The Journey to Thin

Wow - Everything's different!!

Saturday, December 8, 2007 23:05:21

Oh my goodness. I'm away for a while, and everything has changed! Is everybody still around? Missy? Ducky? Rasberry? Tatums Mom?

I think I fell back into a black hole for a while. My last post, I'd gone back to Jenny Craig. And again, I only ate about a portion of the food, and haven't touched it since. My contract job at the college came to an end, and I've been trying to find a great new job. I'm upbeat about it, and I've applied for something that would be wonderful, I'm just hoping my resume was good enough to get picked from the pile.

So I've crawled out of my hole, am dusting myself off... adjusting my sunglasses, cause boy is it bright here lol.

But I haven't given up by any means. I've pretty much maintained, which is amazing. But I admit, the motivation to even think about it at all has been very low. So we're going to start - again. :) Little goals.

Drink water
Eat breakfast
Walk for 20 minutes twice this week.

Time to once again ax the coffee, and the soda. I also think I need to completely stay away from ice cream or chocolate, because I never want that stuff unless I end up having it. Then I want it ever day for a week, and I think that's what started this little "vacation" in the first place!

I really hope all of you are doing well. I've missed you, and I'll check in this week, it really does help.

Love, Joy, Peace!

Trish

Comments(2)

Yes, I called Jenny! Have YOU called Jenny yet?!

Friday, December 7, 2007 23:01:13

This will be quick - but yes, I did go back to Jenny yesterday. Got all my food, and I'm ready to go this morning. I'm excited again, feel good about it, and got a couple new foods I haven't tried yet!

My weight is up, yes - 5 pounds, and that was my limit. I know that will be gone by the end of the week, and not worried about it. But that's the key - never let yourself go up more than 5 pounds before you "reign it in". So back on program, and I'm ready now. :)

My goal is 2 days of cardio - starting slow, and setting goals I know I can achieve; it will be a busy week, but don't want to over-set goals yet. I'm nervous about my belly button getting caught on something, but they have bandaids for that lol.

I have to get to work - but wanted to report it, and tell everyone to watch out, because Trish's back in town!!!!!

Have a great first day of the week!!!!

xoxo

Trish

Comments(6)

Yes, I'm still alive :)

Saturday, December 8, 2007 00:09:16

Hi gang :)

I know it's been a while. Thank you for all your support, and for writing. MIssy, thanks so much for all your care and support :) You are wonderful - all of you are.

I've pretty much been staying in my "hard protective shell" the past few weeks; I'm truly a very typical "Cancer" that way. I don't run; I pull inward, and stand my ground and wait. Not sure what I've been waiting for - the world to end? For my weight loss to magically continue? But I didn't want my melancholy mood to infect anyone else. I don't even know if you can call it melancholy. Numb is better.

I haven't been excersizing, I've been afraid to anger my new piercing. It's healing well though, and I think I can start again today. More likely tomorrow. I was supposed to go back into Jenny today, but having no sleep all week, I called and said I'd reschedule - which I still have to do before they close. I am trying to steel myself - my will - to get back with it. I've done ok, but I did finally weigh today, and I'm up 5 pounds. That's my limit - time to get crackin. My pretty belly jewel reminds me that I'm never going to let myself get up more than 5 pounds again - so it's actually been worth it; I swear I can see that 5 pounds, and I feel fat and lethargic again. Funny, as I still have a lot to lose that I would feel that way, but the feeling of euphoria as the weight was falling off me has definitely turned to omg - I have to fix this NOW. And so close to the Onderland mark, not sure what spooked me and made me stop.

I think about that....... I've done it before. It's almost like I know I'll love my new body, but I also know it won't magically make anything else change. But it will make ME feel better, and that's what I need to remember. All the other little silly things that happen will work themselves out the way they're supposed to, but no one is going to take care of me. That's up to ME. And I've just sort of gone to this place of numbness. It's not "I don't care", it's hard to describe. I've still been watching the portions, but I'm definitely not eating enough. Not even close. These habits are going to be hard to break, and I have to break them. I guess I'm just feeling tired, a little worn out. But break is over. I know I said that last time - ok, and the time before. I've just let myself be consumed about everything else but me this past month, and it's time to get back to being good to myself again.

I don't want to update my weight, don't want to see that gain on screen, but I need to. So here we go again, and my resolve is still there. It's just been clouded a bit this past month. After all I have a huge concert to get ready for, and I am going to look great in that red dress. More importantly, I'm going to be in great shape to sing up on that stage and dance for 2-3 hours. So time to quit this now, and get back to it.

I think sometimes, we want this weight loss to change our lives so much, that we forget, that really, it's not going to change any of the outside stuff going on. That's why it has to be for ourselves. It can't be for anyone else, not for a concert, not for a husband, not for a wedding - it has to be for US. Otherwise, as we get closer to our goal, we lose steam - but also, we realize that all those things we thought would change in the outside world, didn't - and then we become dissillusioned; making it harder to keep going.

Spend some time really going inward, and finding that reason you want to do this. Find that small spark, and turn it into a flame. I say this to me, as much as I say it to you. :)

I think we all do it. We get to a certain point, where we start to get a bit cocky... a little overconfident. Soon you're telling yourself I deserve a break, I've been soooo good. Look at all this weight I've lost. I can do it on my own. But that's dangerous - because then you can quickly end up becoming complacent about the whole thing. Then you start reasoning, I've come so far - I look good. That's what I wanted, right? No big deal, I can do this - tomorrow.

But my friend - there is no tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes. So. It's time to do it - Today. :)

Love, courage and strength to you!

Trish :)

Comments(4)

I'm Still Here :)

Thursday, December 6, 2007 22:07:14

Boy, when I said I was going to celebrate my birthday for the entire month, I apparently meant it!

But, this is part of the learning process - the learning curve. The adventure, continues, and I've been "living in the real world" of food for the past month. Now I know, that's not really something to celebrate. What is - is that I am still losing inches somehow, and, for the most part, I've maintained. By no real fault - or shall we say motivation - of my own, I am somehow almost back to my lowest weight. To be quite honest, I'm not really sure how.

No, I think I do know how. I still really need to work on the kinks in all of this. But - there is some victory there. I have found that I tend to go back to that skip break (BAD!), skip lunch, maybe eat dinner thing. Drink too many diet pepsi's. I have learned that my danger zone is after 8,.... when I want to stay awake all night, and that's when I want to eat. I've found that I've been reaching for whole wheat instead of white bread. I've found that I'm learning to eat toast without the butter. That I reach for fruit more often. That if we have steak with broccolli, and potatoes, I eat more broccolli than steak, and I skip the potato.

With this said, some healthier habits have stuck it seems. So yes, we do really need to work on the getting food in part, and that's slowly getting better. I don't not eat to lose any weight. It's because nothing sounds good - I literally can't stomach the thought of eating. That's one of the reason's I went on Jenny in the first place, was I was so tired of eating junk when I did eat. I really don't know how to change that - the pizza Fridays'.... the hamburger/hot dog on the grill nights; the hamburger helper nights when honey bunny is trying to help out by cooking. I mean, how do you gently tell them, "it's so great that you're cooking tonight. Oh honey, by the way, could we please not have hamburger helper, and eat something a little healthier?" Steak and chicken breasts are a little expensive as well, have you noticed how much more "healthy" food costs? The veggies - the fruit - good grief, 9.00 for a pound of CHERRIES???? It's so wrong. Yet, the news flaps on about how America is obese, and that we need to get it together, .... the economy is in the toilet, and then you go to the store, and a loaf of whole wheat bread is the same as buying an entire frozen pizza. Hmm. They don't exactly help us out, do they? When fast food is a buck, and a salad is 7.00? And supersize is the way of life. When I see what my two teen boys can consume (and they're thin by the way) - it just blows my mind. How can they eat like that, and stay thin? Thankfully, they have really become more aware of even though they aren't getting overweight eating this stuff - that it's bad for them, and they feel slugish when they eat that way. Eldest son is really getting into eating healthier, and youngest, always has preferred eating the better healthier things. I'm so blessed with him, he'll try anything at least once!

I'm rambling on with this, not saying too much about me I guess. Lots has gone on, and I haven't been dealing with things too well. I've felt guilty about spending the money on JC..... but even DH agrees, that I need to get back with it. When I'm on it though, he's left in control of dinner, and that means some nights it just gets blown off (find whatever you can in the fridge night) - which either ends up in a pizza, or stopping off at fast food, and I hate that. So it requires planning again; making sure the things are here that are healthy. So that's what I've been trying to do - keep lots of chicken breasts in the freezer; lean meat (how bizzare that steak is less than buying hamburger lately?) - but if I plan, it's there, and there's no excuse.

The excersize has been only therapeutic lately. With my back acting up, and my leg, even walking has been difficult. But that's finally on the mend again, and the swelling has gone down; I've stayed off it, and it's almost back to normal. (ankle). I still don't know what that was really about, but I think I twisted it or hurt it when I fell, and because I can't really feel it, and there was really no bruising, I didn't think much of it until it swelled up like a balloon. I've also been afraid to do anything too vigorous, especially abs wise, because of the new piercing. And my friends, if you're considering getting your belly button done - consider this. It can take up to 9 months to heal!!!! Some people, even a year! And so..... I suggest waiting until you can skip the ab excersizes for a while before you do something like that. If at all...... thankfully, mine has been really well behaved, and it is healing well. It has been sort of magical - seems I can't stop looking at it, which has led me to embrace my tummy; something I haven't been able to do ever. We have a ways to go, but I am used to looking at it now, and it doesn't seem so bad. And it seems to be shrinking! I think that may be because I'm accepting the way it looks, and if I believe it looks good, it's funny how other people do too. lol.

Anyway.......... not exactly a good "plot" for this blog, or even a point. Other than to say, I'm doing better, and I miss hearing from all of you. :) I haven't given up, and don't plan to anytime soon. Bigger and better things are on the horizon. :) Keep up the good work guys - pretty soon it will be fall.... then winter...... are you ready? There'll be no "hibernation phase" this year for me! lol. BIG concert coming up in October. And yes, I'm going to wear that red dress, and it's going to look so HOT!!!! Time to move to Onderdland!!!!

xoxo

Trish

Comments(7)

Bummed, bruised, and bored

Thursday, December 6, 2007 23:09:16

Argh - this emotional rollercoaster needs to stop. I don't know what's happened to my sunny happy go lucky attitude lately.

Well, I do know what's happened. I found out Monday that my contract at the college isn't being renewed; which means I work through August, and that's it. Over. Done. Now what. I have no idea. There are some openings at the radio station down the road - they sound like the perfect thing, so we'll see. I'm trying to view this as an opportunity, but I really loved my job - I loved the atmosphere, I love my boss, so this is very sad for me.

Add in Mom - my sis isn't being too realistic. I've been told I can't go to their house to see her. If I want to see her, I have to take mom somewhere to spend time with her. Hello - she's not well enough to be going anywhere. It's a long story, that I won't bore you with, but it's not fair, and started the week off badly. Then getting hit with my contract not being renewed... this up and down business is so annoying. Just when things feel like they're going so well, something stupid has to happen to blow everything up. I wish I knew, what it was, I'm supposed to be learning. I know that my potential isn't being reached doing what I'm doing - the limitations on that position, which have nothing to do with my boss (she's fought for years to change things) just don't allow me to really be her assistant in the true word. It bascially allows me to be the lobby coverage for everyone else, and leaves an hour to be her assistant. It's a frustration for all involved, and I think she knows, infact has said that I deserve so much better, than being stuck behind a desk - that my talents are not being able to be used to their full potential, and she wants better for me. In essence, I'm being "kicked out of the nest for my own good" I guess. In time, I will see that, but right now, it just feels like a kick in the gut. She's not happy about it either, but there's not much either of us can do. Anyway.

So......... my freezer sits full of Jenny food, untouched for the most part. I find myself going back to my old ways of living off diet pepsi, coffee, and not eating. I've been tentative to excersize, afraid I'll hurt or catch my new piercing - especially with any ab work. And OMG! My pretty new pink pj/sweats???? I was playing "kettle bells" with the ab ball (ok, so that wasn't so smart) but apparently I ripped a hole in the seat of my pants!!!! And what's weird is they're not tight!!!! It may have been the stretching that did it too, but regardless, hello, there's the hole. I haven't even had them a week - how frustrating! I don't think they're going to take them back because I was a dork enough to try to stretch, or play "kettle bells" in them. You have to admit, it's kind of funny. But they are so lightweight and comfy, and work so well for my piercing, that I have been living in them when I'm not in my regular clothes.

Compound all this with, I went bike riding and took a nasty spill - but then Thursday, when I was running out the door with all my work stuff - satchel and purse in hand (about 30 pounds I swear)... my foot was very numb, and I was trying to be careful, but in my haste, I caught it on something on the top landing, and before I could even blink, I was on the cement sidewalk, trying to figure out what happened. My left side looks like a train ran me over.... and my back was so bad I had to crawl back in the house, and wait for help. I managed to get in with my pain doc, rather than hit the ER - we decided that a four hour wait was not a good thing, and this doc is a surgeon, and can do anything they can do at an ER. It was still a wait, and he wanted to check the numbness out, but I'm finally able to walk a bit today.

All depressing subject aside - it's time again to start finding that happy place inside me, and get back on the horse. I've read a lot of blogs lately, where I'm not the only one who is just feeling a bit lackluster and just not wanting to do this anymore. It's been tough getting back on track after taking my little break. But I haven't given up by any means, and Monday is IT.

How have the goals gone? Obviously, mine haven't gone so well! lol! So lets try again:

1. Water excersize- 3 times this week.

2. Resistance (squeeze those muscles!) anywhere and everywhere whever I can - and you can do these isolations anywhere without anyone knowing. I'm working my abs as I sit here. You just suck it in and old it, count to 20, let it out... repeat...... you can do that with every part of you. And it does help. No, it's not magic, but it adds to what we're trying to accomplish

3. Big goal. Get BACK ON THE FOOD. I need to make myself eat. Here it is 1:30, and I still haven't eaten? Not good. That's the quickest way to kill your metabolism. But my big question is why? Why do I do this? Part is I'm just not hungry. The other part is, well, I just don't want to. Nothing sounds good. But I always feel better, eating the right things, and I know that's part of this feeling blue. I'm not eating the right things. Ha. I'm just not eating!

Not trying to be hard on myself, just trying to kick myself in the behind and get back on it.

What helps you when you feel this way? C'mon troups - time to reset goals and reorganize if you're feeling like me this week. :)

xoxo

Trish

Comments(5)

Keep the goals coming! :)

Thursday, December 6, 2007 23:04:11

Good Morning!

I'm hoping to keep the goals for this week coming, and thanks to those of you who did! Don't forget a reward :) You know how big I am on rewards!

I am in big pain today; it's a cross between the bruises from falling on the bike, and TOM making an appearance out of nowhere. Usually ibuprofin knocks the pain right out, but so far this morning I've had 800 mg (prescription dose), and nothing. I am seriously wondering how I'm going to manage work today, but I have no choice. :)

Last night I got so sick - this has been happening right before. I also became

so sleepy, that I just couldn't keep my eyes open - it was weird, and though I've had that awful nausea, never the tiredness like that. I had been going strong all day though, first with the Ab ball, then the 30 minu shred, then a little belly dance.. then later I did a kamakaze clean out of the bedroom. About an hour later, I was just sick, and literally so sleepy I kept falling asleep while I was trying to type. Even with some coffee this morning, I'm still feeling really groggy. When the cramps are this bad, the only way I can really escpape the pain is to sleep - not even the strongest medicine I have for my back will even touch this. Only Ibuprofin works on the cramps. Weird.

So I'm sitting here, checking in - I still need to take a shower, fix my breakfast, and my food to take to work today, and find something pretty to wear. At least that will be easier now that my closet has lost about 50 pounds of unwanted junk! lol. Still.... I hate deciding. Especially when I just want to stay in my "jammies" and curl up in a ball and forget everything.

I'm so up and down this week, and now I understand why that's been too. At least this time it sort of snuck up on me - other than the mood swings, no awful back pain, and minimal hyperventilating. Yes - I've had it checked out, and there's nothing they're really willing to do. Hormones don't help me. But I'm going to look into some herbal supplements. I know the vitamins (the B-12) has helped some with everything but the cramps, and actually sometimes it has helped with that too. But you have to take it faithfully that entire month before anything happens.

So back to goals this week - I did do the "ab ball" workout. I got the Ab Ball at Jenny Craig, and it came with a dvd. It's awesome, and really, not so hard that I couldn't get through the reps. So either I've gotten stronger, or it isn't too bad. (I vote for not too bad lol) though I do have to admit, I know my core is stronger and that's good!

I also followed that with Jillians 30 Day Shred - it's only the second time I've done it, but even the second time, it was easier. Probably because I knew what to expect. The only think I don't like, is that for someone my size, she doesn't really take into account that it might be difficult for someone like me to go from jumping jacks, to laying on the floor in a time span of 30 seconds. She alternates 3 minutes of cardio, then 2 minutes of strength, then 1-2 minutes of ab/floor work. And the change ups are maddeningly quick - but that's part of the success of it I guess - keep moving! If you do get this dvd, you'll want at least some kind of mat - and yoga matts don't quite cut it for me, so I also fold a blanket under mine for a little more padding. The other thing you need is hand weights - anywhere from 2 - 5 pounds to start, depending on where you are with weights. I started with 3 pound weights, and they are just enough. You want the last few "reps" to be almost too difficult - otherwise your weights are going to be "too light" - at least after the first couple times. The first time I did this, I didn't use weights at all. And she doesn't give an alternate for jumping jacks, but I still can't do them (my "lame" foot) - so I do brisque marching in place instead. That's the only modification I make, and hey, it's our program, why not. As long as you're getting your heart rate up - that's the important thing, and I do do my arms as if I am doing jumping jacks with the marching in place. Just much more low impact. Other than that, I think it's a great workout.

So my goals this week, narrowed down to 2:

Alternate 30 Day Shred and Ab Ball - 4 days this week.
Eat PER the program - all the way - no "cheating"! I have to get back on track before I start "playing" with things, and really, I have some lost time to make up, so I don't even want to mess with that!

So with that........... I'm off to get the day started. Hey. I already feel a bit better. Maybe the motrin is finally kicking in - yeesh!

xoxoxo

Trish

Comments(4)

Diet Vacation Over! What are your two goals this week?

Thursday, December 6, 2007 23:03:14

So it's been about 3 weeks, that I have been "off" Jenny Craig. I've had a lot of stress going on - but despite the gain, I've mostly been hitting different excersize to deal with the stress, rather than turning to food. I know that the gain is more from allowing myself a few too many tropical fru fru drinks. The sun comes out, I want to sit in the sun with a fruity umbrella drink in the chase lounge. Which is fine. Just not every day!

Today will be my last day of "vacation" plan wise. I went to Jenny yesterday, checked in with the counselor, and got my week's worth of food. I haven't been getting in enough water, but I have been doing different excersizes. Yesterday was a really bad day, but instead of using food to comfort, I got on the bike and just rode and rode until I was no longer angry. Unfortunately, I took a big spill, trying to stop the dumb thing at a stop sign. I was fine, but the bike is just a little too tall for me, and when I put my foot down to balance, over I went. At least it wasn't while I was riding at warp speeds! So now I have a lovely set of bruises all up and down my right side.

Yesterday, with my Jenny food, I decided to finally give in and buy the Ab Ball. It's a "medicine" ball, but it has handles, and weighs 8 pounds. Add that to my collection of hand weights, my yoga matt, and my new dvd's - these "toys" will be great for the 30 day shred when I get to the second and third levels. The ball also came with it's own dvd routine, which is great.

I've also been considering getting a "kettle bell". Don't know if you've heard of those, and really, I'm not sure I'm strong enough yet, or if my back could handle something like that yet. It looks like a cowbell almost, - hmm, well maybe not. It's like a cannon ball with an inverted triangle handle on it. You swing it! Through your legs, above your head - this definitely looks like something you should do outside! lol! But it's all the rage in Hollywood right now I guess lol - with the "trainers to the stars". So silly, but I love that stuff. lol. If you haven't heard of kettle bell training, you will - it's starting to really take over as the "next big thing", and it's supposed to really work every part of you because no matter how you're "swinging" it, you have to engage your core.

My belly button is really healing nicely! There's a little bruising, that was mroe from the clamp they use than anything. But the sites themselves, are really nice - no ragged edges, there's been no bleeding, not even when he pierced it, and no "crusties". (again, maybe TMI, but you have to really watch it carefully, and it takes about 6 weeks to heal at best). You are supposed to take a shot glass with sea salt water (less is more) and put it over the piercing and just soak it for 10 - 15 minutes. Then you have to use the anti-bacterial soap, and make sure that you get it completely dry when you're done. And you NEVER EVER tough anywhere near it, unless you've completely disinfected your hands. It can be tricky, because they can get infected very easy; but so far we're on day 4, and we're looking great!!!! The only "bummer" is that I'm supposed to stay out of the hot tub, and I don't know that laying in the sun is the best for it either - espeically if I were to get sunburned, and I can't really put spf anywhere near it in case it reacts. But I found one of those kids easter eggs - and I'm going to use one half, to cover it, so I can lay in the sun lol. I also got waterproof bandaids, so that I can go in the hot tub. And I guess I can, I just need to make sure that I really clean it really well, immediately after getting out. But enough of about piercings!!!

Well, except for this. Since I got it done, I notice that I'm really focusing on wanting to slim my abs. And, I'm finding that I'm becoming much more accepting of the way I am right now with my tummy - before I couldn't even look at it, I hated it. But now I'm starting to not feel so bad about it - and the more I find that I'm accepting it, the more I want to wittle that area down. I mentioned in one of my blogs about how our aerobics teacher told us one time - to not hide in sweats in class. Instead, wear shorts - wear the spandex tights and tops - show your body - because the more you get used to looking at it, the more you start to accept and love yourself - and that is a huge transformation in helping you want to see the changes! I noticed once I started wearing those cute "aerobic outfits" (and this was in the 80's, leg warmers and all lol) - the more I realized that I did look ok...... and that I was getting better every day with my body shaping. Wearing those big floppy sweats, just makes you feel bigger and more sloppy! And all that time, I thought it "hid" me. Instead, is just made me look even bigger than I really was! So maybe try it sometime. Brave those bike shorts. Brave the sports bra/top. Even if it's just at home in your living room, it gets you in the "Hey, I am an athletic type person after all!" mode. That's something I love about belly dance too - at first I wore big bulky shirts. But the instructor also said, no, wear something we can see your movements in so we can make sure you're doing them right.......... and the more I wore those things, the more confident I became, and the better I felt. I actually felt sexy for the first time when I'd put on those clothes.

Bottom line with that - when you put something on that makes you feel great, or sexy, it brings out that motivation to keep going! Taking pictures along the way - one when you start - one at your first weight loss goal - another at your next, and so on.... then comparing the pics... you can really see where the weight is going. Where when we just look at ourselves, it's sometimes hard for us to see it at all. Especially in the beginning.

So I'm jumping around here......... but now I have my new toy, the ab ball, and I'm going to give it a go. I'm just about to review the workout video and then pull the matt out and try it. I might even go outside, use the lap top to view the workout, and give it a shot out in the sunshine. Tan and tone at the same time! Woo-Hoo! I'll have to let you know how it goes! I'm excited! I've been a little nervous about doing ANY ab work because of the new piercing, but since there's been no pain, as long as I'm careful, I think it will be fine.

Ok. So here's to phase two. Break over people! This phase is going to be all about excersize, and getting out there and moving. These are some goals:

Try my new ab ball workout
ride the bike at least twice a week, even if it's just around the block
belly dance at least once a week
30 Day shred - once a week, and adding up to 3x a week. This will be my number one workout for this phase.
park further away and walk more
If I go to the mall, to walk the entire mall, every nook and cranny, at least once around at a good pace - and I can window shop at the same time! lol.
Take the stairs instead of the elevator
If an escalator is the only option, walk the escalator!
Be less efficient when I pick things up - in other words, instead of trying to pick up 5 things at once to save the walking - do one at a time, so that I have to walk back and forth more.
Ballet workout one day a week.

So those are the fitness goals. I'm really going to hit the weights at home - it will really speed up the metabolism and the bonus, is you will still be burning calories a few hours after you've worked out!

With that said......... enough talk, and it's time for some action. And tomorrow morning it's back on Jenny food full scale. Weigh in is Saturday. Wish me luck on phase two! And for all of you - yes, I noticed too that many of us have been having some stressful times (one blog I read, someone had commented that many of us seem to really be struggling with emotional stuff)... so hang in there if you are, and know that this is a chance to practice your "food coping skills" if you're an emotional eater. My goal is to replace food comfort, with excersize comfort!!!! And remember... even if you don't have time or room to excersize.... you can always do "isolations", where you're squeezing your abs, or your gluts... and every time you do some of those, you're tightening and toning! And it can be done anywhere, without anyone knowing what you're doing! lol!

So - is anyone excited yet?? Are we ready to do this thing??? TEAM EXTRA, Lets GO!!!!!! If you're reading this post (and actually made it through another of my long winded ramblings!) - first, congratulations! Second.... please respond with 2 things you're going to do this week, new or old, to help you stay with this. It can be mental - physical - or food wise.

Ok! You're turn! Oh! And remember to list your "reward" for completing those two goals this week!!!!

Shimmy On my friends!!!!

Trish :)

Comments(3)

Mmmmm Ed Hardy!!!!!

Thursday, December 6, 2007 23:02:02

Today has been a good day - until tonight. But that's another story.

I spent my day off, shopping. Yesterday when I went to Victoria's Secret, they forgot to take the anti-theft device off my tank top - which was very annoying! I really didn't want to drive all the way back. Well, I ended up going to the other mall, the one that has a bigger VS, got the device removed (though not before setting off every alarm in every store I had to walk through to get to the main mall and then to VS! How embarrasing!)... I ended up exchanging the pink sweats. Though they fit? I'm just not a low rise girl... my tummy is still too big and they weren't the comfy fit. I did try a couple other styles that they had, and they fit too, but again, just not flattering. So I ended up getting another pink rhinestone tank top (with a cool peace sign on it!) and I got their Pink brand "Fruity and Bright" body spray - yum. Think cotton candy. I also got the body wash with it (it was 2 for 20) and because I couldn't choose - I also ended up getting their special edition Pink "Back to Pink" body spritz. That one smells like lemon/citrus, and grapefruit. They are both soooo yummy. So after my VS experience, I proudly carried my pink and white bag out and headed to Macy's. lol. I decided since I'd gotten all these new underthings, that I should get some "lingerie". After all, it's going to be pretty hot, and I have nothing but too big flannel pj's lol. I do have some "pretties", but they are also so big now, that I could almost fit two of me into them! Safety pins and duck tape only go so far folks LOL. So I don't know what it was today, but apparently today was all about "Pink". Everything I got today, was either bright pink, or pastel pink. I found another adorable tank top, hot pink with sequins on on the side up to the straps. And a pair of white and pastel pink striped (yes, horizontal!, but tiny lol) t'shirt and bottoms pj's.... you could almost wear the bottoms like sweats (especially after what I saw at VS... pj's aren't just for home anymore apparently! lol!)... but they are made of an incredibly soft lightweight fabric, that keeps you cool in summer, but warm in winter. They are soo soft! And they fit! And they're so comfy! And yes... everything I got today, was a size large....... not 1x... not 3x... but large! How cool is that? There is a brand called "Jenni" (ha, that's appropriate!) - Jenni bunny love... by Jennifer Moore. I found a grey tank with bunnies on it, that had a baby pink thermal long sleeved shirt layered over the top - with of course, a big rhinestone bunny on it (think real bunny shape, not playboy lol)...... it's so cute. And again, very comfy. I love that you can wear one without the other as well. I get cold, so I can throw on the thermal shirt over the top, and in the winter it will be great. Though, of course, it will be too big lol. Back to VS...... I got some shimmery pink lip gloss, and some baby pink lip plumper. When I said I was into pink today, I really meant it! But I guess it's better than being in a "blue" mood!

After that, not burning through quite enough money apparently - and I have to stop here and say that everything I got, was 50% off, of already 50% off marked down to a third 50% off. of that...... I spent less than 50 bucks on all my lingerie..... after that, I headed to the most dangerous store of all. Mostly, because as I mentioned - I still had some money to "burn".

Now mind you. I rarely get to go shopping like this. This was my project money, and my birthday present from my husband, was being able to keep that money and go have a "pretty woman" shopping spree. Though it wasn't near that kind of amount, to me, someone who won't normally spend more than 12 bucks on a clothing item - it was a blast. So to Nordstrom I went. Perfume is my evil weakness. And I was in the mood. Obviously, after picking up the body sprays and lotions and wash at VS. But they were a less expensive version of a perfume that I have been coveting for 4 months now............. up until now, they've only carried it at Macy's..... and you could only buy the large size because they ran out of it so fast. It's called Ed Hardy.... by Christian Audigier. Ed Hardy, actually Don Hardy, the "Godfather of Tattoo".. but Chrisitan took Don's artwork and turned it into a fashion sensation, and Ed Hardy was born - there are clothes and shoes bearing the brand... and a perfume. I think it's funny, that my most recent fragrance is all about a tattoo artist! Appropriate again!.. and guess what color the container and the perfume bottle has? What else..... hot pink, and baby pink. And tattoo's. The pic, is above. The container is this cool tube with the artwork on it. When you open it, it's an experience in itself. The first thing you see, at the top of the glass bottle, is a pewter charm with "D.E.H" (Don Ed Hardy) and what looks like a bulldog wearing a hat. The bottle cover is just like the outside tube it came in......... it's the same pattern with the skull, roses, and the writing on it. Inside, it's a tall clear bottle, with Ed's signature on the bottom. See....... I love perfume bottles. I not only collect fragrances, but the cooler the bottle, the better, and I save them all. One day I'll have them all on a display shelf. Some of my bottles, are actually signed by the designer - I've gotten to meet some of them at special events at Nordstrom. Right now though, my bath and bedroom look like a fragrance counter at some high end dept store LOL. Again...... I won't spend lots of money on clothes and shoes or bags (well, until now?)... but I've always treated myself with fragrance. You can wear fragrance, no matter what size you are, right? So that was always my "reward" or special treat.

But then there's the fragrance itself. Oh..... My....... Goodness! I smell watermelon........ faint... strawberries.......... grapefruit........ citrus..........and then there are the middle and bottom what I call "lusty" notes... I'm not sure what they are, but I think I smell waterlilly... maybe a little amber, but it's light... this is on the surface, a very fruity, sweet, fresh and definitely summer scent. Aha! I was close! Here's the down low on the fragrance...

"The exciting composition of this fragrance opens with explosive notes of tropical mango, wild strawberries and red grapefruit. The heart introduces mystic black freesia, while the base follows with amber and rose accords."

Wow - I'm good! LOL! I missed the mango, and the black freesia, but I had it! Regardless........ this is yum-OOOOOHH! The pic is at the top!

So that's it......... my shopping frenzy. I didn't get to Jenny today - but had a good day foodwise, and tomorrow is "D" day.......... will post in tomorrow!

Now. If you need a nice reward, and something just yummy to hit the spot of that certain fruity yummy craving, go get yourself some Ed Hardy and soak it up baby! There's an entire website devoted to Christian A/Ed Hardy - it's cool, you should check it out if you're in that kind of a modd. Oh. And the word of the day is.......... PINK!!!!

xoxoxo

Trish

Comments(3)

A couple of milestones this week...beware if you're squeemish!!!

Thursday, December 6, 2007 23:01:04

So, I'm sitting here in my robe, and something truly amazing........ a bikini. Yes... it's true. A real honest to goodness bikini!!!! Do you have any idea how long it's been? Ok, I'll tell you. 7th grade. Of course, there's a little more to why.

So I had a couple of incredible milestones this week. One, led to me sitting here typing in a bikini. lol.

Some of you may remember me talking about a goal I had a while back. 8 or so years ago, I had my belly button pierced. But the guy (I know now anyway) did a bad job of it - and after I had my accident to my great grief (because this piercing symbolized a major life event) - there I was, having to remove it and let it heal over. Turns out the guy had pierced it too close to the surface. The event it symbolized, was a free spirited supposed last fling, with my best friend in the world, to meet up with old friends in South Carolina.

Yesterday, I woke up at 3am, and all I could think about was that it was time to renew this symbol of freedom. I had decided when I started this journey, that when I got below 200 pounds that I was going to get it re-done. Well, I'm not there yet. But I decided, why wait? I've still lost almost 33 pounds... and I wanted to "mark that", but also, I figured it would inspire me to continue, and especially to continue to work on those abs. So. After work yesterday, I jumped in the car, and headed to a reputable tattoo parlor - mind you, a place I've never set foot in my entire life. I was a bit petrified. But I was determined. I needed to do this. For me, it was a representation of an old milestone, but it was also now a new rite of passage in my mind. Yes, it's probably crazy, after just turning 44.... yes, it's crazy, at my weight. But... something I remember, is that when I lost weight the best, was when I started going to aerobics. It wasn't even the excersize - it was putting on a "workout" outfit, instead of sweats... and seeing myself in the mirror every time I went to class. I remember the teacher saying, "don't hide yourself - wear something that you can really see your body in - it will help", and she was right. Once I put those clothes on, I FELT like an excersize guru! And, I could see the changes better. Which motivated me even more. What this has to do with my wild behavior, is that, by seeing this piercing, it reminds me that I want flat abs. Or at least tolerable ones - and it makes me want to work all the harder. I was so scared when I went in there,... but they immediately put me at ease, and in the time it took to breathe in and breathe out, it was done - yes there was a pinch, but nothing like the first time I had it done. All the more reason I now know the guy botched the job. This piercer confirmed that for me. Not that it matters.......... It's been over 24 hours... no problems...... and really, it's very pretty! I chose a double gem barbell. What that means, is that just above where my belly button is, there is a beautiful hot pink crystal - the barbell goes through and into my navel, and there, sits a much larger hot pink crystal. Later, there are very pretty crystal dangly charms and things that you can wear. That's a ways off........ and again. I didn't do this to show it off at this point - the big victory, is that it's something I did for me, and me alone.

Which leads me to why I'm sitting here in a bikini! I went out today and passed milestone number 2............. I went to Victoria's Secret for the first time in over 16 years - and was able to buy 3 items of clothing!!!! And yes - they fit!!!! I wanted to get something that was "low rise" so that I could let some "healing" air get to the piercing. I actually bought Victoria's Secret "Pink" line low rise "knickers" - I wanted something that wouldn't hit the piercing. But I almost died when they actually fit! Then it was off to Lane Bryant, and I found myself having to get their smallest size.. and then, I found an adorable "bikini". So that's why I'm sitting here in one, I wanted to help speed the healing. Which by the way? No problems at all. That's amazing! But it's a long road to get too excited yet.

Final and best milestone - tonight I went online swimsuit shopping. Now that I know what size I am for swimsuits, I got 3 new ones (and yes, one is another bikini!) and am very excited! Again, this is not to wear in public, as much as it's to wear out to sun, or in the hot tub; but really just because I could!!!! I am working on accepting this body - again - just the way it is right now. And, again, it is providing inspiration to continue.

Tomorrow it's to Jenny Craig, to "return from vacation" - and..... I'm going to find my "new bike"!!!! I finally got paid for a couple projects - not much, but enough to justify my swimsuit shopping and a new bicycle.

And...... I'm still within 2 pounds of my starting weight at "vacation" time. I'm very happy about that. And oddly, I'm still losing inches, so it must be the excersize. I am so close to being in a 14 I can taste it!

I hope I didn't gross anyone out with my story - but it really is significant for me. It's not something I plan to flaunt - but now I can look down and have a "bright sparkly" reminder, of one of the reasons I want to continue. Eventually, I do want to be able to be comforable "showing it off". But that will be a long time from now. Until then..... it's our secret. And it feels great. :)

Have a great week!

xoxo

Trish

Comments(3)

It's just like riding a bike!

Friday, December 7, 2007 00:08:12

Well, haven't said much for a few days. Though you're probably relieved, as when I do say something - I tend to use a lot of words, and not say really anything that profound!

I did something new this weekend. I dusted off my son's mountain bike, and I rode around the neighborhood. Ok. It's been at least 20 years since I've been on a bike (ouch, giving away my age??) Not to mention, this is a boys bike - and my son is much taller than me.

After DH tried to adjust the seat - and unfortunately it's as "low" as it goes! - I attempted to climb aboard. Oh, if only America's Funniest Videos had been around; or was I setting myself up to be "Punked"? Actually, it was a lot more - almost - like "WipeOut" than anything else!!! Those "big balls" on the show are nothing - try climbing on a too tall boys mountain bike.

Pretty shaky at first... I finally got the strength to push that pedal and actually get mounted on the bike, only to realize I didn't remember how to use the breaks. Or, how to turn. Or, how to get up a hill. Or.. change the gears, so I wasn't in the 16th gear.... good Lord, how does my son do it?! My bike was never that complicated. Give me a good old "huffy" with 3 speeds and no boy bar, and I'll be happy.

I finally got my "sea legs", and made it to the end of the street, where to my neighbors great entertainment and chagrin, I attempted to wave and turn at the same time. They say a "rednecks" final words are usually, "Hey! Look what I can do!!" I think that about says it all. At least I didn't end up in the hospital, and my neighbor was very kind to bring me a band-aid for my scraped up knee. That's what I get for showing off. But, I got back in the saddle, and for the next 20 minutes rode back and forth in a straight line, hitting a glacial pace of about 2 miles an hour lol.

Despite my "hey watch this" moment, it was soooooo much fun! I had so much fun, that I came in, lifted some weights, did some squats, and then couldn't stand it, and went back out and tried the bike again. This time I made it all over the neighborhood - I even evaded the teacup chihuaha that tried to eat me as I went by. I made it up one hill, but was too chicken to get up the speed on the way down to make it up the next hill - and ended up walking the bike the rest of the way up. I walked it through the turn as well, wasn't going to chance that again.

By the end of the ride, I was sailing past the neighbors - and he and his wife toasted me with his beer, and they clapped and whistled lol.

I don't know how many calories I burned - but I had an absolute blast. So, as I continue to celebrate my birthday month, I've decided that I'm going to spend my "birthday" money on my very own bike.

Does anyone know where you can find a nice padded seat, baloon tire bike with streamers, cards in the spokes, and a bell????

Oh! And let's not forget the "daisy" basket, so I can carry my water - and fresh supply of band-aids, ibuprofin and ice packs.

xoxo

Trish :)

Comments(5)