OK, I Am Back UP

I knew, I knew waking up this morning that my weigh-in was not going to be a positive one.  My weight has been fluctuating the past week, each time I weigh it varies so much that I have decided to not be ruled by the scale.  I sabotaged my weigh-in (knowingly) by wearing jeans.  I explained to my JCC about my difficult week and lack of exercise.  I ate out once but brought half my food home.

So, today is a NEW week.  I LOVE Mondays!  I feel good, I am ready to eat healthy, staying on plan.  I have set exercise goals for the week, and I am NOT going to let the scale have such an impact on me. 

Here's to Mondays!  CHEERS!:)

LEXI

My dog Lexi is much better.  She had an anti inflammatory shot Friday, today she was going to get x-rayed but she was so much better when the vet looked at her that he prescribed a medication but decided not to x-ray at this time.  We still may x-ray late next week.  I am so relieved, and proud of myself for not binging during this emotional week.  I only exercised one day, but I will start fresh Monday and consider this a bump in the road.  I get weighed in Monday at JC, I still may be down a pound or two because my diet was good.  I didn't get all my fruits and veggies in, but I didn't have junk food.

Thanks to everyone who wrote with support, believe me it helped calm my spirit.  THANKS!!  Amy

My Girl

The past couple of days have been emotionally exhausting for me.  My dog Lexi is having physical problems...hips and legs not working.  She is 6 years old but had knee surgery when she was 1, so she has a history.

At this point she is barely walking and I carry her outside and to the car to go to the vet..she is an 80 lb dog!

So this week has not been about me.  I haven't exercised and I am barely eating.  Tomorrow she goes for xrays and I will know more.

Re: Finding Your Passion

I think I am at this step.  I think I do slow down and spend time alone doing what pleases me.  (Gee I used to think that I was being selfish, now I am learning it is healthy!).  I can now say that I AM passionate about my self-care...I am at that place that I am doing what is good for ME.

Finding Your Passion

Passion is a rich, soulful emotion. Whether it makes you feel angry, excited, inspired or tearful, passion is something that moves you in a very powerful way. Passion is an internal experience not an external event. Finding your passion means connecting your head with your heart, engaging that part of yourself that "feels" in a big, bold, spiritual way. For many of us, this is a challenge. Our busy, chaotic lives disconnect us from our feelings. And, when we act from this "numbed out" place, it's impossible to connect with our passions.

Quick Blog

Just blogging quickly to share my weight loss....3lbs!  I know it combines with last week because I maintained because of TOM, but I am ecstatic!

I have been eating out too much, and with the great weather and grilling season starting that is even more of a temptation.  I think I know HOW to eat healthy now, it is just controlling the portions.

I go to Curves today, grocery shop and run errands.  Tomorrow is field trip day with my son.

Have a good day!  It is sunny here (as well as my mood:)

My JC Weigh-in Tomorrow

Last week, I maintained...but I had my TOM and JCC said that was normal, actually good to stay the same and not weigh heavier.  So this week the pressure is on to actual see the scale go down.  I have been weighing at home and have been as low as 4 lbs down.

This week my activity level has been good.  I went to Curves 3x and I walked the dog briskly several times.  What I didn't do was go to the Y.

My husband wanted to take me out to dinner tonight (he woke up thinking that it was Mother's Day).  I counted up how many MOMO (meal on my own) I have had this week..5 dinners!  No wonder my freezer is still stocked with JC!  I have been careful, except birthday night (THURS)..but still.

I am hoping to do housework and yardwork today and then walk the dog.  I will be disappointed if I don't weigh-in less this week.  The scale seems to be stuck for me, or fluctuating slightly up or down.  I never want to see 250 again!  PLEASEEEE.....

How can I stay motivated?  If I had just 20 or 40 lbs to lose this would be easy.  100lbs is forever.  Oh well, I can't let it get me down.  At least I know I am getting healthier, even if the scale doesn't reflect that!

Happy B-day!

So, yesterday was my birthday...# 43.  The number doesn't really scare me because I don't feel that old.  Earlier in the week I told someone I had a 14yr old son..they said I didn't look old enough to have a 14 year old...I then told her my other sons are 19 and 21!  So anyway, I don't feel old and that's what matters right?:)

My husband stayed home from work yesterday (to help me out..?..).  I basically made phone calls and finished laundry and house straightening.  I made sure I ate everything on my JC menu...and I couldn't keep up!  I had coffee, and a JC muffin, a nonfat yogurt and a cup of OJ for breakfast, I was stuffed.  Later I had my JC bar and a bottle of water (with Crystal Light) I was still stuffed.  Later I had my 2nd fruit of the day in the form of a Strawberry Dried Fruit Bar (my JCC approved it as equal to a fruit serving).  Now I knew my hubby was taking my son and I out to dinner (and to a play:)..so there was NO WAY I could fit in my JC lunch (veg soup) .   So I skipped the soup and salad on my menu for lunch.

We had dinner at 6pm at my new fav The Keg and I ordered what I felt like.  Prime Rib and a lobster tail.  The Lobster was fantastic!  I also had mashed potatoes and 1 roll with butter.  And gasp, they brought me a huge slice of mocha ice cream cake with an oreo cookie crust!  I shared the cake with my son, but again I did not feel guilty because it was my birthday.

So, my "freebie" day is over & today is a new day.  I had an early appointment, so I started my day with just coffee and a cup of cranberry juice.  Following my menu, it is now 12:30 and I just had my JC Breakfast Scramble and a bottle of water (with Crystal Light:)...nonfat yogurt next...oh jeez, I am going to miss lunch again!

Binge Monster

Ok, the sun has been out for several days now.  It is chilly, but I CANNOT complain!  Yesterday I had a hair appointment....I am happy with it, although my husband likes it better curly and my hairdresser always straightens it.

Then I ran around doing errands and shopping.  I went to Pier 1 and bought a clearance trunk for my son's game room.  I won't go into details but the sales associate was so rude..it made me want to write a letter, but I probably won't.

Ok, as for the title.  The past few days have been weird for me.  I can no longer buy those 100 cal snack packs.  Why, because I eat 5 or 6 bags at a time!  I don't know what it is about them.  I am fine if I stay on JC food, but if I try to reward myself with even 1 snack, I can't stop!  Then I get guilty and sit and watch tv and I have a bad habit of picking at my nails.  I had acrylic nails up until a few months ago when I took them off.  Today I am getting a manicure to make them look good so I leave them alone.

I woke up today and did feel that it was a new day.  My JCC is trying to get it through my head that when I mess up I have to let it go.  I can't dwell on it because I am an emotional eater and I spiral into a tailspin and I totally get out of control.  I have to take control of the situation and ease myself back into reality.  Am I wacky or what?!

So, today I am back on track food wise.  OJ and yogurt for breakfast so far.  After the manicure and some errands I am going to stop at Curves.  Which is another topic I was going to write about today.  I feel like I am always wearing sweats so I can work out or go walking at a moments notice.  The exercise is good, but I was looking at myself in the mirror at the mall yesterday and I am a slob!  I have to start caring about my appearance again.  Well, the haircut and manicure should help!:)

Sunny Thoughts

Holy Cow!  The sun has been out 2 days in a row!  Yesterday was fantastic.  It was my "day off" for exercise, but I walked the dog and raked the yard.  It was kind of pointless what I did in the yard because the lawn service came today and mowed and cleaned-up..oh well I worked my arm muscles!

I have found my passion, and it is exercise!  I can't believe it!  I have been going to Curves 3x per week, and the Y 3x per week.  I use the treadmill for 3 miles and the bike for 2 miles.  I tried the elliptical, and it is hard!  Anyway, I look forward to doing something everyday.

It is sunny and beautiful today.  I dropped my dog off early to get groomed, came home and had my JC breakfast, went to Curves, then went to JC to get weighed.  I am the same as last week 249, but I have TOM.  Oh well.

Gotta run and pick-up dog, I am hoping they really de-shedded her!