I haven't been here in quite a while.. Seems everything has changed for me..
I'm down a total of 93 pounds from my heaviest weight, and with that has come so much more than I expected... I was prepared to have a different view of myself, but I wasn't really prepared for the way the world would look at me differently.. Its like there is a whole different set of expectations, now that I'm NOT fat.. I don't know if this makes any sense or not...
I certainly get alot more attention now - its not easy to hide like I used to - though at the time I didn't realize that i was doing it.. Before, if I didn't take the time to spruce myself up, no-one noticed.. Now, everyone notices everything - sometimes I feel like I"m on display or something.. "Are you tired today?" "your hair looks different" "not wearing any make-up today?" Its like my whole life has just entered the public view..
Yet, I still have a distorted image of myself.. I just can't seem to get it through my head that I'm actually this small.. I'm forever purchasing things too big.. I end up getting all my pants from my little sister, because even when I try to buy, I end up buying too big.. I can walk into the store, full well knowing that I need a size 10, yet when I pick them up, they look too small..
How long before I am able to see myself as others dO?
Well, I must admit, I'm doing pretty well adding in the exercise this week... I've walked (2.4 mi.) twice (as well as the other extra walking I'm trying to get in) and have done Turbo Jam plus my Ab Ripper 100 once. Its likely that I'll walk again tonight as well! I'm excited about having another good weigh-in on Monday and again Tuesday when I see the dr...
I'm doing well with eating - I even bought a plate full of goodies from my residents at work to bring home for the family - and only ate a small bite of the peanut butter fudge... There is also a BIG basket of Easter candy still that I've been able to stay out of...
I'm getting all sorts of little compliments - Tim even told me that I'm starting to get boney LOL... I've still got a ways to go, but it feels SOO good to hear the compliments - I'm starting to turn heads.. I'm feeling MUCH better about myself and am gaining TONS of confidence...
Well, I was gonna try to post a before picture, but it wouldn't work... Maybe some other time...]
I also was given the opportunity to play on a softball league this year, so hopefully that will work out!
I LOVE THE WAY I'M feeling - I'm not falling off the wagon this time, for sure!
Well, I admit I was a little disappointed - I really wanted to see 215, but I'm better now. A loss is a loss, right! I will also admit that there were like 3 days I didn't take the phen at all, so that could have an effect, but I did workout 2 days and went dancing...
Friday night was our ladies night out again.. YES, drinking. I only had 1 sex on the beach, then switched to vodka and cranberry juice. We danced for like 3 hours straight - I give that the credit for the loss in my hips and thighs -LOL.. It was SOO much fun - there were like 12 of us and we had such a blast - I can't wait to do it again! I think we are gonna try to make it a monthly thing, at least through the summer! This time there was a DJ and he played anything and everything we wanted - there was a whole lot of booty shaking going on!
This week I'm going to continue to focus on adding in exercise. I want to try to find my pedometer (though I have NO idea where it went) as I'm trying to add some extra steps to my day... I'm going to keep doing the turbo jam / ab ripper and add either walking or treadmill (which ever works out!).
I go back to the doc next week, so I'd like to see another big loss for that appointment!
Well, the getting up early to exercise really hasn't worked - LOL... Both days I've rolled over and went back to sleep - thank goodness I was able to get up in time to shower and get dressed!
I did do another workout tonight - 20 minute Turbo Jam and Ab ripper 100 again. Seems to be a good workout for me - both are still tough, when I'm able to get through them without effort (or if it gets boring) I'll start to switch it up - Lord knows I have enough workout videos!
I didn't take my phen today - felt the need to go #2 and the phen makes it nearly impossible for me, so basically I have to skip it for a day in order to be able to go.. I still kept pretty much the same eating pattern without much effort, so that was pleasing. I felt a bit more tired than I have been though... NO headache from the caffiene deficiency though, so that was another plus. I'm still not drinking diet coke, doing great on my water intake though!
I'm going out again this Friday, hopefully I can find a more diet friendly drink. There will be a DJ this time, so MUCH better dancing music!
I was talking to my sister the other night and she just joined a weight loss challenge at work and they had their official weigh in... I FINALLY WEIGH LESS THAN MY SISTER!! I know, it sounds kinda terrible for me to be excited about it, but I can't think of a time that has happened before! She has always been the skinny one - I truely didn't realize how much weight she had gained - she must carry it MUCH better than I do, because I still twould have thought I was heavier...(she's only about a half inch taller than I)
Anyway, I'm kinda hoping for a 3 pound loss this week (215)!
Well, I made it through Trevor's birthday party and Easter without much trouble - I'm pretty proud of myself!
Today made my 3 week mark - here are my stats... I'm down: 20 pounds 2 sizes (I started in 22s and tight 20s and I'm now in 18s and some 16s) 1/4 inch in my neck 2 1/4 inches in my chest 3 inches in my waist 3.25 inches in my hips 1.25 inches in my thigh .75 inch in my calf
I actually gained 1/4 inch in my bicept (if I'm gonna gain, thats a good place to do it! LOL - they are definately getting more shapely with less flab)
Thus far my efforts have all been in the eating department. From this point on, I'm going to start to add some extercise. Today I did a 20 minute Turbo Jam routine and the Power 90 AbRipper 100. i'm hoping to get up early and do a half hour of exercise before I shower and go to work - I'm going to try tomorrow, so we'll see how that works out!
It's been a few days since I've posted.. Things were going kinda crazy around here. I wound up going to day shift early, so I'm geting used to that. Then my sister kinda wierded out at work and was taken to the hospital by ambulance - she is ok now, thank GOD!
I'm approaching the three week mark and I'm starting to feel different. My eating is taking much less effort - I'm not as tempted to eat unhealthy as I was previously... I eat many similar things - lots of fresh fruits, salads, lean quisine / healthy choice / michealina's light entrees, lite n fit yogurt, lean turkey / chicken breast, plain popcorn, dole fruit popcicles, jello popcicles, soup at hand.... i know I should steer away from the prepackaged stuff, and eventually I hope to do that, but right now its convenient to just grab and go - makes lunch at work really easy...
In addition, I haven't had diet coke in nearly a week - been drinking TONS of water and some diet 7-up, still pop, but no caffiene..
More people are noticing my weight loss too. so that is making me feel good. I'm losing inches in my waist and hips - where I really NEED to lose it! My face is also slimming down - my dimples are starting to pop out again.. I'm going to the tanning bed as well, so my stretch marks are even fading. I'm really liking the way things are shaping up!
I'm really hoping to be under 220 at my weigh-in on Monday, so wish me luck! I'll post then, if not before.
Tomorrow is my son's birthday - he's turning 6, hard to believe. It makes me sad every year, I wish I could keep him small. He's becoming such an independant little person! We are having his party at a bowling alley, with pizza and cake and ice cream - I'll probably have a small piece of pizza and a bite of cake, but we'll see - I may just be too busy wrangling all the kids! The following day is Easter, so I'll be avoiding the candy then, for sure!
YEAH! I made my 15 pound mark! I had a really good meeting with my dr - he's feeling really good about my progress, as am I! I go to see my other dr. tomorrow (for my antidepressent meds) and I'm excited about his reaction to my weight loss....
I also went to the salon and had my hair cut and highlighted, my eyebrows waxed and tanned... I'm really feeling good about myself today! I'm turning into a new person!
I've got to get some sleep - its been a long day with only about 3 hours of sleep and I've got a long night ahead of me. ONLY 4 more nights before I go to days!
Thanks for the comments, the encouragment really helps!
Just time for a quick post... I had to work a 12 hour shift last night (yes, after feeling a little rough from that girls night out) so I've pretty much slept all day.. Only have about a half hour before I have to go back to work... Only 5 more night on this shift!
Tomorrow I go back to the doctor to weigh in, wish me luck! I'll definately write when I get home (I've got to take my measurements too).. I'm hoping to hit the 15 mark!
Well, i went out for a ladies night last nigh - unfortunately not very health friendly. I have cheese and crackers, a half order of french fries and drank a little too much alcohal.... But I did dance a good part of the night, so I'm hoping that burned some of the unwanted calories from all those drinks!
It was definately fun - something I've needed for a while - to go out with my girlfriends... We weren't too impressed with the band (blues) but we still managed to be goofy and have a good time... we are going for a repeat performance in 2 weeks - my sister's birthday just happens to fall on FRIDAY THE 13TH... SPOOKY! the bar is going to have a DJ that night, so definatley a LOT more music we can dance too!
I go back to the dr. on Monday, so I'm just hoping that I won't regret the whole drinking thing then... As far as the scale - I'm up 2 pounds from yesterday morning... I know that's not completely accurate because 1) I'm holdin a ton of water from the drinks, 2) I started my monthly and always show a gain then 3) I'm pretty positive that though I didn't have the best day, I didn't have 7000 unburned calories 4) I'm feeling like I need to use the bathroom #2, which I only do every 3-4 days on these meds.... so, we'll see when it comes time for my official weigh in.
I got the official letter today - I'm so excited - I'm feeling like things are really going my way... I have 1 more week on midnights then I start on days on April 8th. I'll lose my 75 cent shift differential, but in the end it will all be worth it!
