Ok, i haven't posted anything for a long time.... i can't post in my work anymore because my boss is looking over my shoulder all the time, which is a shame because i really miss the motivation i found here.
I must say that since my last post i already ran my first 5k race and it was incredible, awesome and more! It was the greatest day i had in a long time. I felt great and for the week 10th of training i felt like it was really happening. The race was on october 24th and i've been running every week since that day.
however, i must confess that i feel like i lost a bit of motivation. I wanted to run a 10k before the year is over but i started a very hard training, which consisted of running 10k in 5 weeks. I dropped that one and started again with a 10 week training for 8 k. i like it better though i feel that i am not really committed to this one.
I started week one last week and this week is the second one. i haven't been able to run for different lame excuses and i hate that. It is starting to get real cold here and i feel very lazy when i think about going to run. Dunno what's happening, maybe i'm tired of all the things going around in my job and in my house that i feel exhausted.
Also i need to confess that i haven't been taking care of my portions or even the food i put in my mouth. I started to think, well, i am running today, so it doesn't matter if i eat this cake, for example. So, you guessed right, i haven't dropped any kilo for almost three weeks now, i feel blocked... well, i don't know how to say in english... estancada... like if nothing is happening. My clothes are fitting well, or that's what i think, i don't feel tight so i guess i haven't gained weight.
Maybe i'm just boicoting myself... i can't find any other explanation for this. I'm proud of what i've accomplished but i feel like losing wait is such a slow process that i get frustrated and desperate. Don't get me wrong i love running, but sometimes is hard to do all this effort and not see any results or very little.
i know, i haven't been behaving with healthy meals and i should stop that but sometimes is difficult, especially in Mexico because there are many holidays during the last trimester of the year and we have special meals all the time. I know, i'm blaming everyone and everything else instead of me... i should regain my confidence and will power, but how?
I saw some pictures of Kelly Osborne today and now i feel... blue. i know, it took a long time for her... but sometimes i wish life was like in photoshop, lol :P
I have to remember that anything in life is easy and that i should be patient and continue in the same path.
Today when i get home i'll weigh myself, let's see if what i think (that i haven't gained weight) is true... if not, well, let's start over again. Go back to basics, eating well, run, enjoy....
PS. I really miss posting... i will try to do it more often...
Can't believe it! 7th week of training and 3.8 kilos less!
Well,
this Monday I finally started to run the 7th week of training. If we
add up numbers you can see I delayed my training for 1 week. Everything started
because one afternoon it rained and I could not go out, then for one reason or
another I didn’t ran again the last day of 6th week training. For
that reason I ended up repeating the 6th week training and until
this week I started the 7th week. Well, well, I was a bit lazy, tired and other
situations (including TOM) that didn’t let me run that week. But after
thinking, relaxing and focusing again I realized that not matter what I don’t
want to stop running.
By the end of 6th
week I realized I was able to run in intervals of 10 minutes with breaks of 3
minutes. And at the end of that week I ran (surprise, surprise!) 20 minutes
non-stop!!! Unfortunately, I didn’t turn on my Nike+ band and I didn’t know how far
I ran or anything… I estimated some kilometers but they were not accurate
though. Anyway…
Yesterday I started my 7th week of training,
which means I have to run 25 minutes non-stop three times this week. Ahhhh!!! You can’t imagine all the things I was thinking while
running… I was mad because I had a fight with my boyfriend and I almost didn’t
run that day. But I decided to run and I cleared my mind and relaxed a bit, in
the end I wasn’t mad anymore and the most important was that I realized I can
run 27 minutes non-stop. I had some ups and downs in my rhythm but anyway I am
faster now! I am very happy, nobody
and nothing can stop me now. I am in a good path now. The truth is that around minute 23 I was about to quit
because I felt my but, thigh and calves burning but I didn’t stop and I
finished!
The greatest thing is that my boyfriend wants to start running with me and that
makes me very happy. I hope he can and that he keeps up with my rhythm soon!
The second great thing is that I ran 5 laps in the park I began running and
that’s incredible because when I started I couldn’t even run 1 lap.I felt amazing. I felt lots of energy. I feel like nobody or anything
can make me fail like I was feeling by mid-week 6th. It doesn’t matter how stressed, mad or sad I feel, if
I run I have to finish because I have to…
I have to admit that I was
very disappointed and about to quit… but I didn’t let me. Some of you know that
speaking about my job things haven’t been very well lately and that is making
me feel down. But I am running and I will not stop thinking about me.
Last week I also visited my
psychologist and talking with her is great for me, she has helped me more than
I ever imagined. She told me: “It is great that you’re doing something for you” Yes, since
my father got sick in March I forgot about me, AGAIM… it is terrible to see how
suddenly you are the last one in your list of priorities. Anyway, now I didn’t
let that feeling to stop me and I decided to continue running with more energy
than ever.
I am thinking about running a
5k race soon. I hope to do it in 3 weeks from now that I finish my training. I
am looking for a race and I hope to find one soon. After
running 30 minutes non-stop or 5 k I will start training for 8k and then I am
planning to run 10k by the end of the year.
I didn’t write for a while but now you know why… Also I
am not able to do it from the office anymore… I will tell you more about this
week later… I will be tired but happy for sure! :)
PS: I am not writing more about my job issues because invasion to privacy is
one of their main worries! Well, but everything will get better soon!
I almost forget! On September 15th Mexico celebrates its Independence
Day (this year was especially important because we celebrate the 200
anniversary) So, I went running on Septemeber 16th … As I was
expecting the streets and the park were empty. Not even a girl running… there
were only old men running and one of them saw me and gave me two thumbs up and
a smile. I felt awesome, almost like if he was thinking “She is not lazy and
she did wake up to run”… this made smile the whole race!!!
Well, this Monday I began the 4th week of
my training. This means that I am almost half way through the whole training
for the 5k. Yesterday, for the first time, I reached the 4k (2.5 mi)
walking-running and I didn’t even notice. There was a moment when I had a pace of 6’27’’, which I think is
incredible!!! I am very happy because despite there are times when I just want
to stop, I keep on going and finish the playlist. I am very happy and I hope to
finish this week making my pace faster, which in average has been of 9’10’’ and
when I started it was 12…
On Monday I saw an old men running and running while I was walking and
running. He ran so natural that I really felt ashamed and excited. I felt
ashamed because how can a man 30 years older than me have better physical
condition than I do… (I think this is actually envy). But I also felt excited
because I hope to run like him very soon… Yesterday, I went running again
because I am not going to be able to run today but I will continue running one
day and one day not. I read about Streakers (not the naked ones, the ones that
run every day) and they tend to have several injuries. So, I will not screw
things up and continue with my rhythm.
I noticed yesterday that there is a part in the park where I run that I
really like (which is also the most difficult). It is a light slope and in the
back of the path there are only a few trees and some building and you have an
excellent view of the sky. I went there
yesterday in the afternoon (cause definitely I’m not a morning person) and I
watched the dawn and it was beautiful. The sky was purple and black because it
was about to rain. I loved that! I
tried to take a picture of it but I couldn’t do both, run or take the picture
lol… I took one but I took the sidewalk and a car lol… When I run in the
morning I can see the sunrise and everything looks orange. So, it doesn’t
matter the time I love to run in that part of the park.
I also noticed that I run in the contrary direction that everybody runs in
that park… They all look at me very funny, like if I am weird. I don’t think
there is a rule in what direction to run, I don’t know. But according to me if
you run in the direction I go you can exercise more because of the light slope
I was telling you… well, they are the crazy ones lol…
Anyway, I do not want to get bored with the place where I run. I will try to
look for other places during the weekend and maybe I will go to a place called
“El Sope” in the middle of Chapultepec Forest here in the city with a friend of
mine from the office to make things more interesting.
I'm disappointed on myself! Well, not so much but a bit... i have been managing to wake up early to run for the last three weeks but on Friday and today again there was no way i could do it. On Friday i ran in the afternoon around 6 pm or so. And today i could not get up early i was soooooo tired and i really didn't think of anything else but sleep... I don't like that!!! I am thinking about going to run in the afternoon after getting home from work but i'm not sure yet... I hate this feeling of losing my boost or mojo or whatever regarding exercise. I have to win it back because otherwise i think i am going to fail, again... However, during the weekend i exercised enough though i didn't run... Pffff!!! I have to do something to get up early or run in the afternoon after work.... for now, i will go to the park after work... I have to be honest, i didn't behave at all this weekend... (like a friend of mine says) i think my inner Fat Girl is striking me back and does not want to let me go. I have to beat her some how and continue with the mojo i had for the last couple of weeks!!!! Sniffff!!! I won't let her win!!! I just have to focus!!!!
Ok, dunno what happened! I weighed in yesterday and the scale said i have 200 grams more... I think it is because i am in my period... and i am bloated and retaining liquids. I hope is that because i have been behaving with my intakes, however, i didn't do as much exercise as i did last week. Maybe the combination of both... I hate feeling tired and sleepy during this time of the month because i don't want to do anything but to stay in bed and sleep
Anyway, i ran on Monday and yesterday. I will make some body jam today in the afternoon and i will definitely run this Friday and one day during the weekend. Today i am going to a dermatologist because since i've been sweating like a cow i have rash in my back and dunno what it is. I think my skin is dry because of all the sweating and showers... but anyway let's see what the doctor has to say about it.
Well, this is the image of my third week start for 5 k... Today it was my farthest run and i passed from the yellow (49km) level to the orange level of Nike +. To pass the orange level i have to run 199 km... let's see when do i reach this!!! Hope it will be very soon!!!
My dad is doing better and he is out from the hospital!!! I hope he follows the doctor's recommendations this time because he is very stubborn!!! Anyway, he is out and i hope he get's better now! I feel better also because i started to get a guilty feeling because i didn't go over where he is... you know, silly thoughts... I am feeling better now and I am focusing on the positive side of everything... I need to stop thinking in negative things...
Today I started my 3rd week for the 5k and i feel fine... the last part of the interval training was hard!!! but i made it at the end! I don't know if i can start running everyday or if i have to continue running only 3 or 4 times a week... If you have tips, your are more than welcome to write! One thing i've noticed is that i'm having huge cravings!!! You have no idea!!! i have to eat celery or something to stop them but it is hard!!!
Anyway, i didn't go to the office today because a surveillance man died in the facilities... It's sad how in just a few minutes everything changes... The entire office staff had to go back to their homes because the police and other authorities forbid the entrance. I hope he didn't suffer...
Well, this week must be better and i hope it finishes the same way.
Good week to you all and thanks for all your positive thoughts and support!!!
Well, my dad was admitted at the hospital and he continues there. i haven't been able to talk with him since Thursday but i have talked with my aunt. She said he had an endoscopy (4th one in less than 4 months). She told me he was doing better and that he's stable. My brother left yesterday and now he is there with him, though i don't have any updates until now. We are expecting news from the doctors to see if he can travel soon to Mexico City and receive better attention here. I didn't go because we have to save some money in case we can bring him any time of the next week but i feel like i'm doing anything... i feel like he could think i don't care what's happening.... This situation has been so hard since April... i feel so sad and that's how i've been feeling since this all started. I just want my daddy to get well... i will call my brother and see if i have more news....
Well, my uncle called and told my brother and me that my father is going to the hospital... again... this is the third time this year. It seems he's not as bad as the last time but it is serious....
My father lives in another state like 5 hours away from the city where i live. My brothers and i hardly see him. it was not like this in the past but recent events and discoveries have made things this way.
Fortunately, we have an aunt that lives in the same city as him and she is helping him. He is now in the Emergency Room and my uncle and aunt say he looks better than the last time...
Anyway, obviously I can't sleep... dunno what to do.
My boyfriend came and bought something for dinner and I ate more than I needed to.... I'm always eating to "feel" better and now I have stomach ache.
My father has a liver condition and he has been under observation since April... The doctor said he was doing better but now he is at the hospital again.
I feel very upset, sad and frustrated.
I just want this night to be over and to have good news in the morning. i know I cannot do anything from here and i have to wait.
I hate this situation 'cause it has been very difficult for everybody. I will try to calm down and think only positive things. I hope to have good news in the morning.
Well, I just have to express this. I am very upset
but it has nothing to do with my weight. The thing is that yesterday I crashed my
car. It wasn’t a big thing but I feel very stupid because it was a very dumb
way to crash it. Anyway, it needs to be fixed though it is just a scratch it
looks bashed… grrr!!! I hate to have this type of accidents and it is just
because of my lack of concentration. I got angry with my family just a few
minutes after and then… bam! I crash into another car. I am all right and I know that’s
what’s important. But since that happened I have to admit I’ve been very hungry…
I don’t know maybe that’s how I (subconsciously) pretend to feel better. Bah! I’ll
focus and avoid eating things I do not need now. I know it’s just a material
thing but now let’s see how much will it take me to fix it.
, well, let's start over again. Go back to basics, eating well, run, enjoy....
... i will try to do it more often... 
(like a friend of mine says) i think my inner Fat Girl is striking me back and does not want to let me go. I have to beat her some how and continue with the mojo i had for the last couple of weeks!!!!
I hope he follows the doctor's recommendations this time because he is very stubborn!!! Anyway, he is out and i hope he get's better now! I feel better also because i started to get a guilty feeling because i didn't go over where he is... you know, silly thoughts... I am feeling better now and I am focusing on the positive side of everything... I need to stop thinking in negative things...