My truth. My struggle. My goals.

I can't do this alone.

My Profile

  • Name: TattooedSoul
  • City: Lakeland
  • Region: Florida
  • Country: United States

My Weight Loss

Height: 175.3cm
Start weight: 266.00lb
Current weight: 242.50lb
Goal weight: 190.00lb
Lost to date: 23.50lb
Remaining: 52.50lb

My Calendar

27
May '12
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My Photos

Before After

Eat Fresh!

I am treating my agents to Subway tomorrow. I ordered 6 subs and requested they be cut into thirds so I can make a party tray. My team has the highest stats in this new department. They deserve something nice!
 
I rode 7 miles on the bike at the gym tonight. Whoot! I was very proud of myself. The last two nights in a row I have only made it to 4 miles before wanting to collapse. I'm using the medium incline. Using the bike saves my feet from more pain :) I had surgery years ago on my left foot, and I still can't feel my toe. I can feel the pain but I can't pin-point where it's coming from. Needless to say I won't be having surgery on the right foot now. No thank you!
 
I know I've got a great chance at winning this weight loss contest at work... I can feel it! The only disadvantage I have is not being able to lose a lot of water weight since I was already working out and dieting before the contest began. Eh, more of a challenge!
 
Three more weeks (to the day) until I get a Wii. YAY!!!!!

Plans and Promises

After reading Titaniastar's blog today I was inspired to make my own motivational list... things I want to achieve on this weight loss journey, besides my waist size.
 
I want to be....
 
...less paranoid. I would love to go shopping or out with friends without thinking people are staring, and not because I am cute. "She's large... I never want to be as big as her... why isn't she skinnier like her friends..."
 
... comfortable wearing a belt. I don't want to feel my fat stomach hanging over the metal clasp. Not pleasant!
 
... more confident at the pool. I don't want to try to hide my arms with a towel wrapped around me, or position the chair just right where my stomach doesn't look bigger than it really is.
 
... sexually dominant, which requires seeing myself sexier. Ugh. This will be a tough one! Vince already thinks I am sexy, but men don't understand. Love handles aren't considered curves!!!
 
... in love with myself. Not having to feel guilty about decisions I make means making good decisions.
 
... able to wear high heals and not feel like a clown. I want to dress up and go out. I bought a pair of high heels last month, but I look like a brick house on stilts. I don't think I walk like a woman with all of this extra weight.
 
...  healthy enough to have regular menstral cycles. I was diagnossed (at my heaviest weight) with endometriosis. After I lost 20lbs I had two regular monthly cycles. I was SO excited! Then I stopped eating health... and my cycles stopped. Ugh. That is my biggest motivation. Vince and I tried to have children for over two years. The fertility meds made me pysco! No luck. In the back of my mind I think I will be able to carry a child if I'm healthier, without medication.
 
We'll see how my journey unfolds!

CASIO SGW200-1V PEDOMETER RESIN STRAP MENS WATCH

I was up until 6:30am (which isn't super late since I work until midnight) comparing pedometer watches. I've been eyeing one on eBay for a week now, but I wanted to be sure it was the one for me.... and it was :)
 
It has the pedometer, stop watch, calories burned, clock, alarms, etc. I am SOOOO excited!!! It is a men's watch, but I don't care. I'm a big woman anyhow, so I don't think it will look bad on me. Besides, the fashion now is wearing a "boyfriend" watch, so maybe I will look cool. LOL. 
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Confidence

I always knew I would diet again (stopped last Sept. when we moved). I never doubted my desire to look smokin' hot in the mirror. LOL. I am just so proud of the way I got back on the horse without many complaints! DH (Vince) is very supportive, thank goodness! I can't want to go to the park with him, hopefully this weekend. I am still waiting on my knee and wrist pads in the mail. They were shipped from the US early last week, so I am hoping to have them soon.
 
I am officially addicted to the generic brand (no shame about our budget!) Special K and berries!!! I have 1.5 cups with a whole banana in the mornings. The next step is to switch to skim milk... uck.
 
I changed my goal weight. My initial goal was to loose 30lbs, but when I started getting close to that goal and not seeing a huge change, I decided to stop lying and post my real goal. I would LOVE to be 190lbs again. I was 14 yrs old the last time I was under 200lbs. Ah, to be a size 12 again :) I started a size 20, and I am down to a 16 now. Whoot! I can only see a change in my face, though, and not much.
 
Tomorrow's goal is to wake up a few hours early and use the complex's gym while the office is still open. I get home from work at midnight, and to get into the gym after hours you have to have a $40 key. Hopefully I can afford that this Friday. I'd rather work out inside with this chilly weather.
 
Oh, and I wore my pedometer for the first time in months today! I walked 6,500 steps. It's higher than average because I had school today, too. My average with working out used to be 8,000. I'm proud just the same:)

With a little help from my friends.

I got promoted last November to a floor manager, so I have my own team now. Last night my team asked me to start a weight loss contest. We will start Feb 1st and end April 1st. Whoever looses the highest body weight percentage wins the pot. Each person who enters must pay $10. The pot is at $90 right now. I am totally excited!
 
I did excellent today. I didn't overeat, and I worked out on my Rockin' Roller on the easy level. Vince went grocery shopping today and picked up a lot of healthy food for us. It cost more, but he managed to still stay under budget... even with buying my Special K Chololate cereal for desert. Yummy!!!
 
If it's warm enough tomorrow I want to either sunbathe or walk the trails at the local park. Today was overcast with spits of rain. Ugh. I didn't go outside once. Shame on me.
 
I can hear our fat cat crying at the door. Let me go open it for him. Goodnight!

Hunger Pains

We haven't been grocery shopping in three weeks now, and last time we went we bought one week's worth of groceries. You can imagine the dust in our pantry. I am SO hungry! My car was in the shop for two weeks this month. After $1,700 I have a new axle and a rebuilt transmission. UGH!!! That bill after Christmas is what's killing us. I am trying to tattoo more after work and on weekends for extra cash, but now that school is back in I am finding myself very tired.
 
I have school from 11:45am-3pm Mon and Wed. I work 4pm-midnight Mon-Fri with rotating weekends. Add tattoo clients to that mix and it makes one tired chick! LOL.
 
Listen to me... hah. I am just venting.
 
I am finally using my Tony Little Rock n' Roller. I bought it at the HSN Outlet for $15 last Sepember. I've seen it on eBay for $50. It's a lot of fun! It has taught me that I don't have much ballance. LOL. The videos say to use it every other day, so that's what I shall do. I want to start walking again, too. I really miss it. I just don't want to walk in 50 degree weather! I am a Floridian! I need heat!!!
 
I won the bid on eBay for the wrist and knee pads, so when they arrive I can rollerblade the trails at Lake Parker Park. Yay! I've had these rollerblades for 3 yrs. Yes, I am a procrastinator. But that's another reason I have EP. To get me up off my tush! Heh.
 
Getting ready for work. If there's down time at work tonight I will make a new grocery list.... a healthier list, instead of all carbs and fat. Speaking of which, I was thinking about giving up one food each month, to prove to myself I can live without it. Some idea to help me eat better. Hmm... what should I give up in Feb?

Back in the saddle again...

I haven't been dieting for 4 months. I guess my metabolism caught up with me, because I didn't gain any weight. As of yesterday I am back to eating salad, counting calories, and working out.
 
I've owned rollerblades for 3 years now, but I have yet to use them. I just bid on wrist and knee pads on eBay. I would love to rollerblade through the park trails, listening to my iPod as I enjoy nature. Yeesssss.
 
Between work, school, and tattooing, I am finding it hard to make an honest workout schedule, but I am super motivated! I am SO close to my first weight loss goal that I can taste it. Less than 15lbs to go! But it won't stop there.
 
Off to work I go!

Home sick.... sick AND tired!

I stayed home sick today. I have been sick for a couple of days now. Starting late last night, my hips and waist started to ache, like I was badly bruised. I mean, I am having trouble sitting on the toilet, for goodness sakes!
 
I bought the Leslie Sansone Walk at Home workout DVD, as recoomended to me by a fellow EP member. I am getting ready to try it now for the first time. I am hoping the moving around will have me feeling better by tomorrow.
 
Yesterday was the half way weigh in at work for the weight loss contest. There is $70 in the winner's pot, and I currently have the lead with 5lbs lost in one month. Not everyone is trying. I mean, these people eat McDonalds at their desk all day. Whatever, I will take the winnings, no problem! I gained 3lbs over the weekend. I know it's from all the soda and carbs... and it hasn't stopped raining yet. Grr. That's why I bought this DVD.
 
I have been SO stressed lately, too. I am officially a college student again, which I am loving. We are also trying to move into a larger, cheaper home, and Vince's hours at work are being cut. My face is broke out like a greesy teenager, and I just feel frumpy. Woe is me.
 
Okay, getting my ass off this couch now... promise!
 
Oh, and a quick congrats to my sister for getting the job at Citi Group! Way to go!!!! She is my biggest motivator for going back to college. Thank you, Amy!

Rain, rain... go away!

I haven't been walking in a week. It's been raining EVERY DAY. I am shocked that Florida hasn't flodded, broken off the states, and floated away in the Atlantic Ocean. Damnit. I am taking my work out clothes again with me to work today with a small hope it won't be raining at 9pm when I leave.
 
I made my first weight goal yesterday.... I am back in the 240's. Well, 249 to be exact. I haven't been this weight in over 5 years. My rings don't fit my fingers anymore. I wasn't prepared for that! People at work are noticing how baggy my pants are, too. Woo hoo!!!
 
That's all the time I have now. I hope everyone has an awesome, dry day!

Overwhelming To Do List

Another day at work and another set of nerves walked on. Ugh! Tough day… seriously. I have been weighing in steady at 253 lately, which is awesome! I was stuck in a 256 rut for over two weeks for a while. I cut my portions even more and added more fruit. Yummy! Lately it’s been grapes and carrots.

This Week’s To Do List:

  • Make a weight loss calendar for the fridge.
  • Organize the magnets on the fridge. Maybe add some weight loss motivational signs.
  • Move the litter box from the kitchen to the bathroom.
  • Clean off the entertainment center.
  • Organize the corner of the living room where the cat tower and recliner are.
  • Clean out the fridge. Old leftovers need to be thrown away!
  • Clean off the couch.
  • Put clean clothes away.
  • Change the pillow cases.
  • Sweep the porch, including the walls and ceiling.
  • Make a weekly food list, so I know what I will be eating every day, leaving less room for cheating.
  • Make a monthly exercise calendar, leaving less room for excuses.
  • Research how to warm up 5 mins before walking.
  • Post a weight loss goal. Example: Loose 10 lbs and buy new walking shoes!
  • Buy Vince’s shirt off eBay.
  • Look for a new scale on eBay, since mine has become the office scale.
  • Make a fun and colorful grocery list for the fridge, so Vince knows what I want each week. (I never go grocery shopping.)
  • Clean the bathroom…. Seriously. It’s time.
  • Make a pros and cons list for moving to New Jersey.
  • Look up music from the band Rise Against.

Well, if I didn’t feel overwhelmed before, I sure do now! I’m about to leave work and go walking. I hope the rain holds off. The lake is 3 miles long, so if I get stuck half way around guaranteed I will be soaked!

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