Midnight workout.

(-.-) I woke up feeling lousy. I was kind of achy and just blah. So I decided to skip the gym. I had a terrible dream last night about R, and the fact that I hadn't heard from him in about two weeks mad matters worse for me. He never replied to my texts the night before and then this morning I sent him a text telling him that I was worried. Waited for about an hour or two, while both Crystal and Misty kept telling me to just call him. That came with a big cloud of anxiety because I have this fear of calling him and his number being disconnected. It's happened before when we got into a huge fight, so yeah. But it rang its usual rings when no one picks up and vmail answered so I left a message. Feeling a bit better about things, I logged into SP & WW to look up calorie and points. Wrote things down, and then I got even more motivated somehow and ended up packaging snacks into servings. Haha, you should see my picture of snack bags full of wheat thins. Every bag has 16 crackers.  And every bag says "2 PTS -- 130 CAL"

So I was feeling a bit better until I called X. Tomorrow (Today, Monday) is my day off and well it's been about a week since we hung out. But he said he was pretty much booked until the weekend because school starts and he's working. And I got really upset and hung up quickly and just balled my eyes out. Things are changing and I guess I always feel like once things change, I lose everyone. And I don't know. He doesn't call anymore to see how I'm doing and I just feel like I'm losing him and he's one of my best friends. So I kind of went into one of those- I hate the world, I'm better off alone, I don't want to get hurt. And thank goodness Misty was there to talk to me. She pointed out some things that seem to be right. Then R came online and buzzed me. Oy, I think I just worry too much about everything. I guess apparently he started working and I don't know anything really. It was really brief, but when I asked about him not replying, he said he was switching to Verizon. (That trader-- no offense to anyone out there.) Anywho, so I was feeling a bit better, and started to regret about not going to the gym this morning. But I kept telling myself that I just have to watch what I eat.

I did well before work:

1- bean & cheese burrito - 5 pts /240 cal
1- medium banana (7"-7 7/8" -- yes, I did use my measuring tape LOL) - 1.5 pts / 109 cal
1 snack bags- wheat thins (ate an extra bag today because I was feeling very emotional) - total of 4 pts / 260 cal

So yeah, I was proud of myself. At work, I get 3-20 minute breaks. I usually eat "meals" every break. Which is terrible.

During work:

First Break: 1 pouch- 100 Calorie Right Bites - 2 pts / 100 cal  & diet coke

Second Break: I planned to eat a salad or not even eat anything all, but I saw that they had salisbury steak, green beans, fried rice, fried shrimp, and mashed potatoes! I couldn't resist... UGH. But I only had a little scoop of everything and refrained from going for seconds. Then I had diet coke too....    SO yeah, after eating all that, I CRASHED. I could barely keep my eyes open, my arms and legs felt heavy, and I just wanted to stand there and sleep. It was really bad. And I regretted eating all that.

Third Break: I had my 2nd snack bag of wheat thins and some diet coke. I also made sure to bring my book to keep my eyes from wandering over to the food bar. Haha, it worked. (:

So yeah, after my third break I was feeling a little bit better. More energized, but I think I was just exhausted overall. I couldn't stop laughing!!! So yeah.

By the time I got home (which was about 1:20am), I was beat, but I felt guilty. So, I went for my midnight workout. On my way there (it takes 20-30 minutes) I was tired and kept saying that I should just go home and sleep. But then I pushed that aside and said I was gonna do it. I grabbed magazines when I walked in to keep my mind occupied.

Bike:
- Cardio program for 15 minutes + 3 minute cool down. (Total 18 minutes)
- Target heart rate 128
- Distance was 6.47
- 98 calories burned

Treadmill:
- Fat burn program 30 minutes + 5 minute cool down (Total 35 minutes)
- Target heart rate 128
- Average speed 3.0
- Distance was 1.62
- 205 calories burned

I was a bit disappointed on my calorie burning, but I was tired too. I must've had energy because my target heart rate was easily reached (& constant) on the lowest intensity- both bike & treadmill. I wasn't dripping sweat either, but I did sweat a little bit. My legs felt good though. I could feel my butt getting it's workout on the treadmill and my calves were feeling good on the bike. Now, I just gotta work on my belly.

While on the treadmill I did read that Carrie Underwood workouts 6 days a week, at least 30 minutes on a treadmill or bike and does crunches on an exercise ball. It works for her, perhaps it'll work for me. But she's a vegetarian.. Oh well.

I was thinking about what X had told me before about a dream he once had. I was apparently 50 lbs lighter. Now that I think about it, when me and X met, I was 50 lbs lighter and that was 4 years ago! Oy, and even then I was about 30 lbs over weight. Hopefully it doesn't take that long for me to lose it all!

Hope everyone has a great week. I'm gonna go pass out.