My Weight Loss
|Lost to date:||55.90lb|
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What a Great Show!
Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch....
Wow - Everything's different!!
Oh my goodness. I'm away for a while, and everything has changed! Is everybody still around? Missy? Ducky? Rasberry? Tatums Mom?
I think I fell back into a black hole for a while. My last post, I'd gone back to Jenny Craig. And again, I only ate about a portion of the food, and haven't touched it since. My contract job at the college came to an end, and I've been trying to find a great new job. I'm upbeat about it, and I've applied for something that would be wonderful, I'm just hoping my resume was good enough to get picked from the pile.
So I've crawled out of my hole, am dusting myself off... adjusting my sunglasses, cause boy is it bright here lol.
But I haven't given up by any means. I've pretty much maintained, which is amazing. But I admit, the motivation to even think about it at all has been very low. So we're going to start - again. :) Little goals.
- Drink water
- Eat breakfast
- Walk for 20 minutes twice this week.
Time to once again ax the coffee, and the soda. I also think I need to completely stay away from ice cream or chocolate, because I never want that stuff unless I end up having it. Then I want it ever day for a week, and I think that's what started this little "vacation" in the first place!
I really hope all of you are doing well. I've missed you, and I'll check in this week, it really does help.
Love, Joy, Peace!
Yes, I called Jenny! Have YOU called Jenny yet?!
This will be quick - but yes, I did go back to Jenny yesterday. Got all my food, and I'm ready to go this morning. I'm excited again, feel good about it, and got a couple new foods I haven't tried yet!
My weight is up, yes - 5 pounds, and that was my limit. I know that will be gone by the end of the week, and not worried about it. But that's the key - never let yourself go up more than 5 pounds before you "reign it in". So back on program, and I'm ready now. :)
My goal is 2 days of cardio - starting slow, and setting goals I know I can achieve; it will be a busy week, but don't want to over-set goals yet. I'm nervous about my belly button getting caught on something, but they have bandaids for that lol.
I have to get to work - but wanted to report it, and tell everyone to watch out, because Trish's back in town!!!!!
Have a great first day of the week!!!!
Yes, I'm still alive :)
Hi gang :)
I know it's been a while. Thank you for all your support, and for writing. MIssy, thanks so much for all your care and support :) You are wonderful - all of you are.
I've pretty much been staying in my "hard protective shell" the past few weeks; I'm truly a very typical "Cancer" that way. I don't run; I pull inward, and stand my ground and wait. Not sure what I've been waiting for - the world to end? For my weight loss to magically continue? But I didn't want my melancholy mood to infect anyone else. I don't even know if you can call it melancholy. Numb is better.
I haven't been excersizing, I've been afraid to anger my new piercing. It's healing well though, and I think I can start again today. More likely tomorrow. I was supposed to go back into Jenny today, but having no sleep all week, I called and said I'd reschedule - which I still have to do before they close. I am trying to steel myself - my will - to get back with it. I've done ok, but I did finally weigh today, and I'm up 5 pounds. That's my limit - time to get crackin. My pretty belly jewel reminds me that I'm never going to let myself get up more than 5 pounds again - so it's actually been worth it; I swear I can see that 5 pounds, and I feel fat and lethargic again. Funny, as I still have a lot to lose that I would feel that way, but the feeling of euphoria as the weight was falling off me has definitely turned to omg - I have to fix this NOW. And so close to the Onderland mark, not sure what spooked me and made me stop.
I think about that....... I've done it before. It's almost like I know I'll love my new body, but I also know it won't magically make anything else change. But it will make ME feel better, and that's what I need to remember. All the other little silly things that happen will work themselves out the way they're supposed to, but no one is going to take care of me. That's up to ME. And I've just sort of gone to this place of numbness. It's not "I don't care", it's hard to describe. I've still been watching the portions, but I'm definitely not eating enough. Not even close. These habits are going to be hard to break, and I have to break them. I guess I'm just feeling tired, a little worn out. But break is over. I know I said that last time - ok, and the time before. I've just let myself be consumed about everything else but me this past month, and it's time to get back to being good to myself again.
I don't want to update my weight, don't want to see that gain on screen, but I need to. So here we go again, and my resolve is still there. It's just been clouded a bit this past month. After all I have a huge concert to get ready for, and I am going to look great in that red dress. More importantly, I'm going to be in great shape to sing up on that stage and dance for 2-3 hours. So time to quit this now, and get back to it.
I think sometimes, we want this weight loss to change our lives so much, that we forget, that really, it's not going to change any of the outside stuff going on. That's why it has to be for ourselves. It can't be for anyone else, not for a concert, not for a husband, not for a wedding - it has to be for US. Otherwise, as we get closer to our goal, we lose steam - but also, we realize that all those things we thought would change in the outside world, didn't - and then we become dissillusioned; making it harder to keep going.
Spend some time really going inward, and finding that reason you want to do this. Find that small spark, and turn it into a flame. I say this to me, as much as I say it to you. :)
I think we all do it. We get to a certain point, where we start to get a bit cocky... a little overconfident. Soon you're telling yourself I deserve a break, I've been soooo good. Look at all this weight I've lost. I can do it on my own. But that's dangerous - because then you can quickly end up becoming complacent about the whole thing. Then you start reasoning, I've come so far - I look good. That's what I wanted, right? No big deal, I can do this - tomorrow.
But my friend - there is no tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes. So. It's time to do it - Today. :)
Love, courage and strength to you!
I'm Still Here :)
Boy, when I said I was going to celebrate my birthday for the entire month, I apparently meant it!
But, this is part of the learning process - the learning curve. The adventure, continues, and I've been "living in the real world" of food for the past month. Now I know, that's not really something to celebrate. What is - is that I am still losing inches somehow, and, for the most part, I've maintained. By no real fault - or shall we say motivation - of my own, I am somehow almost back to my lowest weight. To be quite honest, I'm not really sure how.
No, I think I do know how. I still really need to work on the kinks in all of this. But - there is some victory there. I have found that I tend to go back to that skip break (BAD!), skip lunch, maybe eat dinner thing. Drink too many diet pepsi's. I have learned that my danger zone is after 8,.... when I want to stay awake all night, and that's when I want to eat. I've found that I've been reaching for whole wheat instead of white bread. I've found that I'm learning to eat toast without the butter. That I reach for fruit more often. That if we have steak with broccolli, and potatoes, I eat more broccolli than steak, and I skip the potato.
With this said, some healthier habits have stuck it seems. So yes, we do really need to work on the getting food in part, and that's slowly getting better. I don't not eat to lose any weight. It's because nothing sounds good - I literally can't stomach the thought of eating. That's one of the reason's I went on Jenny in the first place, was I was so tired of eating junk when I did eat. I really don't know how to change that - the pizza Fridays'.... the hamburger/hot dog on the grill nights; the hamburger helper nights when honey bunny is trying to help out by cooking. I mean, how do you gently tell them, "it's so great that you're cooking tonight. Oh honey, by the way, could we please not have hamburger helper, and eat something a little healthier?" Steak and chicken breasts are a little expensive as well, have you noticed how much more "healthy" food costs? The veggies - the fruit - good grief, 9.00 for a pound of CHERRIES???? It's so wrong. Yet, the news flaps on about how America is obese, and that we need to get it together, .... the economy is in the toilet, and then you go to the store, and a loaf of whole wheat bread is the same as buying an entire frozen pizza. Hmm. They don't exactly help us out, do they? When fast food is a buck, and a salad is 7.00? And supersize is the way of life. When I see what my two teen boys can consume (and they're thin by the way) - it just blows my mind. How can they eat like that, and stay thin? Thankfully, they have really become more aware of even though they aren't getting overweight eating this stuff - that it's bad for them, and they feel slugish when they eat that way. Eldest son is really getting into eating healthier, and youngest, always has preferred eating the better healthier things. I'm so blessed with him, he'll try anything at least once!
I'm rambling on with this, not saying too much about me I guess. Lots has gone on, and I haven't been dealing with things too well. I've felt guilty about spending the money on JC..... but even DH agrees, that I need to get back with it. When I'm on it though, he's left in control of dinner, and that means some nights it just gets blown off (find whatever you can in the fridge night) - which either ends up in a pizza, or stopping off at fast food, and I hate that. So it requires planning again; making sure the things are here that are healthy. So that's what I've been trying to do - keep lots of chicken breasts in the freezer; lean meat (how bizzare that steak is less than buying hamburger lately?) - but if I plan, it's there, and there's no excuse.
The excersize has been only therapeutic lately. With my back acting up, and my leg, even walking has been difficult. But that's finally on the mend again, and the swelling has gone down; I've stayed off it, and it's almost back to normal. (ankle). I still don't know what that was really about, but I think I twisted it or hurt it when I fell, and because I can't really feel it, and there was really no bruising, I didn't think much of it until it swelled up like a balloon. I've also been afraid to do anything too vigorous, especially abs wise, because of the new piercing. And my friends, if you're considering getting your belly button done - consider this. It can take up to 9 months to heal!!!! Some people, even a year! And so..... I suggest waiting until you can skip the ab excersizes for a while before you do something like that. If at all...... thankfully, mine has been really well behaved, and it is healing well. It has been sort of magical - seems I can't stop looking at it, which has led me to embrace my tummy; something I haven't been able to do ever. We have a ways to go, but I am used to looking at it now, and it doesn't seem so bad. And it seems to be shrinking! I think that may be because I'm accepting the way it looks, and if I believe it looks good, it's funny how other people do too. lol.
Anyway.......... not exactly a good "plot" for this blog, or even a point. Other than to say, I'm doing better, and I miss hearing from all of you. :) I haven't given up, and don't plan to anytime soon. Bigger and better things are on the horizon. :) Keep up the good work guys - pretty soon it will be fall.... then winter...... are you ready? There'll be no "hibernation phase" this year for me! lol. BIG concert coming up in October. And yes, I'm going to wear that red dress, and it's going to look so HOT!!!! Time to move to Onderdland!!!!
Keep the goals coming! :)
I'm hoping to keep the goals for this week coming, and thanks to those of you who did! Don't forget a reward :) You know how big I am on rewards!
I am in big pain today; it's a cross between the bruises from falling on the bike, and TOM making an appearance out of nowhere. Usually ibuprofin knocks the pain right out, but so far this morning I've had 800 mg (prescription dose), and nothing. I am seriously wondering how I'm going to manage work today, but I have no choice. :)
Last night I got so sick - this has been happening right before. I also became
so sleepy, that I just couldn't keep my eyes open - it was weird, and though I've had that awful nausea, never the tiredness like that. I had been going strong all day though, first with the Ab ball, then the 30 minu shred, then a little belly dance.. then later I did a kamakaze clean out of the bedroom. About an hour later, I was just sick, and literally so sleepy I kept falling asleep while I was trying to type. Even with some coffee this morning, I'm still feeling really groggy. When the cramps are this bad, the only way I can really escpape the pain is to sleep - not even the strongest medicine I have for my back will even touch this. Only Ibuprofin works on the cramps. Weird.
So I'm sitting here, checking in - I still need to take a shower, fix my breakfast, and my food to take to work today, and find something pretty to wear. At least that will be easier now that my closet has lost about 50 pounds of unwanted junk! lol. Still.... I hate deciding. Especially when I just want to stay in my "jammies" and curl up in a ball and forget everything.
I'm so up and down this week, and now I understand why that's been too. At least this time it sort of snuck up on me - other than the mood swings, no awful back pain, and minimal hyperventilating. Yes - I've had it checked out, and there's nothing they're really willing to do. Hormones don't help me. But I'm going to look into some herbal supplements. I know the vitamins (the B-12) has helped some with everything but the cramps, and actually sometimes it has helped with that too. But you have to take it faithfully that entire month before anything happens.
So back to goals this week - I did do the "ab ball" workout. I got the Ab Ball at Jenny Craig, and it came with a dvd. It's awesome, and really, not so hard that I couldn't get through the reps. So either I've gotten stronger, or it isn't too bad. (I vote for not too bad lol) though I do have to admit, I know my core is stronger and that's good!
I also followed that with Jillians 30 Day Shred - it's only the second time I've done it, but even the second time, it was easier. Probably because I knew what to expect. The only think I don't like, is that for someone my size, she doesn't really take into account that it might be difficult for someone like me to go from jumping jacks, to laying on the floor in a time span of 30 seconds. She alternates 3 minutes of cardio, then 2 minutes of strength, then 1-2 minutes of ab/floor work. And the change ups are maddeningly quick - but that's part of the success of it I guess - keep moving! If you do get this dvd, you'll want at least some kind of mat - and yoga matts don't quite cut it for me, so I also fold a blanket under mine for a little more padding. The other thing you need is hand weights - anywhere from 2 - 5 pounds to start, depending on where you are with weights. I started with 3 pound weights, and they are just enough. You want the last few "reps" to be almost too difficult - otherwise your weights are going to be "too light" - at least after the first couple times. The first time I did this, I didn't use weights at all. And she doesn't give an alternate for jumping jacks, but I still can't do them (my "lame" foot) - so I do brisque marching in place instead. That's the only modification I make, and hey, it's our program, why not. As long as you're getting your heart rate up - that's the important thing, and I do do my arms as if I am doing jumping jacks with the marching in place. Just much more low impact. Other than that, I think it's a great workout.
So my goals this week, narrowed down to 2:
- Alternate 30 Day Shred and Ab Ball - 4 days this week.
- Eat PER the program - all the way - no "cheating"! I have to get back on track before I start "playing" with things, and really, I have some lost time to make up, so I don't even want to mess with that!
So with that........... I'm off to get the day started. Hey. I already feel a bit better. Maybe the motrin is finally kicking in - yeesh!
Diet Vacation Over! What are your two goals this week?
So it's been about 3 weeks, that I have been "off" Jenny Craig. I've had a lot of stress going on - but despite the gain, I've mostly been hitting different excersize to deal with the stress, rather than turning to food. I know that the gain is more from allowing myself a few too many tropical fru fru drinks. The sun comes out, I want to sit in the sun with a fruity umbrella drink in the chase lounge. Which is fine. Just not every day!
Today will be my last day of "vacation" plan wise. I went to Jenny yesterday, checked in with the counselor, and got my week's worth of food. I haven't been getting in enough water, but I have been doing different excersizes. Yesterday was a really bad day, but instead of using food to comfort, I got on the bike and just rode and rode until I was no longer angry. Unfortunately, I took a big spill, trying to stop the dumb thing at a stop sign. I was fine, but the bike is just a little too tall for me, and when I put my foot down to balance, over I went. At least it wasn't while I was riding at warp speeds! So now I have a lovely set of bruises all up and down my right side.
Yesterday, with my Jenny food, I decided to finally give in and buy the Ab Ball. It's a "medicine" ball, but it has handles, and weighs 8 pounds. Add that to my collection of hand weights, my yoga matt, and my new dvd's - these "toys" will be great for the 30 day shred when I get to the second and third levels. The ball also came with it's own dvd routine, which is great.
I've also been considering getting a "kettle bell". Don't know if you've heard of those, and really, I'm not sure I'm strong enough yet, or if my back could handle something like that yet. It looks like a cowbell almost, - hmm, well maybe not. It's like a cannon ball with an inverted triangle handle on it. You swing it! Through your legs, above your head - this definitely looks like something you should do outside! lol! But it's all the rage in Hollywood right now I guess lol - with the "trainers to the stars". So silly, but I love that stuff. lol. If you haven't heard of kettle bell training, you will - it's starting to really take over as the "next big thing", and it's supposed to really work every part of you because no matter how you're "swinging" it, you have to engage your core.
My belly button is really healing nicely! There's a little bruising, that was mroe from the clamp they use than anything. But the sites themselves, are really nice - no ragged edges, there's been no bleeding, not even when he pierced it, and no "crusties". (again, maybe TMI, but you have to really watch it carefully, and it takes about 6 weeks to heal at best). You are supposed to take a shot glass with sea salt water (less is more) and put it over the piercing and just soak it for 10 - 15 minutes. Then you have to use the anti-bacterial soap, and make sure that you get it completely dry when you're done. And you NEVER EVER tough anywhere near it, unless you've completely disinfected your hands. It can be tricky, because they can get infected very easy; but so far we're on day 4, and we're looking great!!!! The only "bummer" is that I'm supposed to stay out of the hot tub, and I don't know that laying in the sun is the best for it either - espeically if I were to get sunburned, and I can't really put spf anywhere near it in case it reacts. But I found one of those kids easter eggs - and I'm going to use one half, to cover it, so I can lay in the sun lol. I also got waterproof bandaids, so that I can go in the hot tub. And I guess I can, I just need to make sure that I really clean it really well, immediately after getting out. But enough of about piercings!!!
Well, except for this. Since I got it done, I notice that I'm really focusing on wanting to slim my abs. And, I'm finding that I'm becoming much more accepting of the way I am right now with my tummy - before I couldn't even look at it, I hated it. But now I'm starting to not feel so bad about it - and the more I find that I'm accepting it, the more I want to wittle that area down. I mentioned in one of my blogs about how our aerobics teacher told us one time - to not hide in sweats in class. Instead, wear shorts - wear the spandex tights and tops - show your body - because the more you get used to looking at it, the more you start to accept and love yourself - and that is a huge transformation in helping you want to see the changes! I noticed once I started wearing those cute "aerobic outfits" (and this was in the 80's, leg warmers and all lol) - the more I realized that I did look ok...... and that I was getting better every day with my body shaping. Wearing those big floppy sweats, just makes you feel bigger and more sloppy! And all that time, I thought it "hid" me. Instead, is just made me look even bigger than I really was! So maybe try it sometime. Brave those bike shorts. Brave the sports bra/top. Even if it's just at home in your living room, it gets you in the "Hey, I am an athletic type person after all!" mode. That's something I love about belly dance too - at first I wore big bulky shirts. But the instructor also said, no, wear something we can see your movements in so we can make sure you're doing them right.......... and the more I wore those things, the more confident I became, and the better I felt. I actually felt sexy for the first time when I'd put on those clothes.
Bottom line with that - when you put something on that makes you feel great, or sexy, it brings out that motivation to keep going! Taking pictures along the way - one when you start - one at your first weight loss goal - another at your next, and so on.... then comparing the pics... you can really see where the weight is going. Where when we just look at ourselves, it's sometimes hard for us to see it at all. Especially in the beginning.
So I'm jumping around here......... but now I have my new toy, the ab ball, and I'm going to give it a go. I'm just about to review the workout video and then pull the matt out and try it. I might even go outside, use the lap top to view the workout, and give it a shot out in the sunshine. Tan and tone at the same time! Woo-Hoo! I'll have to let you know how it goes! I'm excited! I've been a little nervous about doing ANY ab work because of the new piercing, but since there's been no pain, as long as I'm careful, I think it will be fine.
Ok. So here's to phase two. Break over people! This phase is going to be all about excersize, and getting out there and moving. These are some goals:
- Try my new ab ball workout
- ride the bike at least twice a week, even if it's just around the block
- belly dance at least once a week
- 30 Day shred - once a week, and adding up to 3x a week. This will be my number one workout for this phase.
- park further away and walk more
- If I go to the mall, to walk the entire mall, every nook and cranny, at least once around at a good pace - and I can window shop at the same time! lol.
- Take the stairs instead of the elevator
- If an escalator is the only option, walk the escalator!
- Be less efficient when I pick things up - in other words, instead of trying to pick up 5 things at once to save the walking - do one at a time, so that I have to walk back and forth more.
- Ballet workout one day a week.
So those are the fitness goals. I'm really going to hit the weights at home - it will really speed up the metabolism and the bonus, is you will still be burning calories a few hours after you've worked out!
With that said......... enough talk, and it's time for some action. And tomorrow morning it's back on Jenny food full scale. Weigh in is Saturday. Wish me luck on phase two! And for all of you - yes, I noticed too that many of us have been having some stressful times (one blog I read, someone had commented that many of us seem to really be struggling with emotional stuff)... so hang in there if you are, and know that this is a chance to practice your "food coping skills" if you're an emotional eater. My goal is to replace food comfort, with excersize comfort!!!! And remember... even if you don't have time or room to excersize.... you can always do "isolations", where you're squeezing your abs, or your gluts... and every time you do some of those, you're tightening and toning! And it can be done anywhere, without anyone knowing what you're doing! lol!
So - is anyone excited yet?? Are we ready to do this thing??? TEAM EXTRA, Lets GO!!!!!! If you're reading this post (and actually made it through another of my long winded ramblings!) - first, congratulations! Second.... please respond with 2 things you're going to do this week, new or old, to help you stay with this. It can be mental - physical - or food wise.
Ok! You're turn! Oh! And remember to list your "reward" for completing those two goals this week!!!!
Shimmy On my friends!!!!