Hugs to u all....
06/19/2006 05:25
Back in normal
So, i was right, it was probably water weight or something. I am back in the track today. I really am trying hard for my own conditions, walking as much as i can and being very careful with what i eat. I hope i will start to feel comfortable with myself soon. My problem is most of my weight is at my legs. I can't wear any skirts cause my two legs hurt each others skin in between. Any good ideas for that?
06/18/2006 19:06
added a photograph
And a very funny one too. With my hat and sunglasses. I know it is funny, i know... Well i was very jealous with all the photographs u were adding so, there u go...
06/18/2006 08:32
weighed in
So i had enough courage to weigh myself in, and, oh god, oh god, i am 59.9 (132 lb), i cant believe it. But i won't add it to my schedule cause i like the look of my graph and also this might be just because of this period. My body must be in shock to start such heavy antibiotics again. So i'll just wait for 2 days and see the results then. Oh my god =[ i hope this is not real.
Well anyway, happy fathers' day to all our fathers. I hope u r having a nice day and enjoying yourself.
06/18/2006 07:14
internet connection off
So, i haven't been around yesterday, cause the guy upstairs turned the internet off i guess. I am a lodger in this house and i am not paying for the internet which is one of the good things, but sometimes, although they are very nice people, they forget that i am living here too. The previous time the father was upset with his son for some reason and we all ended up having no internet for 3 weeks. I even suggested to get my own internet connection but they didn't allow me. So it's not very fair. Cause as i have already told a very small change in my daily routine effects me a lot in these days.
Well anyway, so here is the confessions part. I woke up yesterday as planned, ate my breakfast, sat in front of my computer to write and read blogs and found out the internet is not working. Suddenly i was upside down, with such a small thing. Well not only this actually, but u know i have an abscess and i am using depression medicines at the moment. I also am using contraseptives. So i went to bathroom and found out that my period started although i am in the middle of the month with contraseptives. Can u believe it? It is very scary and i dont have anyone to ask to until NHS (National Health Service) opens on Monday. And monday is the day that i should take my report from there and be sure it is submitted to uni before their meeting at 2 pm. Which is very unlikely cause the report will be ready at noon. Well anyway, so i was upside down yesterday. I forcesd myself to go out and walk as usual, but i couldnt walk more than a few steps. It was very hot as well. So i returned home thinking that ok, this will be a rest day then, no walking, no diet, just rest. But all day i was checking internet connection which was still down and i dont really know how it happened but i ended up eating loads of stuff. Today i actually am very scared to weigh in myself. I can even calculate the damage but i dont have the courage to do so.
Well anyway, yesterday was something that i very much hope that won't happen again. Now i am gonna read all your blogs to see what i missed from yesterday. Hope u r all doing fine. x
