DP says 1711 calories today.  Grrr....

Late start breakfast, 1/4 c granola with 2% milk and a drizzle of honey

Michelinas Salisbury Steak and potatoes dinner with 1 cup frozen peas

1 cup grapfruit sections

Olive Garden salad and not quite half of a portion of chicken alfredo. 

It's criminal how much salt and calories they pack into their entrees.  The chicken alfredo is 1400 calories and 2000+ mg of sodium.  Next time I will go with either just salad or have the salmon, which is 510 calories and looked so much healthier with the steamed broccoli and peppers on the side, and is what my son in law had. 

Because we went to dinner, I did not go to the gym today.  And because it was snowing when I got up, I did not go for my morning walk, either.  I passed up two offers of sweets at work and put away the chocolate bar that was left on my desk. 

A meeting with my manager today was both good and frustrating.  I had some suggestions for our upcoming team meeting, which he shot down completely in his usual fashion.  His attitude when I make suggestions is that I don't need to worry about such things, he will take care of it.  I asked him for specific input for increasing my month end scores for this month and he talked around it for about 60 seconds.  He said I was doing "a great job", and that the only way to increase any of my leadership scores would be for the team stats to rise, since he feels that every single one of my scores is directly related to team stats as a whole and have nothing to do with me.  Essentially he gave me no answer.  Anyway, in January and February some team stats rose and others fell, so he felt the months were a wash.  And then he put on his jacket and went home.  My meeting lasted 3 minutes.  Sigh...

So the only direction I have for this month is related to a specific rep, and I have been told my job is to ensure her stats meet quota, no excuses tolerated.  I think it can be done, one call at a time, but the price is that I have very little time to do the rest of my job and help the other 8 people on the team.   The joys of coaching. 

DP says 1084 calories for the day.  I am pleased with much of how today went. 

Alarm went off at 6:30 and I was tired and turned it back off.  Up at 8 a.m.  I would really like to do better with this. 

By myself - (good job, me!) -  I went for two laps around the track and ran/jogged more than half of the time.  The battery to my pedometer died.  It may be cheaper to buy a new pedometer than a new battery.  And it may be more accurate.  I am considering what to do. 

Home and fixed 2 eggs with a cup of steamed spinach.  It was too much to eat.  After this I will scramble a single egg, or just add a second yolk.  I did some research into the nutrition in eggs and most of it is in the yolks. 

Did a load of laundry (towels) and ran the dishwasher.  The dishes seem to keep piling up lately. 

My daughter is stopping by tomorrow at some point with a bed.  I need to get the upstairs room cleared out. 

Packed my lunch for work.  My plan to purchase dressing, chicken, and some hardboiled egg was almost perfect.  They had no eggs.  I have decided to hardboil my own at home, four eggs at a time, and use just the yolks.  The cost of what I did purchase:  $1, and my lunch was much better than if I had put it all together at home.  I also ate most of my raw veggies.  Cucumber, radishes, carrots.  I didn't get to my grapefruit. 

Home around 8:40 and changed for the gym.  Even though it was snowing.  Partly because I was out of salad fixings for tomorrow and the grocery store is next to the gym.  So I went, and I went 2.25 miles in 33 minutes and ran at 5.0 and even at 6.0 for a few minutes.  I was pleased with me.  I could see my reflection in a mirror at the opposite end of the gym and it was motivating.  Nothing but treadmill. 

Wandered around the grocery store for probably 20 minutes looking for healthy convenient choices.  Did you know that a Marie Calendars pot pie is nearly 700 calories?  I picked two frozen dinners, a head of romaine, 3 bananas, a cucumber, and some cottage cheese. 

I am watching Hoarders.  It is late and I need to get to bed.  Morning awaits. 

Oh, one of my teammates gave me a chocolate cupcake on my way out the door.  It is figured into my calories but it is sitting on the kitchen table, uneaten.  I might be able to throw it in the trash tomorrow. 

I want to feel good again.  Physically, mentally, emotionally.  I want to wear all the cute clothes I purchased last summer that don't fit any more.  I want to feel beautiful and young and healthy. 

I want to allow myself to feel once more.  Because I shut myself down last fall with all the D nonsense. 

I miss him again today.  I wanted to text him, head over to his apartment so I could feel his arms wrapped around me, laugh at his dry sense of humor and hear him say, " oh, really..."   I am going to ignore it.  He has no capacity to love or have a healthy relationship.  Remember this.  Spending time with him causes me extreme anxiety. 

Let's have a really good day tomorrow.  Get lots of typety typety done.  I have a ride to the office two hours earlier than normal.  Don't forget to be ready for work at 1:10.  And tomorrow, see if you can refrain from dropping the salad on the floor. 

Bets on whether I will go for my walk in the morning in the snow:  50/50.  If it isn't icey I will go. 

8 am walk 1 lap

Slim fast, strawberries. 

Lunch:  Salad with eggs and chicken.  more strawberries. 

Gym, 2 miles in 30 minutes. 

1/4 cup granola with milk and honey

DP says 808 calories for the day.  Nice. 

D came trolling my desk again today.  Would I go to break with him.  We chatted about nothing.  He asked what my evening plans were, I told him I was headed to the gym.  He wanted to know with whom.  My water bottle and iPod...  

Finally a day that wasn’t too bad.   Up at 6:30 for a mile in the early morning light.  We did just a single lap, it was cold.  Home and went back to bed for … 3 hours …  Yikes!  I did some chakra clearings.  A shower, a slim fast, and typety typety until 1:30.  Off to work with a hot pocket and 1/2 cup of grapefruit sections.   Home at 8, charged my iPod and off to the gym in the rain.  2 miles on the treadmill.  Home to prep salad and fruit for tomorrow.  Heated a chicken cordon bleu from the fridge and a big salad with a bit of cheese and dressing.  It was too big of  a salad and too much chicken.  I could have used half, and had another meal in the first part of the day. 

I was told that management feels I have excellent potential to be a coach and my TL is going to a new hire team for two months.  Our current coach will become acting TL and I will become acting coach.  I welcome the challenge and the opportunity to try out the position in May. 

I did not talk to D today.  But I wanted to tell him about the coaching position.  No.  I will not.  Wait till it happens, till I am doing it.  Then…maybe.  

Now that it isn’t yesterday any more I had the last piece of oatmeal cake.  Yum. 

My latest grandbaby will be born end of May or so it sounds.  My daughter is a high risk pregnancy as a Juvenile diabetic so she will be coming to SLC to be induced.