A couple of milestones this week...beware if you're squeemish!!!
So, I'm sitting here in my robe, and something truly amazing........ a bikini. Yes... it's true. A real honest to goodness bikini!!!! Do you have any idea how long it's been? Ok, I'll tell you. 7th grade. Of course, there's a little more to why.
So I had a couple of incredible milestones this week. One, led to me sitting here typing in a bikini. lol.
Some of you may remember me talking about a goal I had a while back. 8 or so years ago, I had my belly button pierced. But the guy (I know now anyway) did a bad job of it - and after I had my accident to my great grief (because this piercing symbolized a major life event) - there I was, having to remove it and let it heal over. Turns out the guy had pierced it too close to the surface. The event it symbolized, was a free spirited supposed last fling, with my best friend in the world, to meet up with old friends in South Carolina.
Yesterday, I woke up at 3am, and all I could think about was that it was time to renew this symbol of freedom. I had decided when I started this journey, that when I got below 200 pounds that I was going to get it re-done. Well, I'm not there yet. But I decided, why wait? I've still lost almost 33 pounds... and I wanted to "mark that", but also, I figured it would inspire me to continue, and especially to continue to work on those abs. So. After work yesterday, I jumped in the car, and headed to a reputable tattoo parlor - mind you, a place I've never set foot in my entire life. I was a bit petrified. But I was determined. I needed to do this. For me, it was a representation of an old milestone, but it was also now a new rite of passage in my mind. Yes, it's probably crazy, after just turning 44.... yes, it's crazy, at my weight. But... something I remember, is that when I lost weight the best, was when I started going to aerobics. It wasn't even the excersize - it was putting on a "workout" outfit, instead of sweats... and seeing myself in the mirror every time I went to class. I remember the teacher saying, "don't hide yourself - wear something that you can really see your body in - it will help", and she was right. Once I put those clothes on, I FELT like an excersize guru! And, I could see the changes better. Which motivated me even more. What this has to do with my wild behavior, is that, by seeing this piercing, it reminds me that I want flat abs. Or at least tolerable ones - and it makes me want to work all the harder. I was so scared when I went in there,... but they immediately put me at ease, and in the time it took to breathe in and breathe out, it was done - yes there was a pinch, but nothing like the first time I had it done. All the more reason I now know the guy botched the job. This piercer confirmed that for me. Not that it matters.......... It's been over 24 hours... no problems...... and really, it's very pretty! I chose a double gem barbell. What that means, is that just above where my belly button is, there is a beautiful hot pink crystal - the barbell goes through and into my navel, and there, sits a much larger hot pink crystal. Later, there are very pretty crystal dangly charms and things that you can wear. That's a ways off........ and again. I didn't do this to show it off at this point - the big victory, is that it's something I did for me, and me alone.
Which leads me to why I'm sitting here in a bikini! I went out today and passed milestone number 2............. I went to Victoria's Secret for the first time in over 16 years - and was able to buy 3 items of clothing!!!! And yes - they fit!!!! I wanted to get something that was "low rise" so that I could let some "healing" air get to the piercing. I actually bought Victoria's Secret "Pink" line low rise "knickers" - I wanted something that wouldn't hit the piercing. But I almost died when they actually fit! Then it was off to Lane Bryant, and I found myself having to get their smallest size.. and then, I found an adorable "bikini". So that's why I'm sitting here in one, I wanted to help speed the healing. Which by the way? No problems at all. That's amazing! But it's a long road to get too excited yet.
Final and best milestone - tonight I went online swimsuit shopping. Now that I know what size I am for swimsuits, I got 3 new ones (and yes, one is another bikini!) and am very excited! Again, this is not to wear in public, as much as it's to wear out to sun, or in the hot tub; but really just because I could!!!! I am working on accepting this body - again - just the way it is right now. And, again, it is providing inspiration to continue.
Tomorrow it's to Jenny Craig, to "return from vacation" - and..... I'm going to find my "new bike"!!!! I finally got paid for a couple projects - not much, but enough to justify my swimsuit shopping and a new bicycle.
And...... I'm still within 2 pounds of my starting weight at "vacation" time. I'm very happy about that. And oddly, I'm still losing inches, so it must be the excersize. I am so close to being in a 14 I can taste it!
I hope I didn't gross anyone out with my story - but it really is significant for me. It's not something I plan to flaunt - but now I can look down and have a "bright sparkly" reminder, of one of the reasons I want to continue. Eventually, I do want to be able to be comforable "showing it off". But that will be a long time from now. Until then..... it's our secret. And it feels great. :)
Have a great week!
xoxo
Trish
