one step @ a time.

just get back up when it knocks you down;

My Profile

  • Name: taralove
  • City: Seattle
  • Region: Washington
  • Country: United States

My Weight Loss

Height: 162.6cm
Start weight: 222.40lb
Current weight: 245.40lb
Goal weight: 140.00lb
Lost to date: -23.00lb
Remaining: 105.40lb

My Calendar

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September '14
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My Photos

Before After

Very productive weekend so far.

I'm getting addicted to video chat! Haha, all my girls live different parts of the US, aside from Eryn & Meghan, they live right around the corner, literally 2 min away! Anywho, Eryn is at work, Meghan, Nicole, MJ, & Chloe are all asleep! And I'm just here cleaning and getting packages ready to mail tomorrow. Errands errands, gotta love them.

Besides errands tomorrow, I've got voice lessons at 11am, massage at 12:30pm, and I've gotta visit my chiropractor either before/after voice or after 3pm. Hmm. But I'm meeting up with my friend Jessica to go to kickboxing class! I'm kind of nervous, I've never done it, and I hear it's pretty intense! Plus, I'm really out of shape, but I may be able to keep up. She's been going the past few months already, so I know she's already ahead of me. =/

Lets see. Last night/today I got a pretty good amount of cleaning done! Yay! It helps when I'm vchatting with someone or talking to them on the phone. My dog had an appt at the groomers today, I know that made his day. When I came to pick him up, they had tied a bow to his collar and he just looked so precious!

As for food wise, I did have McDonald's, but I ended up getting a mini-meal. And I was glad that I did! It filled me up. But I went to the mall with Meghan & Eryn hours later, and I had pretzels. It was yummy. After the mall, I went to water aerobics with Via. That was pretty fun. I tried to back out of it, but she said we had to go, and I'm glad that I did! I know that I will definitely be feeling it when I wake up, I'm already feeling it in my back and my shoulders! But it's the goooood kind of feeling!

Well, I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! Hopefully I will blog again soon!

April Measurements.

Eryn & I finally made it to the gym last night! I must say it is what I have been needing these past few months, I just didn't realize how much. So yes, I'm still running off that "gym high." So after gym, we went to her house and I helped her start her "fat book." Took her pics and we measured. My last body measurements on EP were from January so here are the stats.

January 2010
Neck: 15.00in  Bicep: 15.75in  Forearm: N/A  Chest: 48.00in  Waist: 48.00in  Hips: 48.50in  Thigh: 27.50in  Calf: 18.00in

April 2010
Neck: 15.00in  Bicep: 15.00in  Forearm: 12.00in  Chest: 47.00in
Waist: 49.00in  Hips: 46.00in  Thigh: 27.00in  Calf: 17.50in

Neck: -0.00in
Bicep: -0.75in
Forearm: N/A
Chest: -1.00in
Waist: -1.00in
Hips: -2.50in
Thigh: -0.50in
Calf: -0.50in

These stats definitely make me feel better. But I think I still look the same. Except for the fact that I am now one size smaller in jeans. I still have a lot to work on, and I am not going give up!

Happy Easter.

Happy Easter everyone. I hope everyone is enjoying their time with families. I wish my family was here to spend it with. I hate spending holidays alone, but I guess it helps that I gotta work on holidays too. Hmm.

Well, I'm sitting here talking to Crystal on AIM. Not too much. I finished off my box of cereal- there was just about a handful and a half left. And then had three pieces of chocolate. Then we were talking about getting motivated and she told me to start "RIGHT NOW" and I was guilty that I ate chocolate and she said, that was 5 minutes ago. She's right. So I stashed it away.

So me and Eryn have planned on going to the gym tonight. She has the night off, lucky girl. But at least I'm off at 1030pm. I'm gonna get my gym stuff together so I don't spend a lot of time finding everything. Just gonna come home, let my dog out, change my clothes, then be off to the gym. Sounds like a good plan! We are hoping she gets this new schedule she put in for, where she'd be off at 1130pm, and we'd still be able to go to the gym after she gets off work. Plus, my gym is supposedly building a gym by my work somewhere, so on the days she can't go, then I will just go to that one.

But I do hope I make it to the gym tonight. Please oh please. Even just running on the treadmill for 30 minutes is better than nothing at all.

Plans, plans, and more plans.

So, it's been.. about a month? I haven't done much because a lot had been going on. Preparing for Nicole's visit and then when she left, Misty was moving. But everything is done, and now I'm just kind of winding down. BUT, the past month I have been planning things, not just weight loss but my life too. My parents are moving back (YAY) so that will help with my expenses, which will help with debt, which will lead me to going PT at work and going back to college. Yay, I'm way excited. I'm 24 and I need to get back on track.

As for weight loss. April 1st, I weighed in at 222.0. That seems to be average these past 6 months or so. It just won't go away! But I have to admit, I have been doing more planning/wishing, more than actually getting my butt into gear. But I did manage to go from a size 18 down to a size 16! Yay for belly shrinkage! =] Mind you, these are Old Navy jeans. The only kind I wear really. But I'm happy. My goal date is July 4th (I'm going on vacation to see my parents in Guam at the end of July), and I'm hoping to be down to a 14/16.. maybe even a 12/14, but that's kind of pushing it in 3 month span. =]

I've been seeing a chiropractor and have been getting referrals for massages. Since my accident I've been having a lot of trouble with my back and my neck/shoulders. These past couple of weeks it's been more my neck/shoulders. It's to the point where I haven't been sleeping very well, and I'm so cloudy and tired through out the day I can't think straight, then I get more stressed out and upset, my shoulders start to tense up even more -- I hold stress in my shoulders, and they are inching their way up closer to my ears (eww!), I'm starting to look like a line backer. (cry)

So I'm hoping that once I make it to the gym, then I'll tire myself out where I'll be able to get a full night's sleep. I'm hoping X will come over this weekend and help me switch out beds. My bed is just too big for me (queen size), so I'm gonna switch to my old bed from when I was single which is a full size AND a pillow top! So comfy! =]

As for my plans-

I've already started a "fat  book", in which Crystal has convinced me to make. Haha, the pictures are not a pretty site! I think if anyone ever got a hold of it, especially R, I think I would DIE! But I'm excited to see my results and goals get reached as I turn the pages. Hehe. I still need to do measurements for this month. I'm already 3 days behind! Eeee~ =/

Here's the workout plan-

Sunday- Most likely rest day.
Monday- Gym.
Tuesday- Gym.
Wednesday- Gym.
Thursday- Gym, Kickboxing, Zumba, or Water Aerobics.
Friday- Gym or Kickboxing.
Saturday- Zumba or Gym.

So yeah. I think it's a good variety, and It'll keep things interesting for me. I hate doing the same thing everyday, I'm already in a set routine for work. I don't need the rest of my life to be that way. Haha.

Good thing that has happened is that I got a new schedule- Thursdays/Fridays off! Yay! I can actually go out and have fun and have a social life. Haha.

I'm gonna go read everyone's blogs and catch up. =] Good night everyone.

Hmm.. Yeah..

It's been awhile since I last blogged. Like a month. Nothing has been up, except for my weight. Haha, seriously. It keeps creeping up and I feel like I can't get rid of it. I ended up joining a local 24 hour gym. That way I can go whenever I want, and it would only take 5-10min instead of the 30min drive to the other gym. I also talked to my doctor about some weight loss options. She has me on prescribed meds and they sure are doing the trick. I feel safe taking them only because they were prescribed by her, rather than me going out to the store and buying them myself. All it is really is an appetite suppressant. It's only a 3-month program though. So we will see how it goes. Hmm, yeah that's pretty much it for now. I've got a lot on my mind but can never seem to say it to anyone, I can't even sort it through my head..

Hope you have a great week. I'll blog more later.

Midnight workout.

(-.-) I woke up feeling lousy. I was kind of achy and just blah. So I decided to skip the gym. I had a terrible dream last night about R, and the fact that I hadn't heard from him in about two weeks mad matters worse for me. He never replied to my texts the night before and then this morning I sent him a text telling him that I was worried. Waited for about an hour or two, while both Crystal and Misty kept telling me to just call him. That came with a big cloud of anxiety because I have this fear of calling him and his number being disconnected. It's happened before when we got into a huge fight, so yeah. But it rang its usual rings when no one picks up and vmail answered so I left a message. Feeling a bit better about things, I logged into SP & WW to look up calorie and points. Wrote things down, and then I got even more motivated somehow and ended up packaging snacks into servings. Haha, you should see my picture of snack bags full of wheat thins. Every bag has 16 crackers.  And every bag says "2 PTS -- 130 CAL"

So I was feeling a bit better until I called X. Tomorrow (Today, Monday) is my day off and well it's been about a week since we hung out. But he said he was pretty much booked until the weekend because school starts and he's working. And I got really upset and hung up quickly and just balled my eyes out. Things are changing and I guess I always feel like once things change, I lose everyone. And I don't know. He doesn't call anymore to see how I'm doing and I just feel like I'm losing him and he's one of my best friends. So I kind of went into one of those- I hate the world, I'm better off alone, I don't want to get hurt. And thank goodness Misty was there to talk to me. She pointed out some things that seem to be right. Then R came online and buzzed me. Oy, I think I just worry too much about everything. I guess apparently he started working and I don't know anything really. It was really brief, but when I asked about him not replying, he said he was switching to Verizon. (That trader-- no offense to anyone out there.) Anywho, so I was feeling a bit better, and started to regret about not going to the gym this morning. But I kept telling myself that I just have to watch what I eat.

I did well before work:

1- bean & cheese burrito - 5 pts /240 cal
1- medium banana (7"-7 7/8" -- yes, I did use my measuring tape LOL) - 1.5 pts / 109 cal
1 snack bags- wheat thins (ate an extra bag today because I was feeling very emotional) - total of 4 pts / 260 cal

So yeah, I was proud of myself. At work, I get 3-20 minute breaks. I usually eat "meals" every break. Which is terrible.

During work:

First Break: 1 pouch- 100 Calorie Right Bites - 2 pts / 100 cal  & diet coke

Second Break: I planned to eat a salad or not even eat anything all, but I saw that they had salisbury steak, green beans, fried rice, fried shrimp, and mashed potatoes! I couldn't resist... UGH. But I only had a little scoop of everything and refrained from going for seconds. Then I had diet coke too....    SO yeah, after eating all that, I CRASHED. I could barely keep my eyes open, my arms and legs felt heavy, and I just wanted to stand there and sleep. It was really bad. And I regretted eating all that.

Third Break: I had my 2nd snack bag of wheat thins and some diet coke. I also made sure to bring my book to keep my eyes from wandering over to the food bar. Haha, it worked. (:

So yeah, after my third break I was feeling a little bit better. More energized, but I think I was just exhausted overall. I couldn't stop laughing!!! So yeah.

By the time I got home (which was about 1:20am), I was beat, but I felt guilty. So, I went for my midnight workout. On my way there (it takes 20-30 minutes) I was tired and kept saying that I should just go home and sleep. But then I pushed that aside and said I was gonna do it. I grabbed magazines when I walked in to keep my mind occupied.

Bike:
- Cardio program for 15 minutes + 3 minute cool down. (Total 18 minutes)
- Target heart rate 128
- Distance was 6.47
- 98 calories burned

Treadmill:
- Fat burn program 30 minutes + 5 minute cool down (Total 35 minutes)
- Target heart rate 128
- Average speed 3.0
- Distance was 1.62
- 205 calories burned

I was a bit disappointed on my calorie burning, but I was tired too. I must've had energy because my target heart rate was easily reached (& constant) on the lowest intensity- both bike & treadmill. I wasn't dripping sweat either, but I did sweat a little bit. My legs felt good though. I could feel my butt getting it's workout on the treadmill and my calves were feeling good on the bike. Now, I just gotta work on my belly.

While on the treadmill I did read that Carrie Underwood workouts 6 days a week, at least 30 minutes on a treadmill or bike and does crunches on an exercise ball. It works for her, perhaps it'll work for me. But she's a vegetarian.. Oh well.

I was thinking about what X had told me before about a dream he once had. I was apparently 50 lbs lighter. Now that I think about it, when me and X met, I was 50 lbs lighter and that was 4 years ago! Oy, and even then I was about 30 lbs over weight. Hopefully it doesn't take that long for me to lose it all!

Hope everyone has a great week. I'm gonna go pass out.

Feeling empty.

Maybe I'm just tired. Or I've been hopeful for awhile and nothing is happening. I'm not just talking weight loss. Just everyday things too, like boys, work, money, school. It's all catching up to me, and surprisingly I'm not being an emotional eater.

This morning I woke up still with a slight tummyache. I texted Crystal (Crystal2105@EP/V8STANG2105@SP) and told her how I just didn't feel like getting up. But she talked to me and motivated me to get up. So I got up in time to shower before heading to WW and the gym.

WW... Was interesting. I sure did feel good about showing up. And the topic of the week was really helpful and I wish Misty (mistacious@EP/MISTICISM@SP) was there, maybe it would've been motivating to her as well. Oh well. Anywho, I weighed in and sat down. Took a look at my book... My last weigh-in (before today) was August 1, 2009 @ 222.4 lbs. Today's weigh-in- January 2, 2010 @ 224.4 lbs. How CRAZY is that? Lol. I told my friend Anthony (he's my male "support" group) and he said it was bad news, but I said that I could have been way worse, considering I was off the program for 5 months. So that was my amusement for today.

I went to the gym. Pretty much stayed on the treadmill, which is weird, I usually hate treadmills. But I put it on the cardio program for 30 minutes. My target heart rate is 158, so it kept inclining and declining. My average incline was 10, that was a killer. But once again, my face was dripping with sweat. I was feeling good. *Yay* After I finished that, I did a few crunches on this ab/back machine and then a few minutes on the rotary machine. I don't know the names. But that got me sweating a little bit- which was strange.

Idk- I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I used to be able to be on the elliptical for an hour and do 4 miles (yes, I'm slow) and not sweat as much as I do now on the treadmill. Hmm, Idk, my brain hurts, and my thought processor is broken at the moment. Hah.

Anywho, after the gym I came home to find a package from one of my BFFs. She sent Christmas cookies with my lovely gifts... I ate one and felt SOOO guilty. Especially since I just came home from the gym. The second that cookie was gone, I felt like I bloated up 5 sizes and then felt like I wasted all my time at the gym. Sooo, instead of feeling like the biggest loser and feeling discourage, I took my pup out for a short walk. Only 20 minutes and it was kind of a slow paced/laid back one. I was tired already and I would've gone longer if I didn't have to work. I didn't really sweat, but I felt just a tiny tiny tiny tiny bit better about burning off those cookie calories, but I wasn't completely satisfied.

I did go healthy grocery shopping after work today. Bought bananas, pita bread, loaf of whole wheat bread, and almond butter (yummy!). I'm still deciding on the hummus... I heard it's good for you but has an acquired taste?.. So not sure on that one.

But over all, right now, I'm feeling good. And I'm craving gym time right now, but it's 2:25 AM and I know my legs would strangle me while I'm sleeping if I did go to the gym right now. So I'll save it for tomorrow.

CRYSTAL- I bought a book today. Hah, I couldn't help it.

Recap, New Years, and more.

I've been feeling better these past few days. Thanks to encouragement and inspiration from others. *Thumbs up*

Wednesday, Dec 30, 2009- Me and Misty went to the gym. We didn't stay long, but it was long enough for me to do 35 minutes on the treadmill. I tell ya, something was going on inside of me and I was just punching negativity in the face. I started at a faster than normal pace just for walking and then I started doing 3-4 minute intervals of jogging. Haha, I know, it's not much, but I can only run for so long- I'm about 5 years out of shape! But I tell ya, I was so proud of myself. I was sweating like a Gatorade / Nike ad. Haha, it was crazy!

Thursday, Dec 31, 2009- I got a haircut and did a little bit of shopping. Got me a few things so I was feeling better about myself. Misty met me at my place and we car pooled to the gym. I did 15 minutes on the bike- I never thought that equipment would make me sweat since I just sit there..  But it sure did! I didn't sweat as much as the day before, but it was decent enough to where I felt satisfied, like I was actually accomplishing something! (: After that we lifted some dumb bells and copied some exercises off the poster that was hanging. Haha, that was hard, but it felt good. I've decided to do that more. I'm waiting for a free aerobics class to be listed and I want to try it out. (:

My New Years could have been better... I had to work. But I got all dolled up and everyone was shooting compliments my way. Between that and working out, I definitely was feeling better. I feel like I can DO this! I WILL do this. I'm kind of disappointed at the moment though. I planned on going to the gym, and when I came home from work I got this bad tummyache, so I can't be away from my facilities for too long. *thumbs down* So tomorrow I'm going to go to a WW meeting and then plan on doing an hour at the gym after. ^_^ I also have my Wii fit and Wii Biggest Loser to incorporate into my schedule. Hehe.

So yeah, I work at a casino- New Years Eve it was pretty packed. So much body heat, I was running all over the place. I had to work at 10 hour shift (I normally work 7.5) and by the time I could go home, I was a walking zombie. It sucked though. I had to miss out on Christmas because of work, then I had to miss out on New Years Eve/Day. My friends hung out and I couldn't be with them. And it wasn't so fun seeing people make-out when the ball dropped. On top of that, I texted the boy I like and he never replied.. and the last time I talked to him was over a week ago. So I said that I was just gonna write it off for the new year. No stress. No worries. Just be happy. And lose weight. If my mind starts clouding up with negativity, it'll be HELLO GYM! Yes.. Yes.. This is what I will do. I'm posting this that way if I ever go down hill, you all can yell at me and remind me about my new years resolution. Haha. ^_^

Well, I hope everyone has a great weekend. Go go! We can all do this!

Biggest Loser for Wii.

I went video game shopping today and walked out with Modern Warfare 2 (360) and The Biggest Loser (wii). Has anyone played it and found it very effective? I'm really excited about it. I'm gonna pop it in tomorrow before I go to my weight watchers meeting. I usually like to go to the Saturday meetings because I really find the Saturday leader very motivational. But I missed last Saturday and I feel like I can't "start" the program until I get weighed-in and listened. So yes. Then I'm meeting up with Misty at noon for the gym... Hopefully. Last time she backed out and then I backed out. Just sent her a text saying tomorrow is gonna be hardcore. I'm tired of always talking and planning and not "walking the walk". New Years is coming up soon, I'm sad that I had to miss out on Christmas because of work and now I have to miss out on New Years for work as well. But I'll just have to keep my resolutions in mind (my resolutions is to accomplish my previous resolutions, haha.). Sigh, no boyfriend or new years kiss. Maybe next year?

Discouraged.

My weight keeps creeping up... And it's stressing me out -- to the point where I don't want to do anything because I feel like it's going to be a waste of time. But I know that I really don't want that.. I'm losing hope and motivation. And I've been having a lot of stress from friends and my own personal issues that nothing seems to be interesting. I wish the gym wasn't so far away. And I wish I wasn't always so freakin' tired.

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